Those Crazy Kids From Vault 101
by Skurg
Summary: Daniels and Amata have been best friends since they were just babies. When their world comes crashing down they only have each other to hold onto and remember the people they once were. As they search for answers about Winter's past, they struggle to keep their humanity and, more importantly, their sanity. (Contains sex, drugs, violence and coarse language)
1. The Tree

Hey so I'm new here and this is the first story I'm publishing. Sorry if it looks weird I'm writing this on my iPhone so hopefully everything is kind of presentable. Anyways, hope you guys enjoy and leave a review if you like it so I know if I'm not writing complete garbage. Cheers :-)

"Daaad!" I whine, batting his hand away, "leave my hair alone!"

Dad laughs and runs a brush through it, "Stop complaining sweetie, I'm amazed how messy your hair can get. It's your own fault for not brushing it."

I groan with each not he yanks at, "Nobody can tell Dad!"

"I can. What would you mother think if I let you run around the halls with a bird's nest on your head?"

I sigh and stay still until he's done.

"Good girl," he smiles, "now you can go play."

"Thanks dad!" I grin, grabbing my cap and running out of the apartment full speed.

Dad and I live in a Vault, this stupid metal house under ground. I've never really been outside, we aren't aloud to go outside. It smells really bad down here, like rust and plastic. Our clothes are something like a million years old too, and itchy. A million kids have worn this stupid jumpsuit before me and it's covered in small stains and marks and stitches. I run down the metal stairs, my boots clanking down each step and I round a corner and smash into a security officer.

"Ow!" I cry out, rubbing my nose.

"Easy Winter!" Officer Gomez laughs, a constant smile on his face, "you OK? What has everyone here told you? No running around the halls! If you want to run around go to the park!"

"Yes Officer Gomez. I'm sorry," I sulk, still rubbing my nose as I walk away.

I walk carefully down the halls until I get to the Overseer's office. I push a button and wait.

"Yes?" the Overseer asks, "who is it?"

"It's Winter," I say loudly, "can Amata come out to play?"

He sighs and I stick my tongue out at the microphone. Stupid doo doo head.

"Amata! Your... friend is here to play."

The door rises open and I grin, "Hi Amata!"

"Hey Winter!" she grins, walking past me.

"Be back for dinner!" the Overseer yells after her.

The Overseer's mean to her. When Dad tells me to be home for dinner I know I can come home whenever I want, "within reason" and he won't get mad, because it doesn't really matter. I'm ten years old and just learning to tell the time. I know how to tell the time on my watch, but I don't tell Dad, it lets me pretend to not know I'm late. The Overseer gets mad at Amata, a lot, for silly things. One time she yelled at him and she wasn't allowed to come out to play for TWO WEEKS!

"Come on!" Amata grins, running toward the park.

"Don't run!" I giggle after her, "Officer Gomez caught me this morning!"

She slows down until we reach the park.

There's only one tree in the entire Vault, and I like to climb as high as I can ontop of it, even though it scares Amata when I do it. She's bossy and doesn't let me do anything dangerous in case I get hurt, no matter how many times I say that my Dad is a doctor and can fix me up.

The park is surrounded by metal, even the top. It's got a swing and a slide and a tree, with a lot of room to run around in, but I just want to break my record on how high I've climbed the tree.

"Winter!" Amata gasps when I swing up a branch, "come down! It's dangerous!"

"Bossy face!" I giggle, "come ON Amata! Have fun!"

"I have fun!" she yells up at me.

"Prove it! I doggie dare you!"

"You're mean!" she sighs as she starts climbing.

"Come on! I'll help you," I smile, holding out my hand.

She keeps climbing up, then she looks down and stops, "Winter I'm scared."

"Don't be scared," I smile, "I'm here, I won't let you get hurt."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She keeps climbing and I hold my hand out to her.

"Amata!" a booming voice echoes throughout the park, "WHAT are you doing?"

"Daddy?!" Amata gasps.

"Get down from there NOW!"

"Hold on!" I gasp, grabbing her hand.

"Winter I'm scared!"

My feet slip from holding Amata and I almost fall.

"No!" I growl, grabbing the branch at the last minute.

Two security guards burst in, "Amata! Let go!" Gomez yells, "I'll catch you!"

"He'll catch you Amata," I say, "trust me."

She nods and me and starts to cry, before letting go of my hand. Gomez catches her and runs off with the other guard.

"Hey!" I yell, "you left me behind!"

I try to get my hand up, but I'm not strong enough. My hand slips, and I fall.

When I land I hear a loud snap and my arm really hurts.

I roll off of my arm and start to cry.

"Daddy! Daddy!"

Grandma Palmer, the oldest lady in the Vault who I think is as old as the clothes, bursts in and gasps, "Oh my gosh! Dear!"

She runs over to me and kneels down, "Oh what have you done here?"

"My arm hurts!" I cry, like a baby. Only babies cry. Butch won't let me hear the end of it now.

"Come on dear, let's get you to Daddy so we can get that arm fixed up."

As we walk to my Dad's office I hear the Overseer yelling at Amata, and Amata crying. I get too mad to cry anymore, even when Dad has to move my arm and it hurts really really badly I don't cry. The Overseer's mean, he doesn't protect Amata, he scares her.

He comes in to yell at me once I feel better, but Dad makes him go away before I can yell at him for being a bad Daddy to Amata. I'll yell at him tomorrow.


	2. Be Careful

8 years later

I slowly bat open my eyes and glance up at the shadowy figure standing by my bed. The body I held in my arms was gone and the hands around the back of my neck where gone as well.

"Wha-?" I yawn, rubbing my eyes and trying to get my vision to focus and adjust to the darkness. The shadow turns and notices I'm awake.

"Hey," she smiles, stroking my cheek, "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Hmm?" I yawn, looking up at her magnificent display of beauty that I had claimed as mine just barely a few hours ago. When I lift my head up to say something more than a mumble I feel her fingers glide through my hair and gently rest my head back down.

"Just go back to sleep," she softly kisses my cheek after she zips up her jumpsuit, "I'll see you in the morning OK? That stupid "adult" party finishes soon and I'm supposed to be in bed. You were amazing Winter. Thank you."

I smile and pull her back ontop of me and kiss her lips, "Why do you have to leave so soon?"

"Winter don't," she giggles when I kiss her neck, "I want to but-"

"But nothing," I laugh, running a hand through her red hair.

"N-no," she sighs, slipping away from me, "I'll see you soon OK? Sleep tight and... thank you for being... careful."

"Don't mention it," I smile. I watch her leave and sigh when I'm left alone, before closing my eyes again and slowly drifting back to sleep.

"Get up."

I groan and roll onto my stomach, immediately recognizing the voice I did NOT need to hear so early in the morning, "No..."

"Winter get your lazy ass out of bed before I shoot you with that stupid BB gun."

"Amata it's Saturday..." I whine against my pillow, "normal people sleep in on Saturdays."

"It's 11AM and I'm sick of waiting for you in your living room. You said you were going to help me with my mechanics homework and so far nothing is even HINTING towards you getting out of bed."

"Can't you get Stanley to help you? Leave me alone...!" I groan, "fuck you're so STUBBORN!"

"Watch your language Winter!" Dad calls out.

"Ugh fine," I get out of bed and yawn.

"Thank you!" she sighs, "Christ it's like raising the dead!"

"Morning sir," I yawn, walking past the Overseer's office. He doesn't look up from his work and grunts in reply.

"Dick," I mutter under my breath.

"Don't," she scolds, shoving me into her room. I collapse onto the bed and close my eyes, my body dying just for a few more seconds rest.

"Oh for god's sake!" Amata groans, "get off my bed!"

I laugh when she tries to grab me. I sit up and scratch the back of my head.

"Hey... can I tell you something...?"

She rolls her eyes, "I swear to god if this is a joke..."

"No, it isn't..." I chuckle, "I um... I had... sex last night."

"Bullshit!" she bursts out, a grin on her face, "you DIDN'T!"

"Yeah, I did." I roll my eyes.

"Who was it?" she begs, jumping on the bed next to me. Ah Amata, when she senses drama she clings onto it and sucks every piece of information dry like a straw.

"I said I wouldn't tell," I laugh.

"Then why did you tell me?!"

"Aw come on I had to tell somebody!"

"Tell-"

"Hey," Susie Mack interrupts us, walking in, "sorry Amata I need to borrow Winter for a few minutes."

It's funny how the way I look at her and hear her voice completely changes overnight. It's like I developed x-ray vision or something, because I can see through her jumpsuit and into her glorious body. All I can hear is her moans as she squirms beneath me, her whimpering my name in my ear as she clings onto me and pulls at my messy mop of black hair.

"Uh..." my brain eventually returns from being mush and snaps back into reality.

"Yeah, sure... what do you need?"

I follow her out and down a hallway, a stupid smirk on my face.

"Hey! Winter!" a hand taps my shoulder firmly.

I turn around and I'm met by a powerful punch in the face by Wally Mack... Susie's brother. The punch sends my skinny frame flying and the back of my head bangs against the metal floor, "Ow!"

"Wally!" Susie yells, "my GOD! Why did you do that?! You promised you were just going to talk!"

"Fuck my sister huh?!" he growls, picking me up by the collar of my jacket, hoisting me up into the air and slamming me against a wall.

"What are you talking about?" I gasp.

"You FUCKED my sister you bitch! I don't care if you're a girl! Nobody fucks my sister!"

"Wally! This isn't like you!" Susie gasps.

"You think you can do whatever you want with that baby face," he snarls, "if you EVER touch my sister again, I'll fucking torture you."

He drops me and I lean against the wall and turns his back. I grit my teeth and lunge at him, "Mother fucker!" I yell, slugging his face, "you don't touch me!"

"Winter! Stop it!" Amata gasps. She must have heard me yelling from her room.

"Don't! Let them sort it out!" Stanley says, grabbing her arm to restrain her, "we'll never hear the end of it if they don't!"

Wally swings and I jump away and manage to clip his chin. He yells in rage and shoves me to the floor, before landing a perfect punch to my nose.

"No," he growls, "you don't fucking touch ME! Don't get up, you'll regret it."

I lie there, numb with shock as I close my eyes and he walks away.

"Hey," a gently voice whispers, touching my chin.

I slowly open my eyes and see Amata smiling at me, "Let's get you cleaned up OK?"

I walk with Amata and sit on her desk chair in her room, fighting back tears from the incredible pain in my nose.

"Probably wasn't a good idea to sleep with the sister of a Tunnel Snake," Amata smirks, opening her first aid kit.

"The thought didn't occur to me," I groan, hissing when she dabs disinfectant on the cut on my nose.

Amata works on cleaning the blood away, keeping that smug smirk on her face while she does it.

"This isn't funny," I sigh.

"Yeah, it kinda is," she giggles.

"Fuck you," I try to scold her, but instead I laugh as well.

"I'm sorry but- ha! Susie Mack!" she laughs, "of ALL the girls in the Vault you had to pick!"

"I didn't pick her, she picked me!"

"Oh whatever Winter nothing stopped you from ending it."

"Well who else was I going to pick?! The nosy tramp Christine Kendall? Give me a break I'm not that stupid."

"Be nice," her taunting voice goes soft, "oh Blue Eyes you're betting a black eye."

"Don't call me Blue Eyes," I laugh quietly, looking up at her from the bed.

She gives me a small smile and strokes a small spot of blood off my cheek, "Why? You have the clearest blue eyes I've ever seen in my life. You're my best friend in this Vault, Winter. Just think a bit before you go and do something stupid like that."

"I'll be careful," I smile and stand up, "alright! Where's that stupid homework?"

...

Yes yes I know this is two short chapters in a row. I PROMISE the next one is going to be longer and I'll have much less exposition in them. Chapter 3 should be up in no more than three days so until then see you guys :-)


	3. Getting to Know Mr Daniels

"Alright kids, show's over," Brock sighs, "homework is reading the first few chapters on Great Expectations and writing a summary on each by Thursday."

I look around the corner and see the students leaving. Ever since I "graduated" a few months ago I envy the easiness of the whole thing. Now I work 8 hours a day instead of sitting in class for 4 and I don't quite remember getting hit with as many pipes than I did when I was in class. Ever since I "fell" and busted my nose, every day I have to see Dad to sure I have no lasting damage there. I walk past Susie and she gives me an apologetic look, one I'd long since ignored and even longer since forgiven. It wasn't even her fault, sure she'd told Wally, but this was only after he'd caught her sneaking in late and nagged her to tell him what had happened.

My feelings for Susie could easily pass as romantic ones, but the problem is that it's almost impossible for me to get any private time with her, what with her mother and brother watching over her like a hawk. I don't really understand it much. I'm a nice person and I didn't run my mouth to the Vault about that night a few weeks ago, it felt like years now, though I guess I do understand why they would want Susie to be safe, no matter what. Don't get me wrong, time hasn't dragged on because my brain cannot bear another moment separated from Susie, it's far from it. Sure I like her, but feelings like that require time that we just haven't had together yet. We've talked a lot though, if that counts towards anything. "Accidental" meet ups in the park left us in conversations that lasted hours. If only Wally would stop trying to burn holes in my head from the looks he's giving me.

It was kind of funny watching Susie's cheeks get a tad red when I hung out with Amata though, especially when we were up in the tree and out of ear shot.

"Hey kiddo!" Jonas, Dad's assistant grins as I turn the corner into Dad's office. Jonas was kind of the closest thing Dad ever had to a son. Sure he has the curious daughter who spends her free time shooting rad roaches, but that doesn't count toward a son.

"Gah!" I yell out, "SHIT! Jonas don't scare me like that!"

He laughs and lightly whacks me over the head with a clipboard, "You're so jumpy, it's amazing."

"Well well," Dad sighs, "look who decided to show up."

"We got kept in late," I mumble.

Dad rolls his eyes, "Jonas can you not come into the office until Winter's gone?"

"You got it doc."

"Take a seat Winter," he sighs.

I sit down and squirm a bit. My father is a man who's almost always calm and relatively relaxed, now he seems tense as he scratches at his short beard.

"Now... I'm going to ask you this only once... what's going on between you and Susie Mack?"

"Oh." I cough, my hands instantly going sweaty, "nothing."

He laughs, "God you're a horrible liar Winter Daniels."

"Hey!"

"Don't "hey!" me young lady! Winter you're engaged in a sexual relationship and you didn't even care to even MENTION it to me!"

"Why should I? Dad I'm almost nineteen years old! I'm not your little girl anymore! I don't need you!"

"Don't talk to me that way!" he yells, standing up on his desk, "ever since the day you were born all I have ever done is put you first! Even when you didn't want me to I did EVERYTHING to make sure you were safe! Everytime you get hurt I have to pick up the pieces! of course you need me! Your mother-"

"Oh stop bringing mum up!" I yell back, "you think I don't KNOW she died because I was born?! Do you know what that's DONE to me?! How many times I lie awake at night knowing how MISERABLE you are because she's gone! I would GLADLY swap my life for hers because every day all I think about is how I took HER away from YOU! I was wrong when I said I didn't need you! You don't need me!"

He looks shocked, eyes wide. We both stand there for what seems like an eternity, him shellshocked myself viciously angry. "Y-you don't actually think that do you?!"

"Well what am I supposed to think?! EVERY GODDAMN DAY it's 'your mother' and 'Revelation 21:6' this and 'oh Catherine' that! For NINETEEN YEARS this is all it has been! How do you think I feel about that?!"

I pant hard and stare hard into his eyes. "You're right..." he sighs, "you don't need me anymore..."

"My nose is fine," I scowl, walking out and into the Vault again.

"Hey Winter," Amata smiles, passing me in the hallway, "... Something wrong?"

"Nothing," I scowl.

"Woah woah! Hold up!"

"Amata just leave me alone, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I storm through the hallways and into the cafeteria. Susie's sitting by herself with nobody around her.

"Woah what the hell happened to you?!" Susie gasps, looking up from her lunch and textbook, "you look like someone slapped you in the face!"

I grab her wrist, "You, me, right now."

She raises an eyebrow, "Winter are you on something? You look like hell."

"Come on. I've missed you."

I yank her up and drop her wrist, walking for the vacant apartment I use as shooting practice. She follows me, "Winter I'm legitimately concerned about you!" she says.

"Don't be, I'm fine," I say, looking over my shoulder.

We avoid being seen together by our neighbors and security guards, and I shut the door of the apartment behind us and lock it. The Vault Tec. vaults have a mechanism that once the door locks the windows are covered by blinds.

I shove her against the wall and kiss her passionately, running my hand through her hair. She resists at first, my guess she was trying to talk some sense into me. Eventually the hands pushing at my shoulders move to around my neck and she kisses back.

"God I've missed you," she gasps as I kiss her neck.

"I've missed you too," I purr, playfully tugging at her bottom lip with my teeth.

"There's that smile," she giggles when I eventually break away with a smile on my face.

"I'm sorry I came off as aggressive," I sigh, slowly unzipping her jumpsuit, "but I really need you right now."

"You have me Winter," she smiles, slipping her arms around me, "you have me."

I grin and and fall onto the bed beside her and kiss her lips. She slowly breaks away from me and straddles my thighs. I smirk up at her as she unzips my jumpsuit. We help each other out of our clothes and underwear and lie together, kissing various areas of our bodies.

"I want to be able to trust you Winter," she murmurs as I roll us over.

I nod and peck the top of her nose, "You can, I promise that you can."

She closes her eyes and exhales as I scratch the back of her hair. She smiles and tilts her head to the right when I scratch the left side.

"Don't break my heart Winter," she says softly as I start to kiss down her body.

I look up at her and don't break my gaze, "I won't."

...

"Wow," Susie gasps, face blank as she slips her arms around me, "that was... wow."

I kiss the top of her head as I pull a blanket over us, "I didn't hurt you did I?"

She immediately shakes her head, "No, absolutely not. Winter that was something else. You need to be mad like that more often."

I laugh and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, "I'll try to keep that in mind."

She smiles and nestles closer to me. I'm around a head taller that Susie, so it's a perfect height for her to nuzzle my neck and make it comfortable for us to lie together. I groan in frustration as the stupid Pip-boy gets in the way, "Ugh! I really freaking hate these things sometimes."

She giggles, "Stop being so dramatic. Don't ruin this."

"Sorry," I chuckle, twirling our fingers together and closing my eyes.

I groggily open my eyes and look around. I'm still in the apartment... and Susie's asleep next to me. I sit up and run a hand through my hair and look at the metal ceiling above me.

"Winter?" she yawns, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I sigh.

"Tell me." she sighs, moving her head up and resting it on my shoulder.

"It's my birthday today," I murmur, "I'm 19 years old."

"Happy birthday," she smiles with a surprised expression, "why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because what's to celebrate?" I shrug, "another year of being trapped in this box? There's an entire world out there, and we're in here. Why can't we just... I don't know... poke our heads out of that Vault for a day? It's been 200 years, SURELY at least SOME parts of the Old World has recovered."

"Huh," she laughs, "that escalated quickly."

"You know what I mean."

"And you know why can't do that."

"WHY?!" I whine, "I don't want to spend the rest of my life staring at the same lights, wearing the same Vault suit, seeing the same people every day, climbing the same trees, eating the same food. Just outside our door is a whole new-"

"Stop it," Susie snaps, "Winter you KNOW what the Overseer does to people who want to leave the Vault."

I roll my eyes, "Come on, you can't tell me you've never sat in class and wonder what the world is like right now. I want to explore it, to TALK to people who aren't FROM here-"

"Stop talking," she sighs, pulling me down onto my back and climbing ontop of me, "it's your birthday, be happy with life."

"But-"

"Stop talking!" she laughs, before kissing my lips, "god you're so stubborn!"

"And you," I smile, "are just trying to compensate because I DID tell you when my birthday was, and you've forgotten and now are trying to compensate sex for a gift."

"I swear to god if you say one more word I'm shoving one of your smelly socks down your throat."

...

"We should go. People will be wondering where we've gone." I yawn, getting up and starting to get dressed. Susie whimpers and gets up as well, "You have work today don't you?"

"Yeah, Stanley's got me working the water purifier and working on some unstable valves."

"I never had you pegged for a maintenance worker/engineer." she chuckles.

"Neither did I, stupid GOAT. Why do we HAVE to have a set job anyway? I wanna change jobs."

"Whine whine whine," she laughs, pecking my lips, "those beautiful lips are ruined by your complaining, you know that right?"

After an agonizing work shift that resulted in a small cut on my hand and grubby fingers, I walked to my apartment and peer around corners, no one's here. I sigh, I'm relieved and disappointed at the same time. A surprise party would have caused me unbearable social awkwardness and Dad being there really wouldn't have helped, that and my apartment is small, just has a living room, bathroom and a bedroom big enough for a single bed (glamorous, I know). I doubt five people could fit in here at one time. On the other hand-

"Surprise!" Amata screams behind me.

"FUCKING HELL!" I scream, leaping away from her.

She bursts out laughing as I pick myself up from the floor.

"That is NOT funny!" I gasp.

"Whatever. I'm amazed there isn't a dent in the ceiling you jumped that high. Happy birthday Winter!"

"Fuck you," I laugh, hugging her.

"Ugh! Shower first before I give you your present! You smell horrible."

"Aw you always know exactly what do say to make me feel better." I smile.

When I shower and scrub off all the oil and grime and change into a shirt and shorts, Amata's looking at me from my living room couch.

"What?" I ask, drying my hair with a towel.

"You should grow your hair. You've had the same hairstyle your entire life. Have some variety."

"What?" I ruffle the black mess, "it's lower neck length and spikey, it's unique and I want to leave it alone."

"Whatever." she shrugs, "it's your hair."

She hands me a small box and I smile, "This isn't a textbook again is it?"

"Just open it."

I rip the box open and laugh, "You devious bitch," I grin and hold the whiskey bottle up so I can read the print. Drinking in the Vault is forbidden to anyone younger than 21, but I'd broken into Dad's liquor cabinet a few times before today.

"Whos is it?" I ask, unscrewing the cap and smelling the liquor.

"My Dad's," she laughs.

I grin and take a swig, "Wow that's really good."

I hold the bottle out to her and she shakes her head.

"C'mon," I smile, "just a sip, I promise it's good."

"I know it's good, I had to break into my father's office to get it."

"Amata..." I smile, wriggling the bottle in front of her, "Mr Jack Daniels would like to get to know you better..."

"You aren't funny, you know that?" she swipes the bottle from my hand and takes a sip. She starts coughing and I laugh, "Yeah, it burns doesn't it."

"Shut up," she says, drinking some more.

"Hey easy," I warn, "you aren't supposed to skull it."

I take the bottle and drink some.

...

2 hours later

"Maybe I'm a distant relative of Jack Daniels?" I stumble out of my bedroom wearing my welding goggles, with them covering only one eye and the other goggle resting ontop of my head.

"PFT!" Amata laughs, sprawled on the couch, "doubt it. He's from... a long time ago."

"My last name is Daniels too!" I whine, "there's always a possibility!"

She rolls her eyes and I sit down on the couch, putting her feet in my lap, "I'm drunk." she gasps.

"Of course you are." I giggle.

"And we're gonna be SO hungover tomorrow it isn't even funny."

"We'll cross the bride when we get to it." I shrug, looking at my Pip-Boy, "oh fuck! It's 11! I've gotta be at work by 5!"

"That's my cue to leave I'm guessing?" she laughs, before standing up and her legs giving way.

"No you ain't going out like that," I groan, picking her up and lying her on my bed.

"This reminds me of when we were kids," she giggles, "aside from the drinking bit."

"Just go to sleep," I say, pulling the blankets over us.

...

Alright this chapter was a pain in the arse to write but Chapter 4 is 95% done as you're reading this so I'll PROBABLY have it up today or tomorrow if I'm motivated. Leave a review if you liked or hated it and have a great day guys.


	4. The End of Our World

Chapter 4

One month later:

"Wake up!"

I gasp and shoot up from bed, "Gah!"

"Finally! Thank god!" Amata gasps.

I grin drowsily, "How weird, I was just having that dream about you again..."

She whacks the back of my head harshly, "Not now! This is really bad!"

A loud siren echoes throughout the Vault and Amata herself looks terrified.

"What? What's wrong? Tell me Amata!"

"I-it's your Dad! He's escaped the Vault! He's gone!"

"What?!" I yell, before her hand clamps my mouth.

"Shhh shut the hell up!" Amata whispers, "the guards are looking for you!"

"So? I'm here aren't I? Why would I have anything to do with Dad's stupid escape plan?"

"How should I fucking know?" she hisses.

"Woah hey... you don't think I had anything to do with this did you?"

She sighs, "I don't know about anything anymore..."

"O-OK. First thing I'm gonna do is just... talk to your Dad and explain my innocence."

"He won't listen! The guards have guns!"

I blink a bit and take in a breath. The thought occurs to me that I might not live past today if this is true. I sure as shit am not spending the rest of my life in the Vault jail.

"Get out of here, I never talked to you," I say, grabbing a bag and filling it with whatever "supplies" I have.

"What are you doing?"

"Leaving... I'm going to open the door." I try to sound determined, but my heart aches and pounds with fear with every syllable.

"I... I-" she looks down with tears in her eyes, "here."

She hands me a gun and I tuck it into my pocket, "Come here," I say, pulling her into a hug. She hugs me back, crying and kissing my cheek, "I'll meet you at the door if I can. If not..." she just can't finish the sentence.

"Goodbye Amata," I whisper, "be brave OK? Look after Su- oh SHIT!"

"What?" she asks, following me as I start running.

"If they're looking for me the first place they'll try other than here is Susie's apartment!"

"Winter! Shoot to wound!" she calls as I dart out of sight. It's true. These people may be out to capture me, but they were friends, neighbors, they did good by me when I grew up without a mother.

"Hey! Winter!" Butch screams, running up to me. I turn and frantically point my gun at him, but I drop it.

"Woah! Don't shoot!" he begs, "it's my mom! The radroaches have her cornered!"

"Butch I'm busy right now!"

"Please! She's gonna die!"

The son of a bitch has bullied Amata all her life, but his mum is his mum.

"Here," I shove the BB gun in his hands and run with him into their apartment.

Butch's mum is covered in roaches, and Butch panics, "Oh god oh god oh god!" he gaps.

"Shoot them!" I gasp, kicking one away from her. He shoots all the roaches as his mother screams for his help.

"You're the best!" Butch grins.

"Not now Butch!" I gasp, snatching the gun from him.

"Oh yeah... nice knowing you... I guess..." he trails off, looking down.

I take a deep breath and start running again for the apartment.

"Susie?!" I yell, running into her apartment, "Susie?!"

"Oh thank god!" Susie leaps from under her bed and flings herself onto me, hugging me as tightly as she can before she starts to bawl, "I thought you were dead!"

"Are you OK?" I gasp, kissing her cheek.

"I'm fine. Oh my god Winter please... y-you didn't have anything to do with this did you?"

"No," I say firmly, "I promise you I didn't, I had no idea."

"What are we going to do Winter?" she sobs.

"It's going to be OK angel," I soothe, stroking her hair, "I promise."

"Check in here!" a guard yells.

"Punch me," she whispers.

"What?!" I whisper loudly back.

"Just do it! Trust me!"

I kiss her forehead, before slamming my fist against her nose. I'm immediately shoved into a closet and she slams the door. I pull down her clothes and cover myself with them.

"Where is she?!" Susie's Dad roars, "answer me Susanne!"

"She left!" she sobs, "she wanted me to go with her, I said no and she punched me! Daddy I'm scared!"

"Don't be scared sweetheart, Daddy's sorry he yelled at you, I'm just angry at the Daniels. Stay here, lock the door behind me and tell me if she comes back. I'll make sure you get cleaned up when this is all over."

I scrunch my eyes tight as they leave and she opens the door.

"I'm so sorry," I beg, rushing into the bathroom and grabbing a towel.

"Don't worry about me!" she gasps, "listen! Go into the head security's room! They might have a password to the door in there!"

I nod and hug her.

"I love you," she cries softly, "you have to promise me that you will live through today. Promise me!"

"Look at me," I say, still holding onto her, "no matter what happens, I'll be alive OK? I promise."

She grabs me and kisses my lips passionately, "You had better not be lying."

"Now listen to me," I say, pushing her off me, "I need you to stay hidden, no matter what OK? Don't follow me and don't let any guards see you."

She nods, "O-OK. I can do that."

"Goodbye," I kiss her quickly, before running out of the apartment.

"There she is! Stop her!"

I look and spot an officer pointing at me. Without thinking I pull out my gun and shoot his leg. He howls in pain and drops to the ground, allowing me to drop over him and do the same to another guard who had heard the gunshot.

"That's right!" Christine Kendall laughs, "run you stupid bitch! You're gonna die tired!"

"This isn't happening," I whisper, "this isn't happening... this isn't happening... wake up!"

I turn around the corner and trip on something.

"Ow!" I gasp, turning around and holding back a scream, "Jonas..."

My father's closest friend and the closest person I ever had to a brother lies dead on the floor, a huge pool of blood on the floor.

"No..." I whisper, crawling to him, "Jonas wake up... Jonas! JONAS!"

I wipe away tears and look at his hand, he's holding a Holotape with my name written on it. In too much of a state to read it, I grab it and run for the security office.

"Daddy let me go!"

I stop dead in my tracks outside the security office and listen.

"Be reasonable Amata... officer Mack may enjoy this but I sure don't. Just tell us where Winter is and everything will be OK."

"She's my friend... I- I was just trying to help her. What does she have to do with any of this anyway?"

"Probably nothing, which is why we need to talk to her... well? Where is she?... Very well, Mack, do it."

"No!" I yell, bursting in and pointing my gun at Mack.

"No!" Susie screams, running in after me, "Winter! Don't shoot my Dad!"

"Aw look, the baby found a gun," the Overseer smirks.

"L-l-l-look," I stutter, the gun weighing a million tonnes in my hands, "I- just leave her alone! Give me the password to the door and you'll never see me again!"

Mack growls, "You! You've brought nothing but SHIT to this Vault! To my family! Both you AND your father! You've been fucking my daughter, you beat my son up, and you DARE to point a gun at me?! Shoot ME in front of my daughter?!"

"This can end right now," I stutter. My entire body is shaking with fear, I can almost hear my heart pounding harder and harder.

"You know what Winter?" Mack sighs, "go ahead, shoot me."

"What?"

"Do it! Right there!" he points at his forehead, "I want to see if you have the BALLS to shoot me! You traitorous little shit!"

"No! Winter don't!" Susie begs.

I stick a hand behind my back and give her a thumbs up and glance back before I see Mack draw his gun.

"Fuck!" I scream, a searing pain in my leg, dropping my gun.

"Ha!" Mack laughs as I fall to the ground, clutching my bleeding leg. He walks up and aims the gun at my face.

"Please," I beg.

"Daddy! Don't!" Susie screams.

"Good riddance kid."

I close my eyes and hear a gunshot and Susie screaming, "No!"

My eyes flicker open, I'm not dead. I've got blood on my face and Amata is trying to pull me up.

"You killed him!" Susie screams at Amata, "you shot my Daddy!"

"Winter you need to go!" Amata gasps.

I look up at the Overseer, a cool, calm expression on his face, "I'm going to kill you." he says calmly, "slowly. In front of the entire Vault."

I scramble up and Amata supports me by putting an arm around my waist and pulling my arm around her neck.

"Amata!" he shouts, "come back here RIGHT NOW!"

"Be right back!" she yells.

"This isn't happening..." I groan, running and hopping with one foot.

"Come on, you need to go!"

I can only steal a small glance at Susie, who's sobbing over her father's body.

I groan and raise my gun and fire at anyone who tries to stop us, either in the shoulder or the leg. I could never live with myself if I killed someone, anyone.

"Here, just sit down," she soothes once we get into the Overseer's office and locks the door behind us.

"Argh! God!" I yell, "oh FUCK it hurts so bad!"

"Shh it's OK." she bends over the computer, "Daddy always tells me the password when he changes it, in case something happens to him."

She logs into the computer and uploads all the files onto her Pip-boy, that stupid damn chunky computer watch, it weighs a tonne right now on my wrist.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing," she sniffs, before activating the escape lock and picking me up, "come on."

I limp down the escape tunnel with Amata, "Fuck..." I groan.

"Stay awake Winter. I need you," she snarls, "we can do this!"

We stumble into the entrance room and Amata pulls down on the lever.

"Wait!" I shout, but I don't know why. Growing up in the Vault we both knew that opening the Vault door was simply unthinkable, no exceptions about anything, it stayed closed, that was the end of it. Seeing the door swing open and a huge gush of air hit my face, it was the most amazing and terrifying thing I've ever seen and felt in my life. There's a long tunnel carved into the earth and leading to it is a small wooden door, freedom.

"Drop me," I say, "I can make it from here."

"No," she sighs, "I'm going with you."

"Amata no!" I say, stopping her, "think about this! I don't want you go through this with me, it could be dangerous! We don't know what it's like out there!"

"You're my best friend Winter. You mean the world to me. Wherever you go, I go."

"Get the door open!" The Overseer shouts, pounding at the door to the entrance room of the Vault.

"Last chance. We won't come back."

Amata looks down, tears in her eyes, before looking up and running for the open door.

"Amata!" The Overseer roars, "get back here right now!"

"Winter!" Susie screams, "no!"

I look back, Wally is restraining her, and she's holding out her hand for me. Tears are pouring down her eyes and she's screaming her head off.

"Go! Get Amata!" the Overseer shouts, "leave the brat!"

"I'm not going out there!" a guard shouts.

"Just shut the door!"

"Let's go," I say, reaching and opening the door.

"Argh...!" I gasp, scrunching my eyes tight as a blinding light hits me. I slowly open them and gasp, "Oh... my... god..."


	5. The Carcass Called Civilization

When I was little my Dad used to tell me a story before I went to bed. It was a story about this man, Herbert Dashwood and his brother Argyle. They travelled the world together, having adventures and saving innocents from "evil people". I thought of them like heroes, and I wanted to be like them when I grew up. Now, at age 19, I stood with my back to my home, a bullet in my leg, and nothing but a motivation to punch my father in the face when I find him.

"There's nothing..." I whisper, "there's nothing..."

I was wrong. Any ideas I had in my head about rebuilt civilization went up in a puff of smoke. It's a desert landscape, with a ruined Washington Monument and lake in the far off distance.

"Fuck..." I whisper.

"We've got to find a doctor," Amata says, looking numb as she moved us forward.

We walk down a path that led up to the Vault and I hiss in pain whenever I have to put weight on my leg.

"Here," she says, walking up to a sign, "Springvale!"

Springvale turns out to be an old, destroyed housing estate, with no food or water.

"What are we going to do?" Amata whispers.

"I have no clue," I groan, in a foul mood as I look at a scorched estate.

"Here," she helps me onto the ground, "sit here, I'm going to look around."

"Woah wait I'm going with you." I frown.

"No, you aren't. If I get into trouble I don't want to be carrying a 52 kilo weight when I'm running."

"OK but stay within distance where I can hear you, Christ..." I sigh.

"I'll be back soon OK? Play with the pip-boy or something."

She walks of and I lean against a worn old picket fence. I look up at the hill that lead to the Vault and sigh miserably, it's not even 10AM, and already today I've shot 5 people, punched my girlfriend in the nose, seen a dead man, have my best friend's father threaten to kill me, been shot in the leg, been kicked out of the only home I have ever known and tossed into a carcass that people used to call civilization.

"... and I, John Henry Eden..."

I turn my head and gasp, "Amata!"

It's a small circle shaped machine robot thingy, hovering in the air and traveling down the road.

"What the hell is that thing?" Amata gasps, running toward me.

"I don't know!" I yell, "I don't know anything about this place!"

"Calm down," she begs, tears running down her cheeks, "calm down."

I hear a gunshot and my head whips up to meet it.

"What are you-?" she gasps as I get up.

"I'm following it," I grunt, hobbling hopelessly, "it could be a group of survivors."

"Or they could be horrible people who will kill us!"

"We're going to die here if we don't find supplies." I say, "we don't even have water!"

I hobble up a hill while Amata carries my bag.

It's a... gate I think. Made of old rusty metal with a man standing guard over it.

"Go go go!" she limps us towards the gate hurriedly, "Help! My friend's been shot! We're friendly!"

The guard turns his head, "Open the gate."

We hobble through the gate and the guard slides down a ladder, "What do you need?"

"A doctor," I hiss, clutching my leg.

"Here," he picks me up and carries me down a hill quickly. I only catch a blur of small buildings and other people before I'm carried into a shack.

"I'm Doc Church, can I help you two strangers?"

"Please, we don't have any money. My friend's been shot and she's hurt real bad!"

"Lay her on the table, we'll talk about payment later."

"Thank you," I gasp at the guard as he lies me down. The doctor rolls my pant leg up and shakes his head, "What's your name?"

"W-W-Winter," I stutter, "is something wrong?"

"Well there's good news and bad news," he says, "the bad news is that the bullet is stuck in your leg, it didn't pass through. The good news is that you don't have a serious infection, that way I won't have to waste as much meds on getting you fixed up." He prods the bullet wound with gloved fingers.

"Oh god," I yell, "it hurts so bad!"

"Oh stop your crying you baby!" he tuts, "you ain't never been shot before?" he looks at Amata, "listen, I need your help, we need to work together to help your friend."

"It's Amata, what do you need?"

"Go into the cabinet and get some liquor, strong. Give her a sip."

She brings the whiskey to my lips and I drink.

"OK kiddo," he says, bringing out a long knife, "this is going to hurt. Amata, hold her shoulders down."

"Wait- what?! Can we talk about this?!" I gasp as he shoves a gag into my mouth.

"Nope," he sticks the knife in my leg.

I scream in pain and fight under Amata's grasp.

"Don't move kid!" he shouts, "almost found it!"

The pain's making me dizzy. I look down at the blood pouring out of my leg and scream into the gag as he twists and turns his knife.

"Got it! Hope you have a high pain threshold kid. This will hurt a bit."

He twists it hard before everything goes black.

I jolt awake and look down to see a bandage on my leg with several spots of red on it.

"Oh thank god you're awake," Amata gasps, her eyes red and cheeks damp, "Church said you might take longer."

"Amata?" I pant, "is... is it out?"

"Yeah, it's out."

"Ugh... thank god."

"How do you feel?" she says, sitting on the bed next to me.

"My leg feels dead, but it's slightly better... where am I?"

The room is really dusty and built around wood, it's messy with medical supplies everywhere.

"Clinic."

"Nobody hurt you?" I ask, sitting up.

She shakes my head, "Everyone here is... amazing. I- I kind of... lost it when you passed out. This lady took me up to her house and gave me a drink while Doc was patching you up. M... Martha I think? I was in too much of a state to remember."

"They aren't dangerous?"

She shakes her head, "Far, far from it."

I look up when I hear a knock on the door. A man stands at the door in a dusty coat and cowboy hat, with a greying beard, "Mornin'," he says, a strong western accent I remember hearing from old movies we used to watch... back home, "you mind if we talk?"

"No."

"Name's Lucas Simms, town sheriff."

"Winter Daniels," I look back at Amata, "Amata Almodovar."

"Nice to meet you both. You both look tense," he chuckles, "I'm just here to talk. That's all."

He takes a seat beside us on a stool and clears his throat, "Incase you didn't see the sign on the way in, this is Megaton. You'll see more of it when Doc sees you're OK to be moving around. Mind telling me how you got shot?"

"We came from a Vault, we've lived there our entire lives. My father broke out yesterday and I don't know why, the guards were unhappy with it and they shot me."

"Sorry to hear that. You have to understand, my concern is over my people, and the Wasteland doesn't exactly harbor the happiest souls. I need to know whether or not you're going to be a problem."

I nod my head, "We won't be around for long. I'll work of the cost of the medical supplies and I'll start looking for my father."

"That's mighty kind of you, to work off the debt and everything."

I nod my head, "I... I've only been here for less than a day, I don't even know how to fire a proper gun properly, or even reload it. I have a BB gun but it doesn't have a kick or isn't nearly as powerful as my 10mm."

"Let me see your gun."

I nod at the gun resting on the table. He picks it up and inspects it, "This is a fine weapon." he smiles, "I'd be happy to teach you how to use it, might even give you a few clips for the road provided you're good."

"Thank you."

"Now you rest that leg up, I'll have someone bring you some food. I'll come see you tomorrow."

"You never said anything about us looking for your father," Amata hisses as he leaves.

"He's my Dad, as fucking stupid as he is he's still the man who brought me up. Besides, I don't plan on making it a happy family reunion. It's his fault we're out here anyway."

Amata sighs, "Let's just get some gun experience first."

"You don't have to come with me. I'll be fine."

She laughs, "That's funny, you should be a comedian."

"Fuck off."

"You know what this reminds me of?" she sighs, "that time when you tried to sneak into Dad's office and get your BB gun that he took away."

"I shot myself in the foot. Literally," I sigh.

"I remember putting ice on it and your Dad telling me what to do. I felt so grown up."

"Ugh don't talk about home," I sigh, "hey... what did you download off your Dad's computer that was so important?"

She sighs and clicks a few buttons on the Pip-boy and holds it in front of me. A photo of them together when Amata was only little, "He's still my Dad too," she sniffs, "no matter how many times we argued."

"Hey," I soothe, hugging her, "hey it's OK."

"I'm so scared Winter," she cries.

"So am I," I close my eyes, "So am I..."

The next day Doc walks in as I'm trying to keep some noodles down, "what's the matter?"

"The food," I gasp, "sorry. It- I'm not used to it."

He chuckles, "Vault food must be pretty good. You up to start moving around?"

I nod, "Yeah. It's fine."

He helps me stand up and I nod when I feel steady. I look at Amata, who's still asleep on a bed beside me, "Don't wake her up. If you don't mind, I want to just have a quick look around?"

He nods, "Knock yourself out. Don't worry I'll take care of Amata."

The first thing that hits me about the Wasteland is the heat. Like a punch in the face it hits me and I groan, gagging and dry retching.

"Hey," Lucas gasps, "you OK?"

"Yeah," I swallow, "I'm fine."

"If you'd like I can teach you how to use that weapon before it gets too hot."

"Thanks," I cough, "I'd really appreciate it- woah!"

A fucking bomb! A massive atomic bomb! It's right in the middle of the town! In a puddle with a MAN standing in the puddle, waving his arms around it.

"Jesus!"

"You didn't see it on your way in?" he frowns.

"No! I was too busy trying to stay conscious, plus that guy was running so fast everything was a blur!"

"Relax, it hasn't gone off, nor do we want it to. We're working on getting a person in to defuse it."

I nod and look at it, "If you're sure it's safe..."

"I have a son." he says, "he's young. I'd leave if we were in any danger."

"Anyway, now that that's out of the way," he smiles, "I want to give you this."

He hands me a belt with a holster, "Had a girl from here a few years ago, ran off to another settlement somewhere. I think it'd suit you best. I assume you're right handed?"

"I am, thank you," I smile, pulling on the belt and sliding the gun into the holster.

"Looks good. Follow me."

Megaton is a town built by pieces of salvaged machines. Busses have been turned into houses and metal sheets are walls of houses. I walk up a long ramp, holding onto the bannister as I walk to support my leg.

"Your leg going OK?" Lucas asks.

"Yeah, just tender."

"So, you're from a Vault huh? How was it like growing up in there?"

"Dark and cramped." I sigh, "but it was safe. I dreamed of leaving, but we weren't allowed to. Now... now I don't know what to think of this place."

"It ain't safe. That's for damn sure." he grunts, turning around and putting his hand on my shoulders, "only the strong survive out there kid. You need to toughen up. Some guy isn't going to resitate when it comes to shooting you just because you're a kid and a girl."

"I'm 19 years old," I protest.

He laughs, "You're small for a 19 year old. I'm glad you found us. You wouldn't have lasted long if you'd been walking out there with little to none weapon experience and no food and water."

We arrive at an abandoned shack with lots of mini holes in it. I brush my fingers against the holes and pull them away sharply from the heat.

"I teach my son here." he lines up some old cans along a bench and hands me a clip, "You know how to load this thing?"

"Um..." I fumble with the gun, "...no. I never needed to... I had enough bullets in the clip..."

"Oh boy..." he sighs, gently gripping my hands and showing me.

"I'm sorry," my face turns red with embarrassment.

"It's not your fault. For all you knew you'd never need to learn how to use one of these... OK, just look down that sight and shoot."

I look down the sight and fire, smashing the can.

"Good shot kid," he smiles.

We train for an hour, Lucas even let me use his assault rifle to try and get me used to the kick.

"You're a good shot kid." he nods, "what did you do in the Vault?"

"I was an engineer and maintenance worker."

"You'd know anything about that bomb?"

"I can take a look at it." I nod, "if you'd let me."

"Of course." he nods, "just be careful alright? This isn't like a busted pipe."

I nod and he grabs my hand and puts some bottle caps in it, "Here's 10 caps. It's money here. Go into Moriarty's Saloon, grab me a beer and something for yourself and meet me by the bomb when you're ready OK?"

I nod, "you've got it."

Moriarty's greets me with a horrible smell and dark shadows. It's quiet and has maybe a dozen people inside. They ignore me and keep drinking, a kind of serious tone to everything.

"My god," I hold my sleeve over my nose when the smell gets overpowering.

"Oh get a stronger stomach smooth skin." a gruff voice scolds.

"Holy shit!" I gasp, "you guys exist?!"

When I was a kid listening to my Dad tell the Dashwood and Argyle stories, he mentioned ghouls, walking corpses that I got scared from, I was 5 years old at the time. Not for one second did I think that they were real, it sounded like Santa or god, things parents told their kids at story time.

He scowls, "Ugh. Not another junkie..."

"No no I'm sorry!" I gasp, "I didn't mean to hurt you feelings I just... I've never seen a ghoul before... I thought they were only in stories... no offense."

"How have you never seen a... oh, you're the kid... Amata right?"

"No, Winter. I'm really sorry," I say, scratching the back of my head.

He raises an eyebrow, "You aren't gonna hell at me? Punch me? I'm a ghoul!"

"What? No! Why would I do that? I'm the one who was acting like a dick."

"So you believe all ghouls have equal rights to humans?"

I sit on the stool, "Do you believe that killing and stealing for personal gain is wrong?"

He looks a little confused by my question, "Um... yeah of course it's wrong. Why?"

"Then you're equal in my eyes." I laugh, annoyed at how cheesy I sound, "I'm sorry, I didn't get your name?"

"Gob."

I hold out my hand and he flinches.

"I just wanted to shake your hand..." I frown.

"Oh, sorry smoo- Winter," he shakes my hand, "you're alright kid, Moriarty'd kill me for offering a discount to customers, but I'd make an exception for you. You ARE over 18 right?"

"19 years 5 months," I smile, "I'm actually here for business. You have two beers?"

"You got four caps?" he smirks.

I get into my pocket and put four caps on the table.

"Just a second boss," he says, "I'll go get them."

He comes back and starts swearing, "UGH! Damn radio!"

I glance at the radio behind him and unscrew one beer, "What's the problem?"

"Radio's busted." he sighs.

"I'll have a look at it when I get this beer to Simms," I say, "promise."

"See you around kid. Don't be a stranger."

I get up and head for the door.

"Excuse me," a deep, husky voice calls.

I turn and see a man in the corner, dressed in a clean suit and glasses, waving in my general direction, "a moment of your time?"


	6. Mr Burke's Proposal

I look at the man, "Who? Me?"

He sighs and rolls his black eyes, "Yes you, who else?"

I walk up to him with an anxious feeling making the hairs on my neck stand up.

"Take a seat," he pats the chair next to him, "I have a proposition for you. My name is Mr Burke. I work for a man called Mr Tenpenny, surely you've heard of him?"

"Can't say I have."

He scoffs, "Local..."

"Can I help you with something or not?" I growl, getting slightly pissed.

"I'll cut to the chase shall I?" he smiles slightly, "I've been looking for a person to do a... favor for me."

He places a small cube on the box and pushes it towards me. I pick it up and inspect it.

"I know you know what this is," he says when he sees my wide eyes, "and I know that you're new here, oblivious to the horrors of this "new world". You're scared, you're hungry, and you have the smaller one with you."

The whole time I'm staring at the detonator in my hands, like it's burning into my skin.

"I'm going to make you an offer. We live in Tenpenny Tower. If you head to the south-west you can't miss it." he leans toward me, "this town is a stain on humanity. They live in the dirt, surviving only with hope and sheer luck. They seem nice now, but near everyone will turn on you eventually... but trust me. I'm that exception. Do this favor for me, we'll give you the best luxuries we have to offer. You'll have money, food, water, a bath, a comfortable bed for both of you, and, most importantly... you'll be safe. We have walls around us, with guards working around the clock to protect you. Do we have a deal?"

"I..." I look down at the detonator. So many lives lost for Amata and I's gain... I would never do that, no matter how desperate we were. I would do anything to keep Amata safe and alive, but living doesn't mean lying awake at night thinking that your life is worth the deaths of so many women and children, mine certainly isn't.

"I'll have to think about it."

"Take all the time you need." he smiles, "just remember what could be yours."

My plan is to lie about putting the device in, maybe make a replica without the wires and destroy the other. Then I'd go to the tower, hit the detonation charge and claim it was a dud. I'll go home with at least my caps reward.

"What took you?" Lucas frowns, "damn beer better be cold."

"It is," I hand it to him, "what's your son's name?"

"Harden," he says as I look at the bomb, "he's barely 10 years old, but he wants to be just like me when he's all grown up."

I smile and carefully examine the circuit board, "You must be proud."

"I am." I can hear his smile, "dumb as a bag of hammers though."

I laugh and find the wires. The cube in my pocket pokes my thigh and I look down at it.

"Find something?" he frowns, "can you disarm it?"

I sigh and unholster my gun, "Yeah."

It's not worth the risk, they'd just try again and pick someone else, these people aren't tools for my own personal gain, I'm not a sick bastard like Burke.

"What are you-?!"

I throw the cube onto the ground and fire at it twice, splintering it before stomping my boot against it.

"Stop right there." he growls, pointing his gun at me.

"Don't shoot," I say, tears in my eyes, "t-that was a detonator. That guy in the saloon gave it to me."

"Burke?! Jesus Christ..." he trails off, staring at the mess and looking absolutely numb, "well, I'm glad you destroyed it... why didn't you tell me right away?"

"Because I was contemplating lying, saying the bomb was a dud and getting my reward."

He frowns, "Hmph... Where's Burke now?"

"The saloon probably."

"Right. Come with me if you want, I'm not risking anything, that prick's under arrest."

"Hey," Amata smiles, walking out of the Clinic yawning and scratching the back of her hair, a habit the two of us shared, "boy I slept in. What are you two doing?"

"Arresting a dangerous man," Lucas says gruffly, glaring at me.

"Are you serious?" she gasps, "why?!"

"I'll tell you later," I sigh, "just be safe OK?"

"Are you nervous?" Lucas asks as we stand outside the door.

"Terrified," I laugh, unholstering my weapon.

"On my go, we swarm him understand?"

"Got it."

"OK... go!"

I burst into the bar and point the gun at Burke, "freeze you son of a bitch!" I shout, shoving the gun in his face.

"Mr. Burke! I hearby place you under arrest on charges of attempted mass murder in the 1st degree!" Lucas growls, shoving his assault rifle in Burke's face.

"What?!" he gasps, "Sheriff! How can you make that accusation?!"

"Don't you dare try to deceive me," he growls, "put your fucking hands up and come with me right now! Before I fucking shoot you!"

My hands tremble slightly and I snarl to try and make it look like I'm not afraid.

"Sheriff I can assure you, whatever your friend has told you, I would I no way threaten the safety of this wonderful town we live in."

"I doubt that very much," he snarls, "now get up before I lose my patience!"

"Yes... Sheriff," he says through his teeth. Burke gets out of his chair and I lower my gun.

"Daddy!"

"Son?" Lucas gasps, turning to him. I hear a quick "whip" and I see Burke draw his gun at the corner of my eye.

Without hesitating I point and shoot. Lucas turns just in time to see Burke collapse onto the floor, bits of his skull and brains all over the floor and wall.

"Oh god," I drop the gun, "oh god oh god!"

"Y-you just saved my life," Lucas gasps.

I look up at him, terrified, "I- I just KILLED a man!"

"It had to be done," Harden, Lucas' son says, looking up at me, "he had to die."

It's a sad day when a kid half my size has more bravery than me.

"Here," Lucas says, shoving a key into my hand, "take this. It's a key to the house to the left of the gate. It's yours. Go home, wash your face and rest. I'm proud of you kid, you saved my life when you had no reason to. You've earned both the house and my trust, though the latter goes without saying. I thought you were WORKING with the son of a bitch! Ha! You just killed Tenpenny's second in command!

"What happened?" Amata gasps as I stumble into the Clinic, "why do you have blood on you?"

"I shot a man," I sniff, "Burke... the guy with the detonator... I shot him right in the face... I saved Lucas' life, and it was more than worth it, he has a son. I just... oh god..."

"Let's get you guys to the house..." Church trails off.

The second we get to the house Church takes one look at me and excuses himself to leave. I walk upstairs, eyes swimming in tears and collapse on the bed before I burst into tears. I feel the bed dip beside me and Amata strokes my hair, "Shh..." she soothes, "it's going to be OK."

I struggle to keep myself in control and eventually pull back my tears.

"Don't hold it back Winter," she whispers.

The second I wake up the next morning I roll over and see Amata asleep beside me. I hear the door knock that woke me up previously, "Just a second!" I wash my face with some funny smelling water and open it.

"Hi." an old man smiles, "ready to work?"

"Who are you?"

"Walter. I work for the water processing plant."

"The what?"

"Water processing plant," he says loudly and slowly, "Lucas told me you were looking for work to pay off the debt."

"Huh? Oh!" I gasp, "yeah, I did tell him that. What time is it?"

"5AM. Get dressed into clothes you don't mind getting dirty in and meet me outside when you're ready."

Working with Walter was... interesting, but it kept me busy. He pushed my skills and patience hard the entire day, getting me to run around town and fix minor faults in the pipe lines and fill bottles with water. The entire time I was working I completely forgot about yesterday, and it was only when I returned home I realized what was going on. I didn't cry, hell I wasn't upset, just nervous. The pit of my stomach told me that this wouldn't be the last time I'd hard to fire a gun and kill somebody, in fact, I could see myself doing it a lot. However, because I got to know that fact, it certainly meant I didn't have to accept it right away. I deactivated the bomb when he let me go for the day in front of a crowd. When all I had left was to push a button, I lifted up a little kid Maddie, who was around 7. We pushed the button together and a loud click and a fading hum was heard. Everybody cheered and I high fived her when she climbed off my shoulders.

"You did it," Lucas gasped, "I'll be damned..."

I smile, "Yeah. I did."

Amata kept herself busy during the day as well, working with Doc Church and treating patients. She arrived at home before me and laughed at my expression, "You look like shit!" she smirks.

I collapse onto the ugly green couch and flip her off, before jolting upright.

"What?"

"Nothing. Forgot something," I gasp, running out of the door. I sprint towards the "shooting range", for lack of better word and lean against the wall, panting hard.

My fingers tremble as I hold the Holodisk in my hands, it takes almost five minutes before I slide it in and hit play.

"Hello darling," his voice whispers out of the speakers, "by now you've probably found out about what I've done, and I'm sorry I couldn't tell you myself, but I didn't see any other way besides this. I know how stubborn you are and I know I couldn't get you to stay. Now listen, I know that you might be angry, and you definately won't understand. I can only say that this is what I really need to do. You're happy here, you have Susie and you both are in love, you said it yourself, you don't need me anymore. I want you to stay here, you're safe and I know that you were thinking of breaking out before me. Just trust me, life out there is not the adventure you think it is. Don't follow me sweetheart, please. I will always love you my beautiful angel, goodbye. I love you."

The Holotape ends and my eye twitches, "You son of a bitch..." I growl, "you SON OF A BITCH!"

I rip out the Holotape and slam it underneath my boot, "Fuck you!" I scream, "fuck you! Fuck you!"

I hurl the casing against the wall of the shack and spit on the remains. "No answers, not a SINGLE fucking explanation from you!" I shout at the Holodisk.

I storm back home and collapse onto the bed, too tired to bother crying.

...

Yeah so... shit. Apparently MA stories aren't really welcomed on here, but meh. Frankly I think it's a pile of crap. As someone who plays Fallout, I think we don't need to be shielded by "bad words", sex, drugs and violence. Anyways, I'm still going to be posting a chapter a day so don't think I'm pussying out.

Leave a review if you wanna and I'll see you guys tomorrow.


	7. Springvale Elementary School

Two weeks later

"Hey! It's the kid!" Gob cheers.

I walk into the bar and everyone raises their glasses, cheering. Voices yell stuff along the lines of free drinks, something I'm VERY interested in.

"What's this about?" I frown, sitting up on a stool.

"You killed the bastard who wanted to blow this shit hole up AND you disarmed the bomb. That means a free drink in my book." Gob laughs.

I grin and drum my fingers on the wood on the bench, "What can I get you kid?" Gob asks me.

"Um... Nuka Cola with rum."

"Ooh miss fancy pants," he laughs.

"What?" I scoff, "Try it."

He pours the drink and holds it in front of his face.

"What?" I frown.

"You mind if I take a sip?"

I flick my wrist at him, "Go."

He takes a sip and nods, "That isn't bad."

I feel fingertips brush against the sleeve of my shirt and I look up.

"Hey sugar," a woman purrs in my ear.

"Hi," I smile.

"I've heard about you," she smiles, lifting my chin up with her index finger, "you're a troublemaker aren't you?"

"Depends on the people I want to piss off," I smirk.

"My name's Nova," I swear she's HAD to have worked hard for years to get a voice as sexy as that, "I assume "the kid" isn't your real name?"

"Winter."

"Hmm, sexy name for a sexy girl." she runs a hand through my hair and fingers it, making me purr.

"You look so tense," she smiles.

I open my mouth to say something but she puts a finger to my lips, "I have a room..." she whispers. I smirk and gently bite her fingernail and she giggles, "Oh... a feisty one."

I follow her up to her room and she shuts the door. She kisses my lips hungrily and tangles her fingers in my hair.

"Here," she hands me a metal inhaler that looks like what Dad used to prescribe to Stanley.

"I don't have asthma," I frown.

"Oh so naive," she rolls her eyes and puts the inhaler in my mouth and pushes a button, "breathe in."

I do what she says and it's like an instant explosion of bliss. I tilt my head back and close my eyes, "Jesus christ...!"

"Good girl," she purrs, pushing me on the bed.

"What was that?" I giggle.

"Jet, for big kids." she smiles, "just relax now, let me do the work."

...

I walk downstairs and sit down at the bar stool.

"I'm sorry the radio's a signal fault," I say to Gob, "I know the station means a lot to you."

He shakes his head, "Not your fault kid."

"How old ARE you anyway? You don't look much older than me."

Gob bursts out laughing, "You don't know much about Ghouls do you?"

"...No..." I trail off.

"I'm 227 years old."

"Wow!" I gasp, "woah!"

"Oh stop it,"

"Sorry it... just something I didn't expect," I chuckle.

"Hey kid it's-"

"Gob!" a voice roars, "stop talking to the customers and start cleaning the dishes!"

"I've gotta go kid." he sighs.

"She's a wild one ain't she?" an Irish accent chirps in front of me.

I look up and see an old man in his 50's leaning against the bar, with snow white hair and a beard, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh please, don't patronize me. I know the look, you've been in bed with her and don't try to deny it. Anyway, it's good to see you again kiddo. It's been a while."

I frown as I watch Gob clean sadly, "I don't think we've met before."

"Ah! I suppose you WERE too young to remember. Your father never told you about me did he?" he scoffs, "suppose I'm not exactly the type you'd tell your kids about. Colin Moriarty at your service."

"Did you live in the Vault at some point?!" I gasp.

He bursts out laughing, "That kindergarten center?! Hell no!"

"Then how do you know me?"

"Ah your father carried you in here when you were just a baby without a teet to suck on. Something about finding the Vault. Guess he did."

"I don't know what Chems you're on old man, but I was born in that Vault."

"Ha! Is that what he told you?! No my dear, you were born out here, a home grown product of the Capital Wasteland! Though you don't have an extra finger which is always good."

I look at my hands and laugh, "You're funny old man."

"Aye I don't lie. Your father James walked in here a few weeks ago blabbering on and on about you and how he had to leave you behind. What would Daddy think when he finds out his little angel's been banging prostitutes?"

"Where is he?" I ask, "where did he go?!"

"Woah easy sweetheart! Nova was right you ARE an angry one!"

"Tell me where he is now so I can fucking kill him!" I yell, grabbing his jacket and shoving him towards me.

"Said something about Galaxy News Radio." he says with a smirk on his face.

"Thank you for your cooperation," I growl, dropping him.

"Lucas!" I yell, "where can I find Galaxy News?"

"Woah what's the hurry?"

"My Dad might be there, I need to find him."

"Woah you're definately not ready to go out there!"

"I need to find him!" I say, "he- he lied to me..."

"Hey kid I'm sorry," he puts a hand on my shoulder, "j-just... I don't know, leave it a month? What if you get shot in your right arm and Amata goes out there with the experience she has now?"

"Time is a luxury I don't have Lucas!"

He frowns, "I have an idea. You know Springvale?"

"Yeah, first town we stumbled upon."

"Right. Well Springvale had a school that a local band of raiders are causing some shit in. How about this, you help us clear it out, I'll give you pick of any two guns EACH for you both, food, water and enough ammo to take down an army."

"Deal."

"It isn't that hard," I complain.

"Don't start with me Winter," Amata tuts, firing and missing.

"Have you tried with your other hand? Remember Butch writes with his left hand and throws with his right."

"Butch can write?"

I laugh and nod at her right hand. She changes hands and fires, smacking into the can, "Wow." she gasps.

"Good job. Keep practicing!"

"Are we really going to do this?" she asks, "going out there on our own I mean..."

"Guess so. Don't you think it's a good idea?"

"Of course I don't. From what I've heard this is the safest place to be."

"I can't just sit around and do nothing. I need him alive. You said you'd support me with this."

"YOU need to pick an emotion about this!" she snaps, "first you're fixing to kill him, now you're pulling all the stops to make sure he's alive!"

"I need answers from him!"

"The answers probably won't be worth marching through a fucking death zone Winter!" she yells back, "if you're going to let this control you we're going to end up dead in some ditch somewhere chasing dead ends!"

"Then what do you propose we do?!"

"We'll send mercenaries or something!"

"We don't have the money, the time, or the breathing room. Amata I need to know if you have my back with this!"

"You know I have your back with anything you do Winter. Don't pretend for one MINUTE that you don't know I'd go to the ends of the earth for you in a heartbeat, but I don't want you taking me there."

"I didn't take you there, my Dad did." I sigh.

"You know what I mean!"

"Just trust me!"

"But you don't know what you're doing! I don't want you charging into a building that you THINK has your father in it and getting yourself killed!"

"This is going nowhere." I sigh, "just- let's go home and get some sleep. We need rest."

3 weeks later

I hear a knock on my door as I buckle my holster.

"Amata can you get that?" I yell, filling some clips with bullets from other half-used clips we used in training.

"It's Lucas," she yells back.

"You ready kid?" he asks when I walk downstairs.

"Best I can be," I shrug.

"Amata?"

"What she said," she tries to act confident but it comes off as a nervous laugh. She slept in my bed with me last night but we lay awake most of the time, staring at the metal ceiling, both of us keeping quiet in the long shot the other had dozed off for a few minutes.

"Get your guns, this will only take a few hours if we're calm and collected. Just follow my lead."

We walk into the dirt by the gate, 15 people with guns and armor are standing around, looking WAY calmer than we are.

"How come we don't get armor?" I protest.

"Because there isn't enough to go around. Besides, these guys don't have me watching their backs, you two do. Let's go."

"OK. Snipers listen up, two on the second balcony, three on the third." Lucas whispers.

"Rodger that," a woman nods, crouching with three others with rifles and sneaking off.

"OK listen up," he whispers, "the best plan is to get them confused and panicked. These guys are raiders, their egos and confidence are their main weakness. Amata, Winter, your job is to watch each other's backs. Kill as many as you can, but your main job is to not get hurt." he looks at the other... I don't know what to call them. They aren't soldiers they're people who have homes they want to defend.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Lucas asks.

"Now?"

"Yes now."

He pulls me aside, "You listen to me and you listen good. You aren't allowed to be scared right now. It isn't an option. It makes you look soft and an easy target. I need you to look strong and calm OK? Amata hasn't got the experience you have and she's looking to you for support, you sitting there looking like a ghost isn't helping at all. Got that?"

"Yeah." I nod, "I got you."

"Alright people! On my mark."

"Yes sir!"

"...Go!"

"Go go go go!" Lucas yells as the snipers open fire, "Into the building!"

I charge into the building and shove the door open. A man looks at me, "shit!" he yells, reaching for his gun. I shoot him five times in the chest with my pistol.

"Good shot keep moving!" Lucas shouts.

I shake away the panic and fear and keep moving along the hallways.

"Go go go!" Raiders shout.

"Stay on me Amata," I call, peering into corridors.

I fire down the hallway and the bullet lands on a raider's arm. He drops his gun and Amata shoots him in the chest.

"Nice shot!" I yell, grabbing his gun and shooting at two raiders around the corner.

"Grenade!" someone screams. I see a small black ball and I spin around and tackle Amata to the ground.

"Ow!" she yells.

The explosion makes my ears ring and my vision blur.

"You OK?" Amata gasps.

"I'm OK. You?"

"I'm fine."

I get up and reload my gun.

"You guys ready?" Lucas says, "we're going to raid the basement."

"Yeah we're ready." I nod.

The second I open the door I'm hit with the worst smell I've ever smelt in my entire life.

"Jesus! What is that?" I cough, turning on the flashlight lying on the floor.

"I've got your back," I hear Amata whisper, hand on my shoulder. I lift up the collar of my shirt and cover my nose and mouth as I walk down the corridor.

I hear a few gunshots and I suck behind the corridor. Lucas looks back and holds up two fingers and makes a walking motion. Two men with shotguns creep along the floor, using my flashlight as a guide.

"Oh my god... Lucas?" one coughs, "I think I found the... I found the source of the smell."

I walk toward them and immediately turn around and hold back the wave of vomit charging up my throat.

"Don't!" I gasp, grabbing Amata's bicep, "D-don't look in there!"

Men, women and children, either tied or nailed to the wall with their heads decaptitated. I walk in, dizzy from the smell. A gang of raiders lie with bullets in their foreheads and what I can guess is their leader lying in front of him with a gun in his hand.

"You're doing great." Lucas nods, "though the next part isn't exactly fun."

"What's more fun than this?" I cough.

"Well we have plans to set this place up as a jail or a field hospital for the Brotherhood... and they want the place cleared if we're going to do a deal. We need to get this place scrubbed up as much as we can, we'll get some able bodies to bury the victims, then we burn the rest."

"Did we lose anybody?"

"No, not a soul. Moira's coming Dow-"

"Moira!" Amata sighs, clicking her fingers, "THAT's who I was thinking of-"

Lucas and I both give her a dirty look and she shuts up.

"MOIRA will bring a team with buckets and mops to clean the blood. You two's job is to scavenge any supplies you can find. Got it?"

"We can do that." I nod.

"You both did really well, you might have a fighting chance there after all."

"You didn't have to shout Moira's name in victory when you we were staring at dead children." I tut, carrying five assault rifles to the growing pile in the entrance.

"I'm sorry!" she whines, "I feel horrible!"

"It's fine. You feeling OK?"

"Yeah... I just... why did you tackle me?"

I frown, "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you could have died?"

"Ugh..." I roll my eyes and walk back to get some more bodies.

"My flashlight please?" I hold my hand out to the guy who took my flashlight.

"You did good today," he smiles, shoving it into my hand, "real good kid."

At around 4PM Lucas calls me outside.

"OK, I'm confident you guys can handle yourselves now, I'd worry a little less. You can keep your house as a base and you'll always be welcome here. Come see me when you're ready and we'll get you guys suited up. Give me your Pip-boy."

I hold my wrist out to him and he presses some buttons, bringing up my map.

"You want to take this metro station along here... then hit past Chevy Chase, past the building. Some Brotherhood soldiers will be there, just ask to speak with Three Dog, if that's where your Dad was at that's your only good lead."

"Thank you Lucas," I shake his hand.

"Don't mention it. Be careful, and don't be a stranger. Keep each other alive you hear?"

"Yeah."

We walk back to Megaton and I collapse onto the couch, kicking off my boots.

"Ugh! Rule number one, broken!" Amata gasps, covering her nose, "Boots go outside!"

I poke my tongue out at her and throw them out the door, "I'm starving."

"Is that your way of saying 'Amata make me some food'?"

"Yes. Yes it is."

"Then why don't YOU cook something dipshit?" she smirks, ruffling my hair and laughing at the cloud of dust and grime coming from it.

"Because you know I can't cook. Noodles would be great, thank you."

"I'm gonna spit in your noodles," she laughs.

After dinner and a quick wash, we both collapse into bed. I pass out the second my head hits the pillow.


	8. Galaxy News Radio

"Oh for fuck's sake!"

"Ow!" I yelp, jolting awake and clutching my stomach, "what the fuck was that?!"

"I've tried waking you up FIVE times! I have NO clue how anyone can sleep like you do!"

"So?! It doesn't mean you slap my stomach!" I protest.

She laughs, "Come on dipshit. Don't be a baby. Breakfast's ready."

"My morning hasn't been so great so far." I cough, "thanks for that."

"It's 12 in the afternoon, you've slept long enough. I don't know how I woke you up that night... sorry."

I give her a look and she smiles sheepishly, scratching the back of her head. The Vault's still a sore subject to me more than it is to her, and I avoid talking about it as much as possible.

"So, are we leaving today?"

I'd decided to put of Galaxy News for a few days. While it was only a half day walk, I still wanted Amata to have a few more days of training before we set off.

"Yeah, I think we're as ready as we can be." I nod, "ready?"

"Yeah." she smiles, "I'm ready."

I finish breakfast and I leave Amata to pack food and water.

"Lucas?" I say, "it's time."

He sighs and nods toward the armory, "Come on."

I follow him up the hill, "What's wrong?" I ask him as he sighs again.

"Nothing," he shakes his head and unlocks the door. I walk in and immediately grab a holster for Amata and stuff a 10MM inside.

"What would you recommend?" I ask, gazing at the racks lined with weapons and ammo.

"For you, I'd recommend a hunting rifle. You're an accurate shot and you won't waste ammo. Amata on the other hand, tends to be less accurate." he hands me an Assault rifle, "Remember to repair these as much as you can."

"You got it," I nod, picking up a holster for a rifle, clipping it on to my back, and sliding the rifle into it.

"I'll be back soon," I promise him, shaking his hand.

"You'd better." he chuckles, before gasping, "FUCK! I almost forgot! Follow me!"

"What?"

He takes me to the Craterside Supply and opens the door, "Moira! Are they ready?!"

"You bet they are!" she grins.

"Oh... my god," I gasp, sticking my head inside the store.

"Two nicely armored Vault 101 suits! Just enough to remind you two of home and still keep you both safe!"

"Where did you get them?" I grin, examining the suit, "Did you break into my house?"

She laughs, "Lord no, wouldn't dream of it. From another expedition a few years ago."

I shrug off feelings of ignorance and anger regarding the secret expedition and instead smile, "Thank you, so much. They... this means a lot to us."

"If you ever need anything, anything at all, you know where we are."

He smacks a small pouch into my hand and I open it.

"No." I say, pushing it back, "I can't take money from you."

"You'll need it. It's important."

I hug him and Moira, "Thank you. Keep everything under control until I get back OK?"

"You got it," he laughs.

...

"God I miss air conditioning," Amata pants.

"Are you seriously complaining already? We've only been walking an hour." I sigh.

"Mmm I remember ice cold Nuka Colas after a baseball game." she smiles.

I roll my eyes and ignore her, keeping my gaze fixed on the horizon ahead of us.

"Ow!" she yelps, slapping her neck, "something stung me!"

I turn my head and see an insect about the size of a basket ball. I shoot it with my pistol and it lets out a high pitched shrill.

"Yah!" I gasp, covering my ears.

"Damn!" she gasps.

"... We should keep moving." I sigh.

"How far are we?"

"I don't know, maybe half an hour to the metro if we hurry. We need to get to GNR by sunset, see if we can find somewhere to sleep afterwards."

"Sounds like a plan... Winter?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you sleep with Nova?"

"This really isn't the time to talk," I sigh, "I need to concentrate."

"Whatever..."

After around 2 hours of walking I point to a set of steps beside a large river. I stuff my pistol into my bag and dive into the river.

"Wait-" she looks sheepish.

"Oh are you serious?!" I groan.

"I never learnt OK? You don't have to sound so angry!"

I DID explain why I never saw her in the pool back in the Vault, I just figured it was because of her "insecurities" regarding her weight. Pft, she's barely 120 pounds.

"Can we go around?"

"No, time is precious... OK. Just- grab a hold of my back holster and kick your legs. Keep your head above the water too."

"OK."

We manage to get across the river and she shivers, "That was disgusting!"

I ignore her, again, and walk up to the streets. I turn my head and see the entrance to the metros.

"You ready?" I ask, turning on my flashlight.

"Yeah." she nods.

I pull on the doors and walk in. The whole place smells like a damp, dusty sewer.

"Stay on me," I whisper, glancing over my shoulder when I see her lagging behind.

"Here," she points at the map that's hung up in the metro, "we take the blue line."

I point the light at the map, "No we take the green."

She rolls her eyes and drags her finger along the lines, "We're here, we need to be at Chevy Chase."

"If we take the green line halfway then we'll be there in half the time."

"Ugh! We take the blue line!" she objects.

"Stop being stubborn!" I argue.

"YOU'RE the one disagreeing with me!" she yells back.

"Yeah well you always had a shit sense of direction,"

"What did you just say-"

We hear a loud hiss and growl and I spin around, "What the fuck- oh shit, you scared me for a second there mate."

"Mate?" Amata tuts.

"Shut up and leave my accent alone." I growl, before turning to the Ghoul, "Listen, we're friendly, just passing through alright?"

He tilts his head back and roars, kinda a raspy cough more than a roar, before charging toward me.

"Shit!" I gasp, stumbling for my gun, "S-back off!"

He keeps charging and I fire, "Gah!" I gasp, "Jesus!"

"... fucking hell…"

"... Blue line?" I stumble, looking back at her.

"Sure."

"My god..." I hold my sleeve over my mouth as I look at skeletons lying along the stations.

"We lived a very sheltered life Winter Daniels," Amata sighs.

"Yeah," I cough, before dropping down onto the rails and splashing into mud and water.

"What are you doing?"

"What?" I frown.

"I'm not going down there."

"Oh for fuck's sake. What did you think the blue line is?"

"Are you serious? You're covered in crap already."

I grab her wrist and pull her into the tunnel with me.

"Winter!" she squeals, "you bitch!"

"There we go!" I laugh as I keep walking.

"Not EVERYONE's dirty like you."

I grin over my shoulder at her and wink, jerking my hips.

"Oh shut the fuck up!"

"So?"

"So what?" I frown.

"Did you sleep with Nova?"

"Amata..." I sigh.

"Winter," she scowls.

"I'm 19 years old and we're walking down a metro with god knows what in here. Do we really need to do this now? Why do you even care?"

"I don't. Do what you want- shit!"

I spin around and Amata screams. It's... I don't know that it is. It LOOKS human, but it has yellow skin and towers over both of us, with veins bulging everywhere with only shorts on and a plank of wood in his hand. He raises it and moves to swing it against Amata's head.

"Get away from her!" I yell, shoving her away from him and sending her crashing into the mud and water. I rip out my gun and aim at his face and fire twice.

"No!" he cries out as he crashes onto the mud. I rip out my knife and stab his chest repeatedly, twisting and aiming for his heart. Blood pours onto my hands and clothes and I keep stabbing.

"Stop!" Amata sobs, pulling me away, "stop! Please!"

I break away and gasp for air, completely out of breath.

"Are... are you OK?" I pant, looking up at her.

Tears pour down Amata's eyes and I pull her into a hug, herself not seeming to care she was getting blood on her suit.

"Come on," I whisper, "I can see the exit from here."

A bright light hits us after spending hours in the dark metro. I look to my left and spot two buildings next to each other with a destroyed garden between them.

"Come on, I know where we're-"

A gunshot rips through the air and I shove Amata towards a destroyed car.

"Muties!" a voice shouts.

"Stay here!" I shout above gunfire, "don't move!"

I grab my rifle and peek above the car and spot some of the yellow... things shooting at some Brotherhood members. I know they're Brotherhood because there were a few recruitment posters around Megaton, some guys dressed like robots in steel armor. I shoot at some of the yellow guys.

"Fuck!" I swear as I miss, "god damn you'd think I'd be able to hit a target that fucking big!"

Bullets skim across the car and come close to hitting me a few times.

"Lyons' Pride bitches!" someone shouts as they mow down the others.

There's silence for a while, before someone shouts, "People under the car! Drop your weapons and put your hands up!"

I look at Amata, who looks terrified.

"Listen to me," I say, grabbing her arm and staring into her eyes, "we're going to be OK. Just drop your gun Amata, it's gonna be alright."

She nods and drops her weapon and stands up.

"We're friendly! We promise!" I say, raising my hands, "we don't want any trouble!"

"Walk slowly toward us! Now!"

"No problem," I stay calm for both Amata and I's sake.

"My god you're filthy," a woman with blonde hair gasps.

"We're looking for Galaxy News Radio, I'm looking for my father. That's it, I promise."

"Ah, you must be Winter."

"Yeah. Where is he?"

"I don't know. I'm a soldier not a fucking missing persons rep."

"You don't have to be a bitch about it," I snarl.

"Excuse me we're in a warzone. Forgive me if your daddy problems aren't at the top of my list of priorities."

"Hey fuck you blondie!"

"Don't test me Vault runt!"

"Hey!" Amata shouts, "settle down!"

"OK listen, we're going to clear out some mutants on the way to GNR. If you help us you'll be let in. Under supervision of course."

I roll my eyes and Amata whacks my shoulder and goes back to get our weapons.

"Just follow me. I'm Sarah by the way."

We walk down and alleyway and a group of soldiers are already engaging. One soldier, a girl who looks around 17, starts to engage in two freaks. She takes the first one down, but another shoots her in the stomach and she collapses to the ground, moaning in pain.

"Go get her!" I shout, "what are you waiting for?!"

"She's lost, the area's too thick!"

"Oh for fuck's sake..." I groan, shoving my gun into Amata's hands, "cover me."

"Shit! What the hell are you doing?!" Amata and Sarah both cry as I sprint after her.

"Hey! Mother fuckers!" I yell, firing into the air, "over here!"

Any freaks that were shooting at the wounded now look at me. I shoot and badly wound three, kicking another one out of the way and stabbing him in the face when he hits the ground. Two are holed up in the building and I shoot five times, three times missing, twice hitting either their necks or their heads.

"Shit!" I yell as a bullet lands inches from my feet. I dart and dive for a car.

I spot a grenade on the wounded's belt.

"Give me a grenade!" I shout above the gunfire.

She hastialy and unthinkingly pulls the pin and throws it at me.

"What the fuck?!" I yell, frantically grabbing the grenade and hurling it as hard as I possibly can at the building. It smashes into the building and creates a cloud of dust from the rubble. I use the camouflage to change my position and fire five bullets to each window the freaks were firing from, confident I'd killed them.

"W-what are you doing?" she gasps.

"Saving your life, now shut up and move your legs."

"You're gonna get killed!"

"Shut up and move!" I laugh, hoisting her up and sprinting towards the cover the soldiers were firing from.

"There!" I yell, dropping her onto a mattress, "that wasn't so hard now was it?"

Sarah shakes her head and keeps firing, "Civilians..." she mutters.

Hands grab me and slam me against the wall, "Are you INSANE?!" Amata screams, "Don't EVER do that again! Do you understand?! NEVER AGAIN!"

"Not now Amata! We don't have time for your shit right now!" I yell back, only just now realizing I was grinning. That, was probably the most fun I had ever had since we left the Vault. It was FUN! Running around, shooting stuff and... being the hero. That was probably the stupidest thing my brain had ever done, and I feeding off being the hero that saved the kid. I feel like a pretentious fuckwad. I wipe the grin off my face and help provide fire to the freaks.

We comb through the building pretty easily. Freaks are strong, but they're stupid. It's easy to flank them and I just follow someone around and they tell me what to do. I leave Amata with the casualty and we make it to the court yard. 15 minutes of exchanging gunfire later 5 dead freaks lie together in a fire pit.

"That was probably the most dangerous thing I've ever done," I sigh.

"Damn right!" Sarah laughs, "let me tell you kid, no casualty is worth another casualty. Got that?"

"I guess..."

"Think about that before you go charging into battlefields. People tend to turn up dead." another soldier tuts.

"Does this mean I can see Three Dog now?"

"Yeah you can go up now-"

I hear a loud screeching noise then a thump.

"Get back," Sarah says quickly, shoving me behind her.

"Why?" I frown.

"Just do it, hide." she says, "Pride! Get ready to kick some ass!"

"What? No!"

The bus parked as a barrier to the right side of the building suddenly explodes. The force of the explosion sends me flying back and my head bangs against the cement of the garden walls. My vision goes blurry and I see a massive shadow ahead of me. My body's too tired to move and I fight to get everything together again.

"Come on kid!" I growl, standing up on wobbly legs, before a huge weight falls on me. A dead soldier was lying on the perimeter and had fallen ontop of me when I reached my hand up to stand. The power armor every soldier wears weighs 45 pounds alone. I can't push him off me and my vision snaps into focus.

It's a freak, but easily 9 times my size. He doesn't have a neck, and carries a street lamp with a red thing attached to it.

"Fuck!" I gasp, arms grasping the perimeter to stand up. My fingers brush against something metal and cold, and I grab it. It's heavy, but the metal's too smooth for it to be another soldier.

"What the fuck is this thing?" I groan. It's got a rad counter on the side and I frown as I look in the barrel and stare at a miniature atomic weapon.

"Sarah!" I scream, pointing it at the giant freak, "fall back."

Sarah looks back at me and nods, "Lyons' Pride! Fall back!"

They retreat and I fire. A shockwave of heat hits me as the nuke detonates on the freak's head. I cough and lie back as the freak collapses onto the ground, and that's the last thing I see before everything goes black.

...

"Hey kid? You OK?"

My eyes jolt open and I gasp, "Huh?!"

"Woah relax," he chuckles, "friendly. You took a pretty bad knock on the head kiddo. Name's Three Dog, heard you were looking for me?"

"Where's Amata?"

"She's fine, eating with some soldiers, said I'd keep watch over you while she was gone."

I groan and rub my eyes, "I feel like shit."

He laughs, "And so you should. Don't worry it's nothing serious."

"Whatever. Have you seen my Dad?"

"Ah yes James," he sighs, "I'm afraid he's no longer with us..."

"What?! He's dead?!" I yell, sitting up in a panic.

"No! No no no no no no! That's not what I meant!" he laughs, "No! He's gone to Rivet City for work. Said he'd be safe there."

I nod, "Is there any way I can contact him? Let him know about me?"

"Ha! He probably already knows you're out!" he laughs, "I'm a news reporter kid. When someone disarms an atomic bomb and takes down a Super Mutant Behemoth, it tends to make the news."

"It isn't a smear campaign is it?"

"Ha! No."

"I've been trying to pick you guys up, but the signal keeps-"

"I'm glad you mentioned it." he cuts me off, "care to run an errand for me?"


	9. The Radar Dish

OK, I'll be honest, this chapter was really difficult to write. It was slow and I don't have much of an excuse for it. I'll try to write more often, promise :-)

...

"So you want to go to an ancient museum covered in Super Mutants to get a relay dish so you can listen to a radio station?"

After Amata was done squeezing the life out of me after she had finished dinner, I had time to bring up Three Dogs proposal.

"You don't have to sound so condescending..."

"Well it really isn't the best idea-"

"I think it's a fantastic idea," I cut her off, "it'll give us time to train and we'll get some experience."

"I agree with Amata this is pretty dangerous." Sarah says, leaning against the wall.

"She can stay if she wants to."

"Don't do that," Amata says quickly, shaking her head, "I hate it when you do that."

"I'm going OK? If you're worried then you don't have to go."

Amata sighs and buries her face in her hands.

"... I'll leave you two alone."

I look up at Amata from where I am lying on the bed, "Listen to me." I say, reaching out and stroking her hand with my thumb, "this is our life now. We can't change that. We can't go home, we can't see our friends and family. I need to be strong here Amata, I need to be, to protect you. No one else matters here. I could care less about my father, but you're scared, and y'know what? That's OK. You're my best friend and no matter where I came from nothing can change that. I need to train, to fight. We won't survive if we don't fight."

Amata sighs and kisses my cheek and mumbles against my ear, "You're gonna get yourself killed."

"No I won't," I smile, "I'm stubborn, remember? Look, the battle didn't kill me, I just have a headache."

She laughs and touches my bandages gently, "Get some sleep."

I stir awake and yawn, sitting up and stretching my arms out, I turn my head and see Sarah staring at me from her chair.

"Shit!" I gasp.

"Relax, I just thought you'd stopped breathing."

I frown and sit up, "Where's Amata?"

She points at me and I look behind my shoulder, she's fast asleep next to me, curled around the blanket and only leaving a slither for me.

"You going to that museum today?"

"Probably yeah." I nod, "should only take us a few hours."

She nods and leaves me alone with Amata.

"Winter." I hear Amata mumble.

"Yeah?" I yawn.

She doesn't respond, instead she rolls over onto her back and her fingers wrap around the fabric of my jacket.

I sigh and gently take her hand away.

"Sarah?" I say, walking in with my bag, "can you do me a favor please?... How long are you here?"

"We're holding down the fort for two days, making sure everything's settled down. Why?"

"Do me a favor..." I whisper, "keep Amata in the building. I'll be back soon."

"You're going alone?!"

"I have to. I'll be back."

"I hope for Amata's sake that you will be."

I walk outside and start walking for the location that Three Dog programmed onto my Pip-boy. As I walk around DC, sticking to the shadows and always with one eye over my shoulder, I feel a strange sense of eerie peace. I don't let my guard down though.

"I am Alpha and Omega..." I trail off, looking up at destroyed skyscrapers, some hanging on by their foundations alone. God I was so sick of that verse. Dad was always saying it every night for family prayer. I was always skeptical of religion, even though when I was young I was scared I would make mom angry. Now that I'm out of the Vault, in this pathetic excuse of a world, I'm certain a god couldn't possibly exist, he can't. IF he does, he's either a lazy or sadistic son of a virgin.

"Just follow the Washington Monument," I tell myself, climbing over a pile of rubble, "200 years and they didn't bother to clean up a bit?"

I glance down at my Pip-boy and hesitantly hit Data and click onto radio. Galaxy News comes up as an option and I enter it in. Gentle music streams from the speakers and I allow myself a small smile. The Ink Drops, heh! Guess old holotapes of them still hang around here if they're being played on a radio station. I used to listen to this song constantly with... Susie.

I frown as I slide down an old highway sign. I feel bad that I haven't really thought about her that much since I left the Vault. It seemed ridiculous for me to consider my relationship problems for a moment when I remembered my time with Nova and whether or not it would be considered cheating. I don't even know if I really loved her.

"Ugh!" I groan, "stop it you idiot, stay focused...!"

I see the Monument as I turn another corner, a heavyish feeling in my heart. I hold my pistol in my right hand and my left ready to fling itself for the rifle on my back. I look around carefully, examining every building and every window, looking for enemies. I need binoculars bad, my eyes can only see so much when they're naked.

I jog to the metro station and climb up the lamppost. Ha! And Amata said my tree climbing bullshit was a waste of time. I see a line of trenches and swear, "Fuck..." I grunt, sliding down the lamppost and ducking behind a building. Probably 7 or 8 Super Mutants were wandering around the trenches, carrying guns.

"OK... OK..." I take a deep breath and look around. I see the museum around 50 meters away, "alright. 50 steps, that's all you need to do..." I whisper to myself.

I decide to run as fast as I can. My feet pound hard against the destroyed pavement and the heavy equipment in my bag and my guns don't exactly help my speed. I look to my side and see I haven't alerted them. "Go go go," I whisper, opening the doors to the museum and darting inside.

"Ugh!" I cough, "damn dust..."

I grab my water and take a sip. I walk up to the directory, "I'm guessing radar dishes aren't an isolated exhibit." I mutter, running my finger along the coat of dust and grime that had gathered over the years, "fuck it, might as well explore a bit."

I turn on my light and walk up the stairs.

"Ah shit." I groan, walking up to the first exhibit.

"Welcome to Vault-Tec! You and your family's home, safe from the dangers of the nuclear holocaust." I triumphant yippie voice grins.

I walk through the exhibit, showing happy families, having fun and living the "American dream" the voice over says.

"Someone there?" a gruff, slow voice asks, followed by heavy steps.

My grip tightens around my pistol and a small pang of fear hits me that I try to swallow down. I sip against the corners to the dimly lit hallways of the Vault and a Supet Mutant walks into the room. The second he walks past me I aim and shoot. He lets out a scream of agony that lasts a semi-second. Long enough for a loud stampede to start running towards the shot.

"Fuck!" I whisper. I glance down at the Super Mutant, who's clutching an Assault Rifle. I lunge the the rifle and rip it out from his cold dead hands. I spin around and aim at the entrance.

"Die!" one screams after spotting me. I shoot frantically, almost losing my footing from the force of the kick. I keep firing and don't stop until the magazine runs out and it's only then when I realize I'd been shouting. I just kept seeing yellow, and as I put the gun down I see five to seven bodies lying in the doorway. I take their weapons from them and stuff them in my bag as I pace carefully through them. I vault over the railing and fall down onto the space exhibit.

"Amata would have ate this place up," I smile a bit. She was always the nerd for history.

"Ah." I smile, "there you are."

I climb ontop of the space shuttle thingy, dad was right, I really should have paid more attention in school. I slide off the relay dish and make room for it in my bag.

Walking out to the lobby is danger free, though I stay alert at all times. When I open the door the mutants are too busy with a firefight with some brotherhood soldiers to even care enough to even look at me. The monument is only maybe 100 metres away, and it was a safe run so long as I kept away from the trenches.

"Halt!" someone shouts, guarding the gate with a gun, "what's your purpose here?"

"I'm here to fix the radar dish for GNR." I say, nervous with the gun in near my face.

"Let me see the dish."

I nod and slowly slip the dish out of my bag and hand it to him. He turns it around in his hands and nods, "go up. But we'll be watching."

I walk into the monument and see a door. I try to open it but I groan, "damn shut in doors."

I glance to my left and see a set of buttons, one that points up. I press it and the door opens. I walk into the small closet like thing and press another button. The small space starts rising and I look up at a distant light. I keep rising and eventually I stop moving. The doors open and I walk out.

"Nice view of hell isn't it?"

I gasp and turn around, "Fuck!" I whisper.

A man dressed in overalls turns from the control board. He laugh, "Relax kid, you got the dish?"

I nod and he smirks, "Ha! Good luck! I'm on break! Feel free to fix it yourself."

I roll my eyes and flip him off, "Yeah up yours too buddy."

I look down and notice a tool belt on the floor. I take off my holster and replace it with the tool belt. It's late afternoon so there's still some light. I work for half an hour, replacing the dish and working on the distance the signal can carry.

"And," I flip some switches, "we... are... working..."

I hear a satisfying click and a whirl, "Ah there we go." I smile.

I walk back to GNR just as the sun sets.

"Good luck kid," a soldier laughs as I jog up the stairs.

"Hmm?" I frown.

I walk into the lobby and take a seat.

"Hey! Sarah! The kid's back!"

"What? What happened?" I frown when I see Amata sprinting down the stairs toward me.

"Oh god come here," Amata sobs, flinging herself at me and bursting into tears.

"What's wrong?" I gasp, "hey..."

"You bitch!" she sobs, "I hate you so much! I was so worried!"

I sigh and rub her back, "I'm so sorry..."

She steps away from me and wipes her eyes, "Did you fix the fucking dish?" she laughs, still in a kind of sob.

"I did," I nod.

"She is a pain in the ass to babysit!" Sarah laughs, walking at me, "she almost knocked out a paladin trying to get through the door. She was PISSED. I thought she was going to have a breakdown. Almost took out two paladins too."

I laugh and look at Amata.

"Get that grin off your face," she scowls.

When I open my mouth to say something she shoves her hand over it, "Shut your mouth." she says, fighting back a smile, "you're covered in dirt. Go take a bath."

"Yes ma'am," I say quickly.

I yawn and start to slide off my shirt when the door flings open, "Fuck!" I yell.

"Listen here," Sarah growls, slamming me against the wall, "I don't know the first thing about you, and frankly at the moment I don't care. I swear, if you do that to her again I will make your life a misery."

"Ugh get off me you crazy bitch," I groan, rubbing my scalp from when my head banged against the wall.

"You weren't there here... Think about that before you do something as stupid as that again."

"I know." I sigh.

"But you handled yourself. And I'm at least grateful for that."

"That's better," Amata smiles as I emerge from the bathroom relatively clean.

I walk up to her and hug her tightly, "I'm sorry." I whisper.

"What? What were those words?" she smiles.

"Stop," I sigh, "I know you want to yell at me, so do it."

"I guess I understand why you did it." she sighs, "Doesn't mean I have to accept it."

I nod and touch the dried tears on her cheek, "I don't expect you to."

"You look... different." she frowns.

"Really?"

"Yeah, what happened to your eyes? They look... weird."

I shrug and sit down on a chair. Three Dog walks in with his arms spread, a grin on his face, "The Hero of GNR returns! I got a nice SMOOOOOOTH signal all through the wastes baby!"

"Three Dog do you have to-"

He claps his hands together, "How about an interview?"

"An interview?"

"Yeah. You're pretty my famous for defusing that bomb in Megaton AND you're from a Vault. People will be dying to hear about you!"

"I... um... I'm not really..."

"She'll do it."

"Great! I'll get the equipment set up now!"

I glare at Amata when he walks away and she shrugs with a smile on her face.

"I hate you," I sigh at her, following him.

"Alright kiddies! Three Dog's got a little surprise for you! Fresh from the ruins of Downtown DC with her grubby little hands that work magic with a radar dish, I have with me, the one, the only, well actually one of two, kids from Vault 101! What's your name kiddo?"

"Winter," I say after sipping on some water.

"So, how're you finding life out here in this world we live in?"

"It's different to the Vault that's for sure."

He laughs and drums his fingers against the desk, "What was life like in that Vault of yours? You were born there, must have been a paradise."

"Uh..." I scratch the back of my head, "actually... I wasn't born in the Vault."

"Woah woah WOAH!"

Goddamn why does he have to make a big deal out of everything?

"So you LIVED out here before the Vault?!" he almost yells into the microphone, "where?"

"I really don't know. My father said that I was born in the Vault, but I've met some people who can confirm that it wasn't... that way. I don't know I was only a baby."

"So nobody can possibly get in after you?"

I shake my head, "No. Absolutely not. I'd been wanting to get out for a while when I was younger, the leader of the Vault made it perfectly clear that nobody got in or out."

"Sounds like a Tyrant."

"Now I think about it he sounds like a smart man, unlike my Dad."

"You're looking for your Dad huh?"

"I'm looking for answers." I say firmly, "I could care less about how I get 'em, within reason."

"Don't you LOVE your Dad?"

"To be honest how can I be sure he's my dad?" I shrug, "for all I know my entire life's been a lie so far. Sure he raised me and he did a good job, but how can I know he's my real Dad? This whole time he said the Vault was my home, that he'd make sure I was safe, that he was my father and he would do anything to protect me. Then he leaves and almost gets my friend and I killed, cuts me off from all of my friends and kicks me into this shithole. No offense."

"Wow." he says simply, "you sound... angry."

"I am angry. As I said, I want answers." I scowl, "he left a note, but it didn't explain anything."

"Why didn't you just stay?"

I laugh, "I couldn't! I was either going to be shot dead or thrown into a jail for the rest of my life, most likely death. The only option was leaving."

"Why did Amata leave with you?"

I laugh and open my mouth to respond before a Brotherhood soldier taps on the glass of the door.

"And that's all the time we have for today kiddies. Winter, do you have a request?"

"Ink Spots," I say, getting out of my chair and loading my handgun.

"What's going on?" I frown.

"Woah put the gun away," Sarah gasps, "we just saw the pissed off look on your face and thought that we'd get you out there."

I laugh, "Thank you so much."

"Get some sleep, you look like hell."

I collapse into a bed in the spare room and Amata jolts a little bit.

"You OK bright eyes?" Amata whispers, rolling onto her side and turning to me.

"So... so tired." I mumble.

"Go to sleep then." she smiles, playing with my hair.

I smile slightly and start to feel safe for the first time today. Amata's safe, I'm safe, we're around soldiers and well fed and warm.

"Goodnight bright eyes," she yawns as I close my eyes.

"Night," I yawn.

...

Hopefully this chapter wasn't too horrible. Like I said this was hard to write and I'll try my best to update often. Obviously, this being the holiday season, it'll be hard to update, but I'll give it a whirl. Anyways, leave a review if you wanna and Happy Holidays!


	10. Not Meant for this World

Four months later

"- morning Capital Wasteland! How're we doing this fine morning I-"

I reach over to Amata's wrist and press the button to turn off her alarm. I rub my eyes and sit up, shaking my head and getting dressed. Somehow we gravitated toward sleeping in the same bed together. No funny business of course, every night I had an arm around her waist, particularly when she was upset and homesick.

We'd decided to move back to Megaton for a few months because I really wasn't in the mood to go trudging along the wasteland to Rivet City where my father was working. Lucas was happy to have me back in town, and so was Walter. My days were spent fixing things around Megaton under a blazing sun listening to Galaxy News. Amata and I usually had dinner together at home, seeing as both of us usually were exhausted. Amata spent most of her time teaching kids how to read and write, with varying degrees of success. We both come home, eat, and collapse into bed together.

It's December, getting around Christmas time. People here celebrate it sure, but they don't make a deal out of it.

"What do you want for Christmas?" I ask Amata as I lie on the couch reading.

"Do you think we should celebrate this year?" she frowns.

"Why not?" I laugh incredulously.

"I mean, we're so busy and-"

"Come ON Amata!" I smile, "what do you want for Christmas?"

She steps away from her position on the desk and frowns, "Hmmm... a book."

"A book?"

"Yes Winter a book," she scowls.

"What?" I laugh, "don't get pissy!"

She sighs and looks down, "Can I ask you something?"

"'Course," I shrug.

"Do you... do you still miss home, and Susie?"

"Not so much now, no." I shrug.

"Did you ever like anyone else in the Vault?" she asks.

I sit up and pull on my jacket, "Define 'like'."

"Never mind," she sighs, "... where are you going?"

"Shopping." I smile.

Walter pays me good money to work for him, so when I walk into Craterside Supply, the sound of jingling caps rattle against my hip.

"Morning Winter," Moira smiles.

"Hey Moira," I smile, leaning against the counter, "what do you have in the book department?"

"What do you like?" she drums her fingers against the desk.

"Oh it's not for me, it's for Amata," I sigh, "did you ever see her poking around any books in here?"

"Ugh I wouldn't just get her a book kiddo," Lucas chuckles, walking in, "she'll get pissed off if all you get her is a book."

"Why not? We got each other small things in the Vault."

"Yeah but you guys weren't dating back then."

I laugh, "Huh?"

"Yeah, the second you start dating you have to get her something special."

"We... aren't dating," I frown with a smile on my face.

"Bullshit you aren't dating," he laughs, "you two are all over each other."

"It's OK, no need to be embarrassed," Moira laughs.

"We aren't dating," I laugh, "I promise."

"Something weird," I say, smiling at Amata as she walks in, "Simms and Moira think that we're dating."

"Serious?" she frowns.

"Yeah..." I trail off, smiling.

"I think it's about time we tell them," she smiles, sliding her arms around me and nuzzling my neck.

I smile and gently grasp her wrist.

"Aw aren't you two so cute together."

"She's my cute cuddly little teddy bear," she giggles.

"Stop it now," I groan, pushing her away.

"Oh, I almost forgot, since you both have finished groping eachother, we're going to clear out the super market if you guys wanna come along...?"

I shrug, "I'm game."

Amata walks out with me.

"The hell was that?" I frown, "I was half expecting you to start ripping my clothes off in the middle of the store."

"Relax I was only having a joke. Trust me I've seen you naked before you ain't got nothing there I haven't seen before."

She walks past me and my shocked expression, "The fu... since when have you seen me naked?!"

"Since I walked in on Susie and you fucking like bunny rabbits on your couch."

"Amata!" I yell, following her, "why didn't you say something?!"

She laughs, "You're right, I should have told you about how I watched you fuck each other stupid."

"… are you drunk?"

"Of course I'm not! Why would you THINK that?!"

"Because... I don't know how you did it... but you managed to make my sex life sound... more tawdry than it already was."

We walk back home and I go upstairs to get ready, "Well, you DID sleep with a prostitute."

I cough and slide my gun into my holster.

She grins and watches me walk down the stairs, "Winter. Can I ask you-"

"Not right now," I shake my head, "wait until we clear out the supermarket first."

"It's important."

"Not right now," I repeat.

"Winter-"

"Not right now." I say sternly.

"Winter," Lucas says, "there's small raider activity around here."

"So?" I shrug, holding my hunting rifle, "we'll always be careful."

He nods and leaves, leaving me alone with a weird acting Amata.

"What?" I sigh, looking at her.

"Nothing." she says sharply, pushing past me, "let's just get this over with."

"Jesus fucking Christ." I gasp. We had approached the super market from behind, and turning the corner reveals a nice, fresh horror. Bodies, mostly decapitated and dismembered, are strung up at the entrance to the store.

Amata gags and throws up on the ground from the smell, and I touch her shoulder, "You wanna sit this one out?" I ask.

"No." she coughs, wiping her mouth, "let's do this."

Lucas does his little pep talk to the small group of 5 with us and he nods at me, "Do it."

I kick the door open and shoot one raider who was walking along a shelf.

"What the fuck?!" a raider shouts, springing up from his chair and reaching for his weapon. I yank out my pistol and shoot his chest before he can grab it.

"Move! Establish a flanking position!" Lucas shouts as the rest run into the store.

"Stay on me Amata!" I yell, running down an aisle and grabbing the dead raider's assault rifle, dropping my hunting rifle as I go. I round the corner and open fire on four raiders stumbling with their weapons. The bullets riddle their bodies and they collapse onto the floor.

"Winter! Amata!" Lucas yells, "clear the pharmacy!"

Without bothering to respond I dart over the counter and take cover behind a wall.

"Time to die kiddo!" a raider laughs as I reload my pistol. I spring out of cover and fire twice, killing him and getting shot in the shoulder in the process.

"Winter!" Amata screams.

"Argh!" I groan, clutching my arm and dropping to my knees. I clench my teeth and stand back up, trying to ignore the pain and continue. I was shot in my right arm, my dominant hand, and now I can't move it nearly as fast as I could before.

"Listen to me," I say to Amata, "I need you to take point, I can't aim now."

"I- I- I can't!" she stutters.

"You don't have a choice!" I yell at her, grabbing her shoulder with my left hand, "you can do this. I'll be right behind you the entire time OK?"

She nods and loads her gun.

We burst through the pharmacy door and Amata fires.

"Stop stop stop!" I yell, "nobody's here!"

I check every inch of the pharmacy for raiders and nod. The gunfire eventually stops and Amata and I salvage any medical supplies they bring.

"You'd think that this place'd be clean." I sigh.

"Raiders scavenge. They probably just brought all this stuff back from scavenging missions."

I walk out to Lucas, "Hey... if it isn't too much of a worry... I need to see Church."

He takes one look at my arm and nods, "Go."

Amata comes back from Megaton after Doc has patched me up. The bullet went through this time and I'm resting at home when she walks in, "How're you feeling?"

"Like someone shot me in the shoulder." I chuckle, sipping on some rum Church gave me to numb the pain.

"I'm sorry about the pharmacy..."

"Don't be," I shake my head, "I was hard on you. I never should have yelled."

She smiles softly and nods, "I'm going to go to help Moira at the general store... will you be OK here by yourself?"

I shrug, "I'll just read."

She nods and hugs me, before leaving.

A few hours later I hear the door slam and Amata walks up.

"Winter I really want to ask you something."

I hold back a groan and sigh, I was hoping she'd forgotten about it.

"What's wrong?" I ask, trying my best to sound the opposite of miserable.

She takes a deep breath, "This morning at Craterside... what did you feel?"

"Awkwardness..." I trail off, "why?"

"I... um... I... liked it."

"What do you mean?"

"I liked being that close to you. The last time we were that close you were trying to draw a mustache on my face."

"Amata do you really think that... we're a good idea?" I gesture between us.

"That's what I was driving at."

I sigh and itch my eyebrow, "I don't know..."

"Do you like me?"

"I don't know... I mean- you're my best friend and I adore you, but I'm worried what might happen if we start to.. y'know... date? I don't even know if we can date."

"Why can't we try?"

"Because if something horrible happens to you it'll be a billion times harder to move on," I groan and smack my forehead, "wait that's not what I meant."

She looks down, "Can I just... can I get just one kiss?"

I smile and start chuckling, "Um... wow this happened really fast."

"Oh shush." she smiles, grabbing my chin and pulling me into a kiss.

"Mmph!" I growl, trying to push her away before relaxing slightly. I close my eyes and move my hand to the back of her neck. Her hands move up to the side of my head and a smile crosses both of our faces. I fall against the bed and Amata sits on my waist.

I eventually break away from her and she cuddles into me, "You've no idea how long I've wanted to do that." she laughs, kissing my jawline, and looking up at me, "... well...?"

I enjoyed it, undoubtlingly I adored it. The entire time I felt like I was holding her too tight, stupidly I thought that if I let go she'd go away. Amata means the world to me, I'd rather shoot myself than let anything bad happen to her. All I wanted was to kiss her and spend the rest of the day rolling around in bed together, sharing feelings of love and. If I called her mine, and myself hers, we'd kill ourselves being so protective, more so than we already were.

When I tell her this, she still lies on me.

"'Mata?" I question.

"Shhh," she whispers, closing her eyes.

I stop moving and relax against the bed, "I still care about you..." I whisper, putting a hand on her back, "I always will."

"Winter..." she sighs, "don't leave me behind."

"I never, ever, ever will." I whisper against her neck.

"Winter...? Winter wake up."

I yawn and realize my hands have moved down to her ass. I move my hands away and mumble an apology. Damn reflexes from Susie are hard to shake off, even after 6 months it seems. Damn.

"There's no problem," she smiles, softly kissing me.

"Mmph," I mumble, pushing her away.

"What?"

"I... thought we agreed this was a bad idea...?"

"You kiss so good though..." she teases, leaning in and kissing my lips again.

"Amata!" I groan, pushing her off, "what is up with you?"

"I don't know..." she shakes her head and backing away from me, "I'm sorry... I've gotta go to work."

"Amata wait!" I gasp, running towards her while hopping into a pair of jeans, "just- stop for a second!"

"What?" her voice cracks as she turns to me.

"Come here..." I sigh, standing up and opening my arms. She walks into my arms and hides her crying. I just hold her, I don't open my mouth, I keep it firmly closed.

"I'm going to die alone..." she whispers against my good shoulder.

I don't say anything and Amata keeps crying. I sit down and hug her in my arms as she shakes against me.

"It's OK." I eventually whisper, "I promise everything will be OK."

She decides to sleep in her "room" that night. We usually sleep in the same bed in case she wakes up from a nightmare. Tonight I lie awake for most of the night, gazing at the flickers of stars visible only through the small cracks in our house. I rest the back of one arm behind my head and the other on my stomach and I glance at Amata, who had finally fallen asleep after a few hours of muffled crying.

Over these past few months I had grown to "adapt", for lack of better word, to the world around me. Killing things had became a weekly routine for me, and I was becoming sort of... numb to it. I still lie awake at night, woken up from vivid nightmares of dark, danky metro stalking packs of super mutants and ghouls. This life... I wonder what it's done to me, what it's GOING to do to me.

Knowing I was born out here, in this horrible world... I feel... almost like I belong here. The Vault sounded more like... what it was, a Vault, a safe to keep all the important treasures, or "pure" humans, locked away from threats from the other world. I was a "savage runt" according to the Overseer- or Alphonse as his highest advisors called him. His view of the outside world was blunt, everyone was a savage, uneducated and banging rocks together. Having known who and what I know now I would have laughed in his face.

I look down at my hands and wriggle my ten fingers and look at my legs. I was spared mutation, some people walk around Megaton with an extra few toes and/or fingers. I roll over onto my stomach and smile sadly at Amata. Our future together I honestly couldn't see lasting until a dear old age. We wouldn't be the old ladies drinking tea together in the cafeteria, laughing and boring each other with stories that each of us have heard a million times. The thought of us being anything beyond friends had never crossed my mind. My own mortality is a constant reminder, love, marriage and happiness seemed like a delusion to me now, with anybody much less than with Amata. Death is all around us... and yet I don't care. I don't care for sleep either. Amata on the other hand...

She isn't meant for this world. She was born in the Vault. Amata lived a sheltered life, as much as she resented that. Every bullet she fires is always a call and response. She fires, she stands numb in shock without fail. I don't know what will happen to her if I... go.

I toss and turn for a few more minutes, kicking off my blankets and bashing my pillow to try and make it more comfortable.

The constant heat from the wasteland pounds against the metal and starts to cook me. Memories of me sitting under the heating lights in the Vault to get a "tan" flicker in my mind as I start to panic a bit. Sweat pricks against my neck and along my upper lip, it gets in my hair and I shiver, rolling the legs of my shorts up so they expose more of my skin. I get really uncomfortable, I can't stay still, I'm constantly twitching and flinging myself around the bed. "Fuck it!" I scowl, getting up and walking downstairs. I walk outside with a bucket of somewhat purified water and dump the entire thing ontop of me, soaking myself head to toe. As I walk I ruffle my hair, leaving my hair spiked and difficult to manage. I grab an almost finished bottle of whiskey and walk outside Megaton. I walk past Springvale, completely unarmed, and walk up that damn hill. I open the old wooden door and walk inside the tunnel to the Vault.

"Hey!" I yell, looking up at the security camera, "Alphonse listen to me..! Amata isn't safe here... and I need you to let her back in. Just her, not me! I can leave, I can die out there alone! I'm prepared for that. She isn't meant to be out there. Just- please... can you open the door so we can talk? I'm unarmed... we both want what's best for her..."

I wait, the door doesn't open.

"Goddamit I know you're at that damn desk!" I yell, "your daughter is dying out there you sick son of a bitch!"

I wait... nothing happens.

"Fuck you!" I scream, hurling the glass bottle at the door after I chug its contents down. The glass shatters and shards smack into the skeletons beside me.

I walk back to Megaton and Amata's sitting on the couch, gun in hand and staring at the floor.

"What?" I frown.

Her head jolts up and she gasps, before shaking her head angrily at me and slamming the gun back on the table and going back to bed.

"Don't be mad..." I trail off, watching her leave.

I lie back in bed and look at Amata through both our open doors. She looks over her shoulder and we look at each other for a while, before she gets up and slams the door to her room before locking it.

I sigh and roll onto my back and close my eyes, eventually letting sleep come back to me.

...

Ha! I finally managed to break 3,000 words in a chapter! Alright now the celebrations are aside I'm sorry I couldn't post this yesterday because it was my birthday and I was busy with christmas preparations. Thanks so much to IronCross for putting his or her feedback for every chapter, it was really amazing to see I went from 3 reviews to 10 overnight. Anyways, I'll stop gushing and start work on Chapter 11 before I pass out. See you guys :-)


	11. Merry Christmas

"Y'know..." Amata sighs, walking behind me, "this really isn't what I imagined Christmas Day to be..."

I laugh, "What? No it isn't what I imagined either... but to be honest I imagined worse."

"Like what?"

"Like us walking along this stupid desert and you keeping your mouth shut. Thank you for protecting me from my worst fear."

"I forgot how funny you are." I can almost feel her rolling her eyes, "remind me again. WHY are we going to some stupid look out point?"

"Because Lucas wanted me to map some key points in the area." I say with an unintentionally patronizing tone in my voice.

"We've been walking for two hours! Can we please stop soon! I'm hun-"

I smash the "data" button on my pip-boy and turn on the radio. I'm suddenly thrown on the ground and whacked hard on my arm.

"Ow!" I laugh, rolling onto my back, "Amata stop it! Goddamn I can't breathe!"

She laughs and rolls off of me, "I guess now you'll remember to not be so rude to me."

I get up and dust myself off, scowling at her, "I'm starting to think you just naturally like being ontop of me."

Two weeks had passed since our awkward kiss and since then it still has left a bit of a stain on things. Amata was always a touchy person but when I found out she had feelings for me it got awkward whenever she hugged me. When I scowl at her she shuffles on her feet a but and brushes more dust off of her forearms.

"Come on, it's only half an hour more."

Half an hour of walking later and I hear a gunshot. One gunshot could mean someone got a kill, or a means of communication, but I hear a loud scream pierce the air, followed by a rattle of several guns being fired.

"Let's go-" Amata says, unholstering her gun and starting to run.

"No." I gasp, grabbing her shoulder, "we don't know who they are."

"Stop being neutral for Christ's sake! Be good!" she says, running off to the sounds of agony.

"Oh god..." I sigh, jogging after her. She slips a few times running up a hill with some loose dirt. We run up the hill and cut through a fence into a junkyard.

I spot a raider but I quickly shoot him before he can alert anyone. The firefight is too loud for anyone to hear the stray bullet behind them and I pull his body out of sight before they can see their fallen comrade.

I peer from an old shipping container and spot one man hiding under cover, crying and under fire.

"Amata don't," I whisper, "we can't do anything for him. There's too many."

"Dammit..."

I sigh and turn away as he finally falls after lobbing a final grenade, the explosion killing the rest of the raiders and leaving a red mist of blood in the air, raining on dismembered limbs and torn clothing.

"Woah!" I gasp, a dog charging at me.

"Winter!" Amata yells.

The dog growls and I back off, "Easy..." I say calmly. The dog is barely past being a puppy. He's well fed, his blue and grey fur well groomed and not patched and diseased, though it's still filthy. This isn't a wild, raider dog, this is a dog with a kind master.

"Hey little man," I smile, reaching down and scratching his ear when I notice the shooting has stopped. He stops growling and I smile at him.

"He's gonna bite your boob off I know it." Amata tuts.

"Always encouraging words." I roll my eyes and ruffle his fur. He pants happily and does a dog-like smile. He's a medium sized dog, maybe a cattle dog breed. I grin back at Amata and she shakes her head, "No. Absolutely not."

"Why not?!" I whine, dropping down to my knees and enjoying the way he darts around me.

"Because he has an owner probably!" she objects.

"Where's your master boy?" I grin, looking around. I can't see anybody. It's just a junkyard, and we've been walking around high land, any nearby settlements we would have found by now.

"Anybody?!" Amata calls, "we've found your dog! We're friendly we promise!"

I roll my eyes again, "Just to make sure, do you want me to do a welcome dance for the raiders who hear your yelling and come sprinting for us?"

"No I've seen you dancing. It's horrible."

"Can we keep him Amata? Please?!" I beg, "I'll take good care of him I promise! He likes me!"

"Mmm you have a lot in common that's for sure." she tuts.

"Please?! I've always wanted a dog!" I grin.

"Ugh! Fine!"

"Yes!" I shout, jumping up and punching the air.

"Very mature," she applauds sarcastically.

"Come on boy!" I laugh, "does he have a name?"

"He doesn't have a collar..." she trails off, "you can name him if you want."

"Alphonse." I say instantly.

"Winter Kaede Daniels!" she shouts, a grin on her face, "I let you have a dog and you name it after my father! Ungrateful little..."

"Fine... how about Dogmeat?"

"Dogmeat?"

"Yeah, well he's fat..."

"Oh, really nice, make fun of his weight."

We get to the guard post and I get Amata to map the area for me while I play with Dogmeat.

"This was a bad idea..." Amata sighs, "but I will say that this is an amazing view."

"I know- oh you mean the landscape right?"

She gasps and whacks the back of my head, "I hate you."

"I'm sorry OK?" I laugh, resting against the side of the look out tower, "I was complementing you."

"You're a bitch, y'know that?"

I open my eyes and close them again, rubbing, "Hmm?"

"You nod off and I start talking to you! I was talking to myself for ten minutes!"

Amata is kneeling down beside me and I smirk a bit, "I'm sorry." I laugh, scratching the back of my head sheepishly.

"Whatever. I finished off the map, if you want we can search that settlement over there?" she points to the north and I shake my head.

"No, it'll be dark soon and we have to head back... where's Dogmeat?"

I hear him bark and I glance to my right.

"Where is he going?" I frown, before whistling. He looks back at me and grins, trotting back to me with a smug grin on his face.

"I feel like finally making the trek to Rivet City," I say, looking at Amata.

She nods sadly and rubs my bicep, "You're still thinking about him huh?"

"Yeah. I'm still angry but... I don't know I guess I need closure."

"We'll go soon..."

"Why not now?" I ask, "come on it's a two hour walk anyway, same time as Megaton."

"Because that's a dumb idea!" she gasps.

"Why not? Come ON I hear it's nice there, you can get me a present at the market."

She scoffs and follows me, "The dog WAS your present!"

Walking to Rivet City is... unsettling. We obviously avoid DC like the plague and Dogmeat proves to be an outstanding sniffer, managing to detect threats before either one of us can. We have a few half-hearted conversations, but we still have comfortable silences for most of the walk. We walk across a few suburbs and Amata lags behind a bit. She looks into the windows and spots a small stroller in a backyard, "I wonder what happened to the family in there?" she asks, pointing to a house with boarded up windows.

"I don't like thinking about it." I sigh.

"A married couple... happy and in love, with kids and a cat or a dog. Bet that they didn't even see death coming... it just... happened in an instant."

I sigh and reach behind her and grab her hand. She gets upset so easily by these things. I just keep walking, still holding her hand and gazing at the empty nothing ahead of us. The rest of the walk is in silence, because we didn't need to speak, nothing truly needed to be said.

Eventually the nothing turns into a small black dot in the distance. The dot increases and morphs until we arrive at a giant... ship. Like one of the navy ships Brock had in his history books back in the Vault, only this one was a rust bucket. First though, there's an old rusty kiddy playground that we need to walk up.

At the top there's a man in his 40's at least. His skin is a dark shade of pink, almost red from sitting in the sun all day long. A thick layer of grime and dust covers him that I'm sure is on my face as well. I'm standing a good 6 feet away but I can smell him, he stinks of sweat and piss and his clothes are literally stitched onto each other by threads.

"Please..." he croaks, hand numbly reaching for me, dried lips almost compflagued by his shaggy beard, "w...water."

"Shh," I gasp, kneeling down and grabbing my bag. I rummage through and pull out a bottle, "here. It's purified."

"It... it's not p-p-poisoned?" every word he speaks is a struggle for him, like his voice will give out any second.

I open the cap and take a sip and swallow, "Nope."

"T-thank you so much..." he gasps, snatching the water from my hands and drinking it while Amata walks with a guard over an intercom. I hear a loud screech and this drawbridge type thing screeches and start tilting toward us.

"Just take small sips," I say gently to him.

"I know. I will never forget you."

"Welcome to Rivet City." a guard says sternly, "stay out of trouble and we'll allow you to stay within here to rest or for any respectable reason."

"You got it," I nod, "I'm here looking for my father, he's a scientist."

"You look a little... weathered to be a scientist's daughter."

"His name is James Daniels. 50 something, tallish, grey hair, scruffy beard."

"Ugh... look. If it'll make you leave me alone I'll escort you to the Science Lab myself."

"Thank you," I smile.

"Sure sure." he mutters, "my names Harknass by the way."

Rivet City is a cramped, crowdy and foul smelling place. "It smells like damp toilet paper." Amata mutters, holding her hand over her nose.

"Whatever." he mutters.

People crowd the already tight hallways, which actually causes me to hold Amata's hand a second time today as we push our way through the crowds, Amata's hand grasping a handful of Dogmeat's fur. Amata and I are both smallish and skinny, which causes us to be knocked around a bit.

"You guys OK?" he has a smug look on his face when he looks at my ruffled hair, "you both look like you've had a roll around in the sack."

I grin goofily at Amata, who shoves me away, "Fucking tease." she mutters, "kicking me when I'm down..."

"If you'd just follow me..." he says.

Rivet City's hallways have signs at each end to guide newcomers, and eventually Harknass takes us down to the Science Lab.

"Thank you." I nod. He nods back at me and I grip the door handle and start to twist before Amata grips my wrist, "Wait." she says, "think for a second."

"About what?"

"If... IF your Dad is here, in that Science Lab right now, you running around acting violent and as a threat won't benefit us much. Remember we're spending the rest of the day here. Quiet and civil remember?"

I nod and open the door.

The lab stinks of latex, the walls clean and cluttered desks everywhere. Computers whir on tables, a small team of scientists bustle around in a cluster, always touching things.

"I don't see Dad..." I trail off, jogging down a small staircase.

"Don't make an ass of yourself Winter." Amata sighs, walking after me.

I pull a few scientists aside and ask for him, but everyone pushes me back and tells me they're too busy. Stuck up assholes, it's just a moment of their time but no.

"Hey! Merry Christmas fuck-o," I scowl at a thin looking woman with her back to me after the fifth time to get her attention, "when are you gonna stop treating me like shit on your heel and start treating me like a human being?!"

"Winter," Amata warns.

The scientist turns briskly and opens her mouth to yell at me. Her face has lines across it, from years out in the wasteland sun coupled with stress. Her dark brown hair is greying but you can tell that this woman used to be beautiful in her younger years. The face of anger turns into one of shock, "Oh my god... you look exactly like him..."

"Who are you?" I frown.

"You're James' daughter aren't you? Winter? You're his... his spitting image."

"Yeah. Where is he? I need some answers from him."

"Your father said you had left the Vault."

"Is he still alive?"

"To my knowledge yes. I'm Doctor Madison Li, I worked with your mother and father."

"My mother was a scientist?" I frown.

"Yes, didn't James tell you?"

"My father didn't tell me a lot of things. I'm trying to find him."

"Yes he heard the radio broadcast." she sighs, "he's upset that you feel that way."

"So am I. Do you know where he is?"

"Well if you're done harassing my team, I can arrange for the two of you access to a hotel room for the night. If you'd like... I think we need to sit down and have a talk in my apartment first thing tomorrow. Sound OK?"

I nod, "I'll meet you there."

A guard escorts us to the hotel and we're put into a room, my skin crawling when I catch him eyeing Amata up, particularly her ass. I give him a dirty look as he leaves.

"It's actually... nice." Amata gasps, collapsing onto the bed and says urgently, "Winter the bed is comfortable."

"What?"

She pulls me onto the bed and I gasp, sinking into the glorious foam below me. I sit up and take off all my holsters and hang them on the chair. I walk into the bathroom and I glance at Amata, who stares at my hand that's grasping the shower handle.

"No!" she screams in joy as I turn the handle and hot water pours onto my arms.

"I call first shower!" I yell, pushing her out and slamming the door behind her.

I frantically strip myself naked and jump into the shower. For a while I just stand there, in complete shock as the water gushes onto me. Every pulled muscle in my body starts to soothe and I sigh happily. I lean against the wall and run a hand through my hair.

"Damn..." I sigh, washing all the dirt and grime off my body. I rub my face with a wet cloth and a dark brown stain comes off and I can't help but grin at myself in the mirror. I pull a face and rummage through my bags and pick the cleanest clothes I can possibly find. A pair of jeans and a red cotton shirt.

"Look at you!" Amata smiles, "I can't remember the last time you looked so clean."

Dogmeat walks up and sniffs me, I guess he's trying to find my scent.

"Listen I'm gonna go talk to that lady at reception about drinks." Amata says.

"Good. I'm gonna give Dogmeat a bath." I grin.

She rolls her eyes and leaves me.

Ten minutes later the bathroom is chaos. I'm soaked with warm water but I stand victorious beneath a clean Dogmeat, who's sulking in a corner.

"Yeah yeah whine." I laugh, "I still gotcha good."

Rivet City is actually a pretty cold place, damp and moist.

Later, while Amata is in the shower someone knocks on the door. I reach over and grasp my holster on the chair and answer.

"I'm guessing you both don't have sleepwear available. This should be enough." Li smiles, handing me a pile of folded clothes.

"Thank you. Just a moment," I reach into my bag and open a pouch, "how much did this cost you?"

"No. I don't need to take your money. Going out on the road you need every cap you can find."

"Li," I feel awkward using her last name, "I can't take this and not pay for it. We'd probably be sleeping at that dump of a playground right now if it wasn't for you. I was an idiot earlier, let me make it up to you."

She sighs and I give her 15 caps, "You're a stubborn as your father. Goodnight Winter."

She shuts the door and I get changed into the pajamas. Amata emerges drying her hair as I yank up the pajama pants.

"Nice!" she grins, walking back into the bathroom and changing into them.

"Damn it's cold." Amata mutters, lying down on the big couch in a small blanket.

I glance at her and nod my head at the pillow beside me.

"No funny business," I murmur as she lies down next to me.

"No. What would my father think?" she jokes.

Dogmeat jumps onto the bed, but luckily the bed's big enough that he doesn't piss us off too much.

"I really liked today." Amata smiles.

"Why?"

"You acted like you. There weren't any things to kill or destroy. I miss that Winter, the kid Winter."

I sigh and roll over, "Me too. Merry Christmas Amata."

"Merry Christmas Blue Eyes." she chuckles, closing her eyes.

...

Gasp! Two chapters in one day?! Well yeah, because three quarters of this chapter was done when I published the previous chapter. It's sad I pretty much have written the entire thing, it's just an editing process now and polishing off all the plot points. "How do you find the time Skurg?" you may be asking? Well, my job is shitty, no customers ever show up, so I get a lot of writing time. It's either that or Tetris on my iPhone.

Anyways, this is the topic I was going to bring up. I'm kind of planning a sequel. This story I'm writing now will have around 25ish chapters and I think this is Chapter 11. Let me know if you guys are interested because I have some ideas I really want to bring to life. I will write it, just maybe not with these characters as the main protagonists.

Leave a review if you think I should continue and good luck for tomorrow!


	12. Answers, Clowns and Monsters

First thing in the morning Li knocks on the door. I stumble out of bed and tell Dogmeat to be quiet when he growls.

I groan and open the door, "Hmm?"

"Morning." she smiles, "not a morning person huh?"

I rub my eyes and scrunch my nose, "No it's fine... what time is it?"

"It's 11. I brought some food."

Li lets Amata and I get dressed, before she sits us down at the table in our apartment, "What do you want to know?" Li sighs.

"Where's my father?"

"He went to the Jefferson Memorial, our old lab to examine what did and didn't work."

"Is my mother dead?"

She nods, "She died... giving birth to you."

"Is that really true?"

She nods again sadly, "She was beautiful. You have her eyes and her accent."

Li's own eyes turn damp and she wipes them away, "Your parents worked with myself and a small group of scientists for a group called Project Purity. Our aim was to turn the water around the Jefferson Memorial into clean, fresh, purified water. We had the tools to get the job done, what we didn't have however was much Brotherhood support. Around the time you were born Winter, we were under constant threat from Super Mutants. The Brotherhood were investing soldiers for a project that was almost a pipe dream. Numbers were dwindling, your father was occupied with your mother, power failures were numerous. Your mother's death was the final straw. Your mother took one look at you, those shining blue eyes as bright as a blue sky, she loved you so much."

"I was born at the Jefferson Memorial?" I frown, before turning my head sharply at Amata, "Why are you laughing at this?!"

Amata covers her hand to hide her giggling, before she starts to laugh. She excuses herself but I can hear her hysterical laughing as she walks into the hallway.

"Bitch," I mutter.

"Your father left for the Memorial a few weeks ago," she says, getting up, "any other questions you either have to take up with him or make an appointment with me later."

"Holy... shit..." I groan.

"It's never easy is it?" Amata sighs.

"How many?"

The Jefferson Memorial is a good half mile from Rivet City, and densely populated by Super Mutants. They roam along the ramps, clutching weapons and pushing past each other.

"I'd say it'd easily be 15 on the outside." Amata sighs, kneeling down on one knee. We're standing around 200 metres away from the edges of the memorial and I sit down on the dirt.

"We can't do this by ourselves." I sigh, "the sonofabitch can't be in there."

"Winter is this really worth it?" Amata protests.

"Is it worth everything? No. Is it worth me smacking him in the face? Fuck yeah."

"Where are you going?"

"Megaton." I answer, getting up and turning away from the memorial.

I walk slowly across the Wasteland with Amata. It's been six months, six months of living in the Wasteland. Even when we'd settled down in Megaton for four of those months I was still out in the open on supply runs. Looking back I laughed at the fear I felt back then. Ghouls soon have the intimidation of radroaches, mole rats a funny joke where the punch line is a cracked skull and a bloody baseball bat.

We take a different route this time, following the river and touching the outskirts of DC. An hour of walking later, we come across a small bus parked against a freeway.

"Cover me," I glance at Amata as Dogmeat jumps into the bus with me.

It's an old rickety thing, mostly rust by now. "I'll take that." I whisper, opening a medical kit and swiping some pain killers and bandages.

"Hey Winter. Check this out!"

I turn around and scream, flinging myself back and falling down, "Holy fuck!"

Amata rolls around on the floor, laughing hysterically.

"Goddamn FUCKING clowns!" I yell, kicking a large stuffed clown doll.

"It's a fucking doll!" she laughs, "a stupid doll."

I get up and pin her down, "You KNOW how I feel about fucking clowns!" I laugh, snarling right in her face, "evil little bitch!"

She giggles and kisses the tip of my nose, making me recoil and fall back onto my back. She laughs and holds her hand out to me, I grasp it and she helps me up.

"You love doing shit like that don't you?" I ask, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"I love watching you squirm like a little eel."

"Excuse me?" I laugh, "I'm a good three inches taller than you!"

"I know I'm small, but YOU are in denial."

"I'm 5 foot 7 that's-"

"Help!" a high pitched shrill rips against my ears. Dogmeat barks and I jump out of the bus.

It's a little kid, absolutely gunning it towards us. His feet are bloody and scratched, his face is wet and he's dressed in only overalls. His dirty blonde hair is in his eyes and he skids onto the dirt beneath us, sobbing. He can't be more than 9 years old, "Please! Monsters! Gonna get me!"

"What the hell?!" I gasp, "woah kid easy!"

"Get him into the bus," Amata says, "he needs to get off the filthy ground."

"Easy kiddo," I smile, "we won't bite."

I unscrew a bottle of water and do my best to clean all the blood off his feet.

"T-t-t-t-the m-m-monsters! T-t-t-they took over G-G-Grayditch!"

"Grayditch?" I frown, looking up at Amata. She shrugs and gently touches the kid's shoulder, "What's your name?"

"Bryan," he stutters, still crying, "I don't know where my Daddy is! He told me to hide and I can't find him!"

"We need to get him some food," I say to Amata, "and a bed."

"We'll take him to Megaton with us." she nods.

"Listen to me," I say, kneeling down to his level, "I'm not going to hurt you, but you need to do exactly what I say, understand?"

He nods and looks at Dogmeat, "Doggy!"

"Oh boy..."

It's only now I notice the dent in the kid's head, his crossed eyes, his weird walk and the goofy grin on his face.

"Bryan's... special." I look back at Amata.

"What's wrong with that?!" she almost yells.

"Nothing! Nothing!" I say, raising my hands defensively, "but how do we know we aren't making this up? He could be a schizo or something."

Amata shoves me in the direction of Megaton, "I'm going to ignore you said that. Walk. Come on Bryan... we're going to a nice place."

"Who's the kid?" Lucas asks as we walk through the gate.

"I'm a big boy!" he yells triumphantly at Lucas, "not a kid!"

"He's Bryan. You may want Church to look after him he's... different."

Amata shoots me a dirty look and I scratch the back of my head after she whacks it, hard.

"Not dating my ass..." he trails off, lighting a cigarette.

"Drop it Calamity Jane," I snap, crossing my arms.

"Woah! Someone's having a bad day!" he laughs, "ball and chain getting you down?"

"Please, you think I'm sleeping with anyone? Look at me I'm a grunt."

He rolls his eyes, "Baby faced 19 year old..."

"Whatever. Listen, I need to get a hand on a raid."

"Where?"

"Jefferson."

He laughs, "Be serious."

"I am being serious."

"What do you expect from us?"

"Bodies, firearms and explosions."

"Then no, you can't have a hand. Not with the numbers we have. Place got overrun a few days ago. GNR had a news report on it."

"I didn't catch it. Come on Lucas. Please?"

"What's in it for me?"

"I... thought we were pals?" I pout.

"Oh don't make the puppy face."

"Please?"

"Ugh if it'll shut you up fine!"

"Ha! I knew you couldn't say no!"

"Wha- oh nice." Amata tuts.

"What?" I frown.

"A poor boy is lying in a bed crying for his father and you're out here making jokes!"

"Amata you know I'm going to look for Grayditch so stop complaining."

"You are?" she gasps.

"Yes of course, it doesn't matter what state the kid's in."

She hugs me and kisses my cheek, "Thank you."

I smile at her as she leaves and I glance at Lucas, who has a smirk on his face, "Shut up."

"I'll send a team to clear out Jefferson."

I walk back home and open the door. I grab a few extra clips and start to repair my pistol with some spare parts on my desk. After around 10 minutes I hear the door open and shut behind me. I feel arms slip around my lower neck and run up and down my cheeks.

"Don't," I cut Amata off as she kisses my neck, "don't try anything."

"Why not?" she whines, "why can't we at least try?"

"I did try." I protest.

"No you kissed me once, and from memory it lasted longer than a peck."

"That counts as trying."

"No, an honest try at a relationship...

I want to be with you Winter."

"Amata come on!" I groan, "do you honestly think I haven't thought about this?"

"And?"

"I would want to yeah. But-"

"But nothing!" she smiles, "just don't think about it."

"Of course I'm going to think about it! Amata this isn't going to be us prancing around the Vault like a pair of goofy idiots swapping notes and grins. This is going to be us running around a death trap with death staring us in the face!"

I stand up and grab her hands, "I will die protecting you. If we date, fall in love and whisper sweet nothing's in each other's ear as we stumble our way into the days ahead, we're only setting ourselves up for the inevitable disaster. What happens when I lie, dying in your arms, begging for the sweet release of death as life begins to abandon me, escaping through the hole the bullet wound birthed? Will you carry on? I doubt it." I back away and sit back down on the desk, "I'm not going to delude myself into thinking there is an after life. I want you happy as long as possible. And you'll be happy without being with me."

"You don't know that," she whispers.

"Yes. I know it." I cock the pistol and stand up, "I'm going out."

"Winter?"

"Just leave me alone." I whisper, wiping a tear from my eye with my wrist.

I walk outside Megaton and walk into Springvale, intending to examine the school for some supplies, maybe poke around the basement and find a hidden treasure. The school is deserted; raiders never were one to try and take back land, not necessarily a stubborn bunch when it came to territory. I walk around the back to gain access to the locked basement and notice a faint humming noise in the bushes behind the playground.

"The hell...?" I frown, unholstering my gun and walking toward it, "anyone there?"

I grab my flashlight and flicker it at the bushes, the humming noise continues. I grab my rifle and poke and prod at the bushes, nothing. I take a step forward and I hear three beeps, and I feel myself flying through the air, collapsing onto the dirt. I laugh at my own fall and suddenly feel very... very tired.

…

Fuck. Yes I know that this is short chapter but I promise the next one will be much longer. I'm exhausted, and I really hate editing these so I live in the procrasti-nation. The next few chapters will most likely be pushing the MA rating a bit and I can pretty much guarantee I'm going to write a sequel for this story.

Leave a review if you wanna and I'll see you guys tomorrow.


	13. One Quarter Dead

My mind very slowly starts to regain some consciousness. I hear soft beeping seconds apart and the sound of boots clanking against metal floors. I can tell that I'm lying down and I feel someone gently grasping my wrist.

"Mmm?" I grumble, scrunching my eyes tight.

"Kid? Hey," Church gasps, "can you hear me?"

"'Ata," I murmur, "where's 'Ata?"

"Try and open your eyes, but don't look down OK? Just stay calm."

I feel like little needles are resting against the top of my eyelids, and opening them causes strong pain. My vision is too blurry to make out anything and Church flashing a light in my eyes really isn't helping.

"Don't move around," he says, "don't move at all. I'll be back in a second OK?"

I can hear him leave and I try to focus my vision, it's getting easier with each passing second. The smell around me is one I've smelt before, but it definately isn't Church's clinic. This place is a bluish grey... not Megaton's clinic's yellowish brown.

I hear someone walking towards me again and I manage to find my voice, "Where's Amata?" I say.

A hand grabs the scruff of my shirt and growls, "You will speak when you're spoken to."

No. No it can't be.

"Nice to see you again Miss Daniels," Alphonse laughs, I can practically feel his delight with each syllable, "how is the Wasteland you dreamed so much of?"

What the fuck kind of sick dream am I in? The only way I'm back in the Vault is if I turned into a radroach and crawled through the ventilation systems while I was unconscious... or the Overseer's daughter had a major part to play...

"Where's Amata?" I growl, "I swear to god if you hurt her..."

He laughs, "You honestly aren't in the position to make threats at this current time. Now, you're going to answer my questions."

"I'm not giving you shit old man," I snarl, my vision finally starting to clear. I know from rough shapes around me that I'm in my father's medical clinic and I've just had surgery, because the operating table has bloodied rags on them.

I can see enough to notice he's holding a gun, "You're gonna kill me?" I croak.

"I'm going to come close to it yes." he smirks, "it's going to be up to you if you live or not. You took Amata away from me, all the cuts and bruises on her innocent body are reminders of how I should have killed you that night. Even if it meant my own death. I should never have let your father into that Vault."

I glance to my left and see my left wrist is cuffed to the bed post.

"The pain you put her through these past six months," he presses the gun against my forehead. All the rage in my mind immediately extinguishes any feelings of panic and fear I could possibly have had.

He laughs, "You don't fear death. You should."

He drags the gun down my face, cutting my nose with the sharp point. He lifts the gun off my face and moves it down to my waist, "Susie and Amata will understand." he smiles, moving the gun to the right and firing.

I hiss and scrunch my eyes tight as he shoots my right leg, only I don't feel anything. I blink several times in confusion, making Alphonse laugh. He grabs my hair and lifts my head up, "Look."

My right leg is gone. It's gone. I don't have a stump, I don't have a thigh, or a kneecap, or an ankle, just my right hip bone.

"No..." I whisper, frantically grabbing at thin air where my thigh used to me, "no no no no no."

When I woke up nothing felt different. I wasn't in any pain, I didn't feel... "lighter", I would never have guessed my FUCKING LEG WAS GONE!

"You're lucky Amata always liked you." he paces around my bed while I frantically still touch around the bed, in a vain search for a right leg, "she's the only reason you are alive right now."

"No." I whisper. No. No. No this isn't real. I slap my face and try to wake myself up. I feel trapped, desperate even. I suddenly can't breathe and any air I manage to suck in feels like sucking cement through a straw. I start to sweat and my face goes pale, but it burns. My body, what's left of it, immediately starts to search for an escape, any possible way to get off this bed and out of this room, this tomb. The whole time I'm hyperventilating Alphonse paces around me, like a lion approaching his wounded kill.

"I enjoyed watching that doctor chop off what remained when he dragged you in here. I made him. He said half your leg could be saved, I told him not to bother. Amata was... upset. She'll get over it."

"How did I get here?" I whisper.

"Amata. She was banging on the door screaming for the better part of half an hour. The only reason I let her in was because she said she'd kill herself if you died."

"I want to see her," I hold back tears, "I need to."

He sighs, before laughing and leaving, shutting the door behind him and leaving me alone.

Ten minutes pass and Amata sprints inside the room and hugs me tightly, sobbing. I finally break down and sob with her, "I'm so sorry." I shake.

"You're going to be OK." she cries, holding onto my neck, her tears dripping onto my skin and making me shiver, "you'll be OK... you'll be OK."

"What are we gonna do?"

"We'll think of something," she looks at me and starts stroking my cheek, "I thought you were going to die...!"

"I can't believe this. My life is over." I laugh, though it still comes out as a sob.

She looks at me and rests her forehead against mine, "It isn't. I promise."

My hand moves up and touches her cheek and I move my head back to kiss her forehead.

She closes her eyes and she stops crying for a moment and sighs my name.

"Shh," Officer Gomez whispers, walking in and uncuffing my left wrist, "listen. You need to get out of here, now."

"In case you haven't noticed I'm not exactly in walking condition." I say bitterly.

"There was just a security meeting. If you don't leave immediately before someone grabs a hold of you, you're going to either be killed or thrown in the jail, the doctor and the dog's gonna die, Amata will be trapped in her room and shit will go down. Sound fun?"

"Oh for fuck's sake..." I groan.

"Listen, it'll just be like the escape." Amata says, standing up.

"No. Because I need to be on your left side this time, I'll have to shoot with my left hand because my right arm will be around your shoulder. Just leave me I'll crawl out."

Amata rolls her eyes, "19 fucking years old, she still can't figure it out... alright."

She helps me up and I instantly fall down, "Fuck!" I groan.

"What do we do?" Amata gasps.

"Just keep trying." I grunt, "it's just like hopping."

Amata is lighter than me by a few pounds, she can't carry me and I refuse to let Gomez help and put his family in danger.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Church gasps, walking out of Dad's office.

"Alphonse's gonna kill us." I gasp.

"Of course he is." Church scoops me up easily and I Gomez runs into his apartment, running out with my stuff and Dogmeat on a leash. I grab my pistol and shift in Church's arms so I can aim properly. I look with a pang of sadness when I realize I can sit up now and maneuver my hips so my imaginary leg slides in the gap between Church's arm and his side. Tears weaken my aim, so I suck it up.

It's been six months. Nothing has changed. Corridors I used to call my home are still clean, orderly and nice.

We dash past the classroom and I sigh. I would trade everything I have for just one more day back here when I was 17 or 18. Life was so simple, boring, but simple. No stress of dying in your sleep out in the middle of nowhere. I fell asleep 60 feet underground in a locked room thats door could withstand the force of a rocket launcher. Now I'm being carried out of the safest place in the Wasteland with a bloody mess where my leg used to be. As we cross into the cafeteria, I see Alphonse sitting down eating a meal.

"Where do you think you're going Amata?" he roars, standing up.

I look at Amata, who looks like she's about to break down or have a fit of rage.

"I'm going home." she growls, shooting her own father in the leg.

"Holy shit!" I gasp.

"Winter's losing blood!" Church yells.

I look down at my leg and see my stitches have opened up and blood is trickling out.

"You are not leaving me today." Amata growls.

I lie in Church's arms and put pressure on my right hip. A tourniquet'd pretty much be impossible for me now.

"Just get Winter to the door!" Amata yells.

"Amata..." I half yell half moan, reaching my hand out for her, "stay on me!"

"I'll be back in a minute!" she yells. I lose sight of her when Church rounds a corner. Gomez runs ahead of us, leading Church to the door.

We run pass the apartment blocks and we crash into someone. I fly out of Church's arms and go tumbling across the floor.

"Ugh! Ow!" I moan, feeling blood gush out from my leg.

"What the hell?!" Christine Kendall yells, "what are you doing here?! Help! Help I found Daniels!"

"Shut up!" Church yells. I kick my left boot against her stomach, then her forehead and knock her out cold, anybody else who saw us hopefully wouldn't try shouting again.

"Hold on kid." he yells, picking me up and running again. I hear gunshots and see Amata running toward us.

"Church..." I grunt, "don't let Amata die."

"Shut up and concentrate on breathing!" he yells, before everything goes black.

"Hey," a sweet voice smiles, "are you gonna wake up now or what?"

I feel like I'm floating on a cloud as my eyes drift open. Amata is stroking my cheek and smiling down at me, her face damn and eyes bloodshot.

"H... Hey..." I cough.

"How do you feel?"

"... Like I died... am I dead?"

She laughs, "no you aren't dead yet. Do you remember anything?"

"I'm starting to think that the Vault wasn't a dream." I shrug, "but I'm not in pain... where am I now?"

"You're home. Safe." she smiles and a year rolls down her eyes, "I was so sure you were dead."

"How long have I been asleep?"

"You've been in and out for around five days. Church says you've recovered pretty quick, all things considering."

I lie on the bed for a moment, before looking at her, "Did you actually shoot your Dad?"

She laughs quietly and nods, "I made sure he was alive though. Rest and I'll bring some food up. Lucas needs to talk to you afterwards though. It's not really bad, I promise."

I'm sitting up and attempting to eat some noodles, when Lucas walks in with his hat in his hands, "I am so sorry about the leg kiddo." he sighs, "nobody should have that happen to them."

"I don't even know how I lost it."

"Do you want to know?"

I shrug, "It won't change anything. Sure."

"You stepped on a landline. Amata saw it and got Church. Poor fella can't perform the operation you needed without the equipment. So Amata got into the Vault."

"I'll live. What happened at Jefferson?"

"We cleared the place out easily enough. Didn't find your Dad though, we did find some holotapes however.

He hands me a bag and I find the holotapes inside and a framed picture.

"This is my mother?" I frown, running my fingers along the glass in the frame.

"I assume so. I didn't know if you would want it."

I shake my head, "No. I really appreciate this. Thank you so much Lucas."

"No problem kiddo."

Church walks in after him cleaning his hands with a cloth, "Right. I need to take a look at the... stitches."

I nod and look down, realizing I'm wearing just underwear.

"Thank you for patching me up." I say, "I really appreciate it."

"I know. Don't mention it."

I bow my head and hold back tears as he touches my leg.

"Does it hurt?" he asks. I shake my head and wipe my eyes.

Amata sits next to me and holds my hand, "It's OK." she sooths.

"How am I going to survive? I need to move around. This place isn't safe. What happens when someone walks into the house, like a raider or a ghoul? I can't shoot with one leg! I'm fucking practically dead already! I'm one quarter dead!"

"Shh... relax we'll figure something out."

"I'm fucked! Absolutely fucked!"

"Settle down!" Amata yells.

I sob hysterically and she slaps my face, hard, "Pull yourself together. My god!"

"She's going into shock," Church sighs. A wave of panic hits me and I thrash against Church's grasp, "- the fuck off me!" I scream, kicking and thrashing and spitting. I feel a sharp stinging pain in my left arm and I moan.

"Shhh," Church whispers, "it's going to be all over soon."

The last thing I hear before I black out is Church turning to Amata and muttering, "Be careful."

2 weeks later

I yawn and roll onto my stomach.

"I'm home." Amata calls, walking up to my bedroom and collapsing next to me and slipping under the blankets, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I sigh.

These past two weeks Amata's been my "nurse", for lack of better word. It's been really depressing, being bedridden. I think I'm going to lose my mind if I don't find something to do really soon. Every attempt I've made to walk on crutches has ended with my left leg giving way and a bruised ego and even more bruised flesh.

I look sadly at Amata. She's tired from taking care of me constantly, red rings from her eyes and bags under them. Whatever I needed, she gave me, no questions asked. Any chance she had to sleep was usually interrupted with my breakdowns. I was scared, still am. Running's an important skill out there. I didn't want Amata out there with anybody aside from me, and she isn't ready to go out there alone.

She stayed up with me while I lay in bed crying, except for tonight.

"Thank you so much," I sigh and gently stroke her cheek, "I can never repay you for this."

"What are you up to?" she laughs.

"Nothing." I smile, before gently kissing her lips.

For a moment as I do this I think of Susie and what's she's think of what I was doing right now. She'd probably slap me, but really? Would she? After all, it's been close to seven months and for all she knows I'm dead. My mind snaps away from the depressing, awkward thoughts and goes back to my kiss, only realizing now how amazing it feels.

She frowns and gently breaks away, "What kind of drugs are you on?"

"I'm not on any drugs." I smile and kiss her lips again, "don't break away this time. I'm being serious."

She smiles and kisses me back, running a hand through my hair and wrapping her arms around my neck. I roll onto my back and she laughs, lying ontop of me and kissing the tip of my nose, "I still think you've been sneaking morphine."

I laugh softly and peck her lips once, "I swear I'm not."

She grins and hugs me loosely. We kiss again, but this time it becomes more passionate.

I'm sure we've been lying in bed for at least an hour before she eventually pulls away.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted you to do that." she smiles, closing her eyes and sighing.

I kiss along her jaw, before looking into her eyes, "I've been giving it a lot of thought... I want to try 'us'."

"Really?" she grins.

"I don't want to spend the rest of my life wandering 'what if'? Y'know. I really like you Amata. I want to be with you, even if it means whatever it may mean in the future."

"When you were lying on that operating table back home. I felt so terrified... knowing that you might die and I never got to call you mine. The whole time I was thinking 'why not? What possible change could it have made?'"

I kiss her forehead and twirl our fingers together as she keeps talking.

"Knowing that you could never call me yours. To lie beside you and being more than friends. Never making..." she trails off.

I smile and kiss her lips again, "Amata Almodovar, will you be my girlfriend?"

She laughs silently and kisses her neck, "I'd be honored."

"How's your leg feeling?" she asks again.

"Fine." I grin, "though I wouldn't mind a hip massage-"

"Don't push your luck Winter." she smirks.

I nuzzle her neck, "You sure?"

She giggles and rubs the back of my neck, "Just go to sleep."

I laugh and drift off in her arms.

"Wake up."

I groan and mumble against the pillow, "Mmph... Go away."

"Nope. You're getting out of bed. You're going to walk on crutches today."

"I don't feel like it." I grumble, "my hip still hurts."

I feel the blankets move and she pulls my pants down.

"Jesus, fucking hell!" I gasp, jolting up.

She laughs, "Oh don't act like I've never seen you naked before."

"You really brag about that huh?"

She grins and pecks my neck, "Your leg is fine. Come on."

I pull my pants back up and get changed into a different shirt.

Amata comes in carrying two crutches, "You ready?"

"I guess..." I sigh.

"Now..." she explains as I lean against the crutches, "you are supposed to position your left leg so it's in line with your belly button."

I shift my body and shrug, "This OK?"

"It'll do." she smiles supportingly.

I sigh and feel miserable, "How am I going to find Dad now? How am I going to search Grayditch? How am I going to-"

"Shh," she puts a finger to my lips, "one day at a time OK?"

I nod and sigh, "OK. I can do this."

I take a step forward and stumble a little bit.

"Fuck…" I groan, "this is hard."

"When you were a baby you thought walking on two feet was hard. But you did it."

Two hours pass and I'm darting around the house and leaping down the stairs, swinging off the top of the stairs and landing down perfectly.

"Winter for Christ's sake!" Amata yells, chasing after me, "slow down!"

I laugh and swing around corners, but I lose my balance halfway through and crash against the wall.

"Ow." I laugh, rubbing my nose.

"Are you INSANE?" she gasps, "now you're all hyperactive. You need to burn that energy off."

I still laugh and look at my leg, not bleeding, always good.

"I'm gonna go for a walk." I smile.

She sighs, "Of course you are. I assume you want to go alone?"

I laugh, "Hell no. I don't want to be caught with my pants down. I doubt Dogmeat will do anything to help me."

She smiles, "Frankly I don't care what you want to do. I'm just relieved you're smiling."

"Oh don't get me wrong. I'm still fucking miserable. Just this... crutches don't seem so bad, y'know?"

"Told you," she smirks.

"Ha! Look at that!" Moriarty laughs, "you look like someone who's been lying in bed for two weeks."

I ignore him and sit on a bar stool, "Just give me water."

He raises an eyebrow, "What happened to Nuka on the rocks love?"

"It fucks with my meds. Tends to result in possible death."

"Ah. Best to ignore it then."

"How's the kid?" I ask, sipping on my water.

Amata sighs, "I feel bad. You were in so much of a state I didn't have much time to visit him."

I smile, "I'm good now. Spend as much time as you want with the kid."

I glance back and spot a small family sitting in the back, the baby was crying and the mother was trying to settle him.

"Who are they?" I frown.

"They rolled in here about a week ago." Moriarty sighs, "always coming in here, the baby won't shut up."

Amata shrugs, "They look nice enough."

"They're from some settlement up north west." he shrugs.

"Daddy!" the boy yells loudly, running up to me, "that lady's leg is gone!"

"Oh boy," I chuckle.

"Alexander! That isn't a nice thing to say!" the mother gasps, rushing up to him and looking at me, "I am so sorry!"

"Hey it's no problem," I shrug, flicking my wrist like I'm dismissing it.

"Thank you I promise it won't happen again." she gasps.

"No problem. I'm Winter and this is Amata." I point to her.

"Oh. I'm Olivia, that's my husband John and the little angel in his arms is Jessica."

"Welcome to Megaton then." Amata smiles.

They leave and I take another drink, "I don't like them."

"Of course you don't," Amata chuckles.

"Yeah the husband rubs me off the wrong way." Gob sighs, within earshot and cleaning a glass. He spots my smirk and raised eyebrow, "Oh come on! Act your age!" he protests.

"Sorry Gob. She's still on some pretty hardcore drugs." Amata sighs.

"Oh blah blah miss holier than thou." I roll my eyes, "but yeah I'd say the whole family creeps me out."

"Even the baby?"

I turn my head and frown at Amata, "Especially the baby."

"I hate you." she chuckles, returning to her drink, "if they bother you so much you should at least talk to them. Though you hardly are biased."

"Fuck off." I laugh, watching Gob leave, "I'm with you aren't I?"

She rolls her eyes and does so even more when I place my hand on my gun when the husband suddenly jerks up from his chair, though it's because the baby suddenly vomited all over him.

"I didn't realize that your brain was located in your right kneecap." she jokes, before getting up and kissing my cheek, "I'm gonna see if Church needs a hand with anything. I'll see you back home OK? Try not to get killed."

"I'll try." I watch her leave and turn to Gob and whisper, "tell me when the father leaves. I'm gonna follow him."

...

Righty-o so yeah... I am officially exhausted, more so than usual. Family, friends, relationships yadda yadda yadda. Anyways, who gives a shit about my personal life? Next chapter might be up tomorrow, but don't expect a miracle on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. I might take a three day break, who knows? And just so you know, my... "Roommate" skimmed through this and thought that this was "the Family" family, even though I changed the names. It isn't. Nah honestly don't expect me to be sticking to the traditional Fallout 3 type quests and characters, I just took off Winter's leg for fuck's sake I'm not exactly sticking to the script.

Anyways, merry christmas, have fun, love your family if physically and emotionally possible. For those of you living in America, I envy your cold weather and goodnight guys :-)


	14. Desperate

Gob taps his mangled fingers against the bar table and coughs. I look up at him and he nods at the door, "This is a bad idea kid."

I slide onto my crutches and shrug, "Gotta do something right?"

He sighs and starts wiping the counter.

I slip out of the saloon and spot the father walking around Megaton, down one of the ramps. I keep a distance, being careful to not make much noise with my crutches. I duck behind houses and keep my distance.

"Ugh why the hell am I doing this?" I groan, "I need to get out more."

The father goes into the house his family rented and I shrug, before going home.

"Ah, there she is." Amata laughs, dropping her bag on the floor and pecking my lips, "How was your adventuring?"

I roll my eyes and flip her off.

"That good huh?"

"Don't be patronizing."

She raises her hands dismissively and sits down next to me, throwing her legs in my lap and opening a book. I push her legs off me and she giggles.

"Haha you think that's funny don't you?" I sneer, my fingers running up and down the side of her shirt.

"Don't-!" she gasps, trying to get away. I pounce ontop of her and tickle her ribs. She writes against me, laughing hysterically, but she manages to roll to the right and slip away.

"Dammit!" I laugh.

Amata grins and gets up, walking over to me and kissing my neck, "How's your hip?"

"Fine I guess." I shrug.

"Listen, I'm gonna go to bed OK? I'm exhausted. Come up when you're ready alright?"

"I'll stay up for a while," I nod.

"Goodnight," she smiles, kissing my cheek before going up to bed.

"Night," I smile, watching her go up the stairs.

I stay up reading for a few more hours, before taking some light pain medication and going up to my bedroom, smiling when I see Amata lying there. I get changed and slide into bed with her. She stirs and glances behind her. I peck her shoulder blade and slip an arm around her waist.

I open my eyes and glance around the room, suddenly awake. I hold Amata asleep in my arms and Dogmeat is lying at our feet. I nudge him awake with my toes. He instantly starts to growl, with his ears back and teeth bared.

I get out of bed and grab my gun, holding onto the walls to support myself.

"Mmm Winter?" Amata mumbles.

"Shh," I whisper, slowly loading my gun. She slowly slides out of bed and grabs her own gun. Just in her underwear I hold her back, "Hold on what if it's Bryan?"

"I'm covered Winter," she rolls her eyes.

"Oh for fuck's sake..." I groan as I hopelessly hobble along the hallway. Amata puts a finger to her lips and she creeps down the stairs and into our kitchen. I lean against the rail and prepare to fire.

"... There's nobody here." Amata calls.

"No I'm sure that there was someone here." I say.

"Winter nobody was here," she walks back up the stairs, "we aren't missing any food or money."

I turn and lean my back against the hand rail and cross my arms. She smiles and pecks my lips, "Go to bed."

I hear a loud, rapid banging on the door and I groan.

"Why can't they leave us alone?" Amata sighs, getting up and pulling on some clothes. I hear the door open and Lucas' spurs in his boots rattling, "Get Winter. Now!"

"What? Why?" I hear Amata gasp.

"Just fucking get her!"

I jump up out of bed and slide on some pants, rolling up the pant leg and attaching safety pins along the rolled up parts.

"What's going on?" I frown.

"Just get down here!"

I grab my crutches and "run" after Lucas, with Amata and Dogmeat hot on my tail. A large crowd has gathered around the back of Craterside, everyone is silent.

"What the hell?" I frown, "what's going on?"

"Make room." Lucas says, pushing everyone gently out of the way.

A mangled dead body, the chest cut open with her organs lying in a nice neat pile beside her. Her eyes are gone and her right leg has been dismembered, it sits beside the pile of organs with 'Revenge' written in blood above the wall.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Amata gulps.

"When did this happen?" I gasp, kneeling down beside the body. I've never met the woman, we get drifters through here occasionally. They'd stay a few days then continue with their lives.

"I'd say late last night," Church grunts, kneeling down beside her too.

"What kind of sick fuck would do this?" Amata whispers.

I glance at her and she shakes her head, "No. Don't be an asshole."

"What?" Lucas asks, turning to us.

"That family that hung out in Moriarty's yesterday. The father seemed... off." I say sheepishly.

"So?" he shrugs.

I shrug back, "Subconsious thought, I don't have any evidence of course. I wasn't going to say anything but Amata did it for me."

"Why did they cut off the right leg?" Church frowns.

"OK people! Show's over!" Lucas yells, "give us some time here."

"I have kids!" a woman shouts, "I need to know if they're safe here!"

"Please ma'am," I say, "the best thing you can do in this situation is to remain calm and-"

"Calm?! CALM?! How the fuck am I supposed to remain CALM?! Look at this!" she points at the body.

"Well panicking isn't something we should do either." I say.

"Maybe it was you!" she yells, jabbing a finger against my chest, "Miss One Leg huh? You did this, didn't you?"

"Hey!" Amata snaps, "think twice before you make that accusation! What proof do you have?"

"The victim's right leg is missing!"

"Fuck you! You're going to accuse my girlfriend of that without any-"

"Amata for fuck's sake calm down!" I yell.

"Come on, the kid's done alright by us. If she wanted us dead she'd have detonated the bomb."

"What do you mean 'detonated the bomb'?"

"I should have stayed in bed." I murmur to myself.

"Burke tried to detonate the bomb and employed Winter to do the job. She refused and came to me with the detonator."

"Hmph. What? Did you offer her money?"

"What the hell people?!" I scoff, "I-I would do anything for you people. I thought that I had a bit of credibility here!"

"Everyone please! Disperse!" Lucas yells, "show some respect to the dead!"

"I'm gonna go to work." I sigh, kissing Amata's cheek.

"Bye."

Next morning Lucas calls me back again. This time it's in the small puddle of radiated water by the atomic bomb. It's a woman this time... the woman who blamed me. The same thing happened to her, organs out, eyes gone and right leg chopped off, this time "bitch" written in blood on the bomb.

"What the hell is happening?" I whisper. Amata gently grasps my hand, "You were with me all night." she sighs, "they'll take my word for it."

"They'll doubt it. I could have slipped away."

"Nuh uh," she sighs, "the way you won't shut up during your sleep, it's enough for me to know you aren't going anywhere."

I smile sadly and kiss her temple.

"All things aside." I murmur, "I'm glad I'm finally able to do that."

"So am I."

Amata and I have lunch together usually at the table and chairs beside our house. I'm halfway through my meal when Lucas walks up, "We have a problem."

"No shit." I chuckle.

"No I mean, a big problem. We need to search Grayditch."

"Why now?"

"Because the kid is becoming a problem, also we're hearing reports of some raiders starting to set up camp. Given your... condition. We can't let you go. I need to go, and so does Church and Amata."

"Oh that's perfect. Why Amata?"

"Because the kid has a bond with her. He'll freak if he's out there on his own. I'm placing you in charge."

"Oh man." I groan, "Lucas I'm gonna be mince meat."

"No. You won't. I'm installing my deputies to stay with you. You won't be touched. We'll be three of four days gone, tops."

I look at Amata, who kisses me, "I need to go." she says, "you'll be safe. I know it."

I nod and take a deep breath, "Ok. I can do this. Take Dogmeat with you. He's a good spotter."

"I'm gonna get packed," Amata says.

I watch her leave and look up at Lucas.

He sighs, "Look. I-"

"Nothing happens to her. Understand? I may be on crutches but I will fuck you up if she gets hurt. OK?"

He nods, "You have my word. She'll be as safe as a house."

"This is a really really bad idea." I sigh, "but I don't have much choice."

They leave mid afternoon, leaving me alone. I stay in the house with Dogmeat all day, doing push-ups to try and build my strength.

I crash into bed at around midnight, glancing sadly at the side of the bed Amata usually sleeps in. I shrug, "Doesn't matter. She kicks me in my sleep anyways."

"Grab her leg!"

The door swings open and I swing out of bed frantically, "Ow!"

People grab me and hoist me up into the air.

"What the fuck?! Lemmie go!" I yell.

"We got her!" someone yells victoriously. Everyone cheers and they parade me down to the town square and dump me onto the dirt. A woman walks up to me and kicks me in the stomach, followed immediately by a round of applause from the crowd. Blood trickles down from my mouth and I cough.

"You sick bitch," someone growls, grabbing my hair and hoisting my head up and spitting in my face.

"Drag the fucking cunt onto the railing."

"What?! What's the hell's going on?!"

"Shut up!" someone grabs my leg and two people grab my arms.

I spit out a mouthful of blood and cough, "What is going ON?! I didn't do it!"

"Hang her high!" someone cheers.

I'm suddenly dangled over the edge of the balcony on Moriarty's.

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit!" I gasp, looking down at the bear traps people are setting up below me.

"Hold her still!"

Ropes are tied onto my wrists and around my neck, holding me down against the balcony, with my leg dangling.

"This serves as a warning!" someone yells as they back away, leaving me dangling, "we will NOT be pushed to the ground! We will NOT be scared and slaughtered! We WILL find those responsible! We WILL avenge those who have been lost!"

"What the hell?! I didn't do anything! Let me go!"

"We figure you'll be long gone before that bitch gets back. Don't worry, we'll make up a good story for her."

"What the hell?!"

"Hell's EXACTLY where you're going." someone laughs.

"Gob! Moriarty!" I shout.

"Shut up!"

I feel something knock me on the back of the head and tape around my mouth.

"Mmph!"

"Let's go to bed people. Good work."

I don't remember falling asleep, but when I wake up I instantly feel like I'm being burnt alive. My back and neck is resting against a metal sheet, and the hot sun is beating down on me. I'm already drenched in sweat.

"Ooh damn." I groan.

"Good morning!" someone calls up at me.

"Amata baby," I murmur, "hurry up."

I spend the next few days drifting in and out, I'm sure at some point my arms dislocate, but the pain in my throat, my eyes and my mouth distract any other kind. Gob tries to feed and give me water a few times, but someone always spots him and I shake my head whenever he starts to approach. I swear I saw him cry after day 2.

"Get her off there! Right now!"

"Ugh..." I groan, feeling my body being dragged up. I can hear it's nighttime, I can hear the sound of crickets and people are shouting for torches.

"Give her some water!" someone shouts.

"Forget that get her to the fucking clinic!"

Amata. Amata's here.

"What the FUCK were you people thinking?!" Lucas roars, "I swear to god if she dies...!"

Images and lights dance around my closed eyes and I'm laid down on a bed.

"What do we do for dehydration?!" Amata shouts.

I have no idea where I am, I just feel a hand on my forehead. I remember... someone telling me to go somewhere... I can't remember.

"Fuck! Her forehead's on fire!"

"Just relax!" Church yells, "this isn't too bad! Do we have a generator?!"

"Yes of course."

"Start the refrigerators! Get Moriarty to get some ice and cold water!"

"You!" Amata yells at someone, "I want you to fucking RUN to Rivet City and collect Doctor Li. Say that Winter Daniels sent for her."

"Rivet City?"

"Just do it!"

"Can you read?" Church yells.

"Y-yeah I can read."

I hear scrawling and a scrunch of paper, "Get her to bring these materials."

"Hang on sweetheart." Amata whispers, putting a damp cloth on my forehead, "you're going to be fine."

I feel hands on me, ripping off my clothes and leaving me to the bare minimum of just my underwear.

"Don't!" Church yells at someone, "she'll go into shock if you dump the ice cubes on her now."

I hear a distant rattle of ice cubes and Amata stroking my cheek, "Winter baby, if you can hear me, I need you to squeeze my hand, just a little bit."

If I had the energy to laugh, I would. I barely have the energy to lift my pinky let alone squeeze her hand.

"Open your lips. Just do something."

Her voice sounds much calmer now, but I feel hands on my neck, irritating the dryness on my throat and causing me to cough and inhale sharply, shallowly and rapidly.

"Yes!" she grins, "OK that's good you can respond."

I eventually stop and I feel something against my lips.

"It's just a straw. Take it gently OK?"

I such a sip and it sears at my throat, making me cough desperately for air.

"Shhh it's OK."

"At least she's conscious," Church sighs, "right now we just need to give more fluid into her system."

I feel fingers gently stroke my hair and lips against my temple, before I feel a hand on her temple, "I think her fever is going down."

I feel Church's fingers against me, "Maybe... you should get some rest Amata."

I hear a small chuckle and feel two sets of fingers on my hand, and a kiss on my cheek.

I hear a door slam open and a voice I swear I've heard before gasp out, "I came as soon as I possibly could."

"Do you have it?... Good."

"How bad is it?" she asks, I can tell she's close to me.

"She's conscious but doesn't feel like opening her eyes. How many bags did you bring?"

"5."

"Brilliant. Hook her up to an IV."

I crack my eyes open and cough.

"Hey lazy guts." Amata chuckles, "took your time this time didn't you?"

"Hey," I croak, "what happened?"

"You've had a nice nap that's what's happened! Around a few days." Church chuckles, "How're you feeling?"

"Better." I cough, "throat... hurts."

"Then don't talk." Amata soothes.

"Everything hurts like a bitch." I cough.

"We've been feeding you through a tube. You recovered nicely though." a woman smiles, leaning against my bed.

"Li?" I frown, "what are you-"

"Well seeing as your father has wondered off into Vault 112, I don't have anyone to take care of when they do something stupid, until I hear you've been strung up for three days. Guess this kind of stupid runs in the family."

"Thanks- wait what you know where my dad is?"

She shrugs, "I thought you'd listened to the holotapes by now."

"You should be OK now. Just keep sipping water, but not too much. Your sodium to water ratio needs to be kept within reason. I've got other patients to attend to, but I'll check on you later in the day."

"So." Amata says, slumping on the chair next to me, "how many times are you going to give me a heart attack?"

"I'm sorry," I sigh, "it isn't like I could necessarily control it... mind putting me up to speed?"

"Well everyone thought you kind of... 'snapped' a bit because of the amputation. They thought you did the killings. So, they decided to make an example out of you. Three days later they found another traveller, same thing on them with 'wrong' carved into their chest."

"Nice." I cough, "fucking sicko."

"Yeah. So you were eliminated as a suspect pretty quickly. Seriously, we really shouldn't leave you in charge anymore. I missed you while I was gone."

I laugh and shift a bit to the side. She slides next to me and she kisses my cheek.

"I know you haven't slept since you got back." I smile, "get some rest. I'll be fine."

She nuzzles into my neck and sighs. When her breathing starts to even out I gently move away from her. I groan and sit up, before reaching up and moving my IV.

I crab my crutches and move into the other room and close the door behind me. I open the holotapes and slide them in one by one. Each of them video recordings of my father, talking about Project Purity and his love and depression over my mother's death.

Is my father insane? So completely destroyed over the loss of his wife, that we would be willing to abandon me for the project she loved? It must have consumed him, absolutely overwhelmed his mind. He was a good father until the end, well, he raised me to be a good person at least. Tried to indoctrinate me into his religion but I didn't really buy it.

I notice a final tape, titled 'Better Days'. I pick up the disk and gingerly slide it into my Pip-boy. It's the voice of a woman, she sounds beautiful. She begins to discuss notes, discoveries, various things contributing to the Project and the effort to sustain the Brotherhood's interest.

"James! Stop!" she giggles.

I freeze at the sound of my mother's voice, without thinking I take out the holotape and stuff it back in the bag.

I walk back into the room and sigh at Amata, who's still asleep. I lie down next to her again and she exhales, adjusting herself against me.

I lie next to her for a long time, for hours, just staring at the ceiling. It's inevitable that this wasteland will kill me.

I won't die from old age or stumbling off a ledge as a confused old woman, I'll die with a bullet wound or from thirst or starvation. I can't protect Amata, I can't grab a bullet out of the air, I can't defuse a live grenade, I'm not as strong as a mutant, or a tough as nails raider. I can't even protect myself. The only way I could possibly ever have protected her, to make sure she was safe forever, was for me to have died the night of the escape. I wish I never made it out, Mack should have shot me in the head. Amata would be safe, and at least I'd die with some goddamn dignity.

"Winter," Amata murmurs.

"Yeah?" I sigh, still looking at the ceiling.

"Your thinking is keeping me awake."

I chuckle softly, "I'll stop then I promise."

She falls asleep again, but I stay awake, more uncertain of myself than I have been in 7 months.


	15. Mercy

"What are you doing?" I frown, hopping upstairs.

"Packing." Amata says simply.

"What?! Why?" I gasp, before frowning, "... what did I do now?"

I was home after around three or four days at the clinic, and when I was released I found out things were extremely tense and awkward. Nobody could look me in the eye. The killings stopped, no bodies were found. But Lucas and I still searched every inch of the town in the morning.

"You didn't do anything," she says, "we're leaving together."

"Woah woah woah." I laugh, "what did I miss?"

"Did you miss the part where they strung you up for three days with no food or water?"

"Amata just stop for a second." I sigh irritably.

She sighs and shoves a shirt into a bag, before turning to me, "What?"

"This place is safe. Whoever the killer is, we'll find him. Everything'll be OK."

"Come on Winter." she whispers.

"Fear does strange things to people." I sigh, "listen. This place is the only option we have."

"We have Rivet City."

"We don't have a home there. We'll be sleeping with the masses."

"Why are you forgetting what happened to you?!" she shouts, "am I the only one between the two of us who actually cares if you live or die?!"

"Baby please, can we go through one day without an argument?"

I touch her cheek and she leans her head against my hand, "You're lucky I like you." she sighs bitterly.

"I know," I smile, pecking her forehead.

"When are we going Vault hunting?" she asks, my lips still against her skin.

"When do you want to start?" I reluctantly pull away from her.

"When all this mess is sorted out. Us suddenly skipping town will look really suspicious."

I nod and she kisses me. I smile as she wraps her arms around me, before ubruptly pulling away, "Don't you have work to do?"

"Tease." I pout.

"You're the one who's immature."

"I'm sure I am."

I walk outside and bump into Lucas.

"Ugh!" I groan, "fuck don't do that."

"I didn't hear the sounds of a bed banging." he smirks.

"That's because there weren't any." I say, manouvering past him. It's true as well. Amata and I haven't even considered that part of our relationship, at least in conversation anyway.

"Good. So you'll be able to work then?"

"Yeah." I nod.

"We found him!" someone shouts triumphantly.

"What the hell?"

Lucas and I glance at each other, before I frantically stand up and grab one crutch, bouncing on my left leg harshly.

"What the hell is going on?"

I hear a loud sob and a crack, before someone hurls a gun in the ground.

The son. The son is dragged up to the balcony. He's 8 years old. His blonde hair is stained red, his hands, chest and legs splashed with blood.

"No!" his mother screams, "no! Not my baby! Not my son!"

They start to do the same thing they do to me. I know the feeling. I know the pain and the agony, lying there begging for death.

"We have to stop this." I turn.

Lucas nods and fires his gun in the air. Nobody flinches.

I sigh, "These people, they've allowed their fear and uncertainty to control them like a plague. They will destroy anything and everything to make sure they are safe. Even if it means destroying an innocent mind."

"How do you know he's innocent?"

"He's eight years old," I say, "try to talk some sense into them."

"People! We must hold a fair trial for this!" Lucas shouts, "we are not animals! Not ghouls not mutants! Do not fall into their levels!"

"He confessed!" someone shouts.

"Let me talk with him then! We can work something out!"

"No! We will NOT be bargained with."

I glance down and see Dogmeat standing loyally beside me. I glance up and see Amata watching me from our balcony, a blank expression on her face.

I see Lucas walk up to the boy and they exchange words. The boy looks completely calm, as if they were discussing the weather. Lucas starts to untie him, but people push and shove him away. Lucas shakes his head and walks down back to me. By now I'm sitting in the dirt, arms wrapped around my knee.

"He's claiming he did it." he sighs.

"You believe him?"

"Who else could have done it?"

"The father?"

He looks over at the mother, before shaking his head, "The mother would have started to yell at him by now."

"I know. I know."

"They aren't going to let him down Winter."

I nod and stand up as the crowd disperses.

"Hey there," I smile, "mind if I talk to you for a second?"

He doesn't respond.

"What's your name?"

"Charlie." his voice is soft.

"Did you do those bad things Charlie?" I ask, leaning against the railing facing the town's gate.

"They weren't bad things." he whispers.

"Did your parents say it was OK?"

"No. They said they were bad things."

"Then why did you do it?"

"Because they were bad people."

"Why were they-"

"I don't like answering your questions. You're the baddest of them all."

"Me?"

"Yes. You were safe and happy. You can make other kids and my baby sister happy by taking us to the place you came from. But you didn't. And god took your leg away because of it. My mom got hurt when I was little, and she cries a lot, she pretends everything is fine when it isn't. My father loaths people like you. We met people like you, when we were hungry and tired and looking for a home. They ignored us, they hated us. My sister almost died, we had to give her bits of people to survive"

I squint a bit.

"I wanted to show everyone that you were the meanest person in the world. I took their leg to remind them of you. I was happy when you were up here, you would die. They were bad people, the ones I killed. They stole food and they lived their lives being scared. They hurt people when they're scared. People like that need to go away."

"Those people have people they care about. They want to be safe."

"Nobody is safe. Not even your friend. She will go away eventually. And nobody can stop that."

"And you'd keep doing it?"

"Always."

I nod, "Goodbye Charlie."

"Goodbye. The sun's really hot today."

I look down at the ground, "I know. It's almost over."

"What?"

"It all will be over soon." I repeat tonelessly, before standing up and supporting myself on my crutch. I grab my gun and fire.

"Noooooo!" the mother screams, dropping to her knees and watches as the boy's head explodes.

The mother told me her name before, that and her husband and her daughter. I can't remember them now. It doesn't really matter anymore. All that mattered was the look in that little boy's eyes, once of pure calm. I remember seeing Charlie reading in Craterside and in the bar once or twice, some stupid crime drama.

I holster my gun and look at two citizens. They're both men and look bewildered, like they've heard a joke that they didn't understand.

"Untie him, give him a burial." I say. The mother's cries ring out in the air as they stumble with the ropes around his wrists.

...

I open the door and Amata walks in my arms, "I am so sorry." she whispers.

"It's fine." I sigh, "you didn't see it did you?"

She cradles my cheeks and looks at my sad face, "You OK?"

"I'm fine." I sigh, reaching up and gently grasping her wrist.

"You have blood on you," she murmurs.

I gasp and run off, washing everything off me. I look at my hand with red streaks running down it, "Oh god..."

Amata walks up and gently wraps her arms around me.

"How can I come back from today?" I sigh.

"Nobody expects you to." she says gently, "you did what you had to do."

"It doesn't matter if I had to do it." I mutter, "that kid could have been me. If I didn't go to the Vault I-"

"I honestly doubt that you would have turned out that way."

I sigh and rub my eyes.

"We'll be OK. You just watch." she sighs.

"I hope so..."

She presses her forehead against my shoulder and sighs, "Maybe we should go to bed."

I jolt when her hands slide up my jacket, "You aren't being serious right now are you?"

She frowns and grabs the spare pistol clip I keep there.

I scratch the back of my head and she shakes her head in disbelief, "Never imagined you would jolt like that."

I keep staring at the ceiling, absent-mindedly stroking Amata's hand that's resting against my shoulder with my thumb. I feel sick. My head hurts and I can feel my skin getting clammy.

I roll onto my side and look at a sleeping Amata.

"It will all be over soon." my voice echoes around in my own mind and tears roll down my cheeks.

I roll onto my back and she clings onto my arm, whimpering and writhing against me. I smirk a bit and close my eyes, feeling warm and safe.

I hear her moaning and a sudden gasp, before she flings up and holds back a scream. I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. She regains her breath after a while and I feel her softly kiss and touch my cheek.

"Winter..." she sighs, "You're so cute."

I feel her hands stroke my hair and she softly kisses my temple.

"Angel..." she smiles, nuzzling into me, "I love you."

It's all I can do to not move, and she softly pecks my cheek, before settling against me and wrapping her arms around me.

...

"OK. How am I going to do this?" I sigh.

I've spent the past few days trying to develop a way to shoot with two crutches, with miserable results. My mind is still completely fucked from last night. What Amata said I simply can't forget. It drives me insane.

"Don't get up." she whines, "please let's sleep in."

I feel her arms wrap around me and I whimper.

"Come here." she smiles, cuddling me, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing." I sigh.

The woman who loves me smiles and kisses and gently massages my hip. When Susie told me she loved me I felt cared for. Now with Amata I feel scared. I'm not entirely sure if I love her like that. I care for her, and love her like a best friend.

"What's the plan?" she asks, cuddling me in her arms.

She's being very touchy-feely this morning, her lips constantly on my skin.

"Amata don't-"

"You worry too much." she giggles, pulling my head down onto her lap, "your hair's going to get gray."

"You're being annoying." I sigh.

She rolls her eyes and I cross my arms, "and you are being weird."

I raise an eyebrow and she plays with my hair, which desperately needed cutting. I hated my hair reaching past my shoulders, now it was hanging around my upper back.

"You're the one who can't stop touching me."

"That's because I like you." she grins.

"Who doesn't?"

"Can I ask you something, smartass?"

"Sure."

"What are we going to do once we find your dad?"

I open my mouth to respond, except I don't have an answer.

"Winter…" Amata sighs, "I lo-"

"Fuck!" I gasp, jolting up suddenly to get away from this imminent confession, "I- I've gotta go to work! I forgot to release some valves! Walter's gonna kill me!"

I jump out of bed and hop into some clothes, "I'll be back in a few!"

I walk outside and stop dead in my tracks. What did I just do? What the hell did I just do?! I shot her down! I destroyed her... any idiot could tell what she was about to say!

"Oh this is bad. This is really really bad..." I groan, running my hands through my hair, "oh you FUCKING idiot!"

I see Amata leave the house with her arms wrapped around her, but I'm too far away for her to see me.

"Fucking idiot!" I yell, kicking a tin can at the wall, "you're a FUCKING idiot! Fucking hell!"

I walk into Moriarty's and sit down on a bar stool.

"Hey kid-"

"Shut up Gob and get me drunk." I growl.

"What do you want?"

"Strongest you have, then double it." I snap.

"Woah someone's pissed off." Gob chuckles, "what's up?"

"I've fucked up my relationship."

"Thank you or telling us by the way." he mutters sarcastically, "We had to find out by watching you two practically take off each other's clothes."

"She loves me Gob." I sigh, chugging down a beer, "and I fucked everything up. She started saying it and I bolted out of my own house like my arse was on fire."

"Can I ask you something? Why do you sound so different to every one?"

"I have no idea."

"Like, you say..." he concentrates, "...arse... instead of ass."

I shrug, "It comes out naturally."

"I suppose you don't relationship advice from a zombie?"

I shrug, "Depends."

"Have you slept with eachother yet?"

"Sleeping? Yes. Sex, nah."

"Well maybe you should put sex on the table?"

"Yeah, that's good." I scoff, "'Amata I don't love you, but I really want to sleep with you.'"

"No no no not like that. Just say that you want to know her more, and that you were just startled and weren't expecting it. Don't let it be fucking, let it be love making."

I frown, "You're really clichéd you know that?"

"They're called clichés because they work."

"I don't know..." I sigh.

"Do what you want kid."

"Hey."

I turn my head and see the father, John I think, standing behind me.

"Hi..." I trail off, seeing Gob put his hand down the bar bench to the gun I know he puts there.

"I... I just wanted to say thank you... and sorry."

I don't say anything.

"I know that it was an incredibly hard thing to do, and I want to thank you for doing it."

"Thank me by looking after your daughter." I say into my beer glass, "don't let her turn into him."

I can feel him looking at me, but I don't move. Frankly I have more to think about than this pathetic excuse of a father and his inability to raise a child. I shouldn't say that, I'm just really pissed at myself.

I decide to stay sober and turn to Gob. I pay him and walk out of the saloon. Blood still stains the balcony, but at least the poor soul that got strung up there yesterday is gone. I work with Walter for a while, fiddling with gears and repairing my weapons, never getting Amata out of my mind, even when in conversation.

…

It's around 10 when I walk home intending to take Dogmeat for a walk. I glance and see Amata's jacket and hat on the floor beside the door, she's home.

"Hey," I sigh, "can I talk to you?"

Her eyes are rimmed red and she's curled up on the bed in her room.

"Amata," I sigh when she doesn't respond. I sit down on the edge of the bed, "I'm so sorry. I... it was just really unexpected."

"Go away Daniels."

I feel a ball of panic pressed against my throat. Amata never addresses me by my last name unless I'm in trouble.

"Just talk with me for a minute." I sigh, gently grasping her hand, before she shoves it away, "I know I'm an idiot."

"Yep. No arguments here." her speech is very quick and without tone, like she's holding back tears.

"Listen to me." I say, moving myself so I'm staring into her big brown eyes, "I want us to be together. No matter what happens. I want you to know that whatever you want from me, you can have it. I was shocked, frankly amazed that I could... I mean- that the person I am... could actually be loved. I wanted to get out of there because I was scared. I didn't want you to hate me because I said something wrong. But I guess I did the wrong thing too." my hand slowly reaches forward and strokes her hair, "I promise, there aren't any other women I want to spend my life with, besides you."

For fuck's sake kid, all of this you can roll off your tongue and is 100% true. Why don't you love her?!

"You mean everything to me." I say, resting my forehead against yours, "no matter how much I act differently."

She closes my eyes when our foreheads touch. I feel her arm sliding around my back and I smile gently. She opens her eyes and she kisses the corner of my lips, "You are incredibly, amazingly, lucky that you're beautiful."

I hold back my laugh and she cups my cheek, "Even though you can never be the same girl from the Vault, you will always be the girl I'm crazy about. No matter what happens, I'm with you."

I smile, "Since when are we so emotional?"

She laughs and pecks my lips, "You're forgiven Snowflake."

I groan at the return of the stupid nickname she had for me when we were younger.

"Thank you Princess." I half smile half sneer.

She giggles and kisses my lips. The kiss lingers slightly and the hand at the back of my hair tightens slightly.

"Don't you dare." she warns when I back away slightly for air and slide off my jacket.

"What? I'm not doing anything." I chuckle, standing up and trying to balance, "seriously it's a million degrees outside, only reason I don't walk around in my underwear is because I don't want skin cancer."

She tosses a plastic Nuka-cola bottle at me, "Liar."

I yelp and dodge, before losing my... footing? I collapse onto the ground and gasp, before bursting into laughter.

"Oh my god are you OK?" Amata laughs, "holy shit..."

I laugh, "You're sitting on my foot."

She technically isn't, on account that it doesn't exist anymore, but I occasionally still can wriggle my toes.

Amata shifts so she gets off my "ankle" and straddles my waist.

"What are you up to?" I ask, ignoring the incredibly awkward and confusing phantom leg pain.

"I want to trust you with something other than my life."

"Uh oh," I smirk.

She rolls her eyes and reaches up to take off her shirt.

"Woah wait!" I gasp, grabbing her wrist, "are you sure about this?!"

"Of course I'm sure." she smiles.

"Are you sure you want this?"

"Yes. Do you?"

"Yeah but- you were getting pissy when I was taking off my jacket."

"I was wondering if you were going to be persistent, turned out you weren't trying anything to begin with."

I drop my hand and she slowly slips it off. I sit myself up and slowly kiss her collar bone and neck, trying to be as gentle as possible. She leans back and holds herself up with her arms. I kiss down her chest and wrap an arm around her back as she sits in my lap.

"Are you sure?" I ask again, my fingers playing with the straps of her bra, "because we can-"

She shuts me up by yanking my shirt over my head and kissing me passionately. I don't even remember the rest of our clothes abandoning us, but everything seems to slow down the second I lay her down on the bed. I softly kiss her and when I break away I see the nervousness in her eyes.

"Relax." I whisper, stroking her cheek with my best attempt as a reassuring smile, "it's me."

She nods and kisses me a final time before I slowly retreat from her lips.

...

"I... I can't believe we did that." I hear her whisper.

"Are you OK?" I frown, pulling the blanket over us.

She rolls over to face me and she smiles, cradling my cheek, "More than OK. I love you," she softly kisses my lips.

I kiss her back and hold onto her gently. She snuggles against me and I sigh.

"Still messed up about it huh?"

"Shhh..." I smile, "let's not discuss it now."

We lie together in bed for what seems like hours, caressing various areas of our bare skin.

"Was I OK?" she murmurs, flushing red a bit in embarrassment.

I smile and peck her hand, "You were fine beautiful. You didn't need to be nervous."

She sighs and holds onto me tightly, "You promise?"

I vaguely remember something like this happening with Susie the first time we slept together. Afterwards she would be anxious. Knowing Amata it was probably vulnerability.

"Promise." I smile and kiss her temple.

She sighs and rolls onto her side, "You don't have to try so hard either."

I frown, "I wasn't."

"Not with that." she reaches up and points at my face, "you keep trying to be happy. It comes off as jumpy."

"I am happy."

"You're happy when you need to be. You're miserable all the other times. The blue in your eyes goes dimmer and you constantly scratch yourself."

"Amata-"

"That's all I'm saying about it."

I keep my trap shut, why can't she do the same?

I look at my watch and sigh, "Goddamn it's only 2PM."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that I'm exhausted and I actually need to release pressure valves."

"How many times do you have to do that today?" she giggles, rolling off of me and opening a drawer, "I got you something."

I pull on a shirt and sit up.

She hands me a pair of my pants and I frown, "What?"

"Look, stupid." she chuckles, slipping an arm around my stomach and pressing her forehead against my shoulder.

The right pant leg's been tailored, thank god it was a pain in the ass to keep doing the safety pin thing every morning.

"Who did this?" I smile, sliding into the pants and standing up.

"Me." she scratches the back of her head and glances down.

I kiss her lips, "This means so much to me. Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

I grin and pull on my shoes and stand up, "I'll see you in a few hours OK?"

Amata nods and rolls onto her stomach, mumbling something I can't understand.

"Night," I smile.

"G'night." she grumbles, face buried against the pillow, "-ove you."

...

Dear god I'm a pig. 24th onwards has been nothing but eating leftovers, shamefully working off the lunch, passing out on my couch and killing hookers using a giant dildo in Saints Row. Anyways, sorry this is late. Leave a review and I'll see you guys soon.


	16. Mirelurks

It's official. I hate the sun. I hate it. I wish it would go away or die somewhere and leave me the hell alone. And highways too for that matter. Cracked ass roads and ruined cars that make travel a giant pain. Sweat pours down my forehead and I wipe it for the millionth time in two hours.

Amata isn't faring too well either. We made sure to bring a ton of water with us, but she never really could handle the heat. I offered to carry most of our stuff but she keeps referring to my leg. Now she walks holding Bryan's hand, the poor kid. He has a relative in Rivet City and we're dropping him off today. He adores Amata though, probably because she was always good with kids.

"It's Janurary." I moan, "it's supposed to be colder."

"Come on. Rivet City. Think. Cold shower."

A grin flashes across my face and I glance down at the brown that has overwhelmed Dogmeat's fur, "And a bath for Dogmeat."

"Ugh no... why are we going to the science lab again?"

"Because I have no fucking clue where Vault 112 is." I laugh.

"I don't even care. All I care about is that shower."

"We really shouldn't be walking for hours for a shower."

"I know I-"

Dogmeat growls and Amata immediately shuts up. I dart behind a car and grab my rifle, hissing as the hot metal touches my neck.

"Shhh," Amata whispers, shoving a hand over Bryan's mouth as he starts to cry in panic.

"Hey," I smile at him, "we're good OK? It's just a game of hide and seek. You just have to be quiet and block your eyes and ears OK?"

He nods, "O-O-OK."

"Eh." someone yawns, "I thought that the scavenger had more junk than this."

"Quiet," I whisper at Dogmeat when he starts to growl.

"Whatever. You got any Jet on you?"

"What do I look like? A fucking dealer? Get you own!"

"Fuck you Damen! I- what's that?"

"Shit!" I hiss, noticing my crutch is sticking out. I jump up and spot three raiders.

"Go Dogmeat!" I yell. He pelts towards one and pounces, ripping out one raider's throat while I shoot another in the chest. He screams and falls to the ground after firing a stray bullet. The last one dives behind a car and starts yelling and screaming.

"Think you can handle this?" I look at Amata.

She nods, "Cover me."

She loads her pistol and I click my fingers, making Dogmeat run back.

"Good boy," I smile, ruffling his fur, "good boy!"

I peer and lean against the car, watching for movement. Fucking raiders. Big tough gangs but the second they're alone they're scared little kids. This one is screaming at his fallen comrade like a wounded animal, screaming at him to get up and help him. I feel proud when I see Amata's face stay determined and not morph into something more emotional. I hear a gunshot and Amata walks back and picks up her bag, "You aren't going to ruffle my hair are you?"

"Since you asked so nicely." I laugh.

"I hate you." she sighs, walking ahead of me.

"Oh yeah, don't help me up." I scoff as I pick myself up.

"Does baby need help up?" she pouts.

"Ugh please don't start. I'm not at my best when I'm at the brink of heat exhaustion."

"Really? I'll keep that in mind."

"Bitch."

"Puta."

"Woah!" I gasp, grinning and backing away, "too far."

"Puta means bitch you idiot." she laughs.

I jab my finger against her ribcage, making her gasp and jolt in a spasm.

"200 caps." I gasp, "do you have a shower?"

"Please. You've delivered Bryan to me safe and sound. That's all I can ask for. Your stay is on the house."

Vera takes a look at Amata and I's reddish brown skin and one listen to my raspy voice and guides us into a room, "I'll send someone to bring a jug of water soon."

I walk into the bathroom, tossing my crutches out of the way and ripping off my clothes. I turn on the shower and hear a loud grunt from the plumbing before water spews out from the shower head.

"Oh dear god," I laugh and lean against the wall as the tepid water runs down my body, "oh that is too amazing."

I close my eyes and hear Amata getting in beside me. She hugs me loosely and rests her head against my shoulder, shivering slightly.

"We need to build showers back home." she mumbles, closing her eyes.

I smile and rest my chin against her head, "We?"

"OK you. You're my go-to-girl for that then."

"It'll be your birthday present."

"I'll use it every day." she giggles.

"Sure you will." I roll my eyes.

Amata drags a finger firmly down my arm, smirking at the dirt that pools around her finger.

After a good half hour of scrubbing each other clean I'm lying on my stomach on the cloud of a bed, dressed only in underwear and a shirt with Amata drying my hair with a clean white towel.

"Why can't we live here?" she sighs.

Almost on que I hear a loud moan from the ship and a shout, and I point in its general direction.

She eventually tosses the towel away and lies down next to me, "It feels so good just to relax..."

"Don't get used to it." I sigh.

"I know." she chuckles, "what are we going to tell your Dad? About us I mean."

"I'll tell him what I tell everyone." I roll onto my back and smile at her, "that I'm with you."

She rolls her eyes before the door knocks.

"Forgive me for caring!" I laugh, smiling at my ability to dress up a statement without saying three magic words.

Amata comes back with a jug of water and I take a drink from the jug.

"Winter!" she gasps, pulling the jug away, "use a glass!"

I scoff, "My tongue has been in your mouth. Shut up and let me drink."

I chug down the water and gasp.

"You're a slob." she groans.

"Remember," I grab her waist and pull her onto me, "I'm YOUR slob."

She giggles and pecks my lips, before lying next to me and grinning against my neck, "Oh the burdens I carry."

I smile and relax against the bed, "I thought you liked me or something like that?"

"Don't start." she smiles, moving a leg over my waist, "just be quiet and relax. The day's ours."

"But I have to-"

"You don't have to do anything," she cuts me off, "except sleep."

"But-"

"No."

"But I-"

"No."

"Amata-"

"Shut up!" she laughs, "my god!"

After a quick nap in the hotel room I wake up and find Amata still sound asleep next to me, her little fingers inches from my waist. I scribble a quick note to her before getting dressed into something presentable and walking to the science lab. "Walking" is actually me maneuvering two crutches through crowded hallways. Most people kindly move past, and I thank them.

...

"Winter," Li frowns, "have you found him yet?"

"Negative." I shrug, "I uh... need a location. I was wondering if you had it?"

She pulls up a map from a file and opens it, "I assumed you knew."

"We don't exactly have a trade route with other Vaults." I shrug.

"Here." she points at a bolt symbol on the map, "you're looking for a garage, Smith Casey's to be exact."

I nod programming it into my Pip-boy, "Thank you."

She leans against her desk and nods, "You look... exhausted."

I ignore her statement and look up at her from where I'm sitting.

She shuffles a bit on her feet and I chuckle to myself, "Must be surprising for you. The Daniels rolling into town once again to bother you."

She sighs and shrugs, "The Daniels don't bother, they demand and are a family of stubborn mules."

"What the hell are mules?" I laugh.

"I have no clue." she laughs, "it's just a saying... how does Amata feel about it?"

"Feel about what?"

"Being a Daniels."

I laugh and choke on the water I had been sipping, "In no circumstances in this fucked world is Amata Almodovar going to be cursed with the burden of being Amata Daniels. Fuck we've only been together for... shit I don't even know how long."

"Relax," she smirks, "you just seemed close is all."

"Right."

"I'd be more worried with your father regarding that though. He may be a man of science but he's also a man of god."

"Yeah well unless he goes all Gomorrah on my arse I'm really not that bothered by what him or his stupid book thinks."

"Arse arse arse." she tuts, "your mother would be ashamed, she used to read a passage to you every night before bed while she was pregnant with you. She thought it would bring some morals."

I frown at her.

"I'm sorry that was harsh." she shakes her head, before pointing at an aging man sitting in the corner, looking sour with his arms folded over a dirty suit.

"What's his problem?" I frown.

"He's blabbering on and on about some stupid robot gone missing." she sighs.

"So what? Just a stupid robot."

"Exactly. He won't leave me or my team alone."

"What's your name?" I ask, sitting down next to him.

"Excuse me?!" he scoffs, "where's your manners child?"

"What's your name sir?" I ask bitterly.

"My name's Mr Zimmer. And you will continue to address me as either the latter, or sir."

"I'll call you Mr Zippitydoodah. How's that?"

His beady little brown eyes squint, "Don't think for a second that you threaten me."

"I ain't trying to threaten you. I just want you to leave the fine scientists here alone."

"No, they can help me find my stolen property."

"Did the steal it from you?"

"No."

"Then I don't see why they have to help you."

"Pft! Useless dirt mongrel. Do you even know what an android is?"

"Um.. a cybernetic organism: living tissue over a metal endoskeleton."

His eyebrows shoot up so high I thought they'd slink to the top of his balding head, "How do you know that?"

I shrug, "Saw it in a movie once."

"It matters little. This android is somewhere on my ship. His memory chip's been deactivated so he will not know who he is."

He hands me a piece of paper, "When you find him, say this code. His memory will be completely recovered, and he will be my property once again."

"This is sounding creepy. It's just a stupid RobCo robot that looks like a human..."

"Oh do not make this sound tawdry. All I ask is that you retrieve him. You'll be paid of course, and, if it means so much to you, I'll leave the scientists alone."

"I'll think about it," I mumble, "goodbye."

"Farewell. Travel with high hopes."

...

I walk back into the hotel room and see Amata curled up in the bed with one eye half open.

"Hello princess." I smile, sitting beside her.

"Hello Blue Eyes," she smiles tiredly.

"How did you sleep?"

"Like the dead," she smiles, resting her head in my lap.

"I have some news..."

"You found an abandoned Vault that we can live in?"

"No."

"You slept with someone?"

"Yes."

"Really?!"

I laugh and peck her lips, "Only you sweetness. It's secret news."

"Secret news?"

"There's an android here."

"What do you mean?"

"It's kind of like a human with a robot skeleton."

"Really?"

I nod, "Yeah. And I know where Vault 112 is."

"You look beautiful by the way." she flips us so she straddles my waist as I grin up at her.

"Yeah so we're ignoring the part about finding my Dad now?" I smirk.

"We'll get to that in a minute." she kisses my lips and neck.

"Miss Almodovar you're trying to seduce me." I tease as she pecks my lips.

"I was hoping you'd forgotten that movie." she rolls her eyes.

I grin up at her and slide off her shirt.

She lifts up her arms to help me slide off the shirt and she kisses my lips passionately.

I bite her lower lip playfully and she giggles while my hands roam her body.

"God you're sexy," I purr, kissing and licking her neck.

"Oh..." she moans, holding my head to her neck.

Dogmeat barks and growls from the bathroom, making her sit up sharply, pursing her lips in surprise, "It's OK Dogmeat."

He stops growling and she rolls off of me, smiling and unbuttoning my shirt.

"I remember when you wanted to get a tattoo there." she gently traces her finger along my collar bone.

"Still might. Depending on how sterile everything is."

"Please don't get covered in them." she sighs, "you have beautiful skin."

"I know." I smirk.

"Puta." she tuts.

I poke my tongue out at her, before giggling and kissing her lips heatedly.

...

"You're developing a tell." she props herself up on one elbow after she pulls a blanket over herself.

"What kind of tell?" I frown, pulling on a shirt.

"You have a stupid grin on your face whenever we sleep together. It's on there for the rest of the day."

"And that's a bad thing because...?" I smile.

"You goof off, but you look cute so I don't mind."

"It doesn't matter. Listen I need your help. I need to go poking around the lower hull and I'm going to need to learn how to swim with one leg."

"But I don't know how to-"

"I just need you to pull me up. Should be easy to get back on the horse." I shrug.

She smiles and pulls me ontop of her and wraps her legs around my back, "Can't we just lie in bed all day?" she whimpers.

I push myself off her, as reluctant as I am to do so, "Come on. It'll be fun I promise."

...

"You say you're Caucasian right?"

I laugh and sit waist deep in the water, "Far as I know. Why?"

"No reason."

"Please keep in mind that being alert is a good thing."

"I know. Like I'd let you drown... you know how to fire a gun properly, you're too useful for my quest to find a decent house somewhere."

I roll my eyes and tip my body forward. I start to swim freestyle but my hips keep jerking to accommodate for my right leg. I surface and look at Amata, who's smirking at me, stifling laughter.

"What?" I cough.

"You look like a fish!" she laughs.

"At least I can swim!" I say defensively.

Half on hour of practice later I'm swimming laps around the water with ease. I was a strong swimmer before I left the Vault so it was just a matter of adjusting my stroke.

"Amata come in the water's fine."

"No it isn't." she laughs.

"Oh come on, a little RadAway afterwards and we'll be good as new. You trust me don't you? Get in, you won't drown I promise."

"Promise?"

"Amata we're in fucking waist high water. If you drown something is seriously wrong."

She sighs and slips into the water with me. I wrap my arms around her and lie her on her back, "Good girl."

Her hand grasps mine and I smile at her, "I gotcha, don't worry."

"OK. Do you know what you're supposed to be doing?"

She shrugs, "I was watching you."

I show her the basics and I notice her edgy expression.

I chuckle, "As if I'm gonna let you drown. I'll be beside you the whole way."

She nods and tips her body forward.

She's a weak swimmer, but when she eventually surfaces she has a grin on her face.

"I think I've got it. I'm still weak though.

"Practice makes perfect right?" I smile.

"Oh stop being a-"

"Woah!" I shout as Amata suddenly disappears, "Amata?!"

I dive under and see a freakish looking thing grabbing her by the ankle and dragging her down the water. Amata is screaming and thrashing.

"Shit shit shit!" I gasp, immediately surfacing and running to the clothes we discarded on the shore. I grab my hunting knife and put it between my teeth as I dive in after her.

I catch up to Amata and grab the freak things arm. It isn't a super mutant, this one has grayish blue skin and looks like a human-fish thing.

I slash at his chest and arms, his blood floating into my face. I keep slashing and tugging at Amata's leg. I dig the knife deep inside his arm and his hand springs free. That's when things get bad.

Amata's floating in the water, not responding to me. I wrap both arms around her but I can't kick properly.

"Gah!" I gasp, surfacing and looking up. I can see Harknass, the security manager, patrolling the deck.

"Harkass!" I shout, "Harkass for god's sake help me!"

"Holy shit!" he gasps, diving into the water. He swims toward us and grabs Amata.

"Just take her!" I gasp. Harkass grabs Amata and pulls her to shore.

I stumble onto shore after them and immediately flip Amata onto her side.

"Hey," I smile, "baby let it all out."

She coughs up water and I stroke her hair, "You're fine. You're fine."

"We need to get her to the clinic, just so we can clean the wounds and give you both some RadAway." he nods, scooping up Amata.

"Winter?" she mumbles urgently, her eyes still closed.

"Right here." I smile.

"Oh boy," the doctor smiles, "another Mirelurk attack?"

"Mirelurk?" I frown as Harkass lies her down on the hospital bed.

"Yeah the creepy crab things." he sighs, "they've been hanging around for a while now."

I nod and stand beside Amata, "We're hopeless aren't we?" I laugh, "can't even go for a swim without needed to be stitched up."

"Stitches?" she jolts up.

"Woah woah woah," I say, "it's alright."

"I don't want to get stitches." she says quickly with panic in her voice.

"Relax sweetheart," I laugh, "come on."

"Don't worry Amata. I'm Doctor Preston, we'll just look at your leg and I'll give it a clean OK?"

Amata looks at me and I shrug, "You're looking better than I was with my last leg injury."

"You aren't funny."

"I wasn't intending to be funny." I smirk.

Li walks in while Preston is bandaging Amata's leg, her face looks worried and her speech is shaky and jolted, "Winter can I talk to you?"

I walk out after her and she shuts the door, "I think you need to go to the Vault as soon as possible."

"What? Why?"

"Because he isn't in the Jefferson Memorial or came back to see me."

"Well we have to wait until Amata's leg-"

"That will take a few days. You need to go now."

"Why? If anything happened to him a few days won't mean much."

"He's your father!"

"And I'm an amputee. That means a death sentence out there without a human back up."

"Please Winter." she whispers, "please."

I exhale sharply, "Fine. I'll... I'll think of something."

"Thank you." she hugs me tightly.

...

"Listen to me," I say, stroking her cheek, "if you want me to stay I will. No matter what. Dad can wait."

"I'm fine honey." she smiles, "Go get your dad."

I smile softly and kiss her lips.

"I love you," she cradles my cheek, "be safe."

I look at Preston he nods, "She's in good hands, we promise."

I look at Amata, who flicks her wrist at me, "Go. Take the mutt with you."

I smile and kiss her a final time, "Woah easy love birds." Preston interrupts when she deepens the kiss.

I reluctantly break away, "Ugh. Fine. I'll be back soon."


	17. Sweet, Fading Memories

Walking through the wasteland without someone to talk to... it's pretty eerie. Sure I have Dogmeat, but he isn't exactly good for conversation. The entire time I'm bottling any uneasiness of fear I may have, it doesn't contribute to anything. I stay calm and alert, with Dogmeat sticking loyally by my side the entire time.

The walk to the garage is relatively quick and harmless, save for a few mole rats and dogs. Though I'm there for at least an hour rummaging for supplies. When I finally get around to activating the doorway to the Vault I make quick progress of the corridors, eager to get this over with.

What I find downstairs in the Vault's main area is nothing I've seen before. Pods are lined up around in a circle. That's when I see him.

"Dad?!" It's him! It's fucking him!

I gasp, pounding hard on the pod, "Dad! Look at me! Dad! James! James Daniels! Can you hear me?!"

I bang my fist against the glass but it doesn't make a dent, "Oh damn."

Dogmeat starts to bark and growl at the pod.

"Good boy," I give him a treat when I suddenly remember he hasn't eaten all day as I think about how the fuck I'm going to get him out of there. I grab my crutch and bash it as hard as I can against the glass, "Fuck me!" I yell when my hand slips and I fall, banging my head against the glass. I pick myself up and groan, the glass must be at least 5 or 6 inches thick. I won't make a dent.

I look to my left and spot an old computer in front of Dad's pod. I activate it and I realize it's like a heart rate monitor... thing. Damn I really should have paid attention to Dad's ramblings when I was stuck in his office. The machine tells me he's nervous, makes sense. At least he's conscious and breathing with a normal heart rate. I look around at the other members in their own separate pods and examine their terminals. Each one is terrified... what do they know that my Dad doesn't?

There's only one vacant pod.

"Why do I have to do everything?" I groan, climbing into the pod. Dogmeat jumps into my lap but I push him off, "Go to Amata." I say, pointing at the exit, "go."

The pod closes and seals, making me tense a little as a terminal hangs a few inches from my face, before I see a bright flash of white.

When everything comes into focus I don't recognize what I see. Everything's... different. For starters, I have no clue where I am. Well, I kind of know where I am, it's a street with an Old World flag hung up on a pole outside a house. Around a dozen people roam the street pavement freely, couples holding hands and smiling. Nobody is armed, their clothes are pristine, clean and ironed, they look so content. Kids run around chasing eachother, laughing and teasing each other and playing with a dog. I smell pine oak and realize I'm sitting on a bench... in a summer dress. Ugh.

I push away the feelings of discomfort and push off the bench with my hands and move my left leg to gain balance, but I feel something dangling on my right side.

"Oh now this is just cruel." I tut, rubbing my right ankle, "I'm gonna get used to this."

I realize that I'm a bit rusty walking on two feet again, and people look at me like I'm a drunk as I stumble around like a doofus.

"Excuse me little missy?"

Little?

I turn around and my forehead bumps into a man's stomach, "Oof!"

"Woah careful there," he chuckles, "you OK kid? You look dizzy."

I'm significantly smaller than I usually am at 19 years and three quarters.

"Where am I?" I frown.

"Tranquility Lane kiddo. You look a little lost."

"Yeah. I can't find my Dad. Have you seen him?"

The guy suddenly looks more concerned. He crouched down beside me and puts a hand on my shoulder like in those old war propaganda movies I found in the Vault's storage room, "Don't you worry little missy I'm sure we'll find him. Y'know the best way to find someone?"

"How?"

"You stay where you are so it's easier for him to find you. Did somebody give you some candy that tasted funny?"

I shake my head and frown, "I just want to know how to get out. Where's the Vault Overseer?"

He frowns, "Overseer?"

"Yeah. The boss."

He shakes his head, "I think you got hit in the noggin little missy. This is Tranquility Lane, USA. Not a Vault."

"No this is a simulation. You're asleep right now in a pod, you've been asleep for maybe 200 years."

He scowls, "These stupid new religions... you should come back to my house. My wife Janet makes wonderful brownies."

I look suspiciously in the man's eyes.

"Kiddo I promise, we'll keep you safe."

...

"Janet!" he calls, "Janet we have a guest."

I swear to god I feel like I'm in Pleasentville or some shit. The wife sticks her head out, dressed in an apron and curly hair with oven mitts, with a strong smell of pastry coming from the kitchen, "Oh my!" she gasps, "forgive the state of the house... if I had of known we were going to have company I would have cleaned the house."

"She just showed up. We don't know where her father is."

"Oh is your Daddy missing?"

I roll my eyes, "Yeah he is. His name is James."

"You can stay here until he turns up kiddo. My name's Rodger. Is there anything you need?"

"A pair of pants and a shirt." I say, scowling and folding my arms, "I hate dresses."

"Oh but ladies don't wear pants..." Janet says awkwardly.

"Please? I can climb trees so I can get up high and look for him."

Rodger looks up, "I'll check with Timmy's parents."

"Until then, you can go some nice, tasty brownies. Fresh outta the oven."

...

Rodger walks in while I'm sitting at the table eating brownies. The taste reminds me of the Vault... back home there's always be an aroma coming from the Cafeteria.

"This isn't real," I whisper as I take a bite and taste it, "it isn't."

"Here you go." Rodger smiles, "Timmy Neusbalm's old clothes, you should go play with him."

"No thanks. I need to find my Dad. Thank you though for the hospitality, it means a lot."

"You sound mature. You can't be more than 10 years old."

"I'm 19 actually. This is just a virtual reality avatar thing."

The couple give each other a look and I frown, "You both honestly don't know?"

"Know what?"

"Ugh! This isn't real! You're in a sleeping pod right now! Don't you remember entering the Vault?"

"…Why don't you just go outside and play?"

I get changed into the clothes I walk outside, still wobbly as hell trying to adopt the sense of balance I'd abandoned a while ago.

"Watch it!" I tut as someone bumps past me.

"I'm sorry." she's an old lady, she looks so soft spoken and scared, who wouldn't be? I decide not to bother with my rambling and walk around the street, getting odd looks from pretty much everybody.

"Ha!" I grin triumphantly, spotting a large tree behind a house, "Amata can't stop me now can she?" I look down and scowl when I see I'm wearing stupid ballet shoes. I kick them off and climb up the trunk barefoot, glad that I'm wearing pants.

My feet kick off loose pieces of bark and I almost fall a few times, but the vantage point is more than necessary.

"Shit!" I yell as my hand slips when I'm at least 9 metres from the ground, "shit shit shit..."

I close my eyes and keep my composure, "Alright. Come on..." I grunt to myself as I pull up to another branch, "come on bitch. You can kill a mutant, you sure as shit can climb a tree."

I close my eyes and tighten my grip on the branch when someone calls down from below me. "Winter?"

"What?" I gasp, looking down.

It's a young girl, wearing a nice Summer dress and holding a watering can, "how do you know my name?"

"Everyone knows your name silly. Why wouldn't they? Are you coming down soon? I want to play a game."

"Sorry kid I don't have time to play games."

"It isn't an option."

"Yeah it is. Take a hike kid."

"I know where your Daddy is."

My head whips down and a ball of excitement hits my stomach, "Really?"

"Yes. James Daniels."

I climb down and gasp, "Tell me!"

"You have to play a game first."

"Ugh! Please kid I need to find him!"

"For every game you play, you'll get to ask me one question."

"OK... what's the game? Hide and seek?"

"No. I want you to make Timmy Neusbalm cry."

I frown, "That's slightly sadistic."

"I don't care how you do it. Just do it."

"How do I know this isn't a trick?"

"Winter Daniels... you have a Hispanic lover."

I raise an eyebrow at her strange discription of Amata, even more so she knows Amata exists.

"How do you-"

"Do it. Now please."

...

I find Timmy sitting on his front porch with a lemonade stand. He looks anxious and uneasy.

"Hey kid." I smile.

"H-hello. Want to buy some lemonade?"

I've never really had to bully a kid before, not to say I was a saint back in the Vault. I find myself thinking of someone I never thought I'd think of in a positive light again... Butch.

"Listen here you little piss weasel." I growl, remembering one of the many insults he gave to our classmates, "give me all your cash!"

He freezes in terror and I snarl, "Come on! I ain't got all day!"

He starts crying almost automatically and I push him onto the dirt.

I feel someone grab the collar of my shirt and drag me off, "Hey! Stop it! Let me go!"

The person drags me into an old looking house and slams the door. The house stinks of old rotting wood and dust.

"Please tell me you know this isn't real."

I whirl around and immediately take a few steps back to somehow avoid the desperate look in this old woman's eyes.

"What?"

"This isn't real."

"No. It's a Vault simulation."

She sighs in relief and grips my shoulders.

"Woah hey hey hey... let's just keep our hands off each other. Just relax and tell me your name?"

"They call me Jennifer. I... I can't remember my name before I entered this horrible hell."

"OK. My name's Winter. I'm looking for my father James."

"You have to help us. We've been trapped. None of this is real. This is his game! There's no escape. No death to release us."

"Wait- I'm trapped here?!"

"Maybe not," she whispers, crouching down to my level, "how old are you really?"

"19 almost 20."

"This house holds the answers. The way out. He built it when the other one arrived."

"Other one?"

"I heard him mentioning 'another one'."

"OK so... how do we get out of here?"

"I... I don't know."

"What? Just an idea?!"

"I'm sorry it's just been a week!"

"I'm sorry... just... I'm worried about my dog. He's waiting for me."

...

Jennifer shows me house from top to bottom. It's mostly empty, and a thorough examination of the walls and floors reveals no secret doorways or switches.

"So the others didn't notice the new house?"

"No. Any new addition is melded into their memories as something that has always been."

"... What?"

"OK. An example would be this house. He adds new objects or settings while everyone is asleep. When everyone is awake, they treat the house like it has always been there."

"OK so maybe it's a radio frequency..." I walk up to the radio and turn the dial. A tone comes from the speakers, then nothing. I touch the dial again, the same noise to the exact pitch.

"Wait!" Jennifer gasps, "I have an idea!"

She touches the radio and then starts to touch various areas around the house. She touches the pitcher, and a tone comes from that as well, "OK." she gasps, "progress."

"Mind explaining the 'progress'?" I roll my eyes and cross my arms.

"Ugh. In simple terms... if we hit these objects in a certain order the simulation may end."

"Ah." I nod, scratching the back of my head in embarrassment, "sorry I'm a bit slow today."

"Get some sleep. We should take this in shifts. Tomorrow you can work on this. I'll work through tonight."

"Good idea." I nod, "good luck."

...

"Mmph?" I yawn, rolling into my stomach. My legs dangle over the bottom of the bed and I frown.

"Winter! Wake up! Breakfast is ready!"

I swing off the bed and stand up. I'm at least two feet taller, and my clothes have changed over night.

"What the hell?" I yawn, walking up to the mirror. I'm... me. Four limbs but I look at least 18 or 19 years old.

I walk downstairs and see Rodger and his wife casually eating at the table, "Morning kiddo."

"'... morning?" I frown, sitting down at the table, "... so notice anything different about me?"

Rodger doesn't look up from his paper, "Oh yeah the new... nail... hair... thing. Looks good."

Janet rolls her eyes, "Forgive him. Never was very good at listening. What's the change Winter?"

I frown, "You don't think I've grown a bit?"

She frowns and looks closely at me, "Not that I've noticed. You look the same as you did yesterday."

I raise an eyebrow and shrug, before I sit down and start eating some pancakes.

"The boys are putting up a mighty fight." Rodger smiles, "Commie bastards won't know what hit 'em once we're on the offense. Got any brothers fighting in Anchorage Winter?"

"Oh um... no I don't have any siblings."

"Shame. This is a war that'll go down in history, I don't know sometimes buying war bonds and conserving grease doesn't really count towards my part in contributing."

"You had better not be thinking about joining Rodger. The Marines only need soldiers 18-25." Janet sounds bitter, like it's a conversation they've had a million times before, "you know what happened to poor Claire, the McDowl's daughter? She signed up and got her leg blown off by a IED."

I wince and grip my leg, making them look at me, "Something the matter Winter?"

I shake my head and stand up, "Thanks for breakfast."

Janet nods as I wash my dishes in the kitchen, "Will you be back for lunch?"

"I'll come back and tell you if I found my Dad." I nod, "Thank you for breakfast it was delicious."

"Oh!" Rodger calls as I tie my shoes, "little Timmy's run off somewhere. Some little kid scared him. If you see him today can you try to get him to come home?"

I frown. A "little kid" scared him. If Rodger and Janet only remember seeing the "adult" me, then how come the younger me was remembered.

"Sure thing..." I trail off.

...

I walk back to the abandoned house and meet Old Lady Dithers, who's fast asleep on the arm chair with a computer terminal in front of her. After several attempts at waking her and stopping her loud snoring, I touch the Nuka-cola bottle next to the radio, making her jolt up in surprise, "Gah!"

"Morning to you too." I smirk, looking at my watch, "good sleep in?"

She bats my wrist away, "I see the avatar exchange worked. You're welcome... whippersnapper."

"You did this?"

"Yeah. People were getting suspicious with your advanced vocabulary."

"Thanks... how?"

She shrugs, "Best I don't try to explain it. The short of it is the pod does a scan of your body before you enter the simulation. I just added some stuff to make it easier for you to move around."

"Like a leg." I smirk.

"Don't get too confident. He still controls this place. Just because you're you doesn't mean he can't kill you when it suits him."

"Hmph." I cross my arms and shrug, "I have friends on the outside. He does anything to me... they'll find out."

She sighs and tosses me a notepad, "Get to work."

"What? Why me?"

She rolls her eyes and walks out, shutting the door behind her.

...

"Fuck!" I yell, hurling the notepad against the wall. Two weeks! Two damn weeks of trying to get this stupid code right. Every day it's the same thing. Wake up, eat breakfast, listen to Rodger get a hard on for the war effort, go into the abandoned house and try to fix the code. Betty is getting increasingly impatient with me. My constant refusals to play his games drive him insane, I still have no clue why he hasn't killed me yet. Timmy's parents found him at a recruiting station a few days ago. I don't know what's funnier, an eight year old trying to sign up for a war to prove his manliness, or the fact that I was actually used to the idea of kids fighting using firearms. I miss my friends, and music, and the heat. I feel claustrophobic occasionally, like my body's reacting to the pod. I swear I can smell it sometimes, metal and plastic, with a hint of latex and leather from the chair. For some reason my desperate struggle for Amata has... died out. My brain's starting to numb itself to the memories I have with her, like it's a drug I've grown immune to. I feel sluggish too. I'm sure I've repeated the last few code combinations at least five times. My thought process has gone to shit, like my brain's been turned into a thickish sludge.

I walk out of the abandoned house and bump into something soft and silky. I catch a whiff of strong exotic perfume and I hear a quiet giggle, "Whoopsie."

"Uh... oh! Um... sorry." I stumble, stepping back and scratching the back of my head. Smooth kid, smooth.

The girl in front of me can't be more than 22. Typical Old World outfit, curly brown hair, freckles pink dress etc etc. It just makes her so... Devine. Ugh, Amata think of Amata. Last thing I need when I get out of here is Amata on my ass asking if I hooked up. Goddamn Amata, always on my ass about everything. Never giving me a private moment.

"I'm Cindy." the girl giggles, "I'm Rodger and Janet's neice."

"Oh um... cool. My name's Winter."

"Oooh, such a rare name." she smiles.

"Thanks I guess." I shrug, "where are you staying?"

"With you silly. Rodger said that I could hang out with you."

"Uh..." I tuck the notepad into my back pocket, "yeah we can do that."

She squeals in a way that makes my neck hair stand up and a grin cross my face, "What do you want to do?"

She shrugs, "I like dancing."

I pull a face, "I uh... I don't dance..."

"Not even a little? Even for me?"

"Is there even a place to dance here? Why don't we just go get some lemonade or something."

She tuts, "I thought a veteran would be up for a little more... excitement."

"Veteran?" oh god what's happened to my history now.

"Uncle Rodger told me about how you hurt your leg. Come on, I can show you a good time."

"I thought I was the one showing YOU around?" I smirk.

"Oh don't be a smartass Blue Eyes."

My eyes widen at the memory of Amata that suddenly swarms my mind. I push it away and shrug innocently, "It's in my nature..."

"How about we sneak out after 11? I know a few places. Uncle told me you were on a stealth team... you obviously know a few things about keeping quiet."

"I know my way around the shadows." Well that's an ugly lie.

She giggles and pecks my cheek, "See you at 11."

I glance at Betty, who's watering flowers and whistling to herself.

"Hmph..." I grumble.

...

"Wake up..." a soft honey voice purrs in my ear. I lift up my head to look at the shadow beside my bed, but fingers glide through my hair and gently rest my head back on the pillow.

"Shh..."

"Su-"

"Shh!" she whispers, "you ready?"

I take the blankets off me, having collapsed into bed with an exhausted mind without bothering to get changed.

"I guess I am." I rub my eyes and cough as I get up.

She giggles, "This is exciting. Show me those marine sneak moves."

I creep down the hallways of the house with Cindy hot on my tail. Sneaking out was easy, Rodger's snoring blocked out the door opening and closing.

"Follow me." she giggles, skipping along the pavement, her sandals slapping along the concrete pavement, "do you have a sweetheart Winter?"

"No. Why?" I shrug, "I mean, I exchanged a few letters to a girl when I was in Anchorage but-"

"Oh you like girls?"

"Yeah."

"Sexy."

I raise an eyebrow at her tone of voice, but she doesn't look back at me.

Cindy pushes me into the abandoned house and shuts the door behind her.

"OK we aren't supposed to be in-"

She shoves me against the wall and shoves her mouth against mine, teeth and all. A small part of my brain calls back to the beautiful Hispanic girl waiting for me back in reality, but my brain completely shuts down. My body weighs a million tonnes and it's a struggle to stay on my feet. I don't even kiss back, but she doesn't even mind. She shoves me against the armchair and the second I hit the cushion I black out.

...

I groan as I wake up, staring up at the rotating ceiling fan and the light. The room is in complete disarray and my legs, palms and back itch like crazy. Cindy is asleep next to me, clinging onto me.

"Oh of fucking course," I groan when I notice we're both naked and my mouth has a very familiar aftertaste. I slap my palm against my forehead and pound my other hand against the floor, "Stupid stupid stupid."

I don't remember anything. I honestly don't. But the evidence is there. I can feel the familiar sting of scratches on my back, the itch on my neck from hickeys, my disheveled hair, my aching limbs, my ripped clothes. What have I done?

I sit up and rub my eyes, which makes her stir. She stretches out like a cat and keeps that constant smile on her face, "Morning Bright Eyes."

"Oh god please don't call me that."

"What?"

"Bright Eyes or Blue Eyes, please don't call me that."

She chuckles and kisses my side, "You aren't a morning person."

"I'm sorry it isn't your fault." I sigh and start to get dressed.

She rolls into her stomach and chuckles, "Somehow I expect you aren't exactly overjoyed about last night."

"I don't remember anything about last night." I say awkwardly.

"Hmph." she grunts, "I thought you'd remember when you broke the pitcher-"

"I did WHAT?!" I yell, tripping over my pants.

"Yeah you kicked a pitcher over and cracked it in half."

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit," I gasp, grabbing onto the pitcher, "oh SHIT!"

"Relax it isn't that bad. They cost like 75 cents."

"Oh my god. Oh no." I gasp, grabbing fistfuls of my hair, "oh fuck oh fuck... oh no... oh hell no."

"Relax. You look like you're about to have a heart attack."

I feel winded and I drop to my knees, "No... that isn't fair." tears well in my eyes and I bow my head, "that isn't fair."

"Shhh..." she whispers, slipping her arms around my middle and kissing my neck, an action that makes my skin crawl.

"Get off me!" I yell, pushing her off my back. She falls back against her clothes and scowls, that smile now gone and acid in her voice, "Excuse me?"

I ignore her and sprint into the kitchen, throwing open any pantries and drawers I can find. I grab some masking tape and attach the two halves together desperately. I turn around and bump into Cindy.

"Move!" I yell, dodging her and putting the pitcher back in its original position and activating it. A loud beeping noise comes on and I collapse onto the ground, practically convulsing in relief, "Oh thank fuck... oh my god..."

"Yeah... I really don't want to know what your obsession with this is-" Cindy trails off, before her voice turns into a German, male one, "but it's in vain."

"Oh for fuck's sake!" I yell, standing up and glaring at Cindy, "who the fuck are you?!"

He- she smirks and folds his arms, "Your mistress."

"Go fuck yourself Adolf."

He scoffs, "You forget that I have access to your memories. To everything you have ever held dear. You do realize I can morph your entire life into whatever I want. I can delete your memories of your father, your knowledge of your mother, every combat skill you've ever learned. I can make you piss you pants right now if I wanted. Hell, if you piss me off I can give you a brain hemorrhage. So please, shut the fuck up and get in line."

I snarl.

"But you won't," he smirks, "you're too stubborn to see reason. You deny when someone has you by the balls. I am god here. And you're arguing with me. You won't get out of here Winter Daniels. So vulnerable, so emotionally weak. I spent the past two weeks preying on your mind, weakening it, numbing it. I cut off your emotional responses to your lost intimate memories and amplified your hostility to what made you angry. I enjoyed every moment I had. A brain as young and as fresh as yours, so full of memories and promise and skills. It's been so long since I've had a fresh prisoner other than those ignorant pricks outside. It's a shame. Every task you completed, you got stronger, honing your skills. And you threw it all away for such a petty emotion like revenge. You'll never save your father. You'll never pet that stupid mutt. And... my personal favorite that makes me sleep nice and easy at night... you'll never fuck that Hispanic puta again."

"You're fucking dead!" I yell, smashing my fist against Cindy's jawline. The force of my punch sends her flying onto the floor and she lays still for a few seconds, before picking herself up.

"You can't do that." she scowls in a little girl voice, "now you'll have to pay."

I hear a loud bang and I'm blinded by a sudden flash of light, as well as my ears ringing. My arms and legs feel like they're on fire, like every tendon in my body is about to snap.

"Amata..." I mumble, my brain frying.

I stir awake to a strong smell of strawberries. Amata's smell before the Wasteland took it away.

"Hey," I feel her voice whisper against my ear, "wake up sleepy head."

I groan and turn my head and move my head to touch her, my hands meet cold metal. I feel something metallic flooding my mouth and I spit out a mouthful of blood. I realize I'm clinging onto the radio and I numbly reach for the notepad.

"Don't bother." Cindy smirks, kicking my hand and tossing the notepad away from my grasp.

"Fuck you." I cough, standing up on wobbly feet, "I'll fucking kill you."

"So stubborn, so determined."

Cindy pokes my chest, which is enough for my body to fall down.

"Want to learn something cute?" he smiles, pressing a foot against my chest. He clicks his fingers and I hear a deafening ring.

"Winter!" Amata gasps, "baby hold on..."

I cough up blood, "Amata..."

"Hmph." he smirks, "sounds like she wants you."

"Amata..." I groan, grasping Cindy's leg, "Amata..."

"You almost had it. You had the solution in your hands this morning and you didn't even stop to think."

I look at the pitcher and cough, looking at the tape around it. I squirm and twist and spit, blood pouring from my mouth in spits and coughs. In a final fight for victory, I twist 180 degrees and I punch Cindy's crotch. She yelps and I grab the nuka-cola bottle and smash it as hard as I possibly can against her skull.

"Fuck..." I gasp as I hear a clicking noise. I break the pitcher as Cindy lies unconsious beneath be, I break it by throwing it against her. Every other object is broken over her face or chest. I start coughing and look at the terminal appearing before my eyes.

I stagger towards it and access the terminal. Inside's a collection of documents, dossiers, passwords... and a fail safe. I activate it while skimming through the briefing. Soldiers will come to destroy this suburban paradice. Their deaths will be short and painless. Chinese soldiers never were ones for torturing when it wasn't necessary. "These people... this is their sweet release you piece of shit." I growl at Cindy's corpse, "they need death. Not this torture."

I activate it and suddenly everything goes black. I hear gunfire, but it grows fainter as a white light approaches and I hear a dog barking.

I snap my eyes open as the pod releases. All the pain is gone, no blood on my face or coming from my mouth.

"Amata?!" I yell, flinging myself out of the chair and crashing onto the cold metal floor. Well, back to this one legged reality. "Amata where are you?!"

"Winter?!" she cries.

I pull myself up and support myself with the pod. She sees me and flings herself at my chest.

I gasp, crashing down and hugging her tightly, "fucking Christ!"

"You take your time you idiot!" she laughs, "I thought you'd never get out of there!"

"I had it covered honey. I had it covered." I chuckle, "I thought you knew better by now."

She smiles and rests her forehead against mine, "I know."

I almost burst into tears as I hug her. Fucking Adolf just HAD to fuck up the only thing I live for didn't he? Well... it was partly my fault anyway.

"Winter?"

"Dad?" I frown, lightly easing Amata off me, but she still sits in my lap. He walks around a pod and frowns at me.

"W-what are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the Vault!"

"E... Excuse me?"

"I-it's so good to see you but- what were you thinking?!"

"Winter-" Amata gasps as I push all of her body off me.

"You son of a bitch!" I yell, jumping up and smashing my fist against his jaw. I was falling before I made the punch, but I managed to get a clean hit in, "What were you thinking?!"

"Winter settle down!" Amata gasps, pinning me down.

"You fucking BASTARD! You almost killed us! You-"

"Shh..." my father puts his finger to my lips, "be quiet sweetheart."

I feel Amata's leg hitting my phantom limb.

"I'll fucking knock you out you sonofabitch!" I scream, "don't you fucking patronize me!"

"Winter for god's sake calm down!" Amata yells, pinning me down, "calm down honey please!"

I feel a sharp stinging pain in my left arm and suddenly my eyelids become extremely heavy.

"Amata," I groan, "don't... let him..."

...

"Hey hon,"

"Mmph?" I mumble.

"Thought you were coming around. How're you feeling?"

"Where is he?" I growl, opening my eyes.

"Shh... relax..." I feel her hands run up and down my shoulders and the sides of my neck, "easy..."

"I'll relax later. Where is he?"

"We'll make a deal. I'll tell you where he is, once you're nice and calm, and non violent."

"Amata he-"

"Is very, very, very upset and depressed over your leg."

"Do I look like I give a shit?"

"He's suicidal."

I roll my eyes, "Perfect. Can never have a peaceful day can I?"

"I'm sorry honey."

I sigh, "I thought that I'd never see you again. I thought I'd be trapped forever in that stupid pod."

"But you weren't. How many times are we going to scrape past death?" she chuckles.

I gaze up at her and smile, "I'd have money on this not being our last time."

"Stop looking at me like that." she smiles.

I chuckle and tuck my forearm behind my head, still gazing up at her, "It's really good to see you Amata."

"You're calm now?"

I nod, smiling as she kisses my forehead, "It's good to see you too Winter."

"I better go sort out Dad..." I trail off. Amata smiles and helps me up, "Do you need anything?"

"Water and pills for a headache." I smile and slide on my crutches, "where am I?"

"Megaton. Your Dad is in Rivet City under watch from Doctor Li."

"Oh well fuck that." I sigh, rolling onto bed, "I'll see him tomorrow."

"What the hell!? No we're going now! He's your family!"

"Amata come on, it's a long walk."

"Honey he's your father! Doesn't that mean anything to you?!"

"Amata please, I don't want to argue with you."

She shakes her head, "I can't believe you sometimes."

"Oh for fucks sake! He took away my fucking leg!"

"No! A LANDMINE took your leg Winter Daniels! A fucking LANDMINE did!"

"I should be fucking fixing busted Pip boys right now!" I yell, "working on the Vault's reactor! Not crawling my way through dead bodies and dirt to just SCRAPE past six months of hell because he decided to piss off!"

"Stop fucking blaming everything on him! He didn't mean for this to happen!"

"I'm sorry! I just... I'm sorry. I... I never wanted this for you."

Amata sighs and runs a hand through her hair, "I'm sorry. Look... this, right now. This isn't anybody's fault but just sheer fucked up luck."

I sit down on the bed and sigh. Amata sits beside me pecks my cheek and rests her head against my shoulder, "We're hopeless aren't we?"

I sigh, "We'll figure something out. We have too."

"I know."

"At least something good came out of this."

"Like what?"

"I can do this," she gently turns my head and kisses my lips. I smile and slowly wrap my arms around her, before breaking away. I look into her sleepy brown eyes, alive and almost alight as she looks at me. I kiss her again and savor every second. I adore how she holds onto me and shifts a bit so her legs drape around mine. A time will come to tell her about Cindy... just not now.

"I love you Amata," I whisper.

"I love you Winter," she sighs happily, "no matter how many times I have to yell at you."

I chuckle and stand up, "I guess I have to go clean up this mess now?"

"You don't have to..." she says gently, "if you're still tired we can wait."

"No. I have to." I sigh.

She sighs and flops onto the bed onto her back, "Yeah I suppose we better go."

I pull on my belt and holster and peck her lips and murmur, "I'll make it up to you later."

I casually walk downstairs and get Dogmeat.

...

"Winter," Li gasps, hugging me, "thank god you're here."

"Is he alive?" I say, trying my best to act on some emotions.

She points at the couch with a blanket covering a bulge.

"Is that him?"

She nods, "He's messed up Winter."

I turn to Amata, "Give us a minute?"

She nods and pecks my cheek, "I'll find something to eat."

I walk up at the blanket and pull it away, "Get up."

Dad opens his eyes, his red bloodshot eyes, "Winter?"

"Yeah. Don't kill yourself. Please."

"Hmph." he coughs, sitting up.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

He looks up at me, his eyes swimming in tears, "Oh forgive me!" he sobs, jumping up and hugging me, "oh Winter my beautiful girl!"

"Woah!" I gasp as he squeezes me, "get off me!"

"What happened to your voice? Your eyes your... your leg?"

"Dad come on don't make a stupid scene."

"You're ruined. Oh my god why did you leave the Vault?"

"Just relax OK? Jesus Christ!" I whisper as I look around at the people watching us, "now listen. I need you to pull yourself together if we're going to have a calm and rational conversation. Sound good?"

He sighs and nods, rubbing his damp eyes and sniffing.

We borrow Li's apartment, much to Dad's reluctance. He's changed his filthy Vault jumpsuit for a shirt and pants, but he still hasn't washed or bothered to shave. He sits down on the couch and I sit on the coffee table in front of him. Dad keeps rubbing his face and staring at my hip, shaking his head in disbelief and mouthing things I cannot understand. His eyes look at my leg again and he finally speaks, "How?"

"Landmine." I say flatly, "how could you do this to me?"

"I thought it best at the time. Had I of known that you were going to follow me I wouldn't have gone at all."

"You didn't leave me any choice. Alphonse was calling for my head. How did you not think of that minor little detail?"

"I imagined your relationship with Susie would have gotten you some leeway if things did turn sour."

"Why didn't you at least TALK to me about this?"

"Because I brought you to the Vault to protect you from this!"

"Stop looking at my leg."

"You were happy there. You were in love and you were living the life I had wanted you to live. The... conversations we had... you made it clear that you didn't need me babying over you anymore... by the way, does Susie know about you and Amata?"

"How can I when we got fucking kicked out?!"

"Winter... we need to talk about this."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. Winter, I'm a scientist, but above all I'm a man of god-"

"Nope." I say, standing up sharply, "we aren't having a religious conversation. Again."

"Where are you going?"

"We'll talk later when you aren't acting like a dick."

I walk into the hotel room and I grin like a child on Christmas, "Fuckin'-a! Ha HA!"

Amata frowns when I completely bypass her but I keep moving.

"Motherfuckin' SCOTCH!" I yell, grabbing the bottle, ripping off the cap and taking a drink, "oh damn that's a good burn."

"Woah you look... stressed out."

I shake my head, "Nah I'm fine. Just really needed a drink was all."

"You aren't going to turn into an abusive alcoholic are you?" she giggles.

"Only if you ask nicely," I tease, taking another sip and putting the glass back, "where's Dogmeat? I'm gonna give him a-"

"No. No you aren't." she smiles, tugging at my shirt as I take a step towards the bathroom.

"Come on Amata I'm not in the mood."

She pouts and hugs my waist, "That bad huh?"

"It wasn't that bad." I shrug, "just... frustrating. He's useless in a fight as well."

"How the hell did he get all the way across the Wasteland then?! Six months we were gone, how many things did we kill?"

I laugh and shrug again.

"It doesn't matter..." she smiles, sliding off my shirt, "just close your eyes and clear your mind."

I close my eyes and laugh, "Pft..."

Amata sighs and kisses my lips and neck, before I start to unbutton her shirt.

...

I yell as I wake up, jolting up and my eyes wide. My body's dripping in sweat and my eyes are swimming in tears. I look to my left and see Amata is still asleep beside me. I rub my face and wipe away tears. I can't get that little kid out of my head. I didn't want to shoot him, I had to but it isn't like I wanted to for fuck's sake. Then there's that stupid Vault 112 shit, that's a nightmare for when I'm awake. I look at Amata and sigh, before lying back down. She subconsciously curls next to me and whimpers to herself. I look down at Dogmeat, who's looking back at me with his tongue hanging out. I pat the bed and he jumps up beside me and settles down.

"Winter?" Amata whispers, arms tightening around me.

"Mmm?"

She smiles and rests her head against my shoulder, "I thought you'd gone somewhere."

I peck her lips before she growls at me, "Why is Dogmeat on the bed?"

I chuckle, "Because his paws are sore. He's just at my feet don't worry."

"I swear if he licks my face you'll pay for it." she smiles, closing her eyes again.

I sigh and drop the arm around her waist, "Amata... I-"

She covers my mouth with her hand when she hears my tone of voice, "No. It can wait."

She puts my arm back around her and moves as close to me as she can.

...

I frown as I wake up and roll onto my side, my hand lightly falling across Amata's waist. I open my eyes and smile when she strokes my hair, "Morning Bright Eyes."

"Morning beautiful," I yawn, nuzzling her tricep, "happy birthday."

"Thank you. Where's my present?"

"Last night WAS your present." I smirk.

She pouts, "Doesn't count. You didn't tell me that was my present before you gave it to me."

"Ha! 'Gave it to me'," I laugh.

"Ugh... I swear it's like I'm dating a child..." she mumbles, rubbing her eyes.

I untangle myself from the bed sheets and shrug, "You could've said 'no' to me at any time."

"Like I would."

"OK so..." I sigh, throwing on some clothes, "Li needs me in the Science Lab."

"Mmmhmm." she trails off, curling up in the bed and nuzzling my pillow, "sure she does. You're a horrible liar Winter."

I grin, "Think of it as a safety net. I can never lie to you."

"So I'm just going to lie in bed?"

"That's my plan." I smile, planting an ice cold Nuka Cola on the bedside table.

"I promise I won't follow you." she smiles.

"I'll be back soon. Don't freak out or anything."

"Love you," she smiles.

"Love you too princess." I softly kiss her temple and she tries to push me back onto the bed.

"Let me go," I smirk, "I'm all yours for the rest of the day the second I get back."

"Be ready then Daniels." she teases, softly kissing and pecking various areas of my face and neck.

I reluctantly pull away from her and sit up, "I'll be back soon."

"I'll be waiting," she smiles, curling against my pillow again.

It's all I can do not to kiss her again, but I know when I do I'll never let myself get out of bed for the rest of the day.

...

**Well holy shit. I HATED writing this chapter. Even with its length don't think for a second it was fun. I wrote this chapter around 3 or 4 times with massively different endings to each one. This actually was going to be the "finale" of this story and I would start writing sequels now, but I'll delay the sequels for a few more chapters. **

**Anyways, I apologize for this being late as hell but I wasn't happy with this chapter for a long time and I only fixed it to something "respectable" yesterday. I shouldn't really complain, I didn't like Tranquility Lane in the game so it'd make sense that I didn't like writing it, but James had to be somewhere right? Enjoy it at least :-) **

**Leave a review and I'll see you guys later. **


	18. Pinkerton

Amata gasps as I eventually break contact with her, "I fuckin' love you."

I laugh and gather her up in my arms, pressing my lips against her cheek and temple, "You look like you're going to pass out 'Mata."

"I might," she laughs coyly, playing with my sweaty, messy hair with her fingertips, "What time is it?"

I sigh and knock on my pip-boy, "I really hate this oversized watch."

"The map's a dream with metros." she murmurs, using my bicep as a pillow and twirling our fingers together, "are you gonna talk to your dad in the morning?"

"Probably." I shrug, smiling down at her as she closes her eyes.

"Do I get my present now?"

I laugh and rest my forehead against hers, "Now?"

"Now." she smirks with a fake stern tone.

I roll onto my side and grab the small backpack, "I hope you like it."

"It's a present from you. How can I not like it?"

I hand her the bag and she opens it, rummaging around and slowly sliding out a silver necklace with a heart on it.

"Oh my god..." she stutters, "I... I... it's beautiful."

"You like it?"

She nods, tears in her eyes and she kisses me passionately.

"This has probably been my favorite birthday. Ever," she giggles as I pepper her with kisses and tickle her, "the whole day, just us in bed together. You mean everything to me Blue Eyes."

"You mean everything to me too princess."

She pulls the blanket over us and I kiss her a final time, "Happy birthday beautiful."

6 weeks later

"Fucking hell!" I gasp, shooting out of bed and panting hard. Another night, another nightmare. Every night my brain is plagued by dreams, memories of Tranquility Lane and the horrors of it all. I didn't even say goodbye to Jennifer. I'd barely known the woman, and I'd ended her life as with all the other residents of Tranquility Lane. Their lives for my father's and mine. If that wasn't plaguing my mind as I slept, the woman I had slept with was. One morning Amata complained that I was squirming in my sleep, wincing and calling for her. I made up some bullshit lie on the spot, but in reality I kept having dreams of Cindy. I found myself lying in bed at night, my mind debating whether or not it was considered cheating.

Adolf had fucked with my mind, numbed it and changed my memories. While all of this had been undone, it still left a bitter mark of betrayal. The scary part? It didn't at all affect my relationship with Amata.

I don't feel a stab of guilt when she tells me she loves me, I have no qualms in touching her and sleeping with her. Don't get me wrong, my feelings for her haven't dimmed in the slightest, neither has my respect for her. She still means the world to me, I just physically cannot feel any pain or regret for what I did. And I hate myself for it. I hate myself because I don't hate myself for accidentally sleeping with a young American woman who was actually an aging German man using the avatar of that young American woman who had tampered with my emotional state and memories while in a over 200 year old simulation of a Old World American suburb in a pod with a Chinese Communist Assault Force as a fail safe device. Heh... my mind is fucked.

I roll over and look at Amata, her back to me and her shoulder slowly rising and falling as she breathes. Vera Weatherly had happily given us a free room for bringing Bryan to safety, so it was nice to have a room in Rivet City, Amata having a much larger reaction to the news than was socially tolerable.

I sigh and rest my head against her shoulder blade, feeling guilty for not feeling guilty. I know the second I wake up tomorrow I will forget all about this. I'll just carry on with my busy day, completely forget, then spend my nights lying awake, thinking like a bastard. I close my eyes, breathing in Amata's smell and sighing as I fight to kick back the thoughts that plague me every. Single. Night.

...

I stir awake to an empty bed. I yawn and lift my head up and look around, "Amata?" I roll out of bed and make myself look decent and scowl at my growing scruffy hair, "Goddammit this needs to get cut."

The room shows signs of Amata's moving around, brushes have been used, the shower's wet, a towel was tossed on the floor and her pistol is gone from its spot beside mine. Dogmeat's gone too, but it doesn't worry me.

I slide on some sunglasses and groan at the various pulled muscles around my body and the clicks from my joints.

I find Amata in the science lab, sitting cross legged on a desk. I walk up to her and slip my arms around her middle and peck her cheek, "Morning."

She flinches a bit in surprise but I feel her relax almost immediately and she smiles at me, "Morning."

"Why didn't you wake me?" I grin against her neck.

"You looked so cute. Besides you're a pain in the ass to wake up."

I hear someone clearing his throat and I ease off her, "Oh. Hey Dad."

"Can I talk to you please?"

"I really don't feel like it so early in the day."

"Now please." he says firmly.

Dad and I have had a... "difficult" relationship these past six weeks. We never really did get along much from when I was a teenager. I was a stubborn kid, still am... according to Amata. We've sat down to talk around a dozen times, and I'll admit that I'm an impatient idiot during all of them. I keep expecting the same talk, one involving safety or Amata or both. It makes me have a short fuse and very irritable during said conversations. I squirm in my seat, I shift around, I'll do anything but listen. Every talk ends in a heated argument, and heated argument ends with me storming out and getting drunk at the bar. He expects me to stay with him in the lab, and it frustrates him when I'm out practicing swimming or messing around with Dogmeat at the flight deck.

"What?" I sigh irritably as he drags me away.

"You and Amata need to calm down a bit."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean- did you ever even stop to think about what you're doing? You're sleeping with Amata!"

I giggle, "Yes... I... am. So what?"

"How long has this been going on?"

I cross my arms, "I'm sorry. When was my love life your business?"

"Is it love?"

I growl, "How dare you? You have no right to judge us. Let me get one thing straight. I love her. I love her more than I've ever loved Susie. She means the world to me, and frankly, I don't give a flying fuck what you or your stupid fucking book think."

I move away from him and walk back to Amata, who shakes her head.

"What?" I frown.

"You need to be more patient."

I sigh, "I'm done being patient."

She shrugs and nuzzles my neck, "What do you want to do today?"

"I want to poke around the other side of the Rivet City."

"Oh yeah I forgot about the android." she sighs, pecking my lips, "I love you."

"Love you too." I smile.

"Hmph." Dad scowls as he walks by us.

"Nope!" she growls as I open my mouth to respond. She pushes me toward the door and I struggle on my crutches.

"Hey!" Zimmer yells, "god dammit where is my damn android?!"

"Woah! I've been busy!"

"Listen to me! I need him now!"

"Settle the fuck down!" I gasp, "I'll find your stupid android."

"Do it or your pay will cut itself in half!"

"If you wouldn't mind," Amata says smoothly, "we've agreed to find your android, and we will do our best to find him. Forgive us if we do not work to your expectations, but we have a few handicaps. We will examine the hull of the ship today. Until we can give you the android, I suggest you stay in the corner and keep to yourself."

I raise an eyebrow at Amata as Zimmer scowls.

"The lower hull holds a plastic surgeon called Pinkerton," Zimmer mutters, "do your job and visit him! It's a lead! Go for it!"

"Relax we got it covered." I sigh.

...

"OK." I trail off, looking at the lower hull of the ship, the entry flooded with water, "so... do you think you can do this?"

"I'm more worried about you." Amata sighs.

"We need the money. I think I'll only need one crutch for this. God knows what's down there. I want to be able to get a quick draw for my revolver."

"I'll be right behind you." she says.

"OK..." I nod, taking in a few deep breaths before diving into the water.

I faintly hear Amata crashing into the water beside me. I swim toward the door and tug at the latch, the door swinging open. Air bubbles hurl out of it and I surface for air.

"Still want to do this?" I cough.

She nods and I swim back down. We enter the hull and Amata swims behind me. We find a small pocket of air and we take a breath, before diving under, avoiding old rusted tin cans as we go.

The place looks deserted as we travel in and out of the water, making our way through the corridors. The entire section of the ship stinks of decomposing fish, it almost makes me gag. I have my revolver in my hand as I peer over a corner. I see a Mirelurk walking around the area next to the staircase and I swiftly get out of sight.

"Mirelurk," I whisper to Amata. She flinches and takes a step back. A Mirelurk's shell is generally too strong for a bullet to pass through. The general strategy is to shoot its face, but it's a small section of the Mirelurk's body. I glance behind me and spot a tin can. I grab it and hurl it at the Mirelurk. The tin can hits it in the back and splashes onto the water. It turns around and I shoot it in the face. The yellowish-white blood spurts from the wound I made, and it collapses onto the water.

"God they smell so much," Amata gasps, "I think I'm gonna puke..."

"Just don't do it on me." I say, looking up at the stair case. I hear splashing and I turn to see Amata emptying her stomach into the water, "Damn! I thought you were joking!" I laugh, reaching over and holding her pony tail.

She gags and wipes her mouth, glaring at me, "Fuck you Winter."

"Oh relax," I hand her some water, "you OK?"

She nods and I start climbing the stair case, "This fucking android'd better be worth it."

"This is just a lead. For all we know Pinkerton might not be here."

"He better be," she grunts as we climb higher into the ship, "I HATE throwing up."

The smell actually improves the higher we climb. Smell of rotting fish is replaced with latex and total chaos of random objects is replaced with empty corridors.

"This could mean something..." I trail off, "I think we should be OK here."

"I don't know. Latex always makes me nervous."

"All those condom talks with Daddy went to waste didn't they?" I flash my torch down a corridor.

"I wonder how many times I have to tell you to go fuck yourself today?" she ponders to herself as I creep down the corridor.

"Time and place baby," I chuckle, opening another door, "time and place."

...

"Oh woah...!" I grin, "check this out!"

The man's lab is fucking bizarre. Photos hang from the walls of Old World war propaganda, old models, war time uniforms and an actual Vault-Tec banner.

"Here we go..." Amata sighs as I look at some old war magazines, "he's going to kill you for touching his stuff."

Ugh. Always ruining the fun.

"I'll be careful. We aren't here to ransack the place."

"He doesn't know that does he, genius? What's he going to think when he walks in and sees a 19 year old with one leg looking through a war magazine."

"I'd think 'Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my lab?!'"

"Oh for fuck's sake," I groan as I hear the click of a gun.

"Who are you?" a frail old man growls, pointing a gun at me.

"Easy. We're friendly," I say calmly, "friends. Amigos."

"Step away from the magazines. Keep your hands where I can see them."

I step away and raise my hands up to my shoulder height. He grabs my revolver and tosses it onto a desk and keeps the gun pointed at my face, "What are you doing here?"

"We're here just to ask questions. That's it. We don't work for anyone. We heard you can do facial reconstruction."

He takes a look at me and sighs, looking at the gun, "I'm sorry kid. It's been a while since I've... I'm sorry."

I shrug, trying to calm myself down, even though I'm fucking on edge about having a gun in my face, "No problem. S'OK to protect yourself. You're Pinkerton right?"

"Yeah," he frowns, "Why are you here?"

"We heard that you might have done work on an android a while ago."

"Yes. And no, I can't do the same to you." he says firmly, "it's too dangerous."

"I'm not an android..." I trail off.

"No. You aren't. I meant the limb prosthetic."

"Woah what?" Amata gasps.

"Oh! The android!" he nods, suddenly changing the subject, "yes I can give information about the android."

"Fuck the android! You do limb prosthetics!" Amata yells.

Pinkerton sighs and walks to a cabinet. He opens it and produces a fake plastic right leg.

"Uh... how long have you been collecting fake limbs?" I trail off.

"It'll be difficult for an amputation as advanced as yours, but we might be able to create a detachable prosthetic limb."

"Oh my god." I gasp, grabbing at the leg, "gimmie gimmie gimmie!"

"Not so fast." he smirks, pulling it away, "1000 caps."

"WHAT?!" Amata yells, "1000 bucks for an amputee to walk again?! Are you FUCKING STUPID?!"

"You're right. It's 2500."

"You listen to me right now," Amata growls, grabbing Pinkerton's jacket, "you're going to get her a new leg. Now. I'm not dragging her corpse out of a fucking ditch because your greedy ass won't give her the leg and she gets shot or bitten by something. I'll make it easy for you."

"Woah!" I gasp as Amata pulls a gun on him, "Amata no! Back off!"

"You aren't dying at 20!" she growls at me, "you're getting that leg. Today."

"... Amata...? Are you feeling OK?"

She shakes her head and glares at Pinkerton, "I'm asking nicely."

"Amata drop the fucking gun!" I yell.

"Fine! I'll do it for fucking free!" Pinkerton yells, throwing his hands in the air, "fucking leeches! But listen, this needs to be done in a sterile clinic, here will do. But it will take a few days for everything to fit you, and even then it might not be perfect."

"OK..." I trail off.

"Alright."

Pinkerton starts to take measurements on me as he talks.

"Had an android come in here a while ago, a while being a few years. Came to me screaming and whining about being an escaped slave. He asked me to do some facial reconstruction and do a memory wipe, implementing some others as a replacement. Wasn't exactly my idea of a fun job but hey the caps were good. How did you lose your leg?"

"Landmine," I sigh, before looking up at Amata from where I'm sitting on the table, "do you have to look like my body guard for this?"

She stands with her arms crossed, but when I say something she immediately relaxes, almost startled, "Sorry. I was a million miles away. He's watching his hands right?"

"Calm down Amata, Jesus." I laugh, looking down at Pinkerton, "sorry. She's jealous."

She scowls and leans so she can get a view of his examination.

I laugh again, "I'm wearing underwear Amata."

"I know." she nods rapidly.

"You're very casual for someone who had a gun on me." Pinkerton mutters.

"I'm so sorry about that. It's just... it's been a really bad few months. We were on the road for a long time and we've had a few close calls." Amata stutters and tries to throw together the apology.

He grumbles something and stands up, "OK. Come back in a few days I should have the leg ready. I'll have all the information on the android too when you come back."

...

We don't say a word to each other as we leave through the top part of the ship, tying a rope around Amata's waist and a pole, Amata making the jump and tying her end of the rope to another pole. I climb across and we leave it there for future reference. It's only when we go into our room that Amata hugs me.

"Whoa hey," I smile, "easy..."

She grins up at me and pecks my lips, "This might be good. This could be amazing!"

"This could be a dud," I say gently, "we can't get our hopes up."

"Winter come on. This is a LEG!"

"A fake artificial one." I sigh, sitting down on the bed and unlacing my shoe.

"Come on honey..." she whispers, lying down beside me.

I look back at her and smile, reaching over and cupping her cheek, "You're so bossy sometimes."

She whacks my hand away and I stand up, hopping to the shower.

"You're such a pain y'know that?" Amata chuckles as I dry my hair. I walk out, not bothering with clothes as I collapse into bed beside her, stark naked.

"I was gonna say the same to you," I grin, lying on my stomach and kissing up her arm. She giggles and strokes my hair, "But you're so cute."

I purr against her touch and close my eyes.

"I love you. Artificial leg or not," she smiles, "you know that right?"

"Really?"

She smiles and rests her forehead against mine, "Of course. No matter how much of a bitch I am."

I feel her lips touch my temple and I exhale softly, "I love you."

She lies down beside me and slips an arm around my back, hugging me close to her. I curl up in her arms and she whispers words of affection until I manage to fall asleep.

...

3 days later

Amata covers her eyes and I walk out. She wanted it to be a surprise, apparently. I look down at my leg, covered by a pair of jeans and shoes. Pinkerton tossed a half assed attempt at something resembling skin on a knee but it looks at least normal. It's a plastic thigh with a metal knee that Pinkerton said used to be worn by disabled athletes Pre War. It's small enough to fit in my shoe and is curved to accommodate running but not enough to make everything uncomfortable.

Pinkerton and I have spent a few hours practicing with the new leg. Because my amputation's from the hip, it flails a bit. I have to attach the thigh part using a few belts so it moves as I want it to. The lower half attaches to the thigh, that's the part that flails a bit. It's held together strongly with straps but it still isn't like bone and muscle.

"Amata..." I whisper, cupping her cheeks.

She hold back tears and throws her arms around me, clinging onto me tightly, "It's perfect!"

"Jesus..." I tut as she crushes me. It's amazing that a girl a good 10 kilos lighter than me can crush me like she does.

"You may want to stuff some paper or something in your shoe so it doesn't rattle around so much." Pinkerton offers.

"It's amazing. Thank you. So much." I grin, "I owe you my life."

"It's... OK." he smiles, nodding at my leg, "it should be good to go."

I nod and shake his hand, "Thank you."

Amata shakes his hand too, holding back tears and whacking my arm when she notices I'm laughing.

...

"This is gonna be so cool." she giggles.

"I still have a bit of a limp though."

"So?!"

"Good point." I smile, kissing her again, "I love you. But you need to relax a little."

I open the door and walk down the stairs, "Hey Dad. What's going on?"

There have been a few moments in my life out here in the Wasteland that have brought me pure joy and made me laugh so hard my face hurt. The look on my father's face when I walk toward him in a pair of jeans, it's nothing less than priceless.

"Oh... my... god!" he gasps, "h... HOW?!"

I giggle and cover my mouth to hide my hysterical laughter.

He pulls up my pant leg and looks at my shin, "A miracle of technology..."

"Mmhmm. It's pretty good isn't it?"

"Pretty good?! It..." he laughs and wipes his eyes and hugs me.

"Look at that," Li smiles, hugging me, "good as new?"

"More or less. Hey Li, long time no see."

She nods, "Who's fault is that?"

"Mine," I roll my eyes, still smiling.

Amata and I spend the afternoon down in the science lab, eating an early dinner with Dad and Li. She insists on me calling her Madison, but Dad gives me a look that says I should stick with calling her Li.

"I'm going to make the trek to the Project tomorrow. Should be no longer than a half day walk." Dad says, wiping his mouth after finishing his Brahmin steak, "it would mean a lot to me if you would come along Winter. You always said you wanted to know more about your mother."

I look at Amata, who shrugs with a smile on her face.

"Uh... yeah I guess." I nod, "as long as there aren't any systems you need me to calibrate."

He shakes his head, "Not a finger will be lifted on your part. We'll set out first thing tomorrow."

...

I walk out to the entrance of Rivet City carrying my stuff. Dad and Amata are already a good 200 metres away from me, both impatient and eager to explore the lab. So impatient infact that the only words Amata has said to me all day were, "Get up."

We walk for a few hours, running into the occasional radroach or mole rat that Dogmeat easily dispatches. The day has surprised us by not being depressingly hot. My leg works good enough, aside from a few pinches here and there it doesn't have many problems.

Right around late afternoon I walk up to Amata who hands me a water.

I thank her and take a drink and pouring some on my head.

"Stop it," she tuts.

I growl into her ear and kiss her cheek, "Stop me."

"Little miss sneaky." she chuckles.

"Fuck," I mutter, scrunching my eyes tight and blocking Cindy from my mind... again.

She rolls her eyes and holds my hand as we walk.

"You were up early this morning."

"Li needed help with something."

"Then wake me up." I smile.

"You're impossible to wake up. Short of slapping you across the face nothing seems to work."

I poke my tongue out at her and she sighs, "Child."

I smirk and tickle under her chin lightly, my gaze subconsciously wandering away from her and at the horizon, "It's eerily beautiful isn't it?"

She looks at the ruined buildings and cars and nods as I grab my binoculars, "it doesn't make sense. 200 years and no one's bothered to at least start rebuilding."

Amata shrugs and rubs her eyes, "I'm sure they've thought about it. Thing is honey, a massive nuclear holocaust generally takes a while to clean up."

"Why thank you smart ass," I tut, whacking her thigh lightly, "still... I mean- BoS uses the highways-"

"Honestly Winter, if we're really going to sit here and talk about clean up efforts I think I might die of boredom." Amata exhales.

"Oh sorry princess," I rub my eyes, "pain in the ass..."

"I heard that!"

"Good! Maybe you'll- SHIT!"

A bullet skims across the ground around 4 feet away from me and I dart behind cover. Dogmeat starts barking and Amata leaps next to me, Dad following. I peek out of cover and spot three raiders advancing toward us. I fire and hit one in the arm as Amata fires with her pistol.

"Fuckin' die!" one screams.

"I'm gonna flank them," Amata yells over the gunfire, "cover me."

"OK." I nod and she pecks my lips.

I fire at them as she runs around our attackers. She fires her pistol and one turns just in time to see Amata shoot her in the chest. I aim and fire, hitting the final raider in the neck and causing a crimson spurt of blood to jolt up.

"Everyone OK?" I call, stepping away from my cover and bolstering my rifle.

"I'm fine," Dad nods. I check Dogmeat for injuries when I see Amata walking for me with a slight limp.

"Winter I'm hit." Amata grunts, hobbling towards me. I nod and she lies against a rock as I lift up her pant leg.

"No exit wound," I sigh, reaching into my bag and washing the tweezers with a bottle of water, it isn't the most sanitary method but it's better than nothing.

"I can pull it out if-" Dad begins to speak before he's cut off.

"No!" Amata says quickly, "I mean- you have to do it a special way."

"I can assure you I know how to properly remove a bullet."

Amata looks at me with scared eyes and I kiss her forehead, before looking at Dad, "I think I should do it. Go set up camp Dad we'll have to stop here."

"She can't carry on?"

"Well unless you're willing to carry her?" I say bitterly, not taking my eyes off Amata's leg.

He sighs and nods, before sitting down by his sleeping bag.

"Ready?" I ask as I clean her wound as best I can.

"Just try not to drag this out."

I nod and she closes her eyes. I stick the tweezers in her leg and I can hear her stifling moans of agony. Her hand digs into the dirt and her eyes scrunch tight as I move the metal in further.

"Almost got it," I grunt, finding the bullet. I ease it out and wrap a bandage around the wound, smiling up at her, "All gone."

She whacks the back of my head, "Don't patronize me, lefty."

"Hey!" I laugh, "you're on your own next time."

I walk to my bag and start to pack our stuff when Dad grips my arm.

"A moment of your time?" he grunts, wiping his hands free from dirt.

"Depends."

He sighs, "You need to hear this."

I groan and rub my temple, "OK..."

"Amata is leaning on you too much."

I open my mouth to object but he stops, "Listen to me. Believe it or not but I lived out here for years as well."

"Amata knows how to handle herself."

"I'm just saying she tends to get anxious when you aren't around."

"It really isn't your business."

Dad scowls, "So I assume you're always going to act like a child then? Because I was hoping on you acting your age for once. Saying something grown up might be a welcome change?"

"Fuck you, how's that?" I snap, slinging my bag over my shoulders and walking for a reasonable vantage point to the left of our camp, "I'm taking watch."

I sit down and start watch, sliding on sunglasses and starting to eat some Sugar Bomb cereal that I found at the Rivet City market. I like these times just by myself, alone with my thoughts. Well, aside from Tranquility Lane stuff of course.

A few minutes pass as I gaze down at the steep drop past out camp. If you were a sleep walker you could easily wander off and fall down the steep hill without much effort. Worst you would get was a few scratches, but it would mean ripped and filthy clothes. I look to my left and see Amata sit down next to me, keeping her leg elevated as she starts reading a book.

"How's your leg?" I ask.

She looks up at me, "Stings a little bit."

"Want some pain killers?"

"I wish that you two would stop fighting."

I sigh and point at her book, trying to draw her attention to it, "Not now Amata. I'm not in the mood to argue with you."

She smiles and rests her head in my lap, "I ain't got the energy to bother arguing."

"Don't get too comfy. I was going to ask if you were up for moving around."

"Fuck no," she laughs, "you're trying to kill me?"

"Your inability to register sarcasm is killing me." I grin, leaning down and pecking her lips, "meanwhile... I am dying to get him off my ass."

She sighs and rests her nose against my stomach, "You two never really got along much."

"That's just how it went." I shrug, "I'm glad I have you and Dogmeat at least."

"Do you love me Winter?"

"Ugh what did I do?" I groan, "I mean- of course I do..."

"I want you to promise me something."

"Awwww...!" I moan, "can't we have one decent moment out here?"

"Of course we can. Just promise me something."

"Yeah?" I sigh.

"I want us to visit your Dad once a month. Will you do that?"

"Probably not." I yawn.

"Winter you two have to make up at some point."

"I know I know." I sigh and play with her hair, "Just relax today, alright?"

She nods, "I know."

"Rest that leg." I say sternly, "no moving around if you don't think it'll do any good."

"Yes mother," she tuts.

I poke my tongue out at her, before she pulls her jacket over her face and I assume she dozes off.

"Hey."

"Hey," I look out at the wasteland, examining for any chance of raiders.

"I just wanted to say... that I was proud of you, with the way you dealt with Amata's leg."

"Thanks Dad." I look away from the Wasteland and up at him, a hint of a smile on my face.

"Mind if I help keep watch?"

I hand him the binoculars and look down, putting my sunglasses on Amata.

"Where'd you get those?" he frowns.

"Bought 'em. Megaton for 15 caps."

"15 caps? Good deal."

"I figured," I shrug, "... you didn't come up here to talk about sunglasses."

"No... no I didn't."

I sigh, "Out with it."

"Winter you're my daughter. Nothing we say to each other can ever change that. The hardest thing I've ever had to do was leave you behind in that Vault. I realize now that you've made a life for yourself. You have a job and a house at Megaton. But you have intentions of roaming this corpse of a wasteland."

"So what if I-"

"No. Cut the attitude. This isn't a lecture."

"Then what is it?"

"I want you safe, more than anything in the world. Come work on the project with me."

"Come on Dad." I groan, "you can't ask me that."

"Why not?"

"Why do you think?"

"I'm sorry. I just thought... I thought it would make your mother happy, seeing us finishing what she started."

"Mum's dead Dad." I sigh irritably, "come on."

"It doesn't matter. Winter this place will be safe. Rivet City Security will be there to protect us. You will just be working in small maitenence jobs, just as if you were back in the Vault."

"What about Amata?"

"She'll be with you of course. Just no PDA."

I bite my lip, "Dad. Why did you not care so much when I was with Susie?"

He sighs deeply, "Susie Mack... she was harmless enough. I thought that she was a little phase, a rebellious one. I didn't really think you loved her, but then again I never imagined you and Amata as a couple. When I found out about you and two I didn't want to delude myself into thinking you liked men... and that I understand how your head works."

"Susie and I had a different interpretation of love than what was realistic. If you and your girlfriend can crawl through a flooded, muddy Metro filled with god knows what like Amata and I did, get lost for 12 hours, and emerge filthy and not harbor serious murderous feelings toward each other. It's meant to be. Susie and I never really had to test ourselves much."

He chuckles a bit, "I remember doing roughly the same thing with your mother. We had to go into an abandoned school to collect a medical supply drop off."

"Drop off?"

"Don't ask. Anyway the supply drop got snatched by some kids. We had to follow them into a sewer. It wasn't a very fun day."

"I wish I could have met her." I sigh.

"She held you for a while. She thought you were the most beautiful thing in the world."

"What did she like most about me?"

"She loved your eyes."

I chuckle, "Who doesn't?"

He hands me the binoculars and stands up, "I'm proud of you Winter. No matter what you do I'll be proud. Your mother would be too."

"Dad," I sigh, "if something happens to me..."

"Nothing will happen to Amata if I have anything to say about it," he grips my shoulder, "same goes for you."

"I'm not the one who needs looking after..." I sigh.

...

10 hours later

I sigh and scratch Dogmeat's ear, "Good boy..."

He pants and licks my hand. Even though it's still dark out I can see his honey eyes gleaming up at me. His tail whirls like a fan, but it stops when my fingers leave his fur.

My eyes start to strain after hours being on shift, and looking at things through night vision don't do much to help either. Dad and Amata passed out hours ago and I volunteered to keep watch overnight. I immediately regret the decision. My eyelids weigh a million tonnes and I'm sure I've passed out at least twice. I can't use the radio because it might wake everyone up.

"I miss coffee..." I grunt, clutching onto my rifle and biting my lip hard to try and stay awake. My arms have red lines all over them from where I've pinched them. Suddenly, Dogmeat growls. I snap into action and grip my rifle, pointing it ahead of me. He growls again and I stand up, moving down the steep hill, making sure to keep my steps light. Dogmeat runs for a rustling in the bushes but I call him back. He pants and returns to my side as I slowly advance to the bush, making sure not to step on any sticks or rocks, even though I'm sure his panting has given away our position. The campsite was deliberately chosen for a good lookout point. It was a vast collection of nothing except for a few bushes, I have no idea how I missed this. The bushes rustle again and I poke it with my gun.

"Fuck-" I gasp as a rabid dog lunges at me. It pounces ontop of me, knocking my rifle from my hand and it skids along the dirt.

"Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!" I frantically reach for my knife, using my left arm and Pip-boy to block the dog's snapping jaws. He keeps aiming for my throat, almost biting me a few times. "Get off me!" I try yelling, but my voice comes out as a croak. I find the knife, but I don't need it. Dogmeat pounces, ripping the dog off me. He attacks with ferocity, ripping chunks out of the dog and completely overwhelming the starved, weak dog. Dogmeat rips his opponents throat out, leaving a stench that has me gagging as I still lie on the ground. Dogmeat trots up to me and licks my hand, whimpering and covered in blood.

"You OK bud?" I cough from the disturbed dust.

He pants and licks my cheek. Normally I wouldn't mind, but he leaves a trail of blood behind on my cheek.

"Good boy Dogmeat," I smile, ruffling his fur again and giving him a hug, "good boy!"

His tail-fan starts again as I pick myself up off the ground. I scratch his ear again and walk up for the hill, the fight with the dog completely draining what energy I had left. I start climbing, using the rifle to support myself. Three quarters of the way up, I trip.

"Damn..." I groan as I tumble down the hill, being prodded by sticks in the process. I hit the ground and start coughing again, but my insistence on wearing long sleeved shirts and jeans means I'm not hurt too bad. Dogmeat starts to bark loudly as I lie in the dirt, feeling sorry for myself. I look up for him with the corner of my eye but he's gone.

"Dogmeat..." I call for him hoarsely, "bud? Did you leave?"

I cough and rub my eyes for the millionth time in the night before I feel a hand on my shoulder, "Go to bed kiddo."

I look up at Dad and shake my head, "N-no I can make it..."

He chuckles softly and helps me up, "You did a good job."

He helps me up the hill, though it's more like dragging. Dogmeat is waiting obediently at the top of the hill and stays by my side for the walk back to my "bed".

"I'll... keep watch from here," I mumble, stumbling to the unzipped sleeping bag next to Amata, who's awake and holding her arm out for me, "Come here honey." she smiles as I collapse beside her. I feel a blanket being put ontop of me, Amata's arm around me, and Dad laughing, "You keep watch from here if you have to sweetie."

I close my eyes as Amata pulls me closer to her and sleep comes instantly.

...

"Train!"

My eyes jolt open and I see a bright light speeding toward me, "Fuck!"

The light goes away and I see Amata rolling around on the floor laughing hysterically, torch in hand.

"Fuck off!" I laugh, batting her hand away.

She giggles and sits down beside me, kissing me, "My leg's feeling better."

"Good. That's good." I nod.

"It's 11. We should get moving before it gets too hot."

"You should have woken me." I gasp.

"No, you were out like a light and you hit the hay at 3AM. You needed a rest."

"Thanks. Want me to look at your bandage?"

"No your Dad did the job for you." she smiles, "now get your ass up and get moving."

I bury my face against the pillow and flip her off, "Leave me alone."

She lightly kicks my side, "Come on honey..."

I groan and stand up, "Alright..."

She pecks my lips quickly, "Good morning."

"Mornin'," I grumble.

I groan and rub my eyes.

"Morning," Dad smirks, "have a good sleep?"

I nod and take a sip of water, "Sorry I slept in."

"You were a zombie when I put you to bed last night. It was either that or you'd pass out on the road."

I nod and look at my Pip-boy, "We should get moving."

...

We start walking eventually after we pack up everything. Dad walking ahead of us in his usual brisk pace as Amata and I trail behind absent mindedly. The thought of safety is always at the front of my mind, but to be honest my mind knows that nowhere is safe. Except in a Vault. Project Purity would be safer, but it's a stationary camp that would be getting a lot of "media attention". Media attention meaning Three Dog running around with a microphone blowing things WAY out if proportion. Still, it'd be safe. And we would be happy.

On the other hand, would this really be the life we wanted to lead? Living in Megaton on a day-to-day drove Amata and I mad over time. Sure it kept us alive, but we dragged ourselves through a day or boredom and repetition. At least out here we could have the option of helping people. Now that we had found Dad, the big question finally was presented to Amata and myself. What now? Until now I had pushed the question aside because it hadn't really been at the front of my mind.

"Hey," Amata whispers, holding my hand as we walk, "you OK?"

"Yeah I'm fine," I smile assuringly, snapping back into reality, "just thinking. How's your leg?"

"Still sore." she sighs.

I frown, "Dad? You disinfected Amata's wound right?"

"Best I could." he calls back, "if it still hurts she'll have to wait until we reach Jefferson. Li's already set up a team there."

"Don't fuss over me," she whispers, "I'm not a baby."

I raise an eyebrow at her with a smirk. She whacks my arm and mutters something in Spanish I can't understand. I'm still amazed Spanish was still a spoken language in the Vault. Granted Alphonse never spoke it, he's fluent and so is Amata, but Spanish was their second language. I tried learning when I was younger, I was horrible at it, despite Amata's insistence that I just wasn't paying enough attention.

"Do you want me to carry you?" I tease.

"Fuck you."

"Promise?" I grin.

She gasps and whacks my arm harder and laughs, "Winter Daniels!"

"Ease up you two." Dad tuts.

I walk and look straight ahead, before I hear "later" whispered against my ear. I whirl around and she giggles, "Oh your face is priceless."

"Oh screw off." I scowl.

...

We stumble into the Jefferson Memorial late afternoon. Two bored looking guards stand outside the door.

"Names?" one grunts.

"There's an admission list?" I frown.

"James Daniels. Password is Omega. These two are with me."

"Welcome to Project Purity," the guard drones, "please refrain from causing damage and consult a fellow security guard if any problems occur during your stay. Have a nice day."

Amata looks at me and I shrug.

...

We spend the day wandering around the main atrium, seeing as the lower levels are forbidden to us because it's still contaminated or something. The day is spent listening to stories and relaxing, mostly the latter. The whole place feels cold, the scientists emotionless and stressed, the guards irritated and impatient. Dad held off the precious information about my mother that he had promised to give me, but I don't bother asking for something I know I won't get. Dad assigns a room to us and we both crash into bed at around midnight.

...

I stir awake and lift my head off my pillow. Amata's hair is in my face and I flick it away, pulling a face when it gets in my eyes. I roll onto my other side and cough.

"God... dammit." I croak, "damn dusty room."

"Hello beautiful." Amata yawns, propping herself up on one elbow, "morning."

"Mornin'," I cough, getting up and getting dressed.

"Aw..." she complains, tugging my underwear and pulling me back on the bed, "no... you don't need to do that... In fact, why are you wearing clothes at all?"

"Because my Dad has a master key. What's with you?"

"So what if he has a master key? The first time he ever saw you you were naked."

"Gross Amata." I groan.

"Oh shush." she whacks my arm and straddles my waist.

"What is up with you?" I grin.

"It's been a while since we were alone... I missed you."

I grin and kiss her lips. She kisses back and runs a hand through my hair, before I break away softly, "I think I'm about to burst your bubble a little bit."

"Why?"

"Because we're done here. We should go home."

"Home to...?"

"Megaton."

"It's been so long since we've been back there." she sighs, "but can't we just spend the day here? Relaxing? My leg still hurts."

"Let me see it." I frown, reaching for the bandage, "it should be healed by now."

"No." she says, backing away from me.

"Amata..." I whisper, putting a hand on her leg, "come on."

She sighs and extends her leg. I slowly peel away the bandage, expecting to see a horrifying infection or decay. In fact I see the opposite, an almost healed leg with very little bruising.

"It still hurts." she whispers.

"Honey..." I sigh, "what's wrong?"

She buries her face in her hands, "I... I don't want you two to hate each other again. You aren't at each other's throats all day and I think if we stay a few more days you guys could make things even better."

"Amata. This is a scientific project where the main method is to purify waters that have been contaminated for almost 200 years. This isn't a relaxing drink at Moriarty's. We'll visit once every month."

"Twice a month."

"Ugh... fine..." I wince, rolling out of bed and sliding on some clothes.

"Aw come on don't sulk." she laughs.

"I'm not sulking," I grin, turning and pecking her lips, "I promised Dad I would teach him to shoot. So yes, your family bonding wish has been granted."

...

"Come on Dad," I groan, "it isn't a difficult target to hit."

We're standing outside the entrance to the project. It's late morning and the scientists are either taking inventory or out in Rivet City market buying supplies. The sun beats down on us as Wasteland summer starts to come around again. It gets really bad around July, so I can look forward to having a very warm 20th birthday. According to the scientists working at Project Purity, the seasons don't quite operate as they used to. Summer is a 6 month period instead of three. I vaguely remember having a conversation with Gob about it, with him saying there are now two seasons. "Mother fucking hot Summer, and constrophobicly humid Winter."

I sigh miserably as I watch my father fail miserably at target practice. I'm dressed in a long sleeved button down faded grey tunic, sacrificing comfort for sun protection. We've only been out for five minutes, but already the fabric is stuck to my arm from the sweat and he's making excuses for his very poor skill.

"It's been 20 years since I've trained." he sighs.

"So? I had a BB gun, no excuse not to train back in the Vault." I poke his back, "your back is too tight."

"Since when are you a rifle expert?"

"Since I started killing things using a rifle." I shrug, "now shut up and fire your rifle. How did you survive so long without knowing how to fire a gun?"

"Unlike you Winter, I tend to use caution when approaching a hostile environment instead of charging in firing your gun at anything that moves."

"Mhmm, you can talk trash when you hit the target smartass." I smirk, bouncing on the balls of my feet, I missed being able to do that.

He sighs and aims, firing again and missing, "Why do you give me targets that nobody can hit?"

I quick draw my revolver and fire, nailing the can target, "You were saying?"

"Huh," he turns to me, "good shot."

I hand him my revolver, "Maybe you're a better shot with a revolver."

"Why do you have a revolver? Pistols are better."

"Because I watched WAY too many Clint Eastwood movies in my teen years."

"You really did like old movies didn't you?" he laughs.

"Loved them to bits. Now quit stalling, old man, and shoot my gun."

He fires twice, the first shot hitting the target.

"Why did you shoot twice?"

"My finger slipped."

"Dad!"

"I'm sorry!"

...

After a depressingly shameful target practice session, I walk back into my room to drop off my gun and maybe change clothes. When I open the door Amata is all over me like a rash.

"What the hell is up with you?" I frown as she kisses around my face.

"Forgive me if I love you and want to spend time with you." she smiles as I fall back onto the bed.

"Don't be like that." I complain, "that's not fair."

"I'm sorry," she kisses my lips, "can't help the fact that you're adorable."

"Are you on something?" I chuckle, "... what did you do?"

"Nothing." she grins, "I'm just... 'proud' of you."

"Oh god. Why?"

"Because you were patient with him today."

"Piss off," I laugh, "what did you do?"

"Promise you won't be mad?"

"I can promise I won't get out of bed, seeing as you're sitting on me." I sigh, rubbing my eyes.

"Well... I kind of... volunteered us for a scouting mission."

"That isn't so bad."

She chuckles nervously, "You would say that..."

...

"I hate you." I growl.

"Just relax it won't be so bad."

"I swear it's like you sat down on a desk and pondered 'How can I completely torture Winter for a day and make her life a living hell?'"

"Honey they're just clowns!"

"They're fucking EVIL DEMONS Amata!" I yell, "what the hell why do they even HAVE circuses out here?!"

"Settle down you're freaking out the kids. It's a program funded by BoS to

'brighten up the lives of kids' or something like that. Look, point is we have a POI and we need to see if he'll play ball."

We're standing out in the middle of an old car park with kids running around everywhere. Old, worn BoS tents are littered everywhere and guards walk around with guns well out of sight from any kids. Amata and I had to get cleared of all weapons on entry, even when we got a pass from a few BoS scientists I was only allowed to have my revolver with one bullet in it. Cooks pile out food for grubby hungry hands and parents chase after their kids. Normally this would make me happy, seeing so many little brats happy and not pissing everyone off within a five kilometre radius with winging. But...

"Ooooh why hello there!" a fucking demon seed in clown paint grins, his giant lumbering physique charging towards me. He grabs me and hurls me in the air, flipping me, then holding me like a baby, "Welcome to Mr Bolt's Travelling Circus!"

"Kill me," I growl at Amata, who's holding back a fit of laughter as I squirm in his arms.

"Uh oh! Someone isn't in a fun mood!" he grins.

"No I'm here on a job I-"

"Nonsense! Today is a day for fun," the clown grins.

"No don't you fucking-" he flips me again and I land back in his arms.

"Sir please," Amata laughs, "could you put our friend down? We're here on BoS business."

"Oh!" he gasps, dropping me on the ground and ruffling my hair, a grin still on his face, "sorry, aren't you a little short to be a trooper?"

"We're looking for your... 'scientist' in the bunch." Amata smirks as I pick myself up.

"Oh! Professor Atomic!" he nods, "he's in his tent."

"Right."

We walk away and I glare at her, "You planned that."

"How?" she giggles.

"That was... the most terrifying moment of my life."

"Oh stop being a baby."

"I'm sleeping on the couch tonight." I sigh irritably.

"Sure you are," she chuckles.

A little group of kids run up to me and grin, fingers and mouths coated in some weird smelling sauce, "Cool! Can we see your gun?!"

I frown, these kids had grown up around guns and mine isn't really that special, granted revolvers aren't as common as pistols but that's like saying death by dismemberment isn't as common as death by bullet.

"No you can't." I put a hand on the gun, "it's for grown ups."

"Please?" a little boy whines, "revolvers look so cool!"

"No."

"Can you shoot a Nuka Cola bottle for us?"

"No."

"Can we pet your dog?"

"No."

"Can we keep him?"

"No!"

"Can we touch the computer watch?"

"No! Beat it you kids!" I yell. Goddamn they're so annoying!

I groan and turn to Amata, who rolls her eyes, "You'd be such a great mother. It's a shame I can't bear your children."

"Let's just go find Professor Atomic, smart ass."

...

A.N

Damn I'm tired. Sorry I know this is a bit overdue since I try to shoot for one chapter a week now that I try to add weight to my chapters. My addiction to Breaking Bad and relationship commitments means that I don't get much time to write, but I do hope you guys enjoy my story. I just found the stats option in my account and I'm AMAZED at how many views and visitors I have. I was imagining maybe 10 views a day, I think the highest I have on record was around 200. You guys are awesome and if I could hug you I would :-)

Also, I have been toying with a sequel and have started writing, I want to hear you guy's opinion on what you think would be cool. Even drastic stuff like you hate Winter having a left arm and want it removed in a fight with one of the lamplight kids who's holding a ray gun or something, anything is acceptable.

Anyways, leave a review and I'll see you guys soon!


	19. Professor Atomic's Bag of Tricks

I lift the flap to Professor Atomic's tent and my eyes widen. Clown... clown masks. Clown masks everywhere. They line the shelves, staring at me, almost moving. Why do they need clown masks when they have the damn paint! My eyes water and my leg starts trembling. I have never been so scared in my entire live. A clown with a giant red painted grin on his face dressed as a scientist walks up to me, "Yes?"

"Goddamn!" I gasp, jumping back and walking fast away from the tent.

"Woah now what was that?" Amata laughs, running after me.

I turn and look at Amata, "I can't go in there."

Amata frowns and looks inside, chuckling, "Are you serious?"

"Amata... can you do the talking with this one?"

"Oh Winter..." Amata gasps quietly, "you look terrible."

"Amata I can't go in there," I beg, my forehead prickling with sweat.

"I'm so sorry," she whispers, hugging me, "I never knew you were such a baby."

"Mirelurk!" I shout.

"Where?!" Amata squeals.

I raise an eyebrow at her and she sighs, "Seriously? I went through the lower hull of that ship and it had Mirelurks in it."

"Don't be an ass. We'll make a deal. You hug ONE clown and I'll talk to clown mask man."

"Why are you doing this to me?" I whine, dropping to my knees and gripping her hand, "I'm begging you."

"I'm only joking hon," she smirks, handing me a small pouch of caps, "go get something to eat and let the grown ups talk."

"Ouch." I hiss, "that was harsh."

...

I walk around the circus, kicking stones and keeping my eyes directly on the dirt beneath me.

"Goddamn bossy little..." I mutter, sitting down beside a wooden pole, "telling me what to do."

A kid runs up to me, kid can't be more than 5 or 6. Her pink dress is filthy from the dirt and her blonde hair is done up in messy, crooked pigtails.

"'Scuse me?" she says with a stutter, hugging her waist, "I'm lost. A-are you a goody?"

"Goody?"

She nods rapidly, "Daddy said that the people here who have a gun and are clean are goodies."

I nod, "Don't worry, I'm a goody."

She wipes her nose with her sleeve, a vile trail of snot being left behind, "I miss my Daddy."

"It's OK. He'll turn up somewhere." I smile assuringly, "you know what the best thing to do when you get lost is?"

"What?"

"You have to stay in the same place so it's easy for someone to find you."

Poor kid, this might be the greatest day of her life, and she gets to spend it scared, sitting next to me, lost and wanting her Daddy.

She nods and sits down beside me, "Can I sit with you?"

"Sure I... guess." I sigh as she hugs me, damn kids.

"Look uh..." I look at the food stand a few feet beside us. I hand her the pouch, "get yourself something to eat."

She comes back with some Mirelurk cakes and starts eating with her grubby little fingers, making a mess and wearing most of the food on her face.

"What's your name?" I think she asks, it's hard to understand someone when they have 15 cakes shoveled down their throat.

"Winter. Yours?"

"Amy!" someone roars. I look up just in time to see a man wrenching the kid away from me, "Get away from her!"

"Woah easy," I gasp, "I'm friendly. Just on a BoS assignment... job... thing, she was lost and she just sat next to me."

"Did she touch you Amy?" the father orders.

"Hey!" I frown, standing up.

A guard walks up to us, carrying a baton and looking slightly irritated, "is there a problem here?"

"I find some random person sitting next to my daughter engaged in conversation! Of course there's a problem!"

"Well maybe if you actually kept a fucking eye on the kid we wouldn't be in this situation!"

"Don't you dare try to-" he looks over and spots the guard near us, "excuse me this woman is harassing myself and my child!"

"No I'm not! The kid just sat next to me and said she was- hey!" I gasp as the guard grabs my arm, "get your hands off me!"

"Settle down!" the guard says through his teeth, jerking me up by my right arm so my revolver sticks out beside my hip, like a big, gun shaped stain.

"I'm here on BoS business," I say as he slides the gun from my hip. He checks the barrel and grunts.

"N-n-now I've heard about the stuff those BoS soldiers get up to! All the violence and such gets into their heads! Makes them do horrible things!" the father quips, both the guard and myself looking at him like he's grown two heads. I understand the man's desperation, not every parent has the luxury of being able to take their eyes off their kid for two seconds and know the kid would be relatively safe like my Dad did. This is just ridiculous though. The brat isn't screaming crying, she's happy, and has a belly full of food.

"This is absolutely ridiculous," I yell, "all I did was sit next to the kid! Let go of my goddamn arm!"

"Is there a problem here?"

I turn my head and see a clown right in my face, "Ah! Fucking Christ!"

"Aw Winter give your Uncle Atomic a big, big hug!" Atomic grins, hoisting me up into a massive bear hug. Atomic is easily 6"2, towering above me and stinking of clown paint and sweat, I almost gag as he twirls around, taking me with him."

"Edgar do you know this woman?" the guard sighs.

"Edgar? I don't know any Edgars!" he grins, giving an incredulous look to the kid.

"Ugh... Professor Atomic do you-"

"Ah but of course! My little niece Winter!" he gasps and puts me down, "what have you done now?"

"I didn't do anything I-" I start to yell, but he tuts, "ah Winter always a cranky one."

The guard sighs, clearly wanting this to be over, much like me, "Look, does your neice have a history of violence?"

"Ah! Little Winter would never hurt a fly!" he ruffles my hair, a constant grin on his face.

"Right. On your way."

"But-" the father yells one final word of defiance, before he's cut off.

"On. Your. Way." he looks at me.

"With pleasure." I sigh.

Amata, Atomic and I walk away and the grin finally subsides from the clown's face, "Thank fuck for that," he groans, "I was sick of this place."

I look back at Amata, who's grinning at me, "You got the job done I see?"

"Professor Atomic's scientific skills will come of great use to us." Amata smiles, walking past me, "and, he's an excellent actor."

"Just so we're clear," I say bitterly, grabbing all my gear from the guards on supply duty, "if you ever make me go into a circus again, I'll run into a Super Mutant camp head first for something less terrifying."

…

"Really?" Dad sighs, "you didn't get him out of the make up?"

"Winter and him were pretty keen on getting out of there." Amata exhales, drinking some purified water.

Dad smirks and crosses his arms.

"It isn't funny," I scowl, doing the same thing with my arms and looking at the floor.

"She couldn't even go in his tent," Amata giggles, "because there were clown masks in there."

"Get it out of your system Amata," I tease, "just know the next time I see a Mirelurk I'm throwing you at it."

"If you value your life you won't-"

Dad clears his throat and holds out his hand, "Forgive my assistants-"

"Assistants?!" I yell.

"- I'm James Daniels, ignore my daughter she tends to be short tempered."

"I know that first hand. Professor Atomic at your service." he smiles, shaking my father's hand, "but from the impression I have of your daughter so far, she seems to be very passionate with her work."

"Work" actually referred to Amata and I's heated conversation on the walk to the Memorial, consisting of ideas for future jobs. One of these was volunteering for the Brotherhood of Steel, an idea that Amata shot down faster than I did the Mole Rat that we encountered on the walk over here.

"Right. Well this is a professional operation, we need your real name."

"Professor Atomic. It's been my name for 45 years, and I have no intention of changing it."

"Are Amata and I needed in this exchange?" I interrupt. My father has a look on his face that always leads to an argument, it's usually a good idea to clear the area or risk getting caught in the blast.

"No. You two can go."

Amata and I walk away sharply.

"So. What do you want to do for dinner?" Amata exhales, scratching behind her hair. When I don't respond she sighs, "Winter don't be stubborn."

"Calls me his assistant," I scowl, opening the door to our room and slamming it shut, "fucking clowns, someone thinks I'm a fucking pedophile..."

"Hey settle down," she says sternly.

I look up at her, "Settle down?! Settle down?! After today you want me to chill out and settle down? That's rich Amata! Fucking rich!"

She frowns, "You don't have to-"

"No! I do! I'm sick of Dad offloading us! We bust our arses finding him, first thing he wants to do is restart the project with our help! Fuck him! And what the fuck were you thinking?!"

"Me?! What did I do?!"

"Oh, I don't know! Bring me to a fucking circus?!"

"Winter you aren't 5 years old! I figured you could handle half an hour at a circus! Maybe when you act your age we can-"

"Goddamit! Stop treating me like I'm a fucking kid!" I yell.

"Yeah because you're acting SO mature now!" she yells back, "maybe I treat you like a child because you ARE a child Winter Kaede! How many times have I had to pull you back when you stupidly charge for a gang of raiders?! How many times have I had to drag you out of bed at 2 in the afternoon so you can go to work?! How many times have I had to listen to you complain about your leg as an excuse to not go anywhere?! And when you do go out, you do something incredibly fucking stupid! For fuck's sake I left you alone for a second when we first arrived at Megaton, what did you do?! You slept with a prostitute! I let you go out into the Wasteland by yourself! What do you do?! You lock yourself in some fucked simulation! What were you THINKING?! Grow the FUCK up Winter!"

I grab my jacket and slam the door behind me, viciously angry.

"Yeah! Fucking walk away!" Amata yells, slamming the door again.

...

I sit on a busted arm chair, overlooking the beautiful waters outside the Project. Irradiated or not, it's a nice view. Beside me are three beers and in my hand another. My mind still is fuming over my argument with Amata, and I know I'm going to be kicked out of the room tonight, or at the very least sleeping on the floor. Wonderful.

"Hey kid."

I look around and see Atomic sitting down beside me, clown paint off and looking more presentable, his bronze hair combed formally and wearing professional clothing.

"Hi." I sigh.

"Well your dad's a piece of work."

"Don't get me started." I grunt, "I've had a shit day."

He nods and sits down, "I'm sorry for scaring you earlier today."

"It's fine. It's my fault anyway."

"Why don't you like clowns?"

I sigh and shrug, taking a sip of my beer, "They just always scared me I guess."

"I have a fear of Super Mutants if that makes you feel any better."

"That's a rational fear."

"Eh clowns are a rational fear," he sighs, lighting a cigarette, "frozen faces, unfamiliar faces."

"That sounds discriminatory." I chuckle.

"Eh it isn't really. I can't tell you how many kids have cried in my arms over the years from the terror of my painted face."

I sigh and take another drink, "What are you doing up here so late?"

"I was gonna ask the same thing from you," he chuckles, "it's past your bedtime kiddo."

I down the last of the beer and run a hand through my hair, "Got into an argument. I know I'm gonna be sleeping on a cold wooden floor tonight. Ontop of that, I can't sleep. Nightmares."

"Problem you've been having?"

"Yeah you could say that."

"You uh... I might be able to help you out here."

"How?" I mutter, "you gonna put duct tape on Amata's mouth and erase parts of my memories?"

"Let me see what's in Professor Atomic's bag of tricks..." he slowly slides open a backpack, showing a pouch. He slides it open and I see a bunch of silver inhalers. Jet, "Close to erase" he smirks.

I frown at the inhalers, "Are you sure about that?"

"Trust me," Atomic grins, "I know the stuff to get this out of your mind."

"I don't take drugs from clowns." I cross my arms and shrug.

He rolls his eyes and hands me one metal inhaler, "You wanna relax or not?"

I sigh and take the inhaler, "How do I know this isn't poisoned or something?" He snatches the inhaler from me and takes the hit. I groan, take the inhaler, and hit the button. The spray goes into my mouth and I cough, "Fuck..." I splutter. Atomic laughs and slaps my back, "Newbie..."

The last time I took Jet was with Nova almost a year ago. That was cheap crap that mostly served as a muscle relaxer. This is something else. My mind turns to sludge and my eyes glaze over as the drug takes effect.

"Damn..." I mumble, leaning back against the chair. Everything slows down, my vision blurs out of focus and I sit up, fighting a wave of panic. Atomic chuckles, "Just relax. Don't fight it. It'll take you to places that better than your wildest ever dreams."

I lean back and close my eyes, exhaling and relaxing.

...

I come to lying on a floor, curled in a ball with a string of drool running down my mouth. "Ooh fucking hell..." I groan, picking myself up, "where am I?"

I don't recognize the room I'm in. It's dark, smells and looks like mould and alcohol had an orgy with a dry wall and the remnants are on said wall. My brain feels like sludge, but a sudden adrenaline rush sharpens my thinking a bit once I know I'm in an unfamiliar environment.

"Amata?" I call, stumbling against the wall, "Amata I need a painkiller."

I walk up to the door and open it, or at least try to.

"Huh?" I murmur, rattling the door knob, "fuckin'- hey! Open the damned door! Atomic! This shit ain't funny! Open the fucking door!"

A slot in the door slides open and I see a woman in a security helmet scowl at me, "Mind keeping it down?! It's 6 in the morning!"

"Where am I? What have you done to Amata?!" I yell, banging on the door, "Let me out!"

She laughs and shakes her head, "Sorry kid. You're under arrest remember?"

Oh for fuck's sake. "What?! No! I don't remember anything..."

"You remember your name kid?"

"... Why?" I frown, crossing my arms and taking a step back.

"So we can find someone to bail you out since you don't have any money on you."

"Where am I?"

She sighs, "Springvale BoS criminal detainee outpost. Prison Cell 5A."

No wonder I don't recognize the place. Just past the guard's shoulder is a mess or construction equipment. This cell looks recently constructed, or restored at least.

"Uh..." I cough, "what was I arrested for?"

"Disturbing the peace. You punched a Nuka Cola machine and tried to rob a Sentinel with a stick. Damn near got yourself shot. Now, who can we contact?"

"I know a guy..."

...

"Congratulations kid," the woman sighs, opening the cell door, "you made bail."

I stumble out of my cell and she hands me a box with my stuff in it.

"Head feeling OK?" Lucas grunts, signing my release form.

"My brain is trying to climb out of my ears," I mumble, the words out of my mouth before I can stop myself.

There's a pause before Lucas speaks again, "Winter? Where are we right now?"

"Home," I mumble.

"Fucking hell she's out of it." he sighs.

"I don't understand. She was fine when I was talking to her."

Lucas sighs and picks me up, throwing me over his shoulders, "Come on kid..."

"Whee..." I drone, "where are we going?"

...

When I open my eyes again I'm in a different room. It's brown and yellow, with dust everywhere and a voice right above my head.

"Winter? Where are you right now?"

I blink and look at the two men in front of me, one is clicking his fingers in my face.

"Mmph!" I groan, lying on the bed.

"No," Lucas scolds, pulling me up, "no sleeping."

"Lemmie sleep!" I whine.

"Her body's detoxing," the other man sighs, "give her time."

"What if she ODs in her sleep?"

"Friend..." I point at the clown on the curtain.

"Who's your friend Winter?"

"Friend..." I smile, closing my eyes.

"Christ... I don't understand the guard said she was fine when she first woke up."

"Eh it'd be the adrenaline rush. Now she's relatively calm the drug can still take hold..."

...

When I "wake up" I feel a sharp stinging pain on my cheek.

"Ow!" I groan.

"That worked," Amata sighs, "hey. You need to snap out of it."

"Amata?" I frown, "thank god you're here. You need to keep my brain in case it runs out of my head."

"At least she's making full sentences." Lucas smiles.

"OK. Fun's over honey. Wake up," she clicks her fingers in front of my face, "come on. Come back."

"Don't try to force it. Her body's detoxing the drugs. She's actually doing better than the usual patients."

She sighs and runs a hand through my hair.

"Amata... I need to tell you something." I murmur.

"What?"

"I slept with someone else. I need you to know that before I lose my brain when it bursts from my head."

"I know. Nova and Susie."

"And Cindy." I correct.

"Cindy?! When?!"

I close my eyes again, and everything goes black.

...

When I come too again I'm sitting in a chair. I shake my head to bring myself around.

"Are you awake?" Amata says quietly.

"Well... yeah I'm looking at you."

"You aren't high?"

"I... don't think so." I cough, "I don't remember much..."

"Who's Cindy, Winter?"

"Huh?" I rub my eyes and stretch out sore limbs.

"Who. Is. Cindy?"

I sigh and look up at her with desperate eyes, "You need to wait until I finish my story before you punch me. It isn't what it sounds like."

Amata sighs and sits down on a chair, "OK..."

I tell her the whole story. Of the German guy's control over my mind and nervous system, my black out, my loss of consciousness. The entire time Amata's face slowly turns from anger to horror.

"I... I'm sorry you had to find out this way."

"No no no," she whispers, "Winter I need you to make this clear for me. He controlled you and you didn't know what had happened until it was over?"

"...Yeah. Why?"

"That would explain the elevated heart rate and activities in the 'terror' side of your brain. Oh my god sweetheart I am so, so sorry!"

"Wait- what? Why are you sorry?" I frown as she hugs me tightly.

"Winter you were rap-"

"No!" I say firmly, "No! It wasn't... that."

"Why the hell wouldn't it be?! It fits the description!"

"I wasn't...! ... Look it was my fault alright? She was all over me and I gave in. That's it."

Tears run down Amata's cheeks and she kisses me hard on the lips.

"Mmph!" I push her away, "don't you understand? I cheated on you!"

"I wouldn't call this cheating." she shakes her head, "Winter I think you need to see someone. A therapist or something."

"No. Look, this was WEEKS ago. Did you notice any change in me? No. I wasn't... that. The girl I slept with is dead anyway."

"Winter..."

"Stop it!" I yell, "I'm not a fucking kid! I'm fine!"

"Atomic said that you needed to forget something..." she trails off, "it was that. Wasn't it?"

"Not for that reason!" I argue, gripping her shoulders, "Honey. Look at me. I'm fine. I could have fought it. I cheated on you and I'm sorry. So sorry..."

Amata hugs me, "I forgive you."

...

Church eventually sends me home once he's confident enough I won't OD in my sleep after four days of observation, though I'm sure Amata will watch over me like a hawk for most of tonight like Mother Hen. It's late at night when he eventually discharges me. Amata and I had gotten back on usual speaking terms, but I'm still sore at her for her outburst. It wasn't what I had expected from her, sure she gets pissed off, but never really like that.

I smile and shut the bedroom door. I jump into bed beside her, a small smirk on my face.

"Hey," I purr, kissing her neck.

"Stop it." she tuts.

"What?" I giggle, biting the shell of her ear playfully, "I'm innocent."

"Stop it, Daniels. You don't have to prove anything."

I roll my eyes and force a smile, "Why can't you just accept that I'm OK?"

"Because you aren't."

"I want to show you that I'm OK." I say gently, "let me show you I'm OK."

She looks at me and kisses me, "I love you. If you say you're OK then I believe you. But if you aren't, you have to tell me, I'll do anything to make you happy again."

I sigh and roll away from her, "Noted."

She kisses my shoulder blade, pulling the blanket over us.

Overtime I hear her breathing even out and I look over my shoulder. Her fingertips are curled into a very loose fist and her head is inches from resting against my neck. Then, it starts. A slow wave of panic and anxiety starts to attack my body, as all my thoughts become amplified as I'm left alone with nothing and no one to occupy myself with. Guilt about Cindy, anger with the argument, fear from the drugs, it all hits me at once.

"I'm sorry..." I whisper, curling myself up into a ball, "I'm so sorry..."

I don't cry, so far I have no reason to. I wasn't... that. It wasn't even real, just a simulation. A dream, might as well have been just a bad dream.

But bad dreams don't keep me awake like this does tonight. I feel sick to my stomach, probably from the drugs. The only thing that calms me down is either Amata or... No. No I can't do that again. Amata will never forgive me... but maybe if I just buy the less expensive stuff it won't be so bad this time?

I remember what it was like, the first few months out here. I was the one comforting HER. She was crying and having difficulty sleeping. I need to be strong for her, not this pathetic shit... but in order to be strong... I need to take the edge off.

...

"Pleasure doing business with you kid."

"Only when it's bad..." I whisper as I walk away from the dealer, there's always one or two that hang around the common area where most of the settlers sleep. Add a disguise of an old, disgusting, but oversized poncho, a turned inside out to avoid logos, and sunglasses, and I was essentially incognito. "I'll only use it when things are bad."

I look down at the bag. Seven inhalers. Goddamn it I need just one.

"What the fuck am I doing?" I groan, grabbing one inhaler and taking a puff. My eyes roll back at my head and I tilt my head back. "Weak weak bitch." I mutter to myself, "the fuck is wrong with me?"

I stumble back into bed and close my eyes, trying to focus on sleep rather than the visions that are flying in my head. I feel like I'm floating, on a cloud high in the sky. It's pure bliss, and I forget everything. My brain focuses on what's in front of me. The wavy walls, the moving bed, the shadows swirling around, the dancing lights when I close my eyes. I roll onto my back and relax, gazing up at the ceiling and losing myself.

I wake up to a kiss on my cheek, "Morning," Amata whispers in my ear, "wake up sleepy head."

I groan and open one eye, seeing her smiling softly at me, "How're you feeling?"

Fucking out of it.

"I'm feeling good," I nod, fighting to keep myself alert and sound sober, "how long was I out?"

"A good 12 hours. Still kicking off your hit huh?"

"What?" I frown, eyes wide. I hid that bag in a hole outside Megaton. No way she could have found it!

She laughs, "Man, Atomic really put you on a heavy dose."

"No. I'm here," I smile, "sorry I'm still waking up."

"You want breakfast?"

"Uh... yeah." I nod, looking at her. She cradles and lightly taps my cheek, "Don't fall asleep before I come back."

"I won't," I slightly slur but she doesn't seem to notice.

"Hmph." she chuckles, "we'll see."

She comes back with some Sugar Bombs and I sit up and start eating. Amata kisses my cheek and nuzzles my neck, "Thank you for last night."

"Hmm?" I frown, chewing on a mouthful of the food.

"Oh don't act coy." she smiles, "You made me feel so loved, baby. Thank you for that."

Oh fuck. What did I do?

"Uh... yeah. No problem."

She laughs, "No problem? What am I? A business transaction?"

I chuckle and kiss her, "You know what I mean."

She sits up and starts cleaning and repairing her pistol while I eat. We enjoy the peace and quiet while we can. Knowing Dad he would be calling upon us for some stupid errand sooner or later. Our little Megaton house is a home now, small and cosy. Considering there's only three of us, one a dog, we don't take up much space. We planned to convert Amata's room into a storage room at some stage a few months ago but Dogmeat has pretty much claimed the bed as his own.

Amata rests her head against my lap after a while and I subconsciously feed her a few Sugar Bombs, looking across the room at nothing.

"You OK?" she asks.

"Hmm? Yeah, just... thinking."

"'bout what?"

I don't answer, instead I get up and strap on my leg, "I'm gonna go for a walk."

"Don't go to Moriarty's!" she calls after me, "Sarah Lyons is there!"

"Why is that a problem?"

"You robbed her. Remember?"

"... I did. Didn't I?" I sigh, opening the door and shutting it behind me.

...

"So... let me get this straight." Sarah Lyons sighs irritably, rubbing her forehead, "you want to join the Brotherhood?"

"Yes ma'am," I nod.

"So I'm supposed to take this seriously? Even when you're currently high off your tits?"

"How did you-"

"Don't insult me. 'How did you know' she says. I spent 32 years around junkies and pathetic excuses for human beings. I know when someone is high. Sorry kid, you aren't the type BoS needs at the moment."

"Listen," I say, "I'm a good soldier, I can run fast with the leg and I'm a good shot. The reason I'm asking you in the first place is so I can get off the drugs and so I can make something out of myself."

"Make something out of myself" is half true. "Train hard enough so that I'm too tired to think at night and bring money in for Amata and myself" is the main reason.

Lyons chuckles and lean back, "So. I'm gonna recruit a scrawny, one legged, short, junky, robber who has a crippling fear of clowns?"

"No. You're gonna recruit a 20 year old, physically fit able bodied soldier who will allow herself to be pushed and not whine like a whiny little bitch. Who'll train harder than any recruit you've ever seen, and shoot better too."

Lyons toys with her shot glass, "What happens when the enemy runs into battle wearing clown masks?"

I don't break eye contact with her and I smirk, "What clown masks ma'am? All I see is the enemy."

She puts down the shot glass and claps her hands once in front of my face. I blink but I don't flinch, still looking at her eyes as firmly as I can.

"I'll be at Springvale for a few days. Talk to me when you're detoxed."

"I'm ready now!" I say, getting up from my chair.

"If I had a cap for how many times I've heard that... is Amata coming too?"

"Uh... I'm... not sure yet."

"Whatever. No slap mark on my face."

"Huh?" I frown, putting on my black and white hoodie.

"Just a saying. I suggest you go talk to her. Training is three months and we usually toss you into the fray shortly after you're done. You know kid, most people go to a rehab clinic for this problem. They usually lock you in closet for a few days with some rations but it's better than what we put you through."

"One thing you're gonna learn about me Lyons; I'm fucking stubborn."

"Mmhmm, don't go complaining to me when you're head to toe in mud running 15 miles."

"Sounds like exactly what I need."

She rolls her eyes, "Talk to me when you're sober kid."

...

"Hey," I smile.

"Hey," Amata doesn't look up from her book, "good walk?"

"Yeah. Cleared my head a bit. Got some fresh air." I shrug, taking off my jacket and getting a drink. I open the fridge and take a deep breath as I grab a Nuka cola for myself. I steady myself, before shutting the door to the fridge and turning to her, "Hey. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," she shrugs.

"Let's close that for a second." I nod, taking the book from her hands, "I... had a talk with Sarah Lyons at the bar."

"Oh god. What have you done?" she sighs.

"Not that kind of talk. We talked about my arrest and... I thought of a way I can get some practice you mentioned."

She takes the book back from my hands, "You aren't joining BoS, Winter."

"Why not? It's basic training for fuck's sake!"

"You don't have to get aggressive," she says patiently, "but you kind of... have one leg."

"Amata you and I both know that it isn't nearly as bad as you want to believe it is. I can run with this thing! This is an amazing opportunity to make a difference out there and make some money!"

"Hmm..." she looks at me, squinting her eyes.

"What?"

"You aren't doing this for the money..."

"Of course I am. I wanna help peop-"

"Oh I have no doubt you want to help people for a living. But you aren't... hmm..."

"You're thinking about this WAY too much," I laugh, "put the stupid book down!"

Amata rolls her eyes and shuts the book, "Winter..."

"Shh," I chuckle, grabbing her chin and kissing her lips. I gently pull away and whisper, "Don't be bossy."

She closes her eyes and sighs, "I love you. You know that right?"

"The thought's crossed my mind."

"I just want you to be safe." she says quietly, "despite what you may think, you aren't invincible."

"I know, but you need to relax more and stop worrying about me."

"You're my best friend Winter. Knowing you for 19 years, I tend to get a reflex for when you're about to do something stupid. Of course I worry about you."

...

I wait for Amata to finally fall asleep before I slip out of bed. I get dressed quietly and sneak out of the house and into Springvale. Off-duty soldiers are sitting around by fires, and the place smells of barbecue and rusted metal. Several BoS workers have started to assemble small demountable offices and I think there may be hints of actual housing being built here as well. Having BoS here gives a small sense of security, knowing raiders pretty much won't touch the place and that while Amata and I are gone we don't need to worry about a raider raid. But walking to the main offices I see the main problem with a concentration of men and women with firearms. Everyone is drunk. I love a good drink myself, but they are guarding a prison aren't they? Soldiers stumble past me and I have to push a few aside, I think I could walk better than these guys with my prosthetic off and no crutches.

"Hey sweetheart," one male soldier grins up at me from his chair, "wanna see my super mutant?"

I almost gag at the horrifyingly bad pick up line and the smell radiating off the man, "I'll pass thanks."

"Bitch," he spits.

"Have a nice night," I mutter, walking into the main building.

Ugh. The smell here isn't much better either. Screams and yells leak through the walls and fists bang against the doors. It's a fucking madhouse.

"Am I in the right place...?" I frown, looking at a stressed out receptionist.

He sighs and waves me off, "Visitations are 10AM to 3PM. Come back then kid."

"I'm looking for Sentinal Lyons..." I trail off, watching two soldiers drag a hysterical patient across the hallway, "Jesus..."

"Sentinal Lyons isn't expecting visitors," he grunts, "you don't have an appointment?"

"Uh... no...?"

"Then make an appointment and come back then."

"OK... any recruitment booths around here?"

The receptionist sighs irritably and stands up from his chair, "How old are you kid?"

"19 almost 20." I nod.

"OK. Gonna give you some free advice. Go home, find a man, pop a few out, and don't join BoS."

I frown and cross my arms, "I'll ask again. Where do I sign up?"

"And I'll say again, we don't take kids. We'll need verification of your age from a parent. Got any parents in BoS?"

I sigh and rub my forehead, "I... I don't know. Maybe? My parents were working on a BoS related project I think..."

He groans and goes to his terminal, "Mother's name?"

"Catherine Daniels."

He stops typing after a while and frowns, "Hmph."

"What?"

"Catherine Daniels huh?"

"Is there a problem?"

"No. We have vertification of your age because this says she died 18 years ago."

"You have my mother on file? Why?"

"Your mother, who looks enough like you to pass as so, was a BoS scientist. So congratulations kiddo, you just passed basic training."

"Don't call me kid." I groan, now I'm the one who's frustrated, "explain this to me?"

"I can do this for you."

I look over my shoulder and see Lyons look at the guy in front of me, who nods and goes back to whatever his job was.

"Come with me," Lyons sighs.

...

Lyons guides me to her makeshift office and slams the door behind her.

"Sit down," she orders, shoving me into a seat.

"What did I do?!"

"I'm trying save your ass you stupid idiot." she grabs my head and looks at me, "fuck. You've come down from the Jet."

"Yeah, of course I fuckin' have," I growl, "I wanna join!"

"BoS ISN'T a rehab clinic!"

"I know." I nod, "why can't I join?"

"Because we need your father on Project Purity. You dying might cause him to abandon the project like when your mother... passed.

"Let me fucking fight for you guys! And why do people give a fuck that my mother was BoS? Is she even BoS?!"

"Because descendants of BoS personnel get bumped up a few ranks when they enlist."

"How far up?"

"To a Corporal."

"I... ugh," I stand up and rub my temples, "I don't... OK. So, my mother was a BoS scientist who died 19 years ago."

"18, but OK."

"No, 19. She died when I was born." I'm getting really tired of these stupid revelations Dad. He's gonna get his arse handed to him when I seem him next.

"OK we'll change that if you want it changed. Just... ugh. It's 10 o'clock at night. Just... sign this stupid paper if you know how to write and go home. It identifies you as a member of BoS, but you can leave at any time provided your combat record ranges between 0 to 12 months of service. We don't share massive tactical intelligence with newbies."

I scribble down my signature and she rips the paper out of my hands, "Come and see me tomorrow, we'll have a longer discussion. Welcome aboard Corporal."

...

I sneak into the house and crawl back into bed. I slip an arm around Amata and nuzzle into her neck when I feel her shifting a bit.

"Hmm?" she murmurs, looking over her shoulder. I stay quiet and she eventually settles back down, reaching out and holding my hand that's around her waist.

...

"Shit!" I gasp, jolting up out of bed and clasping a hand over my mouth to hold back a yell. I'm sweating bullets and my clothes are absolutely soaked. My breathing's quick and I run a hand through my messy, greasy hair. Fucking nightmares. I get out of bed, lightly pushing Amata away from me. I go downstairs and stumble to the fridge. I open it, find a bottle of whiskey, and take a drink. As I take the bottle from my lips I look down at my hand, it's shaking horribly. I can't even remember what most of the dream was now, just flashing images of Cindy, then blood and a feeling like I was suffocating.

"Oh god..." I gasp, lying down on the cool floor and curling myself up into a ball, "just make it stop."

I sip at the whiskey like a baby with a bottle, little bits splashing down into my mouth as my hand quivers. I feel so cold...

...

"Winter?"

I gasp and jolt up, coughing and spluttering, before breaking into a sob.

"Oh sweetheart," Amata whispers, dropping down to her knees, "Shh..."

I try to hold back the sobs as a wave of desperation and a feeling of being trapped flows over me. I need to bottle this up, suck it up before it does damage to Amata. She's already found me passed out on the floor in a puddle of sweat and whiskey.

I grunt and cough, standing up and holding back my emotions.

"I've gotta… I've gotta... I've..." I collapse back onto the floor, my head banging against the cold wood below me.

"I thought it would be OK." I murmur as Amata tries to drag me back upstairs, Dogmeat biting my collar to help drag me up.

...

"Don't call Church." I cough, "I'm just tired."

Amata sits down beside me and puts my head in her lap, "Just go to sleep. I'll be here."

"No." I groan, trying to push her away, "I need to... go to Lyons."

"Sarah Lyons can wait." she holds me down firmly, "just close your eyes and sleep."

"Sleep is my problem..." I groan, "nightmares just keep coming and coming..."

"Shh..." Amata whispers, "just try to relax. Know that I'm right here OK?"

Oh dear god. Five months ago I was the one comforting her, now she's babying me as I'm close to an emotional breakdown in her arms. I don't need her sympathy, I'm not five anymore.

I roll onto my side and I feel her hand on my forehead. She leaves and comes back with what sounds like a bucket and a wet rag. It rests against my forehead and she hugs me.

"I love you," I murmur as I drift off to sleep.

…

"Winter... sweetheart?"

The second I move a bolt of pain shoots up into my forehead. Ugh. Why can't I just be OK? I'm always sick, or injured, or exhausted. Amata always needs to look after me when I'm the one who should be looking after her. Opening my eyes feels absolutely horrible, every little part of me hurts and aches.

"'Mata," I manage to mumble.

"She'll be back soon," Dad whispers, dabbing the wet rag on my forehead and adding one to the back of my neck. I sit up but he firmly pushes me back down, "No. Stay in bed." he says firmly. When he pushes me down, I'm sure my shoulders almost catch alight from the burning, my back singeing. My body burns and when I open my eyes they're so blurred I can barely make out my father's shape above me.

"Need to go-"

"No. You need to rest. You're sick Winter. You need sleep, and lots of it."

"Go back to the project," I croak, "I'll be fine... They... need you."

"The project can do fine without me." he says, "go back to sleep."

I lift my arm, but it's like every muscle pulls when I do so. I wince and close my eyes. This shit about mum will have to wait until I have the strength to complete a full sentence.

...

Five days later

I don't remember anything useful over the past few days. I remember drifting in and out of consciousness, spending my awake moments drinking water and being told to stay in bed, and Amata crying. A lot.

When I wake up now everything is quiet. Amata is asleep beside me, arm lying across my waist. Everything doesn't hurt as much, though I'm not sure if that's because I'm getting better or someone gave me morphine. I brush the hair off Amata's face and get up out of bed, getting dressed and hopping downstairs. Dad is asleep on the couch with Dogmeat on the floor beside him. Holding myself up against the wall, I creep into the kitchen and sigh. Wash rags litter along the sink, I don't even remember most of these being on my head. Has it even been five days? Was it 10? Or 15? I look over at my hunting rifle and smirk at it.

...

"Bang!" I grin, squeezing the trigger. The glass bottle explodes from my bullet and I grin, wiping my sweaty forehead with a rag.

"Soldier!" someone barks.

I jolt up, immediately regretting the decision to do so. I ignore the tight feeling in my stomach and whirl around, clicking my heels together, "Sir!"

"Jesus Christ at ease," Lyons frowns, "what the hell is wrong with you? I visited you two days ago and I could have sworn you were near death. What was that?"

I shrug and drop my hunting rifle, turning around and sliding my revolver out of its holster.

"Detox," I shrug, firing five quick shots and smacking each target in the face.

"Huh. Wow." she shrugs, "you need to get some rest though."

"I haven't practiced in more than a week. Rest can wait," I grunt, firing at my targets, before handing Lyons a glass bottle, "Throw this for me will you?"

She tosses it in the air and I take aim.

As the tiny glass shards rain onto the ground, making tiny little pitter patter noises, I turn back to her, "You said we could talk Sentinel?"

"I did, Corporal." she nods, a hint of a smirk on her face, "about your service under us."

...

Once again I find myself in the Sentinal's office, though I look much more presentable this time.

"You'll be paid of course, for your service I mean." she nods, sliding out a file. She sits down and opens a drawer, grabbing a pack of cigarettes, "Smoke?" she offers one out to me.

I wave it off, "I don't smoke."

"But Jet is OK?"

"Can we just talk about my service please?" I mutter.

"Right. To the point." she nods, "OK. Here's how this conversation's going to go. You are a Corporal, I am a Sentinal, that means I am your boss. That means, that you shut your mouth and don't talk until you're spoken to. Got it?"

I nod.

"Good. Now, you are not a front-lines type."

"Bu-"

She jabs a finger against my nose, "Last warning. Not a word. Now, I think I've figured out something that will keep us both happy."

I frown at her jabbing my nose but I keep my trap shut.

"You still have some forms to fill out but you can do that later. What we've decided to do is put you on the 'MPs'. This means that you'll be called up for an occassional mission and get paid a regular amount. Kind of a shift between a bench warmer and Military Police to be honest. You'll see action, you'll get access to the best kind of firearms, and most importantly, good quality medical care and life insurance."

She hands me a stack of forms in an envelope, "You and Anna aren't married are you?"

"Amata. And no."

She shrugs, "Shouldn't be a problem with the life insurance. Courier'll come by when we have work for you. He or she will give you a uniform and your essential gear. Say hi to the family for me, and get out of my office."

"Permission to speak?"

She rolls her eyes and flicks her wrist at me.

"Why are you pushing papers?"

She sighs and flicks some ash from her cigarette into an ash tray, "You and I are alike in a way kid. Our fathers always want to 'protect us'."

"But you're like, 35."

"32 dipshit." she mutters, "now get out of here before I have you on sewage duty."

...

I walk up to Amata, who turns around briskly, "Where have you-?"

I grab her waist and jerk her toward me, kissing her lips passionately.

"Where have you been?" she asks, feeling my forehead.

"Practising." I smile, taking her hand away, "thank you, for taking care of-"

"Don't say thank you for something I've done, that you would do in a heart beat."

I nod and she pushes me on the bed, "Stay in bed. Your forehead is still hot."

"I feel fine," I sigh, "I don't want to spend another day in bed."

"Winter you've easily lost 5 kilos from your fever. You need to rest and eat."

Thank god, she's calling it a fever.

"I'll meet you halfway. I'll eat but I don't want to spend another second in that bed more than I need to."

"Hmph..." she smirks, unbuttoning my shirt, exposing the black tank top I'm wearing underneath.

"W... what are you doing?" I frown.

"You'll see." she smirks, "since you're claiming to be feeling better..."

"Woah what're you-"

"Shh..." she grins, sliding my shirt down so it bundles against my elbows and pushing me down on the bed.

"Woah! Jesus-" I laugh, my breath quickening and heart pounding. My forehead starts to burn and my eyes start watering from the heat. My fingers bunch against the blankets as I hold myself up, my arms trembling a little bit.

Amata trails kisses around my neck and chest, before my arms give way.

"Damn," I swear. She giggles and keeps kissing and touching me.

...

I growl and pant, scrunching my eyes tight and writhing around a bit in the bed. Amata chuckles and lies down beside me, kissing my cheek and playing with my sweat soaked hair.

"Leave my hair alone," I growl, playfully swiping at her wrist.

"Shh I'm trying to make you look like a female Sid Vicious."

"How do you know who Sid Vicious is?" I frown as she ruffles my hair to make it spikier than it usually is.

She rolls her eyes, "Sex Pistols, five records down from the battered Ink Spots vinyl you had in your apartment."

I roll onto my stomach, looking at the flickering candle beside us. Amata smiles as I press my lips against her cheek and I close my eyes.

"Get some rest beautiful," she smiles.

"'Mata?" I mumble.

"Yeah?"

"Next time you want to fuck me for the pure purpose of making me exhausted, please, be more subtle about it."

She smirks and rolls away from me, "I'll try. Good night Daniels."

"Oh that's gonna cost me..." I chuckle, moving up and slipping a hand over her stomach, "Night."

Her hand holds mine and we lie in silence for what seems like hours, looking at the small crack in the roof of our house, showing a glint of the night sky above us. Aside from me still feeling hot, everything seems... OK. Perfect, even. I kiss her neck softly and she sighs happily.

"We'll be OK." she smiles, stroking my hand with her thumb, "as long as we're together, we'll be OK."

"No matter what." I murmur against her skin.


	20. The Kids are in the Firing Line

Five months later

"Barkeep!" I shout at Gob over the roar of dozens of conversations around me, "where's my damn new beer?"

Gob chuckles and hands me a new beer, "I'll assume this is just the beer talking."

"Whatever you wanna think…" I trail off, drinking a quarter of the glass and slamming it down onto the table. I was pissed right the fuck off. Corporal Winter Daniels was yet to see action, and several visits to the BoS outpost provided me with a boot up my ass for being impatient and a cold chill leaking through the thin walls, accompanied by the screams of panic and agony from self-harming, suicidal prisoners. Sarah Lyons was nowhere to be found, with soldiers rolling their eyes as I approached them asking for her. My feelings of being the odd kid out have left me in a mood over the past few days, much to my family's irritation. In an annoyance and not wanting to give away my recruitment to Amata, I decide a few nights a month at the bar, drinking, socialising, laughing and the occasional game of poker using filthy, 200 year old decks, only to stumble home in the early hours and collapse into bed.

My recent bar exploits have Amata pissed. When I walk into our bed at 2AM, I found Amata waiting for me, ordering me to shower and change my smelly clothes. Tonight, Amata warned me to be home by 7, and to "not be drunk off my face". It doesn't take a genius to know why she wants me to be relatively sober.

"Happy birthday kid," Moriarty grins, ruffling my hair and handing me a small box.

"Moriarty you didn't have to get me anything," I laugh, opening the box and looking inside, "what is it?"

"_It _is a nice little attachment for your revolver," he says, holding it out, "small little scope."

"Can revolvers even have scopes?" I frown, slowly sliding my revolver out of its holster. Moriarty snatches it from my hands and slips and locks it into the tiny holes just above and in front of the cylinder.

"Wow," I grin, pointing the gun at the table and looking down the scope, "this will help me so much out in the field. Thanks so much Moriarty… I didn't think you would want to give these away."

"Bah, you're a good kid and you've been through a lot. Figured you might need a leg up."

I give him a hug and smile, "Thanks Moriarty."

"Not a trouble in the slightest. It seems like a month ago that you were just a babe, all wrapped up in a blanket with your father yelling at me for a room and you in his arms, acting so innocent. Seems like a day ago that Nova was dragging you up to a room."

"For the love of god, don't bring that up around Amata," I laugh, "she'll rip Nova's head off and shove it down my throat."

He laughs and shrugs, "If you ask nicely."

I roll my eyes at him and glance down at my Pip-boy, "Oh uh… crap sorry… I have to go. I promised Amata that I would be home by 7 and it's 7:30."

"Ha!" he bursts out laughing and turns, yelling "Gob! Get your worthless ass over here!"

Gob huffs and I raise an eyebrow as I stand up and finish my beer.

"OK, tab comes to 30 caps," Gob sighs, writing down what the pool of drinks around me are and how much they cost.

"We don't charge people for birthday drinks you stupid idiot!" he tuts, whacking him over the head, hard.

"Ease up Moriarty," I sigh, "he's just doing his job."

He scowls and gestures toward the door, "Have a nice night kid."

"I'll try…" I sigh, less than eager to go home to an angry Amata and a surprise party with people I argue with on a regular basis.

…

I sigh as I reach the house, relatively sober, just as Amata asked. I hear Dogmeat barking and I put my hand on the doorknob. "One hour at a time Winter," I encourage myself as I turn the handle, "one hour at a time."

Opening the door grants me a blast of warm air and I find the living room empty. I see Amata's gun and coat on the bench beside the door, so I know she's home.  
"Hello?" I frown, dropping my gun and checking in the kitchen. It's empty but it has a strong, pleasant smell of food that makes my stomach growl in anticipation. I turn around and Amata kisses my lips, "Hey," she smiles softly, "happy birthday."

"Hey," I kiss her back and pull away gently, "I'm sorry, I know you said 7 but I-"

"It's fine sweetheart," she chuckles, hugging me tightly and pecking my lips, "I knew you wouldn't be there on time, that's why I set the party for 8."

"You thought of everything," I smirk and my hands wander down her body, "What should we do until then?"

She rolls her eyes and gently pushes me away, making me walk back and sit against the couch.

"Be patient," she chuckles, handing me a Nuka Cola and going back to the kitchen. I grin and look over at her through the open door at the kitchen.

"You aren't drunk are you?" she calls back and looks over her shoulder at me.

I take a drink and shake my head, "I'll be fine. I had a few drinks but it isn't too bad."

I lie on the couch and take a few drinks, trying to block out the thoughts that I had previously during the day about home. I pick up a book and flip through the pages subconsciously, smiling, "How was work?"

"Average. I'm sure Church is holding back on my wages."

"Considering how many times he's patched us up I think he's a bit justified."

"I know I know," she smiles, "don't bring it up around him when he's around will you?"

"Need anything?" I ask her as I walk into the kitchen. I wrap my arms around her middle and kiss her neck.  
"Don't even think about it Daniels," she chuckles, focusing on cooking the pieces of Iguana.

"You think so little of me," I smirk and kiss her cheek, "but honestly, please? 10 minutes?"

She bursts out laughing and turns around, whacking the back of my head.

"I was joking!" I laugh, holding my hands up to block more of her attacks.

"Pft don't patronise me."

"I wasn't," I grin as she tries to whack me again. I grab her waist and hoist her up, my arms straining as I do so.

"Let me down!" she laughs, wriggling in my arms and pressing her kneecaps against my stomach to push against me, "Winter! Let go of me!"

I smirk and teasingly hold onto her tighter, adoring the way she grins at me.

"Ow!" I laugh as she whacks my shoulder, "evil little nerd!"

"Oh you're dead now I-"

We both hear a sharp rap on the door and Amata gasps, "Oh shit…" she curses softly as I drop her, "they're _so _early."

"Relax it'll be fine," I smirk, walking to the door as she races for the kitchen, slamming the door behind her and masking the smell of dinner. I don't know why she's covering it up now; it was supposed to be a surprise for _me_.

I open the door and my smile immediately fades. I don't know the man at my door. He's small and plump, with a pink face and a stubbly beard and his stomach eager to burst through his tight button down shirt. Overweight men are hard to come by nowadays, it usually means that the person has enough money, fame and/or connections to not have to move around too much. That also usually means the person is difficult to get along with, self-entitled assholes.

"Can I help you?" I ask, scratching the back of my head.

"Name?" he asks gruffly, producing a clipboard.

"Uh… Winter Daniels." I frown.

"Sign here," he grumbles. I sign the paper and he produces a large sack, dumping it in my arms and almost making me drop it from the weight it carries.

"Woah what's all this?" I ask.

"Welcome aboard soldier," he salutes me, the leaves. I open the sack and take a look inside, before racing upstairs and dumping the bag on the bed.

"Hey," I gasp, running into the kitchen, "I'm just gonna change real quick alright? I stink."

"Yes you do," she chuckles, not taking her eyes off the food she's cooking, "who was at the door?"

"Walter wanted me to hold some stuff for him," I say, reminding myself to frantically inform Walter of the lie I was spinning before Amata could get a hold of him. I still haven't told Amata about my affiliation with the Brotherhood of Steel, because well, I figure the consequences of that decision could lead to an arse kicking.

Welp, my Brotherhood of Steel uniform finally arrived. It isn't the whole metal power armour outfit that most soldiers bragged about having and wearing, nah, this is something else. My uniform consists of a few white and grey t-shirts with the Brotherhood's logo on the left breast, and black, pristine condition cargo pants with at least a dozen pockets along the legs, with tanned combat boots and a grey baseball cap with MP painted on the front in black. A service rifle now rests against the bed, along with 10 clips of ammo. From a glance, the weapon looks to be in pristine condition as well. I'll find time to properly look at it later. I reach down to the small velvet box in the bottom of the bag. Where or how do they find of produce these products? I slowly open the box and smile at the two glinting pieces of metal gazing up at me. It has the Brotherhood logo on one side and, upon turning it over, my name and rank. I glance over my shoulder, listening for movement, before frantically stripping off. I carefully dress into the uniform, as if the fabric's made of tissue paper. I choose the white shirt and slide my dog tags over my head. I get dressed into the cargo pants and boots, and brush my hair so it sits neat and tidy, instead of how it usually stands out in spikes and tufts, around my head. I look in the mirror and smile to myself. I wasn't tossing and turning in bed at night, dreaming of getting dressed into a proper uniform, but this actually looks good on me.

"Winter… why does it say that you are a Corporal serving under the Brotherhood?" Amata asks, folding her arms and standing right beside me.

"Um…" I trail off, scratching the back of my head and looking down at the evidence before me; it almost stares up at me, laughing, "Well… I…"

She sighs and walks downstairs, not saying a word and sitting down on the couch. She buries her face in her hands and shakes her head.

"Amata," I scowl, "I am 20 years old. I'm not sure about you, but this makes me an adult. I am capable of making my own decisions and I'm willing to accept the consequences for them. I love you so much for being you and that you want me to be safe, but I'm not a little kid. I know what I'm doing. I'm doing this for us honey. This won't be a tour of duty, this will be small jobs, I'll be gone for three days tops with every contract. I want to help people who aren't as fortunate and relatively healthy as us. We had talked about doing this for a while after Project Purity. It's the same damn thing Amata, only I'm getting paid for it now."

"Oh sure," she sighs bitterly, "I can't believe that you did this without talking to me first!"

I groan and rip open the envelope that was beside my dog tags. Inside are my orders, to patrol a small threat around a small civilization known as "The Republic of Dave".

Word had gotten around about a massive war around the west a few months ago, supposedly happening in the late months of 2077. They were mostly just little rumours from traders, mostly drunk traders. BoS territories around the mid-east have apparently been taking massive amounts of refugees from the West back in early 2078. Some shit about a dam along the Colorado River. I vaguely remember Mr Brock teaching us about pre-war structures when I was still in school, I remember something about a dam, but to me it all meant learning about things I would never get to see for myself, or at least I thought. For example, I never thought I would ever have to load and clean a revolver every morning, but here we are.

"Look," I hand her the papers, "I might not have to fire a round once! It's just doing patrol work."

"I don't care if all you have to do is read the kids bedtime stories," she growls, "You did this without me!"

"I'm sorry!" I groan, gently rubbing her biceps, "What I'm doing… I'm doing this for us. The pay is 2500 caps. I'll be fine, and we need the money. This is exactly what we've been doing since the day we got out of the Vault, only I'm getting paid to do it. It will be fine. The only reason I didn't tell you was because I knew you'd try to stop me. For a while I thought about why you would. The obvious answer, the one I kept thinking about, was that you love me, and you don't want me to get hurt or killed. For the past few months I would lie in bed and think about that thought, occasionally glancing at you as you slept beside me. I remembered what you said if we went to bed that night after an argument or you were mad at me. You said you would love me no matter what, right?"

Amata looks at me and nods, "Of course. But-"

"As I lay in bed, knowing that you loved me, I thought of something. I love _you_, the same way you love _me_, and our way of showing that is to protect each other with our lives. I'm protecting you so that you don't have to be shot again, that you can work and I will only be gone for a week at most, every few months. This is perfect. I won't be gone for months or years, I'm in Military Police, and I'm not a regular soldier."

She sighs and shakes her head, "You're an idiot."

I look down at my new pristine boots and I feel her lips softly kiss my forehead and she whispers, "But I love you anyway."

I look up and give a small, soft smile before she kisses my lips, "Next time you think about joining a massive military force, warn me in advance will you?"

"I promise," I chuckle softly, "at least admit it; I look good in this uniform don't I?"

She laughs and takes a step back, "It makes you look cockier than you already are… but I'd say you look… nice."

"Nice?"

"Well cute is the wrong word…" she trails off, walking back to me and slipping her arms around my back, "beautiful is wrong as well… Sexy fits it best I think."

I grin but Amata frowns, "Don't think your goofy-ass grin gets you out of the woods, Daniels. I'm still mad at you."

The grin fades quickly and she lightly taps my cheek, "That's better."

I give her an annoyed look and she rolls her eyes, "Oh don't act like butter doesn't melt. Well, you might as well wear this tonight." She flicks her wrist at me, "Though I'm not exactly looking forward to the argument you and your father will have because of it."

"I'll think of something to get him off my back," I shrug.

"We'll have a proper talk about it tomorrow." She walks back into the kitchen and goes back to cooking. She denies me helping and I sit down on the couch, examining my new rifle. I place it on the coffee table and clean the almost spotless gun. I aim down the sight and smile, the stock resting comfortably against my right shoulder. I'll definitely take this baby down to the shooting range in a few days.

"Put that thing down!" Amata scolds, placing some food down on the coffee table, ripping it away from my hands.

"It doesn't have a magazine in it," I say defensively.

"So you're gonna be a gun toting maniac now?" she chuckles, brushing her lips against mine.

"Only if you ask nicely," I tease.

"Pft…" she tuts, picking up my rifle and examining it, "looks good." She takes the gun and puts it beside my much less cleaner hunting rifle as someone knocks on the door.

Dad and Doctor Li stand at our doorway, with Li's arm around his. I raise my eyebrows and lean forward against the couch, looking at them. Li, for the first time, is seen out of her lab gear an instead is wearing a red dress, Dad wearing a red flannel shirt and pants. His beard has been left untrimmed and he looks far more relaxed than usual, and he stinks of chemicals, though it would be a welcoming change from my smell of cigarette smoke and beer. I stand up when Dad enters the room, himself in mid conversation with Amata over how nice the house looks and how lovely Amata herself looks.

"Hey!" he laughs, spotting me walking towards him. He pulls me into a hug and laughs, patting my back and eventually letting me go. I cough and laugh as he breaks away from me, but his grin slowly fades when he takes a look at me, "Winter?"

"Dad… I…" I'm cut off when Lucas walks in.

"Hey kiddo!" he laughs happily, walking up to me and pulling me into a bear hug.

"Ow! Lucas lay off!" I laugh; face tinged red in embarrassment as he drops me.

"Wow!" he grins, looking at my uniform, "BoS now huh?"

"Uh… yeah," I nod, "Corporal actually."

"Proud of you kiddo. Hard to believe it's almost been a year since I was showing you how to load a gun." He chuckles, reaching into a bag and pulling out a leather cowboy hat and plonks it on my head, "Happy birthday kid."

I grin and tip up the front of the hat, "Thanks!"

"Alright, where's the beer?" he claps his hands together, heading for my fridge. I burst out laughing and hand him my beer, "Here. It's not opened."

The other guests arrive and I try to relax and enjoy myself. Amata gives me an old record player that Moira had salvaged, Dad and Doc Li give me a small collection of records and I get various, smaller gifts from the other Megaton residents that showed up, most of whom Amata and I have had dinner with a few times before.

I try not to get drunk, though when Dad finally pulls me away to the chairs outside my house, I've had more than a few hits of whiskey and beer.

"How could you do this?" he sighs, rubbing his face, "You _surely_ know the dangers by now of what this world can bring, and yet you _willingly _toss yourself into this… this world of rape, deception, violence and hate! I… I don't know what to say to you."

"Dad we've had this conversation so many times. I'm so sick of it." I complain, "Fuck, I'm 20 years old _today_! You don't have to look out for me anymore! I know what I'm doing. I'm in Military Police, not in a merc squad."

"I didn't spend days and days watching you have a drug overdose for you to just toss your life aside like this! Do you know how _difficult_ it was for Amata and myself? I had to tell her that you were just running a bad fever, that you'd kick it in a few days. I thought that you were going to _die _Winter! Now what? I have to go to bed every night knowing that you might be off charging into Super Mutant occupied towns? Clearing out raider infested buildings? Over dosing on Jet in a trench somewhere?"

"I've put that shit behind me!" I shout, "that was to help with insomnia! Rather than spend whatever little sleep I had with chronic night terrors, I decided I'd prevent Amata having a heart attack by taking a mind relaxer. Do I regret doing it? Fuck yes! I _hate _myself for it!"

"Atomic gave you the drugs didn't he?"  
"So what if he did?"

"Because I fired him off the project."

"Why?! I went through hell to get him to join!"

"Because he gave you _drugs _Winter!"  
"OK. A) He's not a drug dealer, he was helping me with everything. B) He didn't shove the inhaler down my throat; I'm an adult capable of making my own stupid decisions! So re-hire him and just _fucking accept the current situation and be happy for me for once!_"

"No!" he jams a finger under my nose, "what I think you're doing is extremely childish. How _dare _you think that for one second Amata or I will _ever _be OK with this? You're an incredibly stupid, immature, ignorant, stubborn _child_ who _isn't _capable of making her own decisions! I would rather rot in that Tranquillity Lane chair for the rest of eternity than you have to exit Vault 101. You know why? Because you're _stupid _Winter. You make _stupid _decisions, you do stupid things, and you say stupid things. You belong with the rest of those ignorant souls in that Vault, happy and content with spending every waking moment acting stupider than the moment before that! Grow up Winter! Grow up, and abandon this horrible uniform and everything that it means."

"Dad…" I frown, standing up as he starts walking away, "do you know why I'm a Corporal in the Brotherhood?"

He sighs and shrugs his shoulders, "Enlighten me."

"Because children of Brotherhood personnel get promoted to Corporal immediately after enlisting." I say, looking him dead in the eye as he turns back to look at me. I stand my ground when he gives me an angry look, and I open my mouth.

"Dad, I don't care about the lies anymore. I'm sick of the feelings I get from them. I know that mum was a BoS scientist that served under the Project and that she died a few months after I was born. I don't care what bullshit lie you spin, I don't even care about what you think about my enlistment. I'm in the BoS so I can delude myself into thinking that I'm helping people out here. I can provide for myself and Amata while I'm doing so. If you don't like that, fine, whatever. But you won't guilt trip me into feeling bad about this. This is what I want to do, I want to fight and help. I don't want to sit in a Megaton bar every day, twiddling my thumbs and ignore the sex slaves that travel with the merchants, the mangled carcasses lining the roads on my way to the BoS bases. I'm not content with that. I'm _exactly _like you Dad; we do stupid things to help so many people. You have your Project, I have my uniform. Deal with it."

He looks at me for a long time, before closes his eyes and sighs deeply, "You… are exactly like your mother. So stubborn and determined… and you look so much like her."

He chokes back a sob and wipes his eyes, "You have to _promise _me that you'll be careful."

"Dad come on," I sigh.

"I wasn't even supposed to be in the same _room_ as you on your 20th birthday," he sniffs, "I'm sorry. Just- today… I expected today to be a day where I knew that you would be OK. When Amata opened the door, with that big smile on her face, I thought that you guys may have a shot at the normal life I always dreamed that you would have."

"Maybe a normal come-home-at-5 lifestyle doesn't cut it for me." I sigh, drinking the last of my beer and walking for the front door.

…

I walk upstairs and open the door to my bedroom. Amata is lying, half asleep, on the bed and under the covers. Everyone's left, except Dad and Li who were staying (Amata insisted before I could say anything), leaving a mess of dishes and bottles of alcohol that I'll be forced to clean tomorrow, handicapped with a crippling hangover. I sigh and shake my head at her sprawled out body, smiling when she looks up and smiles at me.

"Hey," I smile, sitting down on the bed beside her and stroking her cheek, "couldn't stay awake huh?"

"You two have long discussions," she says quietly, her voice laced with sleep.

"Important discussions," I shrug, "long, frustrating discussions."

"He loves you," she murmurs, "remember that."

"I know." I sigh, lying down next to her.

"When do you leave?"

"Two days." I slip my arms around her and hold her loosely. Amata whimpers and holds my hand tightly, moving closer to me, "So I can't go with you?"

I shake my head, "The whole point of-"

"Shh," she whispers, kissing my lips gently, "just say no."

"No." I smile sadly. She kisses me again and I hold her tightly.

"Winter…" she whispers, "I love you so much."

"Hey," I chuckle softly, "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be a half-day walk away for three days, not across an ocean for 18 months."

"I know," she sighs, "I just… love you. A lot."

"I love you too," I smile.

"I'm sorry you didn't have the night that you wanted." she sighs, pushing against me and straddling my waist.

I grin up at her and she yanks off my hat, "Maybe I can make you enjoy at least _one _thing about tonight."

"Amata?" I question, "come on… my Dad and Li are in the next room."

"Then be quiet," she grins, kissing my neck and threading a hand through my hair. I groan and my eyes roll to the back of my head.

"Shh..." she smirks.

She takes off my shirt and I kiss her, ignoring the small nudge of Cindy that always hits my mind. I gaze up at her as she slides off her own shirt.

…

_Two days later_

I start lacing my boots before I hear a knock on the door, "Come in." I sigh, standing up and putting on my hat.

Amata walks in and takes a look at me and sighs, "Are you ready?"

I nod, "Ready as I ever will be."

She hugs me tightly and I kiss her deeply.

"I love you," I smile, "I'll be back before you know it."

"I love you," she sighs, "try to pay attention."

I laugh and slip the rifle over my shoulder using the strap, "I'll try."

"Smartass," she tuts, whacking the back of my head gently, though the whack is mostly her fingers brushing against the back of my hair.

…

"Do you, in your honest opinion, think that you can do your job effectively with your disability?"

I sit with my Commanding Officer, Knight Easy, outside the main command office, overlooking a small BoS outpost just outside the Republic of Dave. The man's black hair is starting to have wisps of white and grey, his fingers wrinkled with veins running along his hands. He has a steely cold expression of a man who has seen plenty of combat, and his green eyes bore into mine in an act of intimidation. I feel like he's examining my every move, every blink, every breath, where I'm pointing my eyes. I sigh and tap the prosthesis with my fingers, drumming them against the plastic subconsciously before I respond, "I can shoot as well as I did before the accident. What's changed now?"

He shakes his head, "This isn't a lecture or an assessment of any kind," bullshit it isn't, "I just want to know how confident you are in your abilities."

I sigh and lean forward, staring into his eyes as he tries to stare me down, "Look. I'm here to do my job, I'm gonna sit on a lawn chair and point my rifle at the horizon, anything mutated comes at me, I'll shoot it. A battalion of raiders come at me, I'll shoot it. If a rabid junkie comes at me with a grenade, I'm not going to piss my pants because I'm one quarter dead."

"One quarter dead?" he frowns as I sling my rifle over my shoulder.

I shrug, "Just an expression I pulled out my ass. Where do you want me?"

He rolls his eyes and points at the entrance of the town, "Just don't act like a kid with a gun."

"No sir," I smirk.

"Your partner is Sergeant Washington. Get used to him and be patient. He can be a smartass when he needs to be."

I walk along the outpost, examining the poorly organized carnage around me. Soldiers lie around in cots, CO's bark orders at half dead Initiates, cooks heat up some kind of thick grey sludge that makes my stomach gurgle in disgust. Corpsman run around patching up moaning and wailing souls, civilians fight each other for supplies and medicine, and to top it all off a nice little row of dead bodies line the side of the camp, tucked away by blankets and await shipping back to wherever they came from. Seems like a nice place, up north.

…

"Hey," I cough, dust still getting caught in my breath, "you're Washington?"

"One in the same," he grunts, "You're the kid?"

"That's me. I'm Daniels."

"You got a first name Daniels?"

"I didn't know we were on a first name basis," I chuckle, sitting down on the lawn chair and looking at the horizon ahead of us. It's dotted by several small hills, but other than that, I have a pretty decent view of what's ahead of me. I glance down at my watch, and wait.

"Bored already kid?" he chuckles.

"No sir." I shake my head.

"Just call me Washington." He sighs, "Last thing I need is a green grunt formal kid."

"Fine then. I'll call you Washington if you do something for me."

"Shoot,"

"Don't call me 'Kid'."

"No, I actually mean shoot," he points a dusty, gloved hand at the horizon. I whip my head around and spot a small gang of ghouls wandering toward our general direction. The things are a sickly shade of red from years of being exposed to the sun. Blisters cover their bodies and they're barely covered by rags from the clothes that they died in. I stand up and position myself so that the rifle is resting against the sandbags and I'm kneeling above it. I line up my shot as they wander close to 100 metres from the camp.

"You gonna take all day?" he grunts, "fuck!"

"No point wasting ammo on far targets I might miss," I peer through the sight and concentrate on my target, "I'll let them get a little closer…"

Washington groans and rips my revolver from my holster and fires it in the air.

"What the hell?!" I shout, my ears ringing from how close the barrel was when he fired. The sound of the shot rips through the air, and the ghouls stop dead, heads craning for the source of the shot. They spot me and I swear they could lick their lips and tounge if they still had any. They start running for their meal, making the targets much more difficult to hit. I mutter under my breath as I line up my shot. I aim for the chests and fire when each one reaches to be within 20 metres of me.

"Kid!" Washington shouts as I run out of bullets. As I calmly reach for a new clip, I look up and see Washington fire his gun. The bullet jams in the barrel.

"Fuck!" he swears as one reaches the sandbags. The stupid feral thing stumbles over the sandbags and collapses against the dirt inches from my feet. I press my boot against his head, jaws wildly snapping, mouth hissing and howling, and limbs flailing, desperate for a taste of the flesh inches from his face. I slide out my hunting knife and slide the blade into its skull, instantly killing it. I step over the corpse and slide out my revolver, easily picking off the last few. The last shot I fire is from close range, I send the bullet flying for the last ghouls head, and his head explodes like an orange. Bits of brains and skull fly in all directions, blood splashing onto my brand new shirt.

"Shit," I swear, looking at Washington, "I've gotta scrub all this shit off."

"We have cleaners for the big stuff," he pants, smacking at his rifle, "you did well under the kind of pressure."

"Thanks… I guess…" I trail off, picking up the frail body and tossing it over the sandbags, "clean your weapon will you? For fuck's sake..."

"Yeah, of course."

"Seriously? What if that was a raider? I could have been shot!"

"Just relax alright? I have a side arm, same as you."

"Then fucking use it," I scowl, walking around the sandbags.

"Now where do you think you're going?" he calls as I start walking for the horizon.

"I'm gonna go scout the area for a while; try to pick off a few stragglers if I see any."

"Just don't get out of my sight!" he warns as I walk off.

"Whatever," I mutter.

I cross the horizon, the bottom of my boot being swallowed up in the dust and dirt with every step. My eyes scan the vast, empty terrain, looking at every shadow and resting my finger against the trigger. I snap off the scope to my revolver and use it as a small telescope. I suddenly stop, lowering my scope in shock as I hear it.

Quiet. Everything's… quiet. Aside from the wind, I don't hear a sound. I'm too far from the camp to hear chatter, there are no bullets cutting through the air, there is no Amata talking beside me or Dogmeat panting from the heat. There is no quiet hum of generators, no arguing civilians, no rattling of cap pouches. The silence is deafening, and a ball of tension rises in my throat. In a moment of sure stupidity I consider firing a round to break the quiet air, but my common sense interrupts me after a second of said thought. I forgot how much noise had become a subconscious presence in my life, and now it had been ripped away, detached like a critical component in a terminal.

I push the stupid thoughts from my mind and lie on my stomach and scan the area. A few shots across an area as empty as this, the sound could carry for miles. Shots generally mean injury or death, and death has a chance at meaning free supplies… or food. Depending on who hears the shot of course? Sometimes it's a dog, sometimes it's a squad of mutants, sometimes it's a small child running toward anything that might mean a meal. Depending on how stubborn the listener is, for every shot you fire to kill, another three may be on their way.

After a good ten minutes of scanning with no signs of movement, I walk back to Washington, who's busy cleaning his rifle. I watch him work, long, thick fingers moving gracefully along the weapon with a professional sense of confidence that I can't claim to have yet.

"This has never happened before," he grunts, not looking up from his rifle.

"I'm sure you've never said that before about anything," I chuckle, sitting down on the lawn chair and resting my feet against the sandbags, tipping my hat so it covers my eyes. Suddenly I'm brought back to the familiarity of noise, the sound of clicking and banging and grunting as Washington cleans his weapon.

"Want a smoke?" he asks suddenly.

"I don't smoke."

"Let me see your left hand. Hold it up so it's in line with your face."

I do what he asks and he stares at my hand for a long time, before he shakes his head, "You need to start smoking."

"Excuse me?"

"Because you're a woman, apparently you're supposed to have steady hands; yours still trembles a little bit. So, if you smoke, it calms down your shaking hands."

"I'm not sure they work that way…"

"Who made you the smoking expert? What's the worst thing that could happen? Pft, sure you might get lung cancer, but that shit takes something like 30 years. You're a fucking moron if you think that you're gonna live 30 more years as a BoS MP." He holds out a smoke and I reluctantly take it, lighting it with a match. I take a little suck, before erupting into a coughing fit. Fucking hell! Jet wasn't _nearly _as bad as this!  
"Oh grow a pair of balls," he chuckles, "it gets easier, smoother even."

I sigh and slowly ease my way through the cigarette as two hours pass. The sun cools, and eventually we're relieved of duty. I line up for the gourmet grey sludge I saw earlier, and it tastes as good as it looks. I fight to keep the food down as I find a spare cot in the tent. I only have my rifle and ammo as possessions, so I put them in the foot locker beside the bed, lock it with the key resting inside the rusting padlock and crawl into bed. It's only around 10 at night, but I've reached the level of exhaustion I was hoping for.

The next three days are routine. Get up, fight breakfast down, smoke and play poker with Washington as we watch our look out/patrol points, get relieved of duty, fight dinner down, then pass out. The worst we got was a small band of three super mutants, armed to the teeth with a wooden board. That was the closest we came to immediate danger, aside from the ghoul incident on the first day. I shoot each mutant in their bulging chests from at least 50 metres away, not wanting to risk anything. Washington's a calm mother fucker, he only gets jitters when they get really close or when I fire when he's reading something, a faded pin-up calendar or something like that, I don't ask. He's also a fucking funny bastard, swears more than I do, I think it's affecting my speech or some shit like that. I'm relieved of duty by a tiny woman in a formal uniform, looking pissed off as I cry out, "Thank fuck for that!"

I leave before anyone calls me back, leaving with a supply convoy of two skinny guys with barely a shard of confidence on their faces. I even earn myself an extra 50 caps for "guarding" them against the horrors of a rabid mole rat. Jesus Christ, some of these guys are wimps.

…

I open the door and Amata jumps up, reaching for her gun.

"Shit," she gasps, "damn you scared me!"

"Nice to see you too," I laugh, hugging her. She hugs me tightly and kisses my lips softly, "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too."

She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me deeply, a big smile on her face. I kiss back and wrap my arms around her tightly, lifting her up a bit. I feel her legs slide around my back and I slip my arms under her thighs to support her.

"Mmph." She mumbles as one of my hands reach to unbutton her shirt, "not now."

I groan and reluctantly withdraw my hand, "There's never a good time is there?"

"Not when your Dad is still in the house no," She whispers, cradling my cheek and kissing me again.

"He's still in the house?!" I groan, "why?! It's been a week!"

"He wanted to be here when you came home." She shrugs, "to treat any injuries you have… apparently."

"Well I'm fine. Worst I got was a cut on my finger."

"Did you really miss me?" she giggles as I ease her down.

"No," I sigh, "I counted every minute I was away from you as a victory."  
"Smartass," she giggles, kissing me again tenderly.

"Dad!" I shout, "I'm home! You can stop pretending that you aren't listening to me now!"

"Another good start…" Amata groans.

Dad walks downstairs and gruffly mutters, "Someone had to keep Amata company."

I ignore him and sit down on the couch, before placing my rifle down on the coffee table. I start cleaning as I talk to my father and girlfriend. I tell them about Washington and my CO, and the strange sense of peace when everything is quiet. They pretend to listen, but Dad is distracted as he checks me for injuries, and Amata is too busy undressing me with her eyes to register anything that comes out of my mouth. Amata sits down to help me after Dad leaves, though she's more of a distraction.

She kisses and touches me as I'm cleaning the blood off the polished wood. The display of affection she gives me makes me relax for the first time in days. I lie back, fingers breaking away from my rifle and moving up to her hair.

"I missed you so much Blue Eyes," she sighs, kissing my jawline, "so. Much."

"I missed you too Princess," I smile, "do you feel better about my job now?"  
"Absolutely. I don't want to make a complete judgement yet but I think that this could definitely work for us." she smiles, "and I'm so glad my baby's finally back to annoy me again, instead of your dad."

I cuddle and kiss her on the couch.

I love this little place in Megaton. For a really long time I'd considered the Vault to be the home that my father had taken away from Amata and myself, and in a way, that is still true. But this place made me feel the most comfortable and safe. Sure, it has some bad memories within its walls, fuck the only reason we have the place at all was because I dismantled an atomic bomb, but this is the place I want to spend the rest of my life calling "home".

…

_"I figure you're crazy," Susie laughs, chewing on her food._

_"C'mon," I laugh, stealing one of her fries, "you seriously want to spend the rest of your life doing the same thing?"_

_"Winter, you're insane. In case you haven't noticed, my Dad and brother aren't exactly your biggest fans at the moment."_

_I subconsciously rub the bridge of my nose, "Yeah I figured. Seriously though, did you put any thought into it?"_

_"Gee," she rolls her eyes, "Stay here, with hot showers, food, safety and clean clothes, or go outside into a nuclear wasteland so I can die knowing I gave up the only safe haven in the world in exchange for a little variety in life. Yeah, it's a real moral debate."_

_"OK, it's been what? 200 years? So nothing has been rebuilt? It's just a desolate wasteland?"_

_"The Overseer told us…"_

_"Fucking Overseer could tell you your jumpsuit was green and you'd believe him," I mutter. _

_"Don't act like a child Winter," she sighs, standing up and pushing the scraps of her food toward me for me to finish off, "You're acting really stupid. I'm not going."_

_"You really wanna be a teacher all your life?" I sigh irritably, pushing her bowl away and walking after her._

_"I'd like to be alive," she scowls, "and I'd prefer for you to be alive as well. The fact we're even discussing this is absolutely ridiculous!"_

_"Susie I'm bored here. I can't spend the next 80 years of my life having sex with you in an old apartment- hey!"_

_ I avoid her hand as it travels toward my cheek, "I didn't mean it like that!" _

_She sighs and lowers her hand, "Look. I love you, but you're 19 years old. Can't we spend a few years doing what we do best?"_

_I frown, "What's that?" _

_She smiles and kisses me deeply, "I remember you talking about an apartment somewhere…"_

_I grin and she grabs my hand. I follow her and grin, before turning around a corner. _

_"Crap!" Susie screams and flings herself at me._

_"What? What is it?" I frown. I look down and see two radroaches crawling toward us. I raise an eyebrow and slowly drop her, "Easily fixed," I chuckle, "scaredy cat."_

_I raise my foot and stomp it against the radroach. I hear an explosion and my leg blows apart, my muscles, tendons, and bone flying across the halls. _

"Fuck!" I shout, jolting bolt-upright on the floor. Crap, we never made it from the floor. I'm sure I remember the couch, fuck I must have blacked out again.

"Shit," Amata gasps, eyes snapping open and arm tightening around my waist.

"Damn," I mutter, hands clambering for the leg I don't have. Well, that's a really crappy reality check, "sorry beautiful."  
"Dreams again?" she kisses my cheek and nuzzles against me again.

"Go back to sleep, love," I smile, wiping away the cold sweat that trickles down my forehead, "just a stupid nightmare."

"Poor baby," she teases, resting her head against my shoulder.

"Shut the fuck up," I chuckle, fingering her hair subconsciously.

The house grunts and shifts around us, the wooden boards settling as I hear the soft pad of Dogmeat's paws trotting around the house. He must have heard my shouting and did a patrol sweep. I look up and see him creep past us, completely ignoring our naked bodies beside him. I pick myself up and get dressed.

"Good boy," I smile, ruffling Dogmeat's fur. He licks my palm and I pick up my crutches, not bothering with the prosthesis.

"Where are you off to?" Amata yawns, leaning against the couch, "It's 5AM."

"Target practise," I yawn, sliding on my holster belt and grabbing my revolver.

…

I slump against the side of one of the many destroyed houses in Springvale and groan, feeling warm as the early morning sun bathes me. Dogmeat lays next to me, forever the loyal comrade at my side, the stubborn stupid git. I light a cigarette and take a small drag, still coughing like Butch did when he first tried smoking when he was 13 outside the park. The smoke didn't hold itself down, his stomach regurgitating and evacuating his breakfast onto the ground below him. I was only around 11 at the time, Amata almost 10; we thought it was the funniest thing in the world. Butch didn't think it was funny, especially when he was lying on the clinic bed with a green face and I cracking up watching my Dad give him the smoking lecture in front of the sickly, oily teen's mother. If only I'd actually paid more attention.

To be honest, I just wanted to get away from Amata. I love her with everything I have, but damn, I'm getting sick of being coddled. The way she held me when I walked in the door yesterday, the way she looked at me when I woke up this morning, god I feel like a fucking sick patient, like she didn't expect me to come home at all.

I watch a few BoS crews go by, toward the general direction of the prison, carrying dynamite and dressed like miners from old pre-war propaganda posters. They look busy, some already covered in a thick layer of dust and grime. They argue as they pass, completely ignoring me as I watch them curiously.

"We need _way _more than this!" one argues, "they made those walls to last!"

"If we need more we'll get more. Raider's already did a good job chipping into it, had we left them alone for a few more months maybe we wouldn't need this job in the first place."

"Whatever. With that stupid bullshit in Nevada and the Enclave throwing their weight around, I'm not sitting around while my kids are in the firing line."

"You and I both know that NCR is a BoS ally."

"PFT! NCR is an ally to us only because of our technology. They're shit all over us the second we're of no value. I want this thing cleared and my kids safe until everything settles down."

I roll my eyes as they disappear into the school. It makes sense to create new bunkers for refugees but I doubt explosives will help a considerable amount. I sit there for around an hour with Dogmeat, listening to the soft thumping noises from each explosion and watching the ground tremble underneath me. Dogmeat seems disturbed by it, but I just scratch behind his ears as I smoke.


	21. In The Garage

**OK, I thought about it, and the chapter I had written beforehand will now be a two parter. Why? Because it took me a long time to get the full chapter done before I deleted it (genius). So, I figure I'll give you guys time to read the first half while I start writing the second half, hope you guys don't mind.**

**Also, fun fact, I'm a die hard Weezer fan. All the chapter's names so far in their Word documents have been Weezer songs, but I always changed them at the last minute, well, except for Pinkerton but that doesn't really count. So, I figure I'd just use In The Garage for this one since it's the first time it's actually been relevant.**

**See you soon people :-)**

* * *

I turn my head and look out at the desolate landscape around us. The entire horizon is a vast collection of hills and sudden dips, with the occasional crater from some kind of explosion, old or recent. A scorched, cracked highway trails along my line of sight and runs along to the faint spots in the distance that is Downtown DC, the hot zone that none of us want anything to do with.

My toes curl up and hit the worn rubber of the black Converse shoes Amata had managed to snag me for Christmas this year, probably the most comfortable shoes to get around in, even if they do have holes in them and the rubber is almost all gone and people can see a bit of the metal of my right foot. My fingers fiddle subconsciously with the cards in my hand and I focus, looking for any sudden movements of figures around us.

"I'll raise," Amata sighs, dropping a worn out cap onto the ground between us.  
I look down at the chip for a second and smirk, "You seriously want me to take the bait?"  
She smiles up at me and shrugs, biting her bottom lip and nodding at my stack of chips, "Your move Daniels."  
I look at her, not breaking eye contact with a smug grin on my face. She's wearing one of my BoS shirts, a clear violation in the rules but nobody who's seen her wear any of my uniform really seems to mind.

Amata and I had to unfortunately spend Christmas and now the first week of 2079 on several supply and civilian transport runs. Well, Amata didn't have to go, but she claimed that her accompanying me would be a Christmas present, and a decent one at that. Her words, not mine. She can be annoying at times, but she's my girl, and it's been nice to travel around to different towns together, as weird as that sounds. What has been a pain; however, are the people with us.

Every year at Christmas, all the Downtown DC based BoS personnel invite their families to spend Christmas in the safety of the Citadel, the BoS' main base and arguably to safest place in Washington DC. Because of this, Amata and I, along with a dozen other BoS soldiers, have been charging around the past few weeks picking up families and dropping them off to the Citadel. And what an _exhausting _experience that has been. I never thought I would see a fat person again until I rolled up to the towns these families lived in. Big, large mounds of fat lumber along, wives and children waddling with us, begging for rests under the beating hot sun after 30 minutes of walking.

They whine for more food, for better cooked food at that. They demand their children be given more blankets, even if it means that some of us have to go without for the night. They chew down medicine as well and guzzle down water, tossing away valuable canteens and boys rudely belching and talking while someone is announcing the day's itinerary. Oh and how they _love _to perve on Amata. Overweight and hormone fuelled teenaged boys practically drool over her as she walks beside me in a tank top. The poor boys, they probably haven't seen a woman under 100 kilos in their lives; and a 50 kilo, bronze skinned Amata drives them absolutely wild, though the same kind of goes for me. The looks of complete contempt I get from them when they see her kiss me at dinner is absolutely priceless. I guess I'm not as good looking as she is I guess.

At night, I crawl into the tent, filthy and exhausted from a long day of either working on setting up the camp and breaking up fights from soldiers and pushy kids. I collapse into a warm cocoon of blankets and try to keep myself warm. I can hear the husbands and their wives, the rustling of fabric. The noise… it's… nightmarish. I'm far too tired to bother yelling. I lie, spooning Amata, almost always falling asleep in less than three minutes. I wake up, and start the day all over again.

The moments like these in this little watch tower, us being together, by ourselves. There are no people banging down on our door, no sound of people arguing or guns being fired, no Dogmeat drooling and constantly licking our hands in search for food. It's a shame we spend it on watch duty or playing poker on the wooden platform that belongs to a Pre-war watch tower 100 metres from out camp.

"OK, I'll bite," I take the cigarette out of my mouth and drop two chips down on the mouldy wood below us.  
"How many cigarettes is that today?" she frowns as she drops another chip into the pot.  
"Only one, don't worry," I lie, flicking some ash onto the wood, "I stand."  
Amata and I have spent the past three hours playing poker, and it's pretty much the worst thing I could ever have suggested for our relationship. See, I tend to lie… a lot, whenever I'm in trouble with Amata for something. Hell, I'm 99% sure she knows this isn't my first cigarette for today, even though I only smoke on watch so I'm calmer. When you play poker with someone, you start to discover their "tells", what they do when they're lying and when to call them out on it. Amata doesn't normally lie, and she sucks at it. What she _is _good at however, is finding out when I'm lying. So, I make up fake tells to throw her off course, even if it means deliberately losing a few hands.

"Fuck," I groan as she shows her two queens.  
"Lemmie see what you had," she chuckles when I reach for her cards to shuffle the filthy, grimy and sticky pack. I ignore her and slip her cards into the deck. Before I can move, she grabs my cards and rips them away from my reach.  
"I didn't know a pair of queens beat a full house," she chuckles, holding up my cards.  
I smile uneasily and Amata casually slips the cards back into the deck and into the small leather pouch, "I think I've taken enough of your money."  
"You started out with my money!" I say objectively, shuffling back so I lean against the wooden bannister, being careful that the wood doesn't snap off against my weight. I pull my rifle within easy reach and smile when Amata sits down beside me and pecks my lips.

Within minutes, Amata's head is rested snugly against my lap, looking up at the late afternoon skyline, with dots of starts starting to appear. I find myself looking up at it too, though not without occasionally looking around, that uneasy feeling still present whenever I stand watch, with or without Amata being with me. The need to protect her makes the need to be vigilant stronger, of course; but I still have a sick feeling I could be shot by a raider sniper at any second.

"Love you," she smiles, touching my cheek and smiling up at me.  
"Hmm," I snap out of my trance and look down at her for a quick second, "What's wrong?"  
"I love you," she giggles, stroking my cheek with her thumb, "you're cute when you drift off like that."  
I chuckle and peck her lips, "Love you too."  
"Will you keep your eyes off the surroundings for two seconds?" she chuckles.  
"My CO will have my ass if I let something slip by," I mumble as she pulls me down to her and kisses me.  
"Hey!" she scolds when I keep my eyes opens.  
"I'm doing my job!" I laugh incredulously as I wrap my arms around her, "you aren't even supposed to be up here."  
"I know. I'm sorry, I'll be quiet." She pouts, going back to resting in my lap.  
"Please don't fall asleep," I sigh, rubbing her scalp with my fingertips.  
"If you keep doing that I won't be able to stay awake," she murmurs, almost purring when I tickle under her chin.  
I look to my left and smile, "The sun's beautiful this time of day."  
"Yeah," she smiles and nuzzles into my left kneecap and pulls a blanket over her that she brought when she came to join me. It's been getting colder during the nights.  
"I told you not to fall asleep," I chuckle.  
She doesn't respond and I move my leg so she can rest easier. Eventually, her breathing slows down and her mouth eventually opens a bit.

I shake my head and look at my Pip-boy, one hour until my shift finishes, and she falls asleep.  
"I don't think that… I ever could have imagined us… doing this," I sigh, stroking her cheek lightly, "I mean… fuck. I never imagined spending New Year's shivering in a sleeping bag with you in my arms, in some desolate little camp in the middle of nowhere. We're a little family, you, me and Dogmeat. We'll make it, I know we will. There's a little place somewhere in the world, completely safe, for us. I would never have to fire a gun again, we would never have to wear a bandage or get a single stitch ever again."  
I lean against the old wooden bannister and put a hand on Amata's stomach, before I go back to watching my surroundings.

The alarm on my Pip-boy starts to beep and I quickly shut it off to avoid freaking Amata out. I look down and brush a strand of hair off her face and smile down at her.  
"Daniels," Washington grunts, suddenly appearing at the top of the ladder, "You done being all cute and sentimental?"  
"Fuck off Washington," I mutter.  
"Come on, get some dinner and get some rest, you've earned it."  
"Really?"

"No, of course you didn't. If sitting on my ass and playing poker was what you needed to do to get a promotion I'd be an Elder by now."  
"Hey," I gently touch Amata's cheek.  
She stirs to life and shivers from the increasing cold.  
"Wake up sleeping beauty," Washington chuckles.  
"Winter…" she groans.  
"I know," I help her up and she drowsily wraps her arms around me.  
"Aw well isn't this cute?" Washington laughs.  
"Goodnight Washington."  
"Goodnight Daniels."

"Down we go," I smile. Amata rubs her eyes and she limply drops down from the ladder. She covers her sleepy brown eyes and stumbles toward me, mumbling to herself.  
"Come on beautiful," I laugh, turning around and allowing her to hop onto my back.  
"You're comfy." She murmurs, wrapping her legs around my stomach, her arms lightly around my neck and resting her head against the back of our tent.  
"Thanks… I think…"

"Wake up," I sigh, walking toward our tent.  
I dump her into the tent and she immediately curls up into our sleeping bag.  
"Why are you so tired all of a sudden?" I smile, lying beside her and slipping an arm around her waist.  
"I've had to baby sit kids all day," she murmurs, cuddling up to me. Her skin's warm and soon we're lying in a nice, little cocoon of warmth from our body heat. Amata is long asleep, but I hear some rustling around in the tents. It's usually someone going out to get a drink or something.  
I see some light flashing outside my tent and I reach for my revolver.  
The tent flap zips up and a woman in her 30's sticks her head in the tent.  
"Whoa! You've got the wrong tent!" I gasp.  
"I need another blanket, my son's developing a cold."  
"We're cold," I protest quietly.  
"Please," she whispers, seeing Amata still asleep and reaching in, grabbing the end of the blanket firmly.  
"Don't even think about it," I say firmly, sitting up, "Leave, please."

…

I yawn and smile, rolling over and resting my hand against Amata's stomach.  
"Hey," she smiles, stroking my hair, "I was wondering when you were going to wake up."  
I groan and rub my eyes, "What time is it?"  
"Around 5 in the morning." she kisses my lips good morning and hugs me.  
"I don't want to get up," I grumble, sitting up and pulling on a shirt.  
"We really don't have to," she grins, pulling me down and straddling my waist.  
"Whoa!" I gasp, grinning, "What is up with you?"  
"I love you," she smiles, pulling off my shirt.  
"Don't," I giggle as she kisses my neck, "I only have to so much as _sneeze_ and the entire camp can hear me."  
"You talk big for someone who can't keep her hands off me," she purrs as I trace my fingers up and down her bronze sides. I withdraw my hands and she bends down and softly kisses me.  
"Daniels! Get your ass out here!" Washington yells. Amata jumps and I shrug up at her.  
"I'll see you at lunch OK? I've got baby-sitting duty. Though we should be moving at some point today, I think."

…

"What's going on?" I frown, sliding on a jacket.  
"A civvie is pissed off at you and's stirring up some shit."  
"Are you being serious right now?"  
"Yeah," he sighs, "CO said over the radio that you need to be on watch while we're packing up camp."  
"That's bullshit. It was fucking _freezing _last night and we only had _one _blanket!"  
"I know, kid." He sighs, "The trick is not to piss on the fire."  
I really hate Washington's shitty and confusing metaphors.  
"We would have almost frozen last night," I snarl, grabbing my rifle and slinging it over my shoulder, "Fucking spoon-fed pricks."  
"I know. Just, be calm. OK? Last thing I need is for my buddy to be suspended and I have to stay watch with a prick who can't take a drink and can't shoot for shit."  
"I'll be on watch," I sigh bitterly.

I groan and lean against the wall of the watch tower, tipping the front of my hat to cover my eyes from the blazing sun. I stick and wriggle my finger through one of the holes in my jeans, scratching at my leg while I do so. Ah well… at least now I can have some peace and quiet. Some time to myself actually might be good…

…

"Winter?"  
I jolt my eyes open and look around. Shit, did I really just fall asleep during watch?

"Hey," I smile, rubbing my eyes and watching Amata climb up to the ladder.  
She grabs the front of my shirt and kisses me deeply.  
"Mph…!" I gasp.  
"You didn't do a thing to deserve this." she growls through her teeth, almost literally ripping my shirt off.  
"What are you doing?" I gasp, calling Amata's bluff that the furthest she'll get is me without a shirt on, but I jolt in surprise when she attacks my belt.  
"I haven't had you in almost two weeks, because of these ungrateful pricks," she scowls and rips my belt off, "bitch walks up to me demanding some respect… I'm amazed I didn't beat the shit out of her."  
"Amata, come on honey don't take this out on me," I laugh, holding up my hands defensively as she pulls off her shirt.  
"Don't be a fucking smartass," she growls, "I'm sick of them yelling at me for giving their kids some food without their consent, I'm sick of them complaining about everything and basically telling us to go fuck ourselves. I want you. You are the only thing that's keeping me from going insane right now."  
My head bangs against the wood of the post and she straddles my waist.  
"You need to calm down a little," I chuckle.  
"Shut up, you smartass," she growls.

…

"Fucking hell…" I tilt my head back, groaning and looking at her, "What the hell… got into you?"  
"Was there a problem?" she smiles, kissing me lazily as she lies half on top of me.  
"No…" I frown, sitting up a combing a hand through my hair, "Just… unexpected."  
She chuckles and rests her head on my shoulder, "I love you."  
"What is your brain running on today?!" I laugh, "Two minutes ago, you're an insane maniac, the next you're all cuddly and lovey."  
"Well I'm calm now; I got this out of my system."  
I pull on my uniform and she lies beside me, still naked and not the least bit uncomfortable about it.  
I sit up and rub my eyes, my arms feeling numb and my leg still asleep.  
"No, please," I laugh as she lies once again on top of a blanket, "Make yourself comfortable."  
"Shut up and let me sleep." She smiles, closing her eyes, "The people humping in the tents around us and you talking in your sleep woke me up a few times."  
"You were _out _of it the last time I checked." I laugh.  
"Yes, but I stirred when I heard you say 'Extra sauce with my foot please."  
"You lie." I shake my head, before glancing to the right, "Ah… crap."

If I honestly had to decide what my favourite thing to at 6:30 in the morning was, shooting raiders wouldn't be one of them.  
"Stay out of sight," I whisper to Amata, poking out of the wooden barrier and looking through my scope.  
"Honey, what's going on?" Amata murmurs. Fuck… Amata doesn't know how to shoot for shit, and she's a sitting duck up here if people see her.  
"Stay down Amata, I don't want them to see you."

I suppose having a stationary camp isn't the wisest move for BoS civilians. Raiders tend to swarm the place if they feel stupid enough to stand off against a dozen highly trained personnel. I spent most of my afternoons outside the Springvale base with a few other recruits around my age. I've lost count of how many airborne tin cans that I've shot in the past six months with a rifle and revolver, but now it's more than worth it.

I fire a warning shot, my bullet skimming along the dirt in front of one of the raiders. Sometimes, some of them stumble along the camp, and some are smart enough to turn around and calmly walk away. Most of them, however, see supplies, food, water, and women. This band of 20+ raiders, however, most carrying revolvers, take one look at our little camp, and lick their lips. My warning shot alerts the entire camp, and the BoS get to work. They take up positions, the soldiers setting up and the civilians being escorted away into the relative safety of the med bay tent.  
"Amata, listen to me!" I yell as I fire at one male raider who's carrying an assault rifle, "Get dressed!"  
"Don't get shot, for fuck's sake!" she yells as the fire fight begins.

Raiders are stupid groups, it's simple. They take comfort in their numbers, and act cocky while under some kind of drugs I haven't tried yet. They grin as they see they have an advantage, and start to fire their guns at the BoS. Their "weapons", are pieces of metal that jam easily. They have quarter filled clips dangling off their hips in clumsy bandoliers. However, the BoS aren't the only ones who are stupid. A recruit, around 18 or 19, shouts about taking a flanking position.

He charges around them and into the open, firing from the hip and spraying bullets anywhere but on the raiders. It seemed almost too easy for somebody to hit him, he was just sitting there. A bullet carves into the young man's arm and into his stomach. He wails in agony and hits the dirt, rolling around in the dirt.  
"Hold on!" another soldier shouts, firing at the raiders as the rest try to take cover behind a few destroyed cars.

"Oh I'm really going to regret this…" I sigh, turning to Amata and handing her my rifle, "Take this, if someone climbs up the tower, shoot them."  
"What are you doing?" She gasps.  
"I'm going to get the kid," I sigh, getting ready to jump off the tower.  
"Are you crazy?!"  
"Yep," I sigh, before leaping off the tower.

I hit the ground, hard. My left leg naturally bends on impact, but my right, of course, doesn't budge. My sense of balance immediately shifts and a shot of pain rips up my right side as the metal rams against my hipbone. I instantly collapse onto the ground and hit the side of my head pretty bad.  
"Ugh… god… dammit that hurts." I grunt, picking myself up and spotting the kid around 15 metres away.

I rip out my revolver and start running towards him. Nobody seems to notice me, the raiders especially considering they're too busy screaming at one smallish raider, around 14, who started to run off before being shot in the head by what I assume is their leader. Good old fashioned American "damned if you do, damned if you don't" leadership mentality.  
"Hold on kid," I gasp, reaching him and grabbing his jacket.  
"Kid!" someone shouts, "Move your ass behind some cover!"  
"Can you walk?" I shout at him over the fire.  
He nods and looks up at me, blood running down his mouth and coughing some blood up and onto my arms.

"Come on kid!" I shout, picking him up by the sleeve of his jacket and running him behind cover. Goddamn, he's heavy as hell.  
"Ugh... oh god I'm gonna die!" he garbles.  
"Shut the hell up!" I shout, ducking behind him under a hail of gunfire.  
"Oh god oh god oh god!" he bawls, covering his eyes as I look out of cover. It's a good 30 metres to the camp, and a further 10 metres to the closest medic.  
"Come on, a little, 30 second run OK?" I glare at him and he quietly nods, tears running down his face.

I help him up and together we start running, his arm around my neck for support.  
"Come on you mother fucker…" I growl as he starts to drag behind, "Come on…"  
"Corpsman!" I shout as we stumble past a tent, "Corpsman!"  
A medic sprints toward us and rips him away from me.  
"Shot in the stomach and arm," I pant as he's carried into the infirmary and lay onto a cot.  
"The bullet passed through the arm, not so lucky on the stomach wound however," the medic sighs as he puts on some gloves, "I can take it from here."

I run back out of the infirmary and smack into a civilian woman. She has 40 kilos on me, and I bounce off of her like a rubber ball. For the second time in a short time I hit the dirt, skidding along the ground and my lungs breathing dust. I hear a loud bang and a few civvies trample over me, some stepping on my stomach and back.  
"Get off of me!" I growl, staggering up and running toward the sound of the bang.

"Oh shit!" I gasp, "_Amata_!"

The watchtower is now a piece of rubble with old, mouldy wood poking out of it.  
"Oh no… oh no, no, no, no, no, no!" I scream, charging toward the small pile of wood, "No!"  
I rip the planks of wood off away, clearing them away into another pile with splinters ripping into my hands and arms.  
"Daniels!" someone shouts, ripping me away, "The tower was clear."  
I look up and see Washington above me, glaring at me.  
"Well where is she?!" I feel queasy as a ball of fear hits my stomach.  
"Calm down! Amata's smart enough to run! Those fucking raiders sure as hell did the second they ran out of ammo."  
I look up at Washington and grab his jacket, "Where is she?" I growl.  
"I don't know," he stares back, pushing me off him, "but don't put your hands on me again. I'll help you look, but I saw her running for the camp with my own two eyes."

…

"Amata!" I shout, sprinting through the camp, shoving past a few distraught civvies. I jump over tent pegs and search through our tent, "Amata!" I rip the blankets around the place and look into the sleeping bag desperately.  
"Kid, for Christ's sake _calm down_!" he shouts.  
"I can't be fucking calm!" I scream, "Help me fucking find her!"  
"Calm the _fuck _down! As far as we know nothing bad has happened to her."  
I grab her handgun that's resting beside the sleeping bag and run outside.

When we decided to set up camp here for a few days, we saw a small parking garage around 200 metres from the current campsite. We ultimately decided against setting up there because of the diseases, the darkness, the lack of a good watch point, and the gate going inside it was a little spotty, occasionally freezing up and making it difficult to get out in case of emergency.  
"Daniels! Slow down for Christ's sake!" Washington sighs irritably as I charge down the ramp to the gate and see that it's already open.


	22. Cold Dark World

**Yep, so... This was part 2 in the super long deleted chapter. Another Weezer song chapter title and... yeah. **

* * *

I run into the garage and turn around, shutting the door behind me to keep anything nasty from getting in, or Amata from hearing the screaming civilians from the camp.

"Amata, baby can you hear me?!" I shout, sprinting down into the car park. I can't see a thing, it's completely dark in here, and I can barely see my hands and feet when I walk down the ramp. I hear a gunshot and my legs lift off the ground as I crash into the dirt. Again. I cough and numbly feel around my body, searching around for the bullet wound. A few times a few soldiers around Springvale didn't know where they got hit during a mishap during target practise, they didn't even know they had been hit. My fingers stumble clumsily down past my waist and I accidentally roll over a few times in desperate search of the bullet.

My fingers brush along a sudden groove along my right thigh and I gasp. I finger the bullet hole in my thigh and sigh in relief. I hear footsteps around me and a few hoarse voices barking things to each other. I gasp and spring to my feet, grabbing my revolver and holding Amata's handgun in my other hand. I take a step forward and accidentally make a loud clanking noise.  
"Huh?" one gasps, firing at me. I see the bright flash of light and I hear a sharp ping of the bullet smashing into the ancient concrete.

I instantly hit the dirt and gasp.  
"Winter," a gruff, angry voice snarls, "I'm gonna give you one last chance to leave and we promise, we won't kill you, _or _your little bitch."  
How do they know my name?

I crouch down low and slowly lie down on my stomach. I close my eyes and listen; I can hear their breathing, so I can only assume they hear mine. I breathe very short, shallow breaths through my mouth and slowly crawl forward, but my right foot drags along, obviously. It makes a small squeaking noise that, thankfully, they pass it off as a rat. I frantically unstrap my leg and push it off me.  
"Do you think she's gone?" one raider squeaks. The voice can't belong to someone older than 19.  
"No… she's still here. Fuckin' BoS is too stubborn to cut a hostage situation loose. You can hear me, can't you Winter? This is your last chance; I'm letting you know now."  
I keep crawling along the darkness, my fingers brushing against a few rocks.  
"I'm fiving you five seconds to get out of here before we open fire."  
His voice echoes throughout the parking garage, making it impossible for me to get a position on him. If I shine my flashlight, it projects my position before I can even find theirs.

"What makes you think you're getting out of this alive?" I shout, knowing it's impossible for my voice to be found, "If you kill me and Amata, the second you leave, you'll be shot the second you leave this parking garage. They'll give a call and response, and then they'll kill you. If you let me get Amata and leave, then you can walk out of this, nice and easy."  
"Don't bullshit me."  
"I'm in Military Police," I say, always crawling around to prevent them from zeroing in on me, "I can make a deal, you just let us walk around here, nice and easy, and we'll let you go."

"I don't believe that shit for _one second_," he laughs, "Do you think this is my first raid, kid?"  
"So, I'm gonna die then?" I sigh.  
"Most likely…"  
I crawl along, clutching the rock in my hands.  
"Fine, play that way." I growl and hurl the rock hard to the right. The rock makes a loud clang and I see five bursts of flame in the darkness. I grab my guns and fire rapidly, managing to shoot at least three… I think.  
"Goddammit, can't always have it easy can you?! Open fire! Shoot the bitch!"

I frantically clamber along a few more metres, shooting and hitting another few more raiders while they shoot randomly in my general direction. Bullets slam around me and I swear I can hear one whistling past me.  
"Fuck!" I yelp as I feel something hit my left hand. The handgun spins out of my hand and I look down and see blood starting to trickle down my arm.  
"Ha! Got her!" the younger one shouts.  
"Shut the fuck up! Go find the Spanish one and finish her off."  
I hide behind a pillar and hold my revolver, leaning my back against the concrete.  
"…Is she dead?" someone gasps.  
"Listen… do you hear breathing?"  
"… No I don't think so."  
"Then she's fucking dead."  
I hold back screams of agony and grit my teeth in pain.  
"I can't find her!" someone shouts.  
"The Spanish bitch? Just use your flashlight, idiot."  
A ball of fear hits me and I immediately pounce up into the air. I see the light and I fire blindly, only assuming the screams of pain are ones that will ultimately mean death.  
"Fuck! Flashlight's on!"  
I duck down, landing harshly on my hand and drawing my gun.  
"Kill the bitch!"  
"No!" I shout as the lights shine away from me. I dive ahead and fire at the light.

"Amata!" I shout, "Amata!"  
I grab my flashlight and wave it around the garage. I spot a foot, hidden behind a car.  
"Amata, it's me baby…" my voice catches a bit when I see her foot isn't moving.

"No!" I gasp, diving toward her.  
She… she's covered in blood, cuts along her chest and arms. Her bare body is almost covered in deep crimson.  
"N…N…" I strain to form words as I kneel down beside her.  
Her wrists and ankles are bound, with tape covering her mouth.  
I choke out a sob as my fingers clumsily grasp around her body.  
The second my fingers touch her, her eyes jolt open and look straight at me.  
"Shhh…" a flood of relief hits me and I hug her, "It's me baby, it's me."  
She breaks down into a sob and I hold her tightly in my arms.  
"It's OK, love," I cry softly, holding onto her tightly, "It's going to be alright. I'm here…"  
I reach up and gently touch her bloody face, "You're going to be OK."  
I quickly peel the tape away.  
"Winter…" she cries softly, "I don't… I won't…"  
"No… you're going to be fine."  
"I love you," she croaks. Oh god, that beautiful voice is gone, it's gone. Now it's just this… hoarse, dry croak.  
"You can tell me that when you're all better." I shake my head, holding tightly onto her.  
"I… won't… I don't think…."  
I hear the gate screech open and I pull her close to me, hand gripping my revolver.  
"L… love…" I feel her little hands grip my arms tightly.  
"BoS!" a voice booms, sprinting into the parking garage, light flooding the room in a brilliant burst. I see soldiers pour around us and I wonkily stand up.  
"BoS!" I shout, dropping my gun and raising my hands. They see my uniform and immediately lower their guns. Two corpsman immediately turn their attention to Amata.

I slowly back away from Amata, looking over her naked body as the medics clamber over her.  
"She isn't breathing!" a medic shouts, laying Amata on a stretcher, "Someone! For fuck's sake! Give her some damn CPR and get her hooked up to a respirator!"  
I feel dizzy and I turn around when I hear shouting.  
"Get on the ground!" a BoS shouts at the leader. He's still alive… but still hurt pretty bad.  
He lies down and puts his hands behind his head.

I numbly look down at my Pip-boy and my reflection shines off the glass. My frozen blue eyes look at me and I'm covered in both Amata and I's blood.  
"She isn't responding," a medic sighs as he pumps away at her chest.  
"No…" I whisper, looking at Amata and numbly holding my hand out to her, even though she seems so far away.  
"Take her to the infirmary," a medic pants, "Give her a few shocks… it's procedure."  
The medic giving her CPR looks at her, then at me, "It… won't do a lot of good."  
The medic who's in charge of the infirmary looks at me and shakes his head. He walks up and puts a hand on my shoulder, "I'm sorry Corporal."  
"I love you," I murmur to Amata as she's lifted up on the stretcher and carried out. I look at the medic, "Just… please. Give her the shocks…"  
He shakes his head, "I'm sorry Corporal."  
"Please," I almost wail, "I'll pay for it, I've got money!"  
"I'm sorry, Corporal," he repeats calmly, "she's gone."  
"Please," I whisper as he leaves, "Please…"

They carry Amata out on a stretcher and I turn to the leader. She's gone. Amata's gone. Our plans together; gone. Her voice; gone. Her touch; gone. Her smell; gone. Her smile; gone. Her laugh; gone. My entire reason to live… gone. I don't have her anymore. She died because I ran off to be the hero. I wasn't there to protect her. This is all entirely my fault. A BoS soldier holds out my leg and I rip it away from him and strap it on viciously.

"Come here you son of a bitch," I growl, grabbing him by his collar and driving my knee against his mouth. He gasps in pain and I wham my foot hard into his stomach.  
"I'm going to kill you, you son of a bitch!" I shout, ripping out my knife.  
"Hey!" a BoS shouts, pulling me away.

"This son of a bitch ain't worth nothing!" I half sob, half shout, "Let me kill him, you were going to kill him anyway!"  
"Kid…" Washington sighs, suddenly appearing and putting a hand on my shoulder, "You know that this won't solve anything. It won't make you feel better."  
I turn and glare at Washington, "Fuck. You. He's _mine!_ He took her away from me!"  
"Winter… I'm sorry…"  
"Sorry? You're fucking _sorry?!_ Where the fuck were you? You're my partner for fuck's sake!"  
"I was securing the area and calling for back up."  
"Fuck you! You were too much of a pussy to go in there!"  
"Think before you open that trap of yours. You're going through some shit right now and I can easily understand that, but trust me, all this will do is give you some serious doubts about who you are as a human being." Washington grunts, "You're going to regret doing this, Daniels."  
"I don't plan on it. If you want to stay; fine. If not… I'll see you around."  
"Daniels?"  
"Go," I flick my wrist at him, "'Secure the area'."  
"I'll leave you to it," a BoS soldier sighs, "Don't leave a mess, just say that he ran."  
"Thank you."  
"I lost my kid brother like this. My Dad did the same thing. He felt shit about it."  
"You aren't changing my mind."  
"I know," he sighs, walking away, "I know."

* * *

"What's the matter mother fucker?" I snarl, slowly running my knife up and down his throat, light enough to only graze the skin, "You look a little scared."  
"Fuck you," he spits.  
I chuckle and wipe the trail of spit off of my cheek, "You are the person who took everything away from me. You have destroyed everything that ever mattered to me. I'm going to fuck you up so bad, then kill you dead… and I don't even know your name."  
"I know yours…" he smirks, "she was screaming for you. You weren't there for her. She died, knowing that. And I know for sure, because I told her that myself. Don't worry though; none of my boys touched her. That sexy little body was all mine to enjoy."

I plunge my knife into his stomach, stabbing and twisting the blade into him again and again. He blood splashes over me like a tap. It sprays up my arms and onto my lap and chest, and I think my face and neck. He screams out in agony as I scrunch my eyes tight.  
"I'm sorry Amata…" I whisper, clutching the knife in my left hand to ensure maximum pain for myself, "I fucked up. I fucked it all up."  
"Fucking bitch!" he gargles as I stab into both of his thighs. I smear his blood into his eyes and smirk as I grab his hand.  
"Are you left handed or right?" I grunt, crushing his bones and snapping his fingers.  
"What?"  
I look at his holster. Assuming he doesn't cross draw like I do it's on his left, meaning he's left handed. I slice off his left fingers, one by one. I toss them away and laugh at the blood spurting from his hand.

"You deserve everything you get," I snarl, slicing off his entire hand, "and more."  
I'm amazed I can cut through the bones and muscles. I'm not the strongest I've ever been right now. He screams out in pain and I take a step back, hurling the remains of his hand at his face, smacking and breaking his nose and whacking harshly against his mouth.  
"Can't jerk off with that thing anymore can you? I'm amazed you aren't getting off on this." I snarl, "Mother fucking son of a bitch. You a religious man mother fucker?"  
"Fuck you." He gasps, waving his bloody stump, almost like… Amata used to do when she accidentally burned her finger.  
"Argh!" I shout, driving my knife down into his stomach again. I don't have much time left. He's dying, and I know it.  
"What does it say in that bible?" I grunt, grabbing his jaw with my left hand, "An eye for an eye?"  
"No... No please don't. Please don't!"

I plunge the blade deep into his left eye. Too deep.  
"Shit!" I swear as the entire blade slides into his head, slicing into his brain and almost instantly killing him.  
"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" I swear, "I wasn't finished with you fuck stain."  
I slide out my revolver and sigh, "I wanted a little bit more time."

I dig around in Mother Fucker's bag and find a small bottle of whisky. I lean against the pillar and sigh, looking down at my Pip-boy as I drink. It's been almost 2 years, 2 years since I left that stupid Vault. Time flies when you're getting fucked up. I grab the rest of Mother Fucker's bag and sigh, spotting a few drugs and weapons.

I lie a few items in front of me on the floor, sit cross legged and look down at them. Pills (a lot of them), vodka, whisky, a handgun, a hand grenade, a mine, a sawed off shotgun, Jet and my hunting knife. I finish off the whisky and clumsily slap the items one by one. There isn't a point in anything anymore.  
"Eeny meeny miney mo, catch a redneck by his toe. If he hollars let him go. Eeny meeny miney mo. My… mum… told… me… to… pick… the… best… one… and… you… are… it."  
My hand clasps the handgun. Typical, I have to go out like a drunk rock star.  
I slide out my revolver and open the barrel, checking and finding I only have three bullets in the chamber. I only need one. I smirk and take a hit of Jet first. Ah, I missed that feeling. My problems wash away and the horrible weight in my chest fades away. The blood and gore around me melts away and I lean back, trying so hard to imagine I'm leaning against Amata and not a cold stone pillar.

I slowly raise the gun, bringing it further and further upward until it reaches my chin. I shake my head and move it to my temple. I heard stories that apparently the chin doesn't really cut it, that it can miss vitals or something. I don't want to take any chances.  
"I'm sorry, Amata," I whisper, closing my eyes. My fingers tremble and I swear I can feel her arms wrapping around me.

"Kid," Washington gasps, hoisting me up and carrying me like a small child, "Holy crap you lost a ton of blood."  
"Let me go!," I shout thrashing in his arms, "Let me be with her!"  
"She's alive, Winter!" Washington grunts, "she's alive."  
"Lying sack of shit!" I wail, reaching for the revolver he kicked away from me, even though it's a good 15 metres away.

* * *

"I need a medic when you have a spare!" he orders, running me into the infirmary. He slams me down into a hospital bed and I thrash around, searching for Amata's corpse and refusing to be pinned down.  
Someone rushes over to me and grabs my left hand that Washington left untied.  
"Careful. This one's a fighter," Washington warns.  
"This is manageable." He sighs, "You can do this yourself Washington. You know how to stitch a wound?"  
"Not on a 110 pound seriously pissed off soldier I don't!" he shouts, "I need someone to hold her down."  
"Here," he sighs, handing him a syringe.  
"Don't let her die," I plead to the medic as Washington injects me with what I assume is morphine, "If she's alive and she needs something, take it from me."  
"What's her blood type?"  
Oh shit! What's her blood type? I know that it's the same as mine… but what the fuck is mine?!  
"Um… Dad knows…"  
Dad is 10 miles away, he isn't much use right now.  
"Just use mine," I murmur, holding out my bloody hand.  
"Can't do that, you've lost too much blood. You could go into a cardiac arrest and you could die."  
"What do you think I'm going to do if Amata's dead?" I snarl, trying to stay awake as the morphine starts to drag me under, "You're wasting time, take my fucking blood!"  
I lean my head against the bed and close my eyes.

* * *

"Relax, James. She'll be fine."  
"I knew that this would happen, I knew it would! For the love of God, Madison. Look at how small she is! She's barely taller than a Brahmin! What were they thinking when she passed that goddamn recruitment office?!"  
"Last time I checked, Winter came from Catherine and you. She has Catherine's resilience and your stubbornness. She'll be fine."  
"I know… I know… She reminds me of Matthew more than anything else."  
"Does she know?"  
"No. I never told her, and I'd like to keep it that way."  
"You know I'd never willingly bring up Matthew, not now at least."  
"It haunts me, what happened to them, Madison. I promised Catherine that I'd keep Winter safe, she made me promise her. Now look at what happened."  
"And this would have happened long ago if you didn't put her in the Vault. James, everything you did was for the right reasons."  
"She hates me, Madison."  
"She's angry at what's happened… she'll probably be mad when she wakes up and asks to see Amata. She's an angry woman by nature. She's had to adapt to this world, she's had to change everything that she is in such a short space in time. She never was eased into it, she was thrown into it. And that isn't your fault James. It's wrong that she blames you, but I know that she still loves you."

I scrunch my eyes tight and my hand clenches.  
"Winter!" Dad gasps.  
"Mph…" I wince when I move my arm.  
"Don't move," he whispers gently, "just rest."  
"'Mata," I murmur, opening my eyes and searching for her.  
"She's fine," he assures, "We need you to rest. Your blood supply is dangerously low, you just need to relax now."  
"I need to see Amata," I grunt, trying to sit up but realising that my arms are far too weak to support myself.  
"Winter look at me," Dad says firmly, "You are in the Jefferson Memorial, Amata is in the other room. I _promise_ you, she is alive and in recovery. If you go to see her now, you will literally pass out from strain."  
"You couldn't… wheel her in?" I frown.  
"She's… fragile. You're under heavy sedatives and in a room that could contaminate her delicate immune system.  
"I swear to god if she's dead-"  
"She isn't dead," he shakes his head firmly; "She got out of surgery then received a blood transfusion. She'll be OK physically."  
"When can I see her?"  
"A few days, maybe. We really want to be safe than sorry." he shrugs, "Winter I'm amazed you're even awake right now."  
I scrunch my eyes tight again and rest my head back down onto the bed, "I couldn't save her, Dad… I tried to keep her safe… I left her side for two seconds…"  
He nods and sits down in the chair beside me.

"There are some things in this world that we cannot control. I know that this isn't what you want to hear right now, but yes, you will never forgive yourself for this; you will never come to grips that things would have been different if you had been there. But, you have something to be so thankful for. Amata is alive, alive and breathing; for you to love and to cherish for one more day. You have been blessed by this, Winter. Be grateful that she is alive every, single, time, you touch her."  
I tremble slightly as he stares at me, "Um… Dad?"  
He sighs and touches my shoulder, "Get some rest, sweetheart. When you wake up I'll see about getting you moving around."  
"Dad," I call him back, holding out and grasping his wrist, "I'm sorry."  
He smiles and holds my hand, "Get some sleep, honey."

* * *

When I eventually wake up I feel a little bit better. I feel stronger and my arms can support me. Nobody's around my bed and I slowly get up. I'm only on one leg and I have to lean against the wall. I hop to a supply closet and find a pair of metal crutches, smooth and well-polished, and in good quality. I've become an expert in changing crutch lengths over the past year and a half, so it takes me less than a minute to find my proper length.

I look down and sigh irritably. I'm dressed only in a tanktop and underwear. I find one of my bags I was lugging around the camp and rummage through my clothes. I find a stitched pair of jeans with the right leg missing and hop into them before slipping on a BoS shirt.

I tap down the hallway, with scientists and doctors seeing me and one rushing off.  
"Winter," Dad gasps, "Go back to bed!"  
"I'm fine Dad," I sigh, "I need to see her. I won't stop until I can at least see she's breathing. I don't think that it's too much to ask."  
He sighs and shakes his head, "No… no, it isn't. Come on, I'll have someone bring your stuff in and bring in a bed for you."

* * *

I walk into the room and see her sitting upright; looking at her arm as Li draws a blood sample.  
"Amata?"  
She looks up at me and tears immediately well up in her eyes. She looks… alive. Her chest is covered in bandages and she's covered by one of my jackets and shorts. Her head is bandaged and so are her thighs. She looks miserable, and she has a bad cut across her lip.  
"I'll be back in an hour," Li says, leaving with some medical equipment.  
"Oh god…" she cries as I run up to her. She reaches out for me and I hug her tightly.  
"I'm so sorry," I whisper. She clings onto me and I scrunch my eyes tight, trying so hard not to cry.  
"I love you so much," she cries, burying her face against my shoulder.

She won't go of me, no matter what. I sit beside her on the bed and she clings onto me, crying and shaking. Tears burn against my eyes and I feel her shaking against me.  
"C… c… can you stay here tonight? Please?" she sobs weakly, "I r-r-really don't want you to be away from me."  
"I won't go anywhere. I promise," I nod, hugging her tightly, "I am so, _so _sorry Amata."  
She bursts out sobbing again and squeezes onto me.  
I close my eyes and listen to her hysterical sobbing.

After what seems like hours I notice she finally stopped crying. I assume she's fallen asleep and is getting some much needed sleep.

"Amata," I whisper, gently rubbing her arm, "Baby it's OK."  
She shakes beside me and I look down at her. Her eyes are wide open, she isn't crying, she's just shaking.  
"Hey," I whisper, grasping her cheek, "Amata look at me."  
She doesn't move, she just keeps shaking like she's sobbing.  
"Amata! Amata look at me!" I say loudly.  
Li bursts in and rips me away from her.  
"Hey!" I shout as I topple off the bed.  
"Back off, Winter." She sighs irritably, putting her hand against Amata's pulse point.  
"Is she breathing?" I stutter, jumping up and rushing beside her.  
"She's gone into shock." Li says quickly, grabbing a syringe and sticking it in Amata's arm.  
"Hey," I whisper as I gently grasp her hand, "I've got you."  
She looks at me, absolutely numb and terrified.  
"I'm not leaving you, OK?" I say firmly, "You're safe here."  
She nods limply and closes her eyes. The shaking stops and her breathing becomes slow and steady.

I collapse into the chair beside her bed and bury my face in my hands.  
"Relax, Winter." Li sighs, "She'll be OK."  
I look at Amata and brush a strand of her hair off her face.

"I was going to kill myself," I sigh, looking down at the revolver at my hip, "The second I decided that she was dead. I got the gun all the way up to my temple. The only thing that stopped me was knowing what would happen to Dad…"  
I look up at Li and wipe my eyes, "If I… If I didn't make it past that garage alive… and when she woke up and saw I wasn't there…"  
"Why were you going to kill yourself Winter?" Li whispers, sitting down across from me.

I bow my head down and sniff back tears, "She is the only thing that I have to live for. The only reason I am alive right now is because she is with me, and she needs me. And I need her, so… badly. If she stayed in that Vault, I would have walked out of there with a crippled leg and a death wish. I probably would have killed myself the second I saw the wastes before me. What was the point? I had _nothing_ except her. And that was enough for me. I just… I didn't see any point in struggling anymore."

* * *

_14 days later_

"Where were you? You left me alone," she whimpers, rubbing one of the bandages on her stomach.  
"I know I did," I sigh, sitting down beside her, "I promise I didn't leave the ward. I was just getting some food, baby. I was barely gone 15 minutes."

Amata's recovery hasn't been a fast one. Her wounds are healing just fine, but it's the emotional state of things that have been agonizing. The past two weeks have been the same, the exact same. Wake up, stay with Amata, hold her as doctors examine her, and listen to her crying. I'm in hell; absolute hell. I want nothing more than for her to be OK, and this is my punishment. She is far from OK. I have to live with this as my punishment from… I don't know. Karma? A divine power? My own conscience screaming insults at me as I look down at my love's tortured shell of a body? During the day time I choose the latter for the reason I cannot bare to live anymore. At night, when I lay beside her, my brain twists the reasons into something else.

There's one major problem with Amata's recovery; and that is the fact that she is unresponsive to any medical profession and "therapist" (for lack of better word), that talks to her. In fact, the only words she has ever spoken have been to me. She freezes in shock as someone walks into the room that isn't me. Whether it be a male, female, even Dad, she stays silent. Even if I'm in the room with her and I urge her to speak, she won't say a word. She'll just flinch and try to hide beside me.

When we're alone, she's different. She'll talk to me, only talking about things that happened to us before we left the Vault. She doesn't smile when she's supposed to, and I don't really blame her for it. At night she curls beside me and constantly puts her head on my shoulder. One night, while drugged heavily on morphine, she murmured something along the lines of "You keep me safe from the monsters."

That makes me nervous. When we normally talk she is mostly the same. She uses a decent vocabulary and talks almost like she usually does. Her voice is still hoarse from her damaged throat and she always speaks softly; other than that, she seems… OK? I'm worried that there are things that she isn't telling me, things that she may be seeing and hearing that aren't really there. It may just be night terror that she refers to when she says "the monsters", but I can never be sure. Those beautiful brown eyes tend to stare off into space…

"Winter…" she sighs, "Li came to see me this morning while you were still asleep."  
"Yeah?" I frown, concentrating on stabbing the hole of the carton of milk with my straw.  
"She thinks that something happened… to me…"  
"What? PTSD?" I look up after I take a sip of the milk and bite into the noodles, using only my fingers.  
"I might be… pregnant, Winter."  
I cough up the noodles and manage to spit them out before I start choking.  
"Pregnant?" I cough, wiping my mouth from my sleeve. Oh fuck no. She doesn't need this. Why the _fuck _did Li tell her this?! She's already fragile enough as she is, she doesn't need to freak out about this now!  
"I know…" she sighs, snapping me out of the rant going on inside my head, "What am I going to do, Winter?"  
"Hey," I sigh, "We… we don't know anything for sure yet."  
"Winter I've worked around pregnant people when I work at Church's clinic, what they say they feel… I'm feeling it right now."  
I run my fingers through my hair anxiously and look at Amata's stomach. Fuck… she may be pregnant. She could be pregnant and be having a baby.

"Look," I sigh, gently gripping her hands, "we don't know anything for sure yet, OK?"  
"It really doesn't help that you killed the father," she sniffs, wiping her eyes and laughing anxiously.  
"You make it sound like a bad thing that I did," I mutter bitterly. I resent Dad for telling her that. I resent Washington for telling Dad that as well, what with Dad organising therapy sessions for me that I frequently skip.  
"I can't be a Mom on my own, Winter." She shakes her head and holds her still flat stomach.  
"For all we know you aren't." I sooth.  
"Dammit Winter! For fuck's sake are you _actually_ going to shake your head and tell me 'don't worry it's probably nothing?' Since when has it been 'nothing'? It's always something! We can _never _be happy."  
"You don't know that," I argue back, "We _will_ be OK."

* * *

"Will you stay with me?" she whispers as she lies in my arms. I close my eyes and sigh. A kid… goddamn I hate kids. How could I ever look at Amata's child and not see those evil pricks? How could I ever love this baby? How could it ever love me when it finds out I killed its father in cold blood? But how can I ever live with myself if I abandon Amata? She could never make it without me when she has a little kid to look after. I love her more than anything else in the world.

"I love you," I stroke her cheek and rest my forehead against hers, looking down into her deep brown eyes, "And… _if _it turns out, that you're pregnant… we're going to be having a baby."

There is no grinning, no laughing or being the least bit happy. Amata kisses me and we exchange "I love yous" as she lies in my arms.  
"Stop it," she grumbles, whacking my hand when I rest it against her stomach.  
"I'm not doing anything," I murmur, "You know that I'm not going to run off on you right?"  
She nods and laces her fingers with mine, "Remember when Tom Holden got his girlfriend pregnant? He tried to run away into you and Susie's little love nest."  
"Everyone knew about that stupid thing," I sigh, "I don't know why we still used it. We could hear people laughing when they walked past and saw the door was locked."  
"She was crazy about you." She sighs, "Still is probably."  
"Probably not, it's been almost two years since I last saw her. She'd have moved on by now."  
"If I didn't see you in two years I'd still want to pounce on you the second I laid eyes on you again."

"That's only because we've been through shit together. I'd do the same for you. I get to say 'I love you' to you every morning, and when the day came when I thought that I lost you, I was willing to do anything to get you back."

Amata sighs and plays with the bandage on my left arm, "I had that when you lost your leg and had your fever. Your fever was a million times worse than your leg. You lost your leg and got inside the Vault. You had a surgeon and good medical equipment. When you had that fever… all we could give you was fever pills that were only meant for the little things. You would constantly drift in an out of consciousness. Whenever you woke up I told you that you loved me. You even told me that you were going to die."  
"I honestly don't remember that."  
"Nobody expects you to." She says softly, kissing me, "I really miss safety."

"I miss boredom." I sigh, "You watch, we'll find a little place. A small little house by a clean lake in the middle of nowhere… a nice little place to just… be at peace and bored for the rest of our lives ."  
"Peace?"  
"Yeah, a little house with heaps of grass and happy little animals, where we'll never have to kill anything or run from anything again."  
"Sounds perfect." She sighs, rolling over and nuzzling into me, "What about Dogmeat?"  
"We'll find a good girl for him to be happy with." I rub her back and kiss her hair.  
"What about the baby?"  
I sigh. I don't bother to bring up the lack of confirmation. I realize the woman in my arms didn't really believe me when I told her that I'd still be a round. So, I play along.  
"The baby will be safe too. Peanut's cool, playing around and never having to worry about danger."  
"Peanut?"  
"Yeah, unisex name for the imagin- uh…"  
"I know I'm being stupid," she sighs, "I just like pretending that things are normal."  
"I think we're pretty close to normal." I shrug, "by this world's standards at least. Amata, we don't know anything yet."  
"I know…"  
"I'll love you either way," I assure, kissing her neck and closing my eyes.  
"Promise?" she cracks a smile, the first one in what seems like years.  
"Promise."


	23. I Don't Want To Let You Go

**Yeah, so, funny story about me. I bought Simcity (2013). Funny right? HAHAHAHA! Fucking HA! HA! HA! So, as I sat at my computer, desperately trying to figure out how to connect to a game and wonder what evil demon could allow this to happen, I remembered something. I was an asshole for delaying my chapter, then splitting it in half because I couldn't finish it quickly enough. I was EA for around a month, and for that I greatly apologize to the awesome people who read this story. So, this is a quick set up to the main plot point of this next chapter. It's actually the start of the next chapter that I just finished rewriting and editing. The rest of it isn't finished yet. So, hope you enjoy. Also, I apologize for the spacing being different and sloppy again, as this was written on my iPhone because of my current rage against my computer. **

James sighs and steps away from the pressure meters and looks at his pocket watch. It's getting to be late afternoon, maybe it wouldn't hurt to go down to the barracks early. He lightly brushes against his fellow scientists who are cramped in the dark, dank tunnels around the Jefferson Memorial, eager to arrive home.

He turns a corner, deliberately avoiding Madison Li's usual work route. She would unfailingly have some kind of work for him to have finished. Instead, he bumps into a smaller figure and almost makes James spill the clipboard he'd been loosely carrying.

"Sorry," a young boy gasps as he backs away and looks up and James.

"Hey Matthew," James chuckles, "up to no good again?"

"No Dad," 12 year old Matthew grins, "I'm behaving myself."

"Oh course you are." James teases, lightly punching his son's shoulder, "How're our girls?"

"Mum got mad at me again. She gets mad a lot now, she's really tired."

"Ah it's just the baby. Give her time, since she got rid of the cold she needs lots of attention."

"Fine. Can I go out and play baseball with some of the soldiers?"

"Hmph..." James sighs and looks over his shoulder, "You'll have to ask Madison about what the Knights have said about outside activity. I'm not sure what the situation is out there. If it's all clear you can play."

"OK thanks Dad!" Matthew grins, running into his room and grabbing his glove.

"Matthew!" James calls out firmly.

"Yeah, Dad?"

"What do we do if we see a mutant?"

"Run inside," the boy drones out the information he's heard a hundred times before by his anxious parents.

"Do we watch the fight?" James asks.

"No."

"Have fun, son." he smirks, "I'm sorry I want to keep you safe."

James groans and leaves the boy to his own devices and walks into his family's room.

"James!" Catherine whispers fiercely when he loudly clanks his radio onto the metal table.

"Sorry, sorry!" he whispers back, smiling at his wife and the small bundle in her arms, "How is she?"

"Really, really good." she nods, "I only got her to sleep a while ago."

He kisses his wife and daughter's forehead.

"Hello sweetheart," he smiles, "Did you miss Daddy while he was gone?"

"She's been asleep for most of the day. She loves to doze off."

"She's 4 months old today. Our baby Winter."

James sits down and opens one of his work journals and looks up at his wife.

"I think I figured out the pressure we needed to get-"

"Shh... James not now." Catherine doesn't take her eyes off Winter, who's slightly squirming and yawning.

"She's fine honey," James chuckles.

"I'm the one who has to nurse her." she scolds.

"Come in hon, give me my baby girl." Catherine reluctantly hands the baby over and James cradles Winter in his arms. The baby is dressed only in a makeshift diaper and is wrapped in a blanket. She's small, born a few weeks premature, and is roughly the length of James' arm.

"When do you think we'll return to work?" James asks as he lightly pokes Winter's button nose.

Catherine squirms slightly in her seat, "James..."

"I know I'm sorry," he says calmly, "Winter's a handful, I know, but I think if we get one of the assistants to baby sit her, or even if it means moving her crib to your office while you're working."

"James. Please, just listen to me."

James looks at his wife. Her beaming blue eyes shoot sharply into his and he swallows uneasily.

"James... I don't think that it's safe here anymore." Catherine whispers.

"Catherine-"

"No, James." she says sharply, "This isn't a thing you can brush over. Again. We've had two mutant attacks this month, one time Matthew was outside. This isn't a safe place for us anymore."

James scoffs, "Where will we go then, Catherine?"

"Don't give me that tone, James." she snaps back.

"I am not giving up this Project, Catherine. This is-"

"Are you seriously putting this project above the welfare of our children?!" she whispers as Winter stirs and squirms again.

"There is no danger if they just stay near a BoS soldier!"

"James! Winter is barely 5 months old! She can barely sleep through the night from the gunfire and rowdy soldiers. Matthew is growing up gawking over those men with guns. I'm worried that he'll take after them. This isn't a safe place to raise our children, James. Winter deserves better-"

"Winter. Winter, Winter, Winter." James tuts, "She's fine love, the world doesn't revolve around Winter."

"Excuse me? When was the last time you changed a diaper or even fed her? You can argue all you want about her importance when you actually do something every once in a while."

James growls at Catherine and pushes Winter into her arms, "Then leave."

"James!"

"If you think I'm a bad father, then leave. Go off into the Citadel or something, take the precious runt with you."

"James!"

"She almost killed you, Catherine! You had a cardiac arrest when you gave birth to her! I'm amazed you're still alive."

Catherine quickly but gently Winter in her cot and rushes around their home, ripping open drawers.

"I suppose she plotted it then? I suppose she sat in my body for 9 months and clawed her way out? Winter was unexpected, but she is a gift, equally as important to me as Matthew is."

"That isn't what Matthew thinks. He thinks you're shutting him out!"

"Because I don't have any help James!" she shouts as she stuffs clothes and toys into a suitcase, "A four month old is harder to maintain than a 12 year old!"

"Where are you going?" he shouts as Catherine slams the suitcase shut.

"I'm going to pick up Matthew. Then we're going to stay in Rivet City for a few days."

"Catherine! You can't do this now!"

"Oh, and there's a time where I can?!" she snarls, "Grow up, James."

Catherine storms out, slamming the door shut.

James glares down at his daughter, who by this time had woken up and is now crying in her crib.

"Here," he growls, grabbing a teddy bear and dropping it on Winter's stomach. The teddy weighs next to nothing and it bounces off the baby. He slumps into the chair and sighs irritably.

Catherine comes back alone this time. She grabs Winter and her suitcase, "Matthew is coming with me, so is Winter. Come see me when you're willing to love your family, James."

"Catherine please," he begs, "Can we please just talk?"

"Not now James. I don't want to talk to you right now."

...

James sighs and sits down. He never really was much of a crying man. His eyes stay dry as he opens up a whiskey flask and takes a drink. He stays this way for at least 30 minutes. This wasn't the first time Catherine had brought up the idea of leaving, but it was a conversation that James would always refuse to have. This project was going to save hundreds of thousands of lives, he couldn't break away from it, not even for a moment. Catherine was passionate about her children, which was understandable. When she was young, before she had Matthew, she was passionate about the project, even working until she could barely stand from the strain of her heavily pregnant body. It was not something that James wanted back.

He loves his children. He loves Matthew and Winter, but he knows that Catherine is far too overprotective over Winter. She was like that with Matthew as well, but the mutant sightings were much less back then. They'll be fine, it was simple, they just had to stay back with him.

Suddenly gunfire rips out. It's faint, but comes in long bursts that eventually team with explosions and shouts.

"No..." James gasps, standing up and running toward the exit of the Memorial.

The doors fling open and the late afternoon sun hits him like a punch in the face. He barely gives his eyes time to adjust before he runs outside. The BoS are in the midst of a heavy firefight between a small gang of mutants, and are too occupied to notice Catherine, Matthew and Winter hiding behind a wooden fence. Catherine is screaming and holding onto her children, but Matthew is frantically pushing away from her. He eventually rips away from her and flings open the suitcase, rummaging through it and sending luggage sprawling over the dried cement. He finds what he's looking for; his father's .32.

"No!" James roars, running towards his family and completely ignoring the jail of gunfire erupting around him. Matthew bravely steps out of cover with his hands and arms straining under the massive weight of the gun in his grasp. James is sure he doesn't know how to load or properly fire the gun and that only makes him run faster; but he can't help him. James is trapped by the gunfire and is hiding behind a barrier, feeling more helpless then he ever has in his entire life.

His son fires off three bullets, hopelessly missing all of his targets and projecting his position to every mutant in attack. The mutants look over and see weak meat, and simply open fire.

Time slows down for James as they fire at his preteen son. Bullets skim past him, some missing him entirely. However, many bullets hit their mark. The hot lead rips into the young boy's body and Matthew convulses as he falls onto the ground. His brown eyes look at James, forever frozen in an emotion of pure terror. James doesn't say a word as Catherine screams in agony and sorrow. Winter is bawling from fear or maybe the fact her big brother is lying dead beside her.

"No! Catherine!" James begs as she stands up to start running, "Catherine don't!"

The gunfire, however, drowns his words.

In a final desperate attempt to save her child, Catherine grabs one of Winter's toys. A small clown themed teddy bear.

"Come here sweetheart," Catherine whispers, gently placing her daughter and the teddy into the suitcase and shutting it, muffling Winter's screams. She puts the teddy there in a vain attempt to calm Winter.

"Catherine!" James screams desperately.

Catherine slowly reaches and grasps the revolver from her son's dead hand. The BoS have fallen back slightly to re supply, leaving Catherine and Winter trapped.

"No! Catherine hide!" James screams desperately. His feet can't move. They feel like cement bricks. Catherine slowly stands up and fires at the mutants. She manages to kill three before she's hit in her chest.

"No!" James bawls. BoS run out again after barely 20 seconds, fully supplied and quickly mow down the mutants.

"James..." Catherine croaks when he finally reaches her.

"C-Catherine," he sobs, "You're OK."

"James... I won't... I don't think..."

"You'll be fine. We'll get you fixed up."

"You have to protect, Winter..." she croaks, reaching her bloody hand up and stroking James' cheek, "Promise me."

"I promise. We'll raise her together," he sniffs, putting pressure on Catherine's wound.

"I... I love... you," she softly exhales.

"Catherine?" he gasps as several medics swarm over her and perform CPR, even though it's ultimately in vain.

James turns and looks at the sobbing suitcase. He numbly walks over and opens it. His daughter, his beautiful daughter.

"I'm so sorry, Catherine." he whispers softly as he gently picks up Winter, "I'm so sorry, Matthew."

Winter eventually stops crying when she's brought into a quiet room. She opens her eyes and James frantically looks away from her. Catherine's bright, shining blue eyes stare up at James. He remembers when he was filled with joy when he discovered Winter had inherited Catherine's eyes. Now... it was a curse.

"I'm so sorry, Winter." James whispers as he sits down. He ignores the commotion outside, no doubt scientists mourning Catherine and Matthew. Two hours ago he was stressing out over pressure levels. It almost made him want to cry.

"You're my baby girl," he whispers softly, "I'll figure something out eventually, love. I promise, I won't let anything horrible happen to you, ever again. You don't belong here, Winter. Even if it kills me, I won't let you be in danger ever again."

He slowly places his daughter into a crib.

"Never... again." he cries softly.

...

Yes, I've deliberately made this vague. Don't chalk this up to shitty writing I promise I'll explain the characters in further. Matthew especially will be gone into greater detail next chapter.


	24. Don't Cry

I storm down the hallways of Project Purity. Scientists, doctors and workers dodge past me and I push them away.  
"Goddammit, Li!" I growl, shoving open the door to Dr Li's office.  
"Winter!?" Li gasps, standing up and walking towards me, "What's happened?"  
I grab her jacket and slam her against the wall, "_What the hell is wrong with you?!_" I roar, "Why did you tell Amata she might be pregnant?!"

"Let go of me!" she protests, pushing against me, but I don't budge.  
"No! I want to know! What made you think that this would be a good idea?!" I growl, shoving her toward me so I'm right in her face.  
"I am not stupid, Daniels," she snarls, "I needed to inform her because she needs a weaker dose of medication if she is, in fact, carrying a child. She isn't allowed to drink or have any form of drugs. And given the fact that doctors found Jet in your blood stream, I think both of you should know ahead of time, in case something happens to you. You have a drug problem, Winter. Don't bother trying to pretend that you don't."

I swing my fist and punch Li square in the jaw. Li makes this funny noise, like the sound is strangling its way up her throat. It sounds like a half- moan half-scream. And, this only makes me madder.  
"Listen to me," I snarl, "Don't talk to me like I'm a _fucking _child. I've spent the past two weeks dealing with a shell of the woman I love. You do _not, _for _one fucking second_ think that I don't have that woman's best interests at heart? Do you honestly think I'm _stupid_ enough to take a hallucinogenic drug when I _know_ that my partner is under extreme trauma?! Fuck you! I'm _sick _of being treated like a fucking child! I don't even have _time _to act like a child! I knew she was dead! The medics told me so! I didn't try opting out because of the Jet! I wanted to opt out because _she _was dead. There is _no _fucking way I'm going out when she still needs me. So shut your fucking mouth and don't fuck with my family!"  
I slam her against the wall and drop her. She slumps against the wall in shock and I walk away.

I walk back into my room and find Amata still asleep, looking relatively peaceful with her hair covering most of her face. I sit down beside her and cross my leg and put her head in my lap. I slowly touch her hair, brushing my fingers along strands and combing them with my fingers. I softly kiss her forehead and her eyes jolt open when I touch her.  
"Easy," I whisper, still gently patting her head, "It's just me."  
She nods and closes her eyes, stretching out like a cat and nuzzling back into my lap.

"How are you feeling?" I whisper.  
"… Normal," she sighs, "Just- treat me normally… please."  
"Normally?"  
"I don't want to cry today. I'm going to make it my mission not to cry." She shakes her head and looks up at me with determined eyes.  
"I love you," I chuckle, kissing her forehead again.  
"I love you," she whispers.  
I smile, "I think… today we should go out of this stupid room and go for a walk. Just the two of us."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah," I smile, "Why not? If you're feeling up to it..."  
"I can walk can't I?" she smiles. I force a smile back to match her counterfeit one. I can still see those sad, almost dead brown eyes.  
"Smartass," I sigh, kissing her lips softly. Even her kisses are dead.  
"I'll get ready. Then we can go."

…

"Daniels." Washington grunts, walking up to me the second Amata and I exit the main building of Project Purity and enter the small courtyard.  
I turn to Amata and smile, gently nudging her shoulder, "Give us a second?"  
She nods and kisses my cheek, "Play nice you two."  
I smile and watch her leave, even though the smile fades as I turn to Washington.  
"Not now Washington," I sigh, "We're about to head out for a while."  
"You and I both know that I can't let you walk out there with what happened this morning."  
"Am I under arrest?" I whisper as Amata pats a guard dog's fur nearby.  
He nods, "She isn't pressing charges, but we still need to take you to Springvale to write up a report."  
"Please Washington. Not today, she's making progress. Toss me into Springvale tomorrow; when she's had at least one good day."  
He shakes his head slowly, "I'm sorry, kid. I'm under orders from the CO."  
"Washington. Please," I whisper.

He looks around and leans close to me, "Don't make a big deal out of it. The worst you'll get is a report against you. Just keep your nose clean for a few months and they'll forget all about it."  
I sigh heavily and nod, "OK, just… make it quick."

Washington turns me around and handcuffs me, "You're under arrest for assault." He sighs.  
"Winter?" Amata frowns, "what did you do?"  
"Don't worry," I smile, "I'm not going to jail. It's just a formality."  
"She won't go to jail, Amata," Washington sighs, walking me toward a Brahmin pulled wagon that is essentially a wooden box. I almost laugh at how flimsy and shit it looks.  
"I want to go with her," she tells Washington as I walk up the ramp.  
"Honey you'll be fine. Just stay where you are and you'll be fine." I smile, sitting down and the latch closing behind me. When I'm hidden I bow my head and bury my face in my hands.  
"Oh god, why?" I shake my head. I groan and lie down on the bench, banging my head harshly against the wood underneath me.  
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I grit my teeth and bash my head a fourth time.

…

I look up and notice I must have fallen asleep at some point because the rays of sunlight have gone. I realize the noise that woke me up was the ramp being released and smashing against the dirt.

"We're here kid," Washington sighs, walking up and helping me to my feet.  
"Don't look so disappointed," I mutter, stepping out and dropping down onto the ground from the ramp.  
"What happened to the back of your head?" he frowns, "You're bleeding."  
"I'll say you didn't do it, don't worry." I sigh.

"Name?" a stiff BoS asks as I reach the counter.  
"Corporal Daniels," Washington says clearly.  
"Charged with…?"  
"Assault to a civilian."  
"Pleading?" he grumbles, looking up at me.  
"Huh?"  
"Are you pleading guilty or not guilty?"  
"Um… guilty?" I frown, looking at Washington.  
"Guilty as charged. Corporal Daniels is hereby sentenced to 24 hours jail, 16 hours on good behaviour." The BoS man bangs a pencil against his desk.  
"What the hell?! You said that I'd just be on report!" I yell as Washington helps guide me down a hall, "I can't be tossed in there! I'm in my uniform for Christ's sake!"  
"Settle down, kid! We're putting you in with BoS hacks. It's 7PM, the business hours here are concluded. You'll be safe I promise, you won't even make it within 50 metres of a raider prisoner or a junkie."  
"'Just a report' my arse!" I growl as he pushes me through a door. I'm opened into a small row of cells and I'm pleasantly surprised.

The cells are clean and the walls are bright white but are clean… sterile even. The cells are mostly empty and the room is deathly silent. Washington opens one cell door, cell 9 to be exact, and pushes me inside.

The cell is decently sized, with a clean bed and blankets, a clean toilet and a sink. He shuts the door behind me and I turn around. The door is a solid one painted white and has two hatches, one for a view of the prisoner's face, and one around my elbow height. Washington slides the slot open that is my elbow height.  
"Hold your wrists out here." He mutters and he taps his fingers against the tray. He uncuffs me and nods at me, "I'll see you in the morning."  
"Are you going back to Purity?" I call over to him.  
"Yeah. I'll make sure she's OK."  
"Thanks."  
"No problem. 0600's breakfast, just walk up to the entrance of the cell block and state your name if you overslept it. They'll take you somewhere if you haven't already slept off your 16 hour jail sentence."

I turn around and sit on the bed. It's incredibly soft. I guess the BoS must look after their own guys. The blankets barely have a stain on them. I shut the latches and turn on the sink. I wash the dried out blood from the back of my head and wince when I touch the scab that's developing there. After hectic examination with a mirror, my black hair does a good job of hiding the injury. Sure it's wet now, but by morning it will have spiked again. I shiver as the cold water trickles down my back and the cold starts to become more defined in the room with only a barred window for ventilation, provided I keep the latch closed. Are prisoners even _supposed _to be able to open these?

I crawl into the bed and hold up the clunky as shit pip-boy and flick through my old notes. Occasionally, back in my _wild _teenager days, I used to upload little notes onto my pip-boy either to study during work assignments or try to cheat during exams. I skim through my notes about science and programming. I remember how much I hated reading this. I curl myself up into a ball to try and collect body heat and burrow into the blankets.

…

I wake up to a BoS soldier banging against my cell door. I poke my head out of the bed and see someone has shot open the bottom slot in the door and slides in a tray.  
"What time is it?" I grumble.  
"0830. We let you sleep in. You're less of a problem when you're asleep." A woman smiles, "eat your breakfast and make yourself relatively presentable. Call for a guard when you're ready."  
My breakfast is coffee (fucking coffee!), eggs and something that resembles Brahmin meat. I never thought I would be able to drink coffee again. I guzzle it down and gasp as the hot drink immediately warms me. I grab the eggs without using the fork and cram them down my throat. The eggs are cooked very well and don't taste raw at all.

After I finish probably the best breakfast I've had in two years I bang against the door after I've thoroughly scrubbed my face. Someone puts handcuffs on me and they open the door. I'm guided out of the cell block and through the main office. The place is mostly empty, with the occasional bored scribe sitting down with a pile of papers on his or her lap and nursing a cup of coffee.  
"Right this way," the female guard leads me into a room that has "Interrogation Room 1" stencilled on it in big black letters.

The room is small and cramped, like my cell, except this time it's far more filthy and dirty. Washington is sitting down on the table, dressed in a red shirt and jeans, his auburn hair combed around his head. A file is in front of him and his has a pen in his hand. I sit down on the chair and Washington uncuffs me.

"OK kid, this is how it works. I'm filing a report about your conduct during your service here. As I said last night, take this seriously and keep your nose clean; and you'll be fine. It's early in the morning, I'm tired, just make this easy for yourself and me and don't be a fucking smartass."

Goddamn, do I look like a 5 year old to these people? It was _Madison's _fault for opening her mouth when she wasn't supposed to anyway. My mood quickly turns sour and I roll my eyes.

"Oh Lawdy officer I promise I won't do it again!" I holler in a southern accent, throwing my hands up in the air, "Oh Lawd repent my sins, I've been a bad, bad soul!"  
"Shut your mouth!" he growls.  
"You gonna rip me up, old man?" I snarl, "You gonna tell me some stories to make me feel bad? Make up some bullshit injuries?"  
"I'm trying to keep your disrespectful ass in the BoS! What do you think you look like to the standard Scribe right now? In less than a month you've had one suicide attempt, one mauled body, you're dodging seeing a therapist and you've assaulted a doctor. Does that sound like a good soldier to you?"

"So are we ignoring the year where I kicked ass?"  
"Fair enough, you've been a good solider until now; but this kind of mental breakdown over such a short time… it doesn't look good for you."  
"Whatever. Do I look worried? What? I'm going to get _discharged_? I'm still going to be killing raiders; I'm still going to be killing mutants. I just won't be wearing BoS uniforms."  
"Life doesn't work that way, Corporal."  
"Since when does life have a particular set of rules?" I laugh, holding up my right index finger, my trigger finger, "Do you have any idea how many lives have ended from me inching this finger toward me over a distance of barely an inch? Does that seem fair to you? No, it doesn't. Life shouldn't be extinguished from something as lazy as pulling your finger towards you. There' no skill, just luck. I once had to shoot a little boy in the face to spare him an agonizing death from starvation and heat stroke. I killed him in front of his parents, because I had no other choice. At night, my mind tortures me. I can't even begin to tell you what kind of horrors my mind conjures up when I finally manage to sleep. I'm amazed I can even sleep at night.

If I was religious, I would say that it was god punishing me for all the horrible, disgusting acts I've committed, for all my sins or all that bullshit. But no, it isn't. I'm responsible for my actions. Life doesn't _work; _life _fails_. You get what you're dealt in life, and you suffer through it. You can convince yourself all you want that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, a time when you'll be at peace and with the dog that died when you were 10 years old until the end of time. That'll get you nothing but an early grave. There are two types of people in this world. The people, who accept their shit struggle that is there life, and sit down, get married and squirt out a few kids and pretend the biggest problem in their life is the fact that they can't get good sex at age 35. Then, there are people like us.

People who still accept their lives are going to be nothing but pain and misery, but we do something about it. We run around in filthy sewers and metros and clean out the feral ghouls. We storm into the mutant strongholds and pick them off one by one. We try to make it _better_. I don't do it for me, no; _nothing _even remotely related to peace can _ever _happen in my lifetime, for however long that is.

My girlfriend is probably pregnant, and that baby won't be able to have the childhood that I did. I killed its father, so I doubt we'll see any support from anybody but my Dad. The only thing I can do it try to make it better; to have a couple of dozen less mutants for kids to worry about. This is my life now. When I was a kid, I never would have imagined this being how I'm going to be spending my 20's. I'm shooting children, holding my dying love in my arms, butchering her rapist; while 'men' like him roam this shithole, free and able to do whatever they want. This is how life fails. And if I have to punch a bitchy doctor in the mouth every once and a while to keep myself from snapping, then so be it."  
He stares at me for a long time and I simply look back.

"Well?" I mutter, crossing my arms.  
He stands up and shakes his head, "Stay here."  
"Don't have much of a choice do I?" I chuckle.  
He slams the door behind him and I lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.

…

My eyes flutter open and I see the door to the interrogation room. I stand up sharply and Washington walks in and uncuffs me.  
"Am I free to go?" I rub my sore wrists and look up at him.  
"Sure," he sighs, "Need an escort home?"  
"I'll catch a Brahmin cart." I walk past him and attach my leg.  
"Don't act like you didn't deserve this, kid." He grumbles.  
"Washington," I scowl as I walk away, "Shut the fuck up."

…

I step off the cart and walk into Project Purity. I brush the dust off my jacket and walk downstairs into the barracks. Everyone is asleep except for a few people wandering the halls on patrol. I cringe at the thought of having to face Li in the morning and I rest my forehead against my door. The second I open the door I see a light flick on.  
"No!" I shout when I see Amata sit up on the bed and point a gun at me. I raise my hands and she gasps.  
"Oh god…" she gasps.  
"Hey," I whisper and walk up to her. She hugs me and I kiss her cheek.  
She doesn't cry, and she breaks away after a while.

"You don't have any tattoos?" Amata chuckles softly when I eventually sit down on the bed.  
"Only three," I smirk.  
I slowly unbandage my hand, winding the white off and revealing my healing wound, "I'm sorry I left you. I acted stupid and I paid for it."  
"It was actually… kind of good." She helps me freshly bandage my hand, "it gave me time to think."  
"About what?"  
"That it's not the end of the world if you go away, that I'll still be safe."  
"So safe you sleep with a gun?" I murmur as she winds the fresh bandage around my palm.  
"We had an incident with a mutant a few hours ago. This is just a precaution."  
"How are you feeling?"  
"I've been doing fine."  
"Haven't uh… found out anything?"  
"Stop it, Bright Eyes. I'll let you know."  
I look up at her with a raised eyebrow from her harsh tone, "Easy…"  
"I know. I'm sorry." She attaches a clip to keep the bandages held in and softly kisses my lips. I smile a kiss her forehead and she sighs lightly.  
"C'mon," I rub her bicep, "Go to sleep. I'll protect you from the big bad mutants."  
She chuckles and lies back down, "Fuck you."  
"Goodnight," I smile and kiss her cheek.

…

Amata lies on her stomach, holding a rifle and aiming down the sights at a practise dummy around 40 metres away.  
"You sure you want to go back to firing a gun again?" I yawn as I crouch down beside her.  
"I have to fire a gun," she frowns, squeezing one eye shut and keeping the other open. She fires and the bullet skims past the dummy's arm.  
"Dammit," she mutters.  
It's hot today, as always. I've been out here two years and I'm still not used to the heat. It still feels like I'm breathing thick water it's so damn humid. It's better during night, when it's cooler. Amata is only just emerging outside, and is eager to protect herself.  
"_Squeeze _the trigger, breathe out slowly before firing," I say gently, pointing for the chest of the dummy, "Don't aim for the head."  
She sighs and fires again and hits the chest, "Ha! Yes!"  
"Good shot, beautiful," I smile, "keep that back loose."  
"I think this sight is messed up," she mutters when she fires again with the bullet straying into the brick wall behind the dummy.  
"Let me see," I take the gun off her and stand up, firing five quick shots and hitting around the chest and head.  
"I think it works OK," I smile and hand it back to her. She snatches it from me and sits up, "Smartass."  
"Love you too."  
I laugh when she flips me off and I take out my revolver.

"What a sadistic couple we are," she sighs as I aim down the revolver sight.  
"A sexy Bonnie and Clyde," I laugh, polishing the handle with my clean rag.  
"When are you going to talk to James?"  
"Do I have to?" I whine.  
"What do you think? What would you do if someone beat me up?"  
I raise an eyebrow and wriggle the revolver, "You really want to ask this question? I think they're still scrubbing up that garage."  
"Oh charming." She sighs, rolling her eyes and looking over my shoulder.  
Oh… crap.

"About time you and I had a talk," Dad growls, walking up to me and shoving me up by my arm.  
"Hold up! I'm already on report!" I yell.  
"You punch _my _Madison?!" he growls, "who the hell _are you_?! I didn't think that I'd need to talk to you about not assaulting her!"  
"She told Amata!"  
"Told her what?"  
"That she might be pregnant," I sigh irritably as Amata both of her arms around my left one.  
James backs away slowly and looks at Amata's stomach, "I… I…"  
"Oh _what the fuck_?!" I shout, "How come _she _knows and _you _don't?"  
"I… Madison just told me that Amata couldn't have stronger pain medication…"  
"And you didn't _ask why_?"  
"I assumed that it was something to do with her immune system." He looks at Amata, "Amata I am so, _so_ sorry. I had no idea."  
"We don't know anything for sure yet." She whispers as she hugs me.  
"I… I'm so sorry."  
"I know you are. I'm sorry I hit Madison."  
Dad shakes his head and looks at us. Amata buries her face into my tricep and I can feel something wet hit my bare skin.  
"Dad… maybe you could give us a second?" I whisper.

"Hey," I whisper, "It's OK."  
She hugs me tightly and holds back a sob, "I don't want to do this."  
"For all we know you won't have to," I murmur as I rest my chin against her head.  
"Winter, I'm a week overdue. I just- I don't want to lose you."  
"You won't, no matter what happens." I swear, "Come on. It's going to be OK."  
She walks away from me and wipes her eyes, before picking up her gun. She walks up to the firing line and aims her gun at the practise dummy. She fires while standing and the bullets ram into the faded fabric.

"I'm jealous of you," she grunts, wiping away her tears with her wrist when she empties her clip, "You actually got to kill him. I only have to imagine it."  
I look at her warily and she hands me back the gun.  
"Amata… I'm-"  
"I don't hate you for what you did, Winter." She cuts me off as I curl my fingers around the barrel and stock of the gun, "You did what you thought was best at the time. I'm proud of you for how you saved that boy."  
"I ran right back, I swear. I looked for you."  
"Winter, I don't blame you for what happened to me. I know that if you had of been there, you would have fought back and they would have killed you. I knew that you would find me."  
I drop the gun and she hugs me loosely.  
"You gonna confirm it then?" I murmur against her ear.  
"I'm pregnant," she sighs.  
I nod and hug her, "It's OK. We'll make this work."

…

"Amata's pregnant," I sigh, closing the door and sitting down on Dad's chair in his office inside the memorial.  
Dad gasps and buries his face in his hands, "Oh my god… no. The chances of her being pregnant are next to none."  
"I know, Dad," I sigh miserably, leaning back in my chair and putting my hands behind my head.  
"I mean- the chances that a foreign sperm can-"  
"_Dad_!" I yell, "I don't care how it happened."  
Dad stands up and thoroughly rubs his eyes with his fingertips as I dig into my pocket.  
"W-what are you _doing_?!" he gasps as I reach for my lighter.  
"What?" I frown as I light a cigarette, "You've seen me smoke before."  
"Not when you have a baby on the way!" he gasps, smacking the cigarette away from me.  
"What the hell?! I'm not the one who's pregnant Dad."  
"Yes you are. For the next 9 months you may as well say goodbye to smoking." He snaps, grabbing my packet and crushing it underneath his boot.  
"What? What are you talking about?"  
"Oh yeah, don't even dream that you can light up. This baby is what we call 'half pure'. Before you get mad and get on a tangent, let me explain. When your mother was pregnant with you, she had spent the last 20 years with antibiotics and wasn't mucking around in the filth that your standard waste lander has to crawl through his or her entire life. The same went for me. We weren't mutated with extra toes and fingers; and we didn't have any diseases. Amata is incredibly lucky. Her entire bloodline is genetically pure and she had regular examinations by yours truly. The sad, sad, thing about this is that we have _no_ idea what the father of this child is like. It's _very _safe to assume that he had some kind of disease before he died. Amata hasn't checked out for anything, which is nothing short of a miracle. The point is that we desperately need to make things as easy as possible for that baby. That means _no _smoking."  
"You could have just said those last two sentences and be done with it," I sigh, flicking my wrist at him.

Dad anxiously paces around his office, his hands behind his back and shaking his head.  
"Dad, for Christ's sake settle the hell down!" I snap, "You'll wear a groove into the floor for fuck's sake."

"Winter… I need to tell you something." Dad eventually sighs, sitting down.  
"Dad, I know. I'm really sorry about what happened to Madison, I just… snapped and I-"  
"It's not that. It's about your mother…"  
"Is Catherine my mother?" I ask again, I know I've asked it before a few months ago, but the thought always nudges at my mind.  
"Yes. Yes the photo I had back in the Vault was your mother. I promise."  
I look down and shake my head, "Do I want to hear this?"  
"Do you want to find out?" he whispers.  
I shake my head and laugh, "My day can't get much worse."

Dad opens a drawer on his desk and hands me a small book. I open it and see photos of my mum and dad when they were far younger, around maybe 19 or 20. Mum is holding a baby in her arms and is absolutely beaming; she doesn't have the hint of grey hair and baggy eyes in other photos I've seen of her.  
"I made Madison promise to hold onto these, should there be an opportunity for you to see them." He sighs and sips at a small glass of whiskey.  
I flip through the photo book, and my eyes widen.

The baby slowly grows over time, and grows into messy brown hair. I quickly snap the book shut when I see a picture of mum hugging a small, seven year old boy wearing a baseball shirt. I look up at Dad with wide, alarmed eyes.  
"He died when he was 12 years old," Dad sits down beside me and points to the picture of the boy after he takes the book from me, "You were around 10 months old at the time."

I feel sick. My head starts pounding and my mouth dries up so my throat feels like sand paper. My fingers tremble as they reach for the photo and my palms almost drip with sweat.  
"W…who is he, Dad?"  
"Matthew. He was your brother, Winter."  
"G…ah…" I exhale out, my body slumping forward and my head almost banging against my knee. I look at the photo again and shake my head.  
"No… no, you're lying to me." I shake my head, "I don't have a brother. You _never _told me I had a brother."  
"You did." He shows me a picture of Matthew holding me when I was a baby, "He loved you very much."

Matthew looks a lot like me; very dark brown, almost black, messy hair, but shining green eyes. He smiles at the camera with a big goofish grin and holds me up like a trophy.  
"I… is he still alive somewhere?" I whisper, fighting to keep my breakfast down.  
Dad shakes his head, "He died, and I saw it with my own eyes. Your mother and Matthew died together. They loved you so much, and they would give anything to protect you… including their lives. He was a lot like you, wanted to be a soldier, always had a smart mouth."  
I shake my head rapidly, "Why? Why tell me this now? After 20 years?"  
"Because, I need you to learn from what I've done. I put the project before my family. I thought that it would mean so much to whatever is left of this godforsaken country. Your mother left me to move to somewhere safe, she was so concerned about you two, and she had every right to be. I was blind; I needed to get this finished. I put my work ahead of my family. You and I never really got along; you seemed more interested in playing and chasing Susie than science or medicine. That's just the way it went. But I need you to listen to me. You need to take Amata somewhere _safe_, while you still have the chance. Don't gamble with their lives."

I nod, "I know what you mean. But… I don't know where I can take her. Megaton is out because they don't have a proper doctor and it's located right next to Springvale. Rivet City's out too because there's too many junkies and criminals."  
Dad sighs and sits down, "No. What she needs is a place where she will always be secure. Where there is no chance of an invasion of any kind and access to excellent medical equipment. I'm asking you to make a sacrifice, Winter."  
"What do you mean?" I ask anxiously.  
"You… you need to take her back home."


	25. The Other Way

"Home?!" I splutter, "What do you mean 'home'?"  
"The Vault. She needs to raise the baby there."  
"Are you seriously thinking about that?! We'll be shot on sight!" I yell, "She's already fragile enough as it is! She doesn't need her father pointing a gun at my face!"  
"You and I both know what needs to happen. We aren't equipped to be a maternity ward here."  
"Then I will go out for a supply run. Every single day for 9 months if that's what it takes." I snarl, "She can't do this."  
"Winter, she needs this Vault. You and I both know that this is what she and this baby needs. Like it or not, this is your child as well. You've made it clear that you'll stay with Amata, so this is your baby too. You love this baby right?"  
I lick my lips and shake my head, "I love Amata and the baby, but… I don't think that I can look at that baby and not see its father."  
"I know. I still can't look at you without seeing Catherine. But you want her to be safe."  
"I just…" I run my hands through my hair as the reality of the situation sets in, "I won't be able to stay."  
He slowly shakes his head, "No. I personally cannot see the Overseer allowing you back in."  
"Oh god…" I rub my face and slump down into the chair.  
"You know what has to be done here."  
"I'll never see her again, though," I whisper, scrunching my eyes tight and tugging at my hair.  
"You probably won't," he shrugs, "But if something happens to her or that baby, who will you blame?"  
I shake my head and stand up, "I… I need to think about this."  
"There really isn't much to think about."  
"Yeah, Dad, there fucking is."

I leave Dad's office and walk into the courtyard where Amata is sitting down with her legs crossed.  
"Hey," she sighs when she sees me, "How did it-"  
I slide down onto the dirt beside her and kiss her deeply. I almost break down into tears when she eventually kisses back, but I have to suck it up, again.  
"How about that walk I was talking about? Before I did my jail time of course," I smile.  
"What got into you?" she chuckles when I break away.  
"Nothing," I get up and look toward the gate, "are we gonna go?"  
"Honey I'm not feeling so up to it," she chuckles.  
"I will never ask you to clean my revolver ever again if you walk with me for 20 minutes," I press my palms together into a pleading position with a small smile on my face.  
She gives me a suspicious look and I smirk, "I swear I won't make a move, I swear."  
"My god are you actually offering to do something romantic for the sake of being sweet and not for the sake of sex?" she gasps as she stands up, "it must be my birthday."

…

I twirl my fingers around hers and look down at the ground.  
"Honey…" she trails off, "are you OK?"  
"I'm fine beautiful," I smile weakly.  
"I was thinking while you were talking with your dad about what we should do."  
Oh god, thank you god. Amata will know what to do. She'll discover this place that we can live in forever.  
"I think we should probably go and scavenge one of the abandoned Vaults that didn't break."  
Yes! Of course!

"That is a very good idea," I grin, "That's good. I'll _definitely _think about doing that."  
"Jesus, honey; it isn't that good an idea." She chuckles.  
"Trust me, it's a good idea." I nod rapidly.  
"O…K I'll take your word for it," she frowns.

"Do you think we'll be OK?" she sighs, resting her head against my shoulder.  
"Relax hon, I'll be fine," I smile, kissing her goodbye, "We'll be OK."

…

We sit outside for a long time. I listen patiently to Amata, who constantly yaps on and on about things she read in baby books and her various future appointments with Li and Dad. I understand that this is just Amata's "therapy", she says stuff she worries about to me, and I nod and agree with what she plans to do or offer advice towards her. It keeps her happy, but it keeps my mind on the fact that this may be the last few weeks or months I have to share with her. I love her idea, but these Vaults have been abandoned for 200 years, I honestly doubt that I can find so much as a packet of pain killers.

Amata finally talks herself hoarse, and agrees to go into Jefferson to get something to eat. On our way back, Washington suddenly walks up to us and stops me.  
"Daniels, I've gotta show you something pronto," he says quickly with a huge grin on his face.  
"What is it?" I frown, looking back at Amata.  
"We just got a new supply convoy, you've gotta see what our buddies down the mid-west have gotten us."  
"I'll leave you two to it," Amata chuckles and walks back into Jefferson. Washington and I tend to get overexcited when new "toys" have arrived. For me it's unsettling, I never expected I'd allow myself to get excited over a new type of gun or a new bullet that can carve into a concrete wall. But, y'know… go figure.

…

"What the _fuck _is that thing?!" I yell, jumping away from it.  
"A horse," he rolls his eyes and pats the neck of the large beast. Oh I'm a fucking idiot. How could I possibly forget what a stupid horse looks like from all the western movies I watched as a kid? Pft, kid. I was 19 and I was still watching these. That was two years ago, I'm still a kid.  
"We got 'em from a group of traders a few hours ago, a good few dozen of them from parks in Virginia." He says proudly, "This one's called Kai."

Kai, in actual fact, is a pretty nice looking animal. He's tall and strong looking, with a rich bronze coat and honey hair. A fading bronze saddle sits on his back and stirrups looks like they'll rip off the second I put weight on them. Kai lowers his head so it's in level of my face and I delicately put my hand on his forehead, like he'll bite my hand off the second I touch him.  
"Aw he likes you," Washington teases when Kai nods his hand up and down as if to make my hand pet him.  
"Shut up," I chuckle, "So where do I have to walk him?"  
"You're learning to ride him."  
"What? Why do I need to learn to ride a horse?"  
"All MPs are required to learn to ride. Because of the fact we're travelling around so much, it helps to have something to make getting to our assignment faster and easier. This bad boy here'll outrun most everything but a Yao Guai. Born and bred for speed and endurance."  
"No shit," I raise my eyebrows, "can he outrun a bullet?"  
He shakes his head and starts to laugh, "Fucking smartass; just get on the fucking horse."

_Three weeks later_

I sprint out of Jefferson and spring up into the air. I spring and push myself up on the back of Kai's ass and sit firmly in the saddle. I smack his ass again and he blasts off into a sprint, kicking up dust as he runs.  
"Come on," I snarl, jabbing him with my left heel. He runs faster, breathing heavily through his nose and determined to go as fast as he possibly can.  
"Come on!" I yell, smacking him again, "come on, Kai!"  
I spot my target, moving quickly along the dirt road, running as fast as she possibly can toward nearby raider camp carrying valuable BoS information. Right now she's a distant speck in the distance, but she's rapidly becoming larger and larger.  
"Come on, boy," I growl, "Come on you bastard I know you can run faster than this!"

Kai is a champion. He actually _gains_ speed, snarling like a demon and sprinting with everything he has. My target is within shooting distance.  
"Easy boy…" I grunt, slowing him down a bit and un-holstering the gun at my hip. I fire a shot, and the tiny green ball speeds toward the target's back. A small green splat hits her back and she collapses onto the ground.  
"Easy…" I slow Kai down and dismount him. I go into one of the bags and grab one of the apples that Li had growing in her lab that I may or may not have stolen.  
"Good boy," I smile, feeding him the apple and scratching his mane.  
"Goddamn…" a soldier sighs, rubbing the green spot on her back, "that fucker's gonna sting in the morning."  
"Ha!" I laugh, "Sorry Nichols, I didn't want to aim for your head."  
"On second thought, that's fine, I can live with the back injury."

Nichols, I think her first name is… Anna? Alex? Alice! I'm sure it's Alice! BoS rarely refer to each other by our first name, and I doubt Washington even knows mine, and I don't know his. Nichols served as a stable girl for the horses. Since Kai is "mine", I spent some time getting to know him in the stables. Amata usually comes with me when she doesn't have an appointment with Dad or Li. Because I'm the only one who gives half a fuck about  
"Just get us back to base, this 'Intel' is heavy as hell."  
I stuff the intel into one of the satchels on Kai's saddle and slip onto the saddle. It's difficult to get on with my bad leg but weeks of practising have given me a decent strategy, though I still look like a fucking idiot.  
Nichols, a few years my senior and the ripe old age of 29, gets on the horse behind me.  
"Just… for fuck's sake cowgirl, just- don't go so- fuck!"  
I jab Kai's side and he breaks into a full sprint. I laugh when Nichols flings her arms around my stomach and almost presses my stomach against my spine.

"I swear to god I'm going to kill you, Daniels!" Nichols shouts. I swear if Kai could laugh I think he would be laughing his ass off right now.  
"You'd think you'd never ridden a horse before."

I smile when I see Amata walking out of Jefferson. Nichols, for my benefit, takes her arms away from my stomach. I slow Kai down to a small trot and go up to her.  
"Hey," I smile, hopping off the saddle and landing smoothly on the ground. I dig into the satchel and bring out the intel, files stuffed with old bible pages.  
"Here you go ma'am," I say in a heavy southern accent, holding the intel toward her.  
"Oh, my hero," she smiles, wrapping her arms around my neck and pecking my lips.  
"Ugh," Nichols chuckles and sticks a finger inside her mouth and acts up a gagging noise.  
Amata blushes slightly and steps away from me, holding out her arms and taking the papers. This entire exercise is simple, find out what's missing in Jefferson, and go after the thief before he or she gets to home base. Having a horse makes it a million times easier, and having a 200 year old paintball gun makes it much less deadly.

"Nice cock-block, Nichols."  
"No problems," she shrugs, patting Kai's cheek.  
"Yelp, have fun cleaning him. I," I hand his reigns over to Nichols, "am going to go make out with my girlfriend."  
"Oh I'm so jealous," she mocks, "have fun holding a screaming brat in 9 months' time. Please, enjoy yourself while you can."  
"Wow you're in a good mood today. In fine form," I mutter sarcastically.  
"Well you did just shoot me in the back," she rolls her eyes at me and walks off with Kai, "Just go ahead and stick your tongue in the Hispanic all you want."  
"Easy." I frown, surprised at her sudden lash at Amata, and such a cheap shot as well.

"Hey," I smile slightly at Amata, who's fiddling with a few medical supplies. I walk up behind her and slip my arms around her stomach and softly peck her neck. Her hand moves up and touches my cheek and she turns around to kiss me properly, though there isn't much passion behind it. The love is there; sure, it just doesn't have the enthusiasm. And, in all honesty, I really can't blame her.

Amata is very gradually on the mend, though it doesn't mean she doesn't flinch whenever I unexpectedly touch her. I reluctantly break away and sit down on our small bed and allow her to get her composure back. She knew it was me in the room with her, but she still jumped a bit when I wrapped my arms around her.  
"Get off of there!" she gasps, pulling me up and bashing my arms as I lie down.  
"Ow! Hey, what the hell was that for?" I whine, jumping up and getting off the bed like it's on fire.  
"You are covered in dust and dirt," she scolds, "I don't want to be sneezing all night when I start to breathe it."  
Her hands start to unbutton my jacket and she sighs, "I'm sorry I hurt you but, come on, honey…"  
"I'm sorry!" I chuckle.  
"How the hell did it get on your arms?!" she gasps, shaking her head and rubbing some dirt off my olive tanned arms., "go take a shower."  
"Yes mother," I tease. Amata rolls her eyes and begins to slip my shirt over my head, when the door suddenly swings open.  
"Shit!" Amata gasps. She quickly shoves my shirt down and looks toward the door.  
Dad is standing in the doorway, flushed bright red and holding a doctor's bag.  
"I… um… I'll come back later."  
"No, Dad," I laugh, "it's fine. I was just going to take a shower."  
I walk into the bathroom and chuckle to myself.

…

When I come out from the shower Amata is lying down on the bed with Dad taking a blood sample from her.  
I sit down beside her and she shuffles up so her head rests in my lap. I put my hand on her shoulder and Dad smiles slightly at me, a kind of "I hope you're OK" smile. I run my fingers through her hair subconsciously and look at him with a stern look. He shakes his head and carefully packs up his things.  
"I can already tell by now that you need to start eating more," Dad sighs at Amata, "you're supposed to be gaining weight, not picking at your food during dinner."  
She sits up and nods, "I'll try to eat more."  
"Don't try, do," he says firmly, "just read the books we gave you, OK?"  
Amata nods again and I thank Dad, but we weren't finished yet.

"Dad, Amata and I have been talking about the possibility of Winter salvaging supplies through one of the Vaults in D.C."  
"Yeah, it was me who suggested it," Amata nods, looking at me.  
"Would it be something that you'd be interested in Winter doing?" Dad looks at me, even though he's talking to Amata.  
"Well… I'm never comfortable with Winter being in danger… but I suppose I wouldn't mind if she would only be gone a few hours." Amata shrugs.  
"It would be around a day and a half if I stop to camp for the night." I shrug, "but I'll have Kai with me so it'll be faster."  
"Uh… OK I guess…" she nods before smiling at me, "I know you'll be OK. You're too stubborn to get hurt."  
"So I'll go tomorrow?" I glance between Dad and Amata.  
"Sure," she nods, "You'll be fine."

…

My Pip-boy starts to beep at around 4AM. I open my eyes and carefully push a sleeping Amata off my left shoulder and arm. I get dressed and load my rifle and revolver before stuffing rifle magazines and strapping on a bandoleer stuffed with revolver rounds.  
"I'll be back soon," I whisper and kiss Amata's temple. She doesn't stir and I brush the hair off her face before leaving.

"Nichols?" I yawn when I walk into the stables and rub the back of my head, "You ready? Nichols?"  
I poke my head to look through the stable and find Nichols curled up in a stable. Her messy blonde hair is tied back into a loose bun and her flannel clothes are crumpled. I pick up a small pebble and toss it at her.  
"Mph…" she grumbles, "go away, Daniels."  
"Come on," I smile, "you've gotta move your ass."

She picks herself up and finds her horse, officially named Thunder under BoS records but lovingly called "Fuckstick" by Nichols when no COs or Knights are hanging around the stables.

"I don't understand how you can sprint a horse all day but freak out when you're a passenger." I frown, climbing onto Kai using my left leg first and swinging my right over using my hip for momentum.  
"Because I bounce around like a mother fucker when I'm riding your crazy ass horse," she sighs, guiding Thunder out of the stables, "and it's called galloping you retard. Why do I even have to go with you anyways?"  
"Always the charming one," I laugh, nudging Kai into a canter and leaving the stable. Stable is being generous. A makeshift square fits nicely. They'll build more secure ones soon, but until now we just have to pray it won't collapse when a horse nudges against the wall at night.  
"Nichols, you have to go because you have to make sure Kai doesn't wander off when I'm searching for supplies." I say patiently as she follows beside me.  
"And you couldn't bring Washington because…?"  
"Because Washington can't ride for shit," I smirk.

We ride mostly in silence toward Vault 108. We share a few words every now and then, but otherwise it's mostly an uncomfortable silence. Halfway through the ride, after around 6 hours, my hip starts to ache almost unbearably from the constant jolting against my hip bone from my fake leg, and I start to whimper in pain.  
"Are you doing OK?" Nichols frowns, "we can stop if you want."  
I shake my head and close my eyes, "I'll manage, it's good."

It's late afternoon when we get to Vault 108. My hip is in absolute agony but I really want to get out of this damn Vault before 6, when the sun goes down.  
"Stay here," I look back at Nichols, "it actually won't be that bad an idea to set up camp."  
"Yes, boss," she chuckles, dismounting her horse and gripping hold of Kai's reigns.  
"I'll be back soon." I smile, walking into the entrance to the entrance of the Vault and opening the old wooden door.

It's the standard entrance to any bomb shelter. Various skeletons litter the walkway to the entrance and there's always a video camera, but this time, the Vault door is wide open. I sigh and walk through the door, muttering to myself when I see bullet holes around the walls and shell casings around the place. I turn around a corner and I see something I didn't expect to see; a person.

"Gaaary," He smiles, walking slowly towards me. He's dressed in a Vault jumpsuit, but doesn't have a Pip-boy to his wrist like I do. He's older, around his 30's with greying hair, with wild brown eyes.  
"Uh… hey… Gary," I chuckle awkwardly, taking a step back, "I didn't expect this place to still be open."  
"Gary," he licks his lips and takes another step toward me.  
"Woah buddy," I put a hand on my revolver handle, "I'm just here looking for some supplies. If you can't spare anything, I can just leave. I'm friendly, I'm not going to shoot you."  
"Gary!" he snarls angrily, leaping toward me.  
"Shit! Stay back, man!" I yell ripping out my revolver, "I don't want to shoot you!"  
He grabs a hold of my arm and lifts it up to bite me, saliva dripping from his mouth and a grin on his face.  
"Get off!" I yell, swinging and smashing my fist against Gary's head.  
"Gary! Gary!" he screams, covering his ears, "Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary!"  
"Jesus Christ…" I trail off, stepping over his hysterical body and going deeper into the Vault.

Luckily, every Vault constructed by the good ol' folks at Vault-Tec has roughly the same layout, so I use my memory of Vault 101 to move into the medical clinic. The hallways are empty, but there are cans of food everywhere, just opened and thrown carelessly around the halls. The smell is incredible. Does the incinerator in this Vault not work or something? I move further down the stairs and turn to walk through the cafeteria. "Oh… shit…"

Twenty Vault residents sit upright in their cafeteria. They all stand in unison, and look exactly the same to the smallest detail. They all are men in their early 30's, but with balding, greying hair. They're dressed in the same Vault uniform, look exactly like the guy I encountered not 10 minutes ago, and they all say exactly the same thing.  
"Gary…" they trail off, their voices eerily flowing towards me like a lazy current.  
"Back!" I bark like I'm scolding my dog, whipping out my gun and aiming it with two hands.  
"Gary…" they drone, walking toward me like zombies.  
"Back!" I snarl and fire a bullet into the air, "get back!"  
They all snarl like animals and start to limp-jog towards me, like their legs are broken.  
"Shit," I gasp and fire a few rounds and put down six before I have to reload. I run up a stair case and shove a nearby desk against the open doorway, blocking them from just walking past it and testing their less than perfect coordination.  
I sprint away from the staircase and shove six bullets into the chamber and snap it shut. I hide behind a pillar and fire at the group of Garys.  
"Goddammit!" I swear when I hear the moans getting louder, which can only mean my gunfire has stirred more of them up. I'm too far deep in the Vault for any radio signal to Nichols to be transmitted, but at least I have them in a tight corner. I crouch down on one knee and fire for their chests. The bullets make blood spray up the hallway and ceiling as several of the… I don't know "men?" fall in front of me. I look down at my bandolier and smile.

"Fire in the hole!" I holler as the grenade goes flying into the air. I timed it so I threw it with a mere four seconds to spare before detonation. It isn't the greatest thing to hold a live explosive in your hands, but whatever, it gets the job done. I hear the explosion, and I hear a series of large splashes, like when someone dumps a bucket of water on concrete.  
I close my eyes and wait.

After 30 seconds I don't hear another noise, so I fire one shot into the air. When I don't hear another round of "Gary"s, I warily stand up and walk down into the staircase where I dropped the grenade.  
"Oh Christ!" I gag and stagger away. The walls and ceiling are now painted in thick red goo, with body parts flung everywhere. I run away from it and gag a further few times, before limply tying one of my spare jackets around my nose and mouth to mask the smell. I take a run up and jump down the staircase, over all the mess and I slam into the clean floor below me.

"Ugh! Ow…" I cough and gingerly pick myself up, before running out past the cafeteria and into the medical clinic. The door is locked and the keypad for the door access slides open. I remember Dad always typing his pass code. I type the 12 digit code in and the keypad slides back into the door and the door slides open.  
"Shit… why did I have to jump over that?" I wince and rub my sore ribs on my left side. I open the medicine cabinets and my eyes widen.

There's so much in here. Pain killers, antibiotics, vitamins, cold tablets, bandages, Band-Aids. I start to practically drool and I open my backpack. I stuff the vitamins and antibiotics into my bag and start to rummage around for different supplies. I look up at the higher shelves and cough a bit, sliding a few of the packets into the bag and zipping it up.  
"Damn I need another bag," I sigh irritably. I had expected this place to be nearly picked clean, not overflowing with everything a person needed when it came to a pregnancy, as well as preventing one.

I fling the bag over my shoulders and look down at some gas cylinders. They're too heavy for me to carry by myself but I smile when I see some green whistles. I only saw one birth in the Vault, when I was around 18 and Jonas was sick with a bad flu. I remember the mother sucking down green whistles like there was no tomorrow and acting like I do when I'm high on Jet.

After I stuff some whistles into my bag I walk up the levels in the Vault. Me, notoriously known for not thinking ahead, have forgotten that I had to go _up _the bloodied stairs, as well as travel down them. My shoes sink into the goo with every step and I have no choice but to look down to avoid tripping over a ribcage or large organs. It's almost like a cartoon, just red everywhere like when the Chinese soldier exploded when "America's weapon paves the way toward freedom!"

I reach the top of the stairs and fight to keep my food down. I eventually make it into the entrance and smile a bit when I see sunlight.

…

"Hey, Kai," I smile, patting his neck and feeding him an apple, "You mind waiting here for just a while? Nichols, can you help me with something?"  
"Where are we going," Nichols frowns as I walk back into the Vault.  
"I found a cylinder that makes you fall asleep; I don't know what it's called. It can help if we have to give her surgery. But, it's too heavy for me to carry by myself." I smile and lead her down.

…

I find a high pressure hose in the maintenance room and spray the staircase clean of blood and muscles until it's mostly pooled to the sides. Nichols doesn't have as strong a stomach as I do, the second she sees the massacre on the stairs she turns around and vomits all over the cafeteria.  
"Whoa," I frown and put a hand on her shoulder, "you OK Nichols?"  
"Fine," she coughs and wipes her mouth, "What did you _do_?!"  
"Grenade," I shrug.  
"Why?!"  
"They were clones or something. I tried to reason with them, I shot warning shots, I told them to get back, they didn't budge, I swear… Do you want to go further or do you want to take a break?"  
"I'll be fine. It's a little shock, that's all."  
I smile and squeeze her shoulder, "Let's get to it, then."

It takes us a good hour, but we manage to lug the gas cylinder using two ropes I rummaged through Thunder's saddle to find.  
Nichols manages to keep her food down as we drag the gas cylinder up the staircase. I found some anti-nausea pills and fed them to her before we left though, apparently it seemed to help.

We finally lug it up to the entrance of the Vault and manage to finally, and carefully, put it down beside my supplies.  
"We'll have dinner, sleep, then set off first thing tomorrow," Nichols decides.  
"Yeah, I'll go with that," I nod.  
"Thanks for taking me with you." she smiles and sits down cross legged beside her sleeping bag.  
"Seriously? I thought I was going to take you to see a shrink from your reaction to that staircase." I laugh.  
"No… well yeah that was pretty damn messed up," she sighs, "I mean, that… I don't know… it's just good to get out of Jefferson every once in a while."  
"I hear that." I laugh, opening a can of beans and ignore the dirty spoon beside me and decide to just drink it instead."  
"Damn, so lady like," she smirks.

"Fuck you," I grin.  
"I'm gonna go to bed," she sighs, crawling into the sleeping bag, "Goodnight, Daniels."  
"Night, Nichols," I smile and get to work on starting a fire.

…

"So it was just abandoned?" Dad frowns, crossing his arms.  
"You could say that. It was fully stocked, and this was only in the medical clinic, no telling how much is in the storage facilities."  
I decided on the way back to Jefferson that I wouldn't tell Dad about the insane Garys in the Vault. I told him that the Vault was locked and the people inside it long gone, probably pushed into the wastes or overrun by impulsive raiders who didn't stop to realise that every door had a lock.  
"You got all of this in one supply run?" he holds up the vitamins.  
"Absolutely. If I go for one run every month, maybe even bring Dogmeat a few times with some bags tied to him, we'd be more than ready."  
"Ready for what?"  
"To have the baby," I shrug, slipping the bag over my shoulders, "We've got the supplies to do almost everything we would need to do, as far as I can tell there's no danger, and I'll die before this kid grows up in danger."  
"Winter!" he gasps, "I thought we agreed on this!"  
"Dad, I'm not having this argument. Go work on the project and I'll deal with it."

…

I impatiently walk out of Dad's office and into the courtyard, keen on slipping in a smoke.

I look back and see Amata walking toward me with some bags.  
"Where are you going?" I frown, slipping the unlit cigarette into my packet and tucking it into my pocket.  
"Back home." She sighs and tosses a bag at me, "I need to get away from Jefferson for a while. Besides, I've missed our Megaton love nest."  
I cringe and she pecks the corner of my lips.  
"You know I hate when you call it that," I scowl and pick up my bags and follow her.  
"Just come on!" she laughs, shaking her head almost in disbelief.

"You can't be serious," I sigh, "It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon and I just got back from hunting for supplies. I can't bring Kai because I technically don't own him. Do you want me to yell at you or something? Because this is a pretty shit idea."  
"Oh, I love you too Winter," I can feel her rolling her eyes as she walks in front of me, "you always say the best things to cheer me up."

"Honey," I groan, "I hate to ask this but I have to. Is this that freaky pregnancy emotion thing I was reading about?"  
"Oh my god you sound exactly like your father," she gasps and turns to face me in amazement.  
"I'll take that as a yes," I smirk and dodge the plastic water bottle she hurls at me.  
"I had to get out of there. If I had to feel your father's hands on my stomach one more time…"  
"Nope!" I shout, covering my hands with my ears, "I really don't need that image in my head!"  
Amata rolls her eyes, "Winter, come on."

…

"Aw _man, _I _really_ don't want to build a fire," I whine as I drag my feet along the dirt, "Aw I really don't want to cook Iguana bits on a shitty camp fire."  
"I have to listen to you talk in your sleep every night so whatever."  
"I think you're making that up," I jab my finger against her shoulder playfully, "I don't have any annoying habits that you can hold against me so you had to make one up."  
"Who's Cindy? And Matthew?"  
"Cindy is my mistress," I tease, my chest aching a bit when she brings up Matthew, the brother she doesn't know that I had.

"Pft, like you could find someone who could stand you that isn't me," she scoffs.  
"I suppose…" I fake a deep sigh, "so I'm stuck with you, then?"  
"Yep," she smiles, "and I'm stuck with you too."  
"Nah sweetheart, you'll find someone easy." I smile and catch up to her so we're walking side by side. She holds my hand and I kiss the top of her head.  
"Maybe I don't want someone else to," she almost mouths and strokes my front palm with her thumb. I smile at the act of affection and kiss the top of her head.  
"Eh the time will come when I'll ask if you really want to be stuck with me forever," I say casually, "pretty soon I imagine."  
She flashes a grin at me and I smile, looking ahead at the area ahead of us like nothing happened.  
"I love you," she laughs, "but don't tease me like that again."

Pft, I wasn't teasing.


	26. Say It Ain't So

**Big thanks to TrueNeutral for being my beta. Go check him out if you haven't already; he's got good work on his page :-)**

* * *

_Four months later_

"I hate these books," I groan, dropping the open book on my face.  
"You have to read them," Amata shakes her head at me and puts the book back in my hands.  
"But _why_?!" I flip through the pages, "I don't need to know when the baby starts kicking because I will _find out _when you walk up to me and say, 'Hey, honey. The baby is kicking.'"  
"Winter, you have to read the baby books."  
I groan again and dump it onto the coffee table, "This is bull crap."  
"Don't be a baby. I thought you were excited to read these."  
"'Excited' is a generous word to use. I was hoping it would explain why you're acting so batshit crazy recently."

She cuffs the back of my head and I laugh, "Do we have any tinned peaches left?"  
"Don't you dare eat my comfort food," she warns as I walk into the kitchen.  
I stab open the can and cut open a hole with my knife. I chug down the liquid and smirk, "Wow that tastes good." I pick up my bag, "Alright. You know the drill. I'll be in Jefferson for a week, get money, go for a scavenging run in the Vault and be back by next Friday. You, walk around, help save a few lives with Church and be an amazing life-saving hero, have lunch with Gob or somebody, cry at nothing, have crazy hormones, and listen to the radio."  
"Fuck you," she smiles and pecks my lips. "I love you."  
"Love you too."

I walk down into Springvale, which is slowly rising to bullshit levels on the "shit-hole" scale and find Kai in one of the stables.  
"Hey," I smile when he sees me and trots toward me, "how you doing big guy?"  
I pat his mane and open the peach can properly and hold it out for him. He licks the can clean and I strap my bag onto the back of his saddle.  
"Hey hot stuff," Nichols smirks, walking up to me with her horse in tow.  
"Don't call me that," I sigh as I climb onto Kai and nudge him into a walk, "Amata will rip you in half. What are you doing here anyway?"  
"Well I _was _planning on getting some leave, but that plan's gone out the window. I'm heading back to Jefferson? Want some company?"  
"Sure."

…

"I've been promoted," she says suddenly when she catches up to me in a canter.  
"Congratulations," I smirk. "what rank? Head of Stables? Cannon Fodder 1st Class?"  
"I'm a Corporal, smartass, same as you."  
"How come I don't get promoted? I've been under here for more than a year and I still haven't been promoted."  
"Yeah, well, I've been at my rank for two. Unless you're in the Lyons' Pride you can kiss a quick promotion goodbye."  
"Marvelous," I sigh.  
"How's the baby?"  
"Still in her guts."  
"Are you looking forward to having a kid?"  
I sigh and look down, "It's not my kid."  
"The kid won't know who its Dad is," she laughs, "If it's a boy it isn't going to come out with a magnum in his hand. Might as well pretend to be the Dad and freak everyone out a little."  
"I'm not ready for it. I mean, I'm horrible around kids. They're whiny and annoying and they cry and they scream. I can't be a role model and I'm not exactly patient with them."  
"Take off then. Amata can't chase after you with a baby, it's a big Wasteland."  
"I think that the baby is a girl." I change the subject and take a drink from my canteen.  
"How can you _possibly _know that?"  
I smirk and bit my lip, "I read in a book that if a woman has serious morning sickness it's going to be a girl."  
"Oh, nice," Nichols shakes her head, "that's fucking gross, Daniels."  
"Whatever. Amata is adamant that it's a boy though. I mostly do it to piss her off."

…

"Daniels," Nichols whispers, "do you think we should go this way?"  
I lead Kai under an underpass and go pass one of the old supermarkets around DC's outskirts, he's a fast horse, but he tends to be stupid and clumsy.  
"Why are you whispering?" I laugh and look over my shoulder.  
"I ain't stupid," she tuts. "Aren't there raider camps around here?"  
"So? If we can avoid them, we'll avoid them. If not, we can handle ourselves."  
"I don't know how to kill a fucking raider, Daniels!" she whispers loudly.  
"Stop whispering!" I say loudly. "It isn't hard Nichols, point and shoot. It's not RobCo science."  
I hear her making an anxious little whine and I turn my head back, "They're just raiders, Nichols. We can handle them."

"Ah, shit!" Nichols sighs, "You see that?"  
I grab my revolver scope I always leave unattached and peer down at the group, "Ah shit…"  
Raiders, again. Nichols and I are on top of a steep hill overlooking the group who are around 50 metres away.

This particular group sticks to the traditional raider population of around 5 to 9, rarely stretching past 10. They haven't spotted us yet; they just go by their daily ritual. A few of them are sitting by a campfire eating what I can only guess is some diseased mole rat they haven't bothered to cook with care. Two of them are filling up half used magazines and another is sleeping on the ground in between them. All of them are filthy and wear standard raider gear, studded armour with the men shirtless and the women only wearing carved out old car headlights for breast plates.

"Can you shoot?" Nichols murmurs, sliding out her sniper rifle.  
"Does a ghoul shit its pants?" I sigh, taking the rifle and dismount Kai.  
"Take them back," I whisper, flicking my wrist at her. "I'll be easier to spot with two horses beside me."  
She nods, grabs Kai's reigns and leads them 10 metres away from me and out of sight. I nod and lie down on my stomach and aim down the scope of the rifle.

It's sad to say this, but I take killing as a percentage game now. Usually women have steadier hands, but the women in this group only have baseball bats, knives, or pistols that are likely not cared for and are hard to aim. They can be the targets I pick off last. The men, however, clearly are the "alphas". Ugh. Generally they are the most fed ad have the most energy, though they have access to the most drugs. I know I couldn't shoot a target 50 metres away if I was high on Jet. Most of the men have rifles strapped onto their backs and pose a more immediate threat. They can go first. I swear it's like dealing with Neanderthals.

My shoot echoes through the clearing and carves nicely into the neck of one of the men sitting down to eat. He lets out a gurgled scream and his group members scream as well, especially the ones who are now decorated with a nice shiny coat of red. Good, they're scared. Fortunately, the guy I shot in the next slumps forward for some reason, giving the impression that I shot from behind him. "Goodnight," I grunt, shooting a large balding man in the head when he fires a few rounds at the distance nowhere near me.  
"Clark!" a woman bawls, sprinting towards him. She barely makes it half way before my bullet slams into her shoulder and sends her flying.  
"Jesus! Daniels just- I don't know! Let them run!" Nichols shouts, covering her ears as the screams of agony ripple through the air.  
I ignore her and aim again.  
"Bye," I smirk and curl my finger towards me, barely an inch, that's all it takes. I finish off the screaming woman and quickly end a man trying to drag her to cover.  
"Don't even try," I shake my head as I shoot another man. "Die with some goddamn honour."

Only one is left, and he looks around, bewildered.  
"Watch this," I beckon Nichols close to me. She reluctantly steps forward and lies down beside me after pinning the reigns to the horses down with a tent peg.  
"Nichols, there are two types of raiders," I explain. "Ones who are chicken shit scared of death, and ones who are chicken scared of death and want to fight to stay alive."  
"What are you going to do?"  
I shoot a bullet at him that skims the dirt around his feet.  
"You missed!" she whispers loudly.  
"Shh," I whisper sharply, "watch what he does."

I can see him whispering to himself, probably praying or begging or swearing. He looks around desperately and spins around like a little kid.  
"See? Watch," I fire again, skimming along the dirt again.  
"What are you doing?! He'll find us," she whispers urgently, tugging at my shoulder.  
"No, he won't," I say gently, "and if he does, he won't have time to shoot me. He only has a pistol, Nichols, you're safe. He's scared, he isn't thinking straight. I won't let him hurt you." I hand her the rifle.  
"No," she shakes her head, "I'll miss."  
"You can do this. Come on Corporal."  
"I… Okay."

She gingerly takes the rifle and looks down the scope.  
"That's it, just relax," I murmur, positioning my head so I just look over her shoulder. "Don't aim for the head, just aim for the chest."  
I put my hand on her back to steady myself and she jolts.  
"Just relax your back. When you're ready to fire just squeeze the trigger, don't yank on it."  
She exhales softly and fires.

"Ye-AHHH!" his scream echoes and comes in faint to my ears as the bullet drives into his leg. He collapses onto the ground, clutching his leg in horrible pain and blood streaming out of it.  
"Oh god, oh god!" Nichols gasps, "Daniels I can't do this!"  
I cover her ears tightly with my hands, "You've got this. Just aim a little higher and it's all over."  
She flinches and fires. She yanks on the trigger in a moment of panic and the gun barrel jolts upward. Nichols fires rapidly and the bullets drive into the target over and over.  
"Stop!" I shout, snatching the rifle from her and throwing it away. "He's dead Nichols. He's gone."

She covers her eyes and shakes her head.  
"You did well Nichols, you're okay." I smile and put an arm around her shoulder, "We're good."  
"I d-d-don't-" she stutters and holds back tears.  
"Hey, everyone freaks out on their first kill. It won't get better for most," I shrug and walk back to get Kai. "I'm going to scavenge the camp."  
"You were fine with it, though!" she protests as I mount him and set him to canter.  
"A group of them dragged my girlfriend into a diseased parking lot and I watched as their leader raped her and eventually got her pregnant. I'm not exactly a raider's biggest fan."  
"But-"  
"They aren't people, Nichols," I shake my head, "they're animals. They have no sympathy for others, so they don't deserve what they don't give."

…

"Daniels… I…" Nichols gasps when I rummage through a bag. "Why?"  
"Why what?" I frown, looking up at her.  
"Did they have to die?"  
"Nichols, come on…"  
"No, I'm serious. They had families too; they could have had children or brothers who cared for them. They certainty had mothers. They may not have tried to hurt us."  
"You don't know that. This world is their playground. You should know that these guys kill anyone they can't sell to slave traders. It was them or us, Nichols."  
She bends down and sighs, kissing my cheek, "Thank you for teaching me."  
I jolt at the kiss and sigh, "Stop doing that."  
She sighs and stands back up, "I'll… get the horses."

…

"Well, well, long time no talk." Washington smiles as he greets up at the gate.  
"Hey," I hop off Kai and give him a hug. "How was the Citadel to you?"  
"Bunch of privileged fucks," he grumbles. He hears Nichols' sigh when she hears me laugh Washington chuckles awkwardly, "Sorry kid, no offense."  
"Whatever," she grumbles, grabbing Kais reigns off me. "I'm going to take care of these two."  
"Hey I can help you out if-" I follow her and scratch the back of my head sheepishly.  
"No," she snaps, "you stay right there."

"O…kay…" I raise my hands and take a few steps back.  
"What's up Nichols' ass?" Washington laughs and hands me a beer.  
"Maybe because you pissed her off, Washington,"  
"Ain't my fault she's a Citadel runt," he smirks, "or that she has a short temper."

"Well I'd _love _to stick around and discuss her personality but I would rather go and find out what work I'm supposed to be doing."  
"Basic patrol work, don't get too excited."  
"Are you fucking serious? I thought I was going to be doing something actually interesting for once."  
"Don't think that BoS just forgot about that stain on your record, kid. They're sympathetic but the last thing they need is the Enclave criticising poor personnel and gaining more support to their cause."  
"Enclave? They're just old eye bots that got loose in a RobCo plant a few years ago that had old radio recordings on loop. They had holotapes in them for fuck's sake, it isn't a live frequency."  
"Daniels, you know roughly what the government was like before this entire shit storm of a Holocaust went down right?"  
"Of course."

Washington sighs, "Well, seems like some families in DC want the 'Good ol' fashioned 'merican way of life back.' That whole patriot shit… what was his name?"  
"John Henry Eden."  
"Right. He's appealing to the bleeding heart romantic patriots. America was born on hard labour and died with a 'we'll go down fighting' attitude. The carcass the Chinese left behind wants to revive itself. It wants established government again, no more mutants, police like you and I only without a rifle strapped to our backs. They want to be _safe_. What do you think goes through their minds when they're hearing a machine hover past with patriotic music and some President vomiting forth plans to rebuild the world?"

I sigh and take a few steps back and cross my arms, "It won't work like that. The problem's too big to be solved."  
Washington rolls his eyes, "Look, nowadays we need to look squeaky clean in comparison to these guys. They've been around for a while and people are starting to listen to the shit coming from its robotic mouth. If they have intelligence of you going ballistic on a couple of raiders they'll eat that up and start calling us savages."  
"Fine." I sigh. "Am I on night patrol?"  
"Now 'til 0500 hours," he mumbles and hands me a high strength torch and a book. "Have fun kid."  
"Hey, Washington," I call him back, "Do you… do you know if there's anything open for extra pay that isn't field work? I kind of need the money."  
"Not at the moment kid," he shakes his head. "I'll look into it. Just go start your patrol."

I walk away from the main entrance to Jefferson that's behind the stables and around the west side of the building. It's mostly empty around this time, the only sounds I can really hear are crackling, dim light fires some idiot forgot to burn out where we cremate anything that crawls out of the lake. I climb up the makeshift watch tower and sit down on the usual miserably destroyed lawn chair. I sit the torch on the wooden railing and pin it down with some duct tape in my bag and lean back in my chair. Oh well, at least it's quiet…

…

"Winter…"  
"Shit!" I gasp and jolt awake, grabbing my rifle and spinning around.  
"Whoa, hey!" Dad gasps, backing away from me with his hands raised. "Easy."  
"Damn…" I groan. "Why did I fall asleep?"

"Morning," Dad smiles and hands me a mug.  
"What's this?" I frown, taking the mug and smiling when it warms my freezing cold fingers.  
"Chicken soup. Madison made it this morning."  
I sip at some of the juice before he hands me a fork.  
"Thanks," I smile and poke a small piece of chicken, "how's the project going?"  
"We think that it's almost finished. How's the baby?"  
"She's fine. Amata's actually excited."  
He chuckles and shakes his head, "Of course she is."  
"She's driving me insane. I'm dragging myself to Craterside at 3 in the morning to get peaches. Moira's left me a key to go inside."  
I drink the soup again and he sighs, "Use a fork, Winter."

I feel awkward and slowly bring the soup away from my mouth. We only really exchange simple sentences now, almost like two strangers. Amata's insistence on pushing the two of us closer has always resulted in awkward conversations that almost always lead into arguments. Always about going back to that damn Vault. I haven't spoken to Amata about it yet, she just assumes we're arguing because that's what we always do.  
"If you need my help to get this project in order you know that I'm up for anything."  
Dad sheepishly reaches into his lab coat pocket and brings out a thick envelope.  
"Dad…" I sigh.  
"It's a simple Vault scavenging mission. I promise. You don't even have to do it now; it could be three months from now, time is flexible… though I'll say from personal experience that it's better to do the important things before you have a baby to take care of."  
"I thought you said that you almost finished it."  
"We've almost finished the essential components. Getting what we need in that envelope just might take time, that's all. Go get some sleep, alright? We'll talk about it later."  
"Yeah."

…

There's way too much noise in the main building. Machines are constantly whirring and people are arguing. Not to mention heels are always clicking along the wooden floors and heavy footed men tromp around the halls like an overweight mutant. At around 10 in the morning I toss my blankets off me in frustration and storm down the stable to get some sleep.

"Can I please sleep here?" I mumble to Nichols.  
Nichols is reading in the only vacant stable and looks up at me with a surprised look on her face, "What's wrong with you?"  
"Just- yes or fucking no," I groan.  
"So long as you don't start talking in your sleep again, sure."

I vault over the wooden barrier, preferring the stink of horse shit to not being able to sleep. I collapse beside her and land my head onto the pillow next to hers.  
"Want me to read you a bed time story?" she smirks.  
"Fuck you," I mutter.  
"You sure? I've got my book right here."  
"I'm sure."  
"Goodnight, hot stuff." She smirks.  
I groan in frustration and close my eyes, "You have to stop saying shit like that. If Amata finds out she'll rip my face off."  
"She won't find out. Go to sleep, Daniels."

…

I wake up to a stupid fly buzzing around my head. I wave my arm around, but it refuses to go away, in fact, it only gets louder.

"What the hell is that?" I mumble and bury my face against the pillow. Crap, did I really sleep until dark? It's pitch black outside.  
"Bird," Nichols yawns and rolls over away from me, "It'll just be a supply run, Daniels. Go back to sleep."  
I groan and rest my head against my hay-pillow once more, feeling surprisingly warm. I hear the engines of the bird cut off, then shouting and gunfire.

"Shit!" I gasp, jumping up and strapping on my leg.  
"What the hell?!" Nichols gasps, "Why is there shooting?"  
"I don't know!" I pull on my jacket and run out of the stable. "Stay here!"

Five Vertibirds are landing on the ground, with search lights spinning out around them.  
"What the hell is going on?!" I shout to a passing BoS soldier.  
"Enclave's here," he shouts over the gunfire. "Get your ass to the front line! Don't let them get into the memorial!"  
I spin around frantically and start running for the group of BoS who are charging towards the soldiers jumping from the Vertibirds.  
"Shit," I yell as a bird fires a rocket onto the ground a few feet away from me. The impact sends me flying backward and my ears start ringing. I slap at my ears and roll onto my back, my leg too numb to support itself but I can still move it.  
"Get up!" someone shouts, though I can hear it like it's a whisper. The second my hearing starts to improve another explosion hits and my hearing snaps right back into nothing and a cloud of dust whirls into my eyes. I look up and see Nichols shouting something at me.  
I stumble onto my feet and she shoves my rifle into my hands and shouts at me again, pointing to the flaming wreckage of five Brahmin wagons that burst into smithereens on impact from a rocket. A blast of heat from the rocket smacks my face and I erupt into a coughing fit.  
"Get the horses out!" I shout over the noise. "Take them to the Citadel, I'll come back and get Kai later when everything's calmed down!"  
She yells something at me that I can only assume is "No, I'm not leaving."  
"Don't fucking argue! Go! You can't shoot for shit! You'll be chewed up in a second!"

Nichols steadies me and I nod at her. She makes a run for the stables to get Kai and Thunder out of their stables and I turn around and run for the front line.

"Fuck!" I howl when another barrage of rockets pounds the soldiers ahead of me. The earth shakes and dirt blends with blood as it soars high into the air.  
"Someone shoot down those fucking birds!" a Knight roars.  
"Daniels!" Washington shouts. He appears out of nowhere and rips me toward him, "You need to go into the atrium! Go!"  
"What?! No! My orders are-"  
"Fuck your orders! Get your ass into the atrium and cover the scientists in case some of them get in! And send a distress call while you're at it!"  
"I don't know how to-"  
"_Just fucking do it!_" he roars and shoves me toward the entrance of the building. "Communication units are MIA! It isn't that hard!"

…

I slam the door open into the building and sprint down into the hallways. Papers are flung everywhere. Glass is shattered all over the floor and strange liquids make me almost slip a few times. Hysterical scientists are clinging onto BoS who order them into the basements. It's absolute pandemonium. I shove past scientists and through doors and into the atrium. I run up into the main practical station and find the radio.

"Oh _shit _why me?" I groan as my hands clumsily drop the… mike… thing. _Fuck_!  
"Come on, Daniels. You can figure this out…" I groan and twirl the dial to try and get the frequency of the Citadel. Think think think… I press the… output… thing, and grab the mike.  
"Um… shit! Mayday! Mayday! This is Corporal Winter Daniels! Stationed in Jefferson Memorial AKA Project Purity! We are under heavy fire from an unknown… force!"  
Oh dear god why me? Why? What did I do to deserve this?  
"Casualties are mounting! We have casualties! Requesting immediate assistance, over!"  
I release the call button and wait for a response.  
"Winter!"

I whirl around and see Dad charging toward me, "What are you doing in here?!"  
"Shh!" I yell.  
"Go! I know how to do this! Run! Get out of here _now_!"  
"Dad! I-"  
He rips my gun out from under my hip and points it at me. I don't flinch and smirk at the gun, "Are you seri-"  
"I'm sorry."  
I hear the bang and the bullet _from my own fucking gun_ carves into my stomach.  
"Aargh! You son of a bitch!" I gasp and collapse onto the cold metal floor. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"  
"I'm sorry. You have to get out of here even if a medic has to drag you out," he tucks the revolver back into my holster and lifts me up like I'm a baby.

"Medic!" he shouts. "We've got a wounded Corporal!"  
Someone grabs a hold of me and rips me from Dad's arms. "I've got her!" someone shouts.  
"I've got to secure this project, Winter," he says calmly and reaches down to stroke my hair. "I want you to look after yourself, okay?"  
Oh shit.  
"Dad, don't," I croak and groan in pain when someone lays me down onto a stretcher. "Dad come with me. We'll be okay. They probably won't destroy the project, Dad! They'll just… Dad, just follow me!"  
_What the fuck is going on?!_ _He's fucking insane!_ _This isn't worth a suicide mission, Dad!_  
"Shh…" he says gently and kisses my forehead, "God forgive me for this. You'll get better, you can survive this, no problem. The Enclave won't shoot civilians and scientists, they will never be forgiven. You're safe. I love you, Winter. This is going to start a war, what has happened tonight. People _will _die, people _will _get sick, people _will _starve. You know what you have to do now. Make me proud, and let her go."  
"Dad! Come back here so I can kick your ass!" I beg and they lift the stretcher to carry me away, "DAD!"  
"Someone inject her with morphine! She's losing blood!"  
"We're losing ground!" a soldier shouts hysterically as the gunfire and screams from above slowly fade as more lives are taken.  
"No!" I growl as someone rolls up my sleeve. "Dad! The soldiers will get in!"  
"I know," he says as he walks away.

Someone injects the needle into my arm… and I start to fall asleep.

What the fuck is going on?

* * *

**Leave a review and I'll see you guys soon :-)**


	27. Home Again

A strong, deep pain in my stomach, that's what I have to wake up to.  
"Ungh…" I groan and turn my head to cough. I put a hand on my stomach and feel something rough. Little tiny needles stab into my eyes when I open them, and everything hurts after that. A dark figure looms over me and gently grips my wrist. I can't make anything out, I can barely see anything.  
"Dad?" I croak out in a whisper and reach my other hand up to touch his arm.  
"Shh… easy now…" another, honey-like voice whispers at me and places my right hand down on the bed, "don't get up too quickly now."  
"Amata…" I murmur.  
"Where's Amata?" not-Amata asks soothingly. "I'll get her for you."  
"M- ugh…! Megaton…"  
"I'll give her some morphine. Are you okay to stay with her while I put in the call for her?" not-Dad grumbles and pushes a few buttons.  
"I'm not going anywhere," she says softly and trails a hand up my jawline.

The doctor leaves and I turn my head to the woman beside me.  
"N… Nich…"  
"Don't bother trying to talk," I can practically hear Nichols smile; "Your throat'll be like sand paper. You're fine, you'll be okay. Your Dad is okay, Kai is okay, Washington got hit in the ass but otherwise he's fine. You've been out of it for almost two days."  
"Don't believe you," I cough.  
"Don't talk," she smiles and runs her fingers up and down my throat.  
"Ungh…" I groan as the morphine starts to hit.

"Honey? Winter? Are you awake?"  
My eyes jolt open and I let out a strangled gasp.  
"Shhh… hey… it's alright. It's me."  
I hear Amata's sweet, beautiful voice, and the agonizing unbearable pain goes down a little. Joy.  
"Hey…" I cough and force my eyes to focus. I need to see her now, right now. It hurts to not be able to see her.

Those angelic brown eyes beam when they meet mine and a soft, small smile crosses her face. Her eyes are rimmed red and bags are underneath them.  
"I love you," I croak, "in case I don't make it."  
She laughs and kisses me, "You're going to be fine, honey."  
"Are you okay? And the baby?"  
"The baby is fine," she says firmly, "and so am I. We're both worried about you right now."  
"I thought you said I was going to be okay?" my voice starts to clear as my vision does.  
"You are physically. But you did just claw your way through an absolute blood bath, you may be a little… worn down."  
"Where's Dad?"  
"Alive. I promise."  
"How?"  
"BoS got a hold of a certain desperate soldier's distress call and sent help almost immediately through a few vertibirds sent from the Citadel. He got picked up and he's being treated for a few burns in Rivet City."  
"Why isn't he here?"  
"BoS personnel are the only ones who get medical attention in the Citadel."  
"The Enclave?"  
"They had to pick me up on a vertibird when they were giving supplies to Springvale. It's really bad. People are at each other's throats. So many people are dead, Winter."  
I look down and tears burn into my eyes.  
"Hey," she whispers and holds my hand, "it's going to be okay. You guys can win this."

…

"Look who finally decided to wake up!" Washington booms as he walks into the room. "How are you kid?"  
"How bad is it?" I grunt as I sit up.  
"Pretty bad. We have heavy casualties in the downtown DC area. Mutants are on the rampage, civilians are riled up and are starting to take sides and it's looks like we're going to go to war."  
"Oh god," Amata gasps and grips my shoulder.  
"You'd think that we'd be too busy with mutants to go to war," I sigh and shake my head.  
"I know. Listen, we don't know how bad it is yet. It could just be a little skirmish for all we know. There isn't a massive reason to panic yet."  
He dumps a small file onto my lap and a black box, "Congratulations, by the way."

"What?" I frown and open the box to find a medal with the traditional Brotherhood of Steel logo in a golden tint.  
"That's a bravery award right there," he smiles and taps my cheek, "for outstanding valor during a time of crisis under attack from the enemy."  
"I didn't do anything though," I frown.  
"You sent out that shitty knock off of a distress call. That counts," he smirks and Amata gingerly picks it up to look at it.  
"I don't want it," I flick my wrist at it. "I don't deserve it."  
"Win- Daniels!" Amata starts to say my first name but I once mentioned to her that I enjoy the fact that Washington might not know my first name. Why she bothered to keep up the joke is beyond me, this isn't exactly the time for laughing.  
"Take it, kid," he sighs. "You did deserve it. Just take it and lock it away in a box at your house and never look at it again."

"You take it," I shove the medal toward him. "I don't want it."  
"I can't take your Valor medal, Daniels. They don't just give these away, it has to go through an approval process that even goes to the hands of the Elder," he sighs. "Do you know how many soldiers would kill for those?"  
"Exactly. I don't deserve it. I'm in the BoS bad books and there's tons of better soldiers than me, I don't want it."  
"Thank you, Washington," Amata delicately puts the medal in the box and puts it in one of her bags. "I'll make sure she doesn't lose it."  
I give Amata a dirty look and cross my arms like a child. She cuffs the back of my head lightly and Washington shakes his head before tapping the file resting on my lap, "Give that a read. It's a rough idea of what's going on."

…

I sit on the bed with my leg crossed and slightly hunched over to avoid the pain in my stomach. The file sits in my lap and I skim through the pages. It's for all the MP's, so we're informed of the situation in case any fights break out between two personnel. It's bad. It's really bad. Breakdowns of the Enclave's armour and equipment check out to be on par, if not even _better_ than the stuff we're using. 75% of the BoS stationed at the Project are either KIA or MIA. The MIA part worries me though. We know nothing about the Enclave except the fact they are bleeding heart patriots for the "America that nuclear warfare raped and slit its throat". We don't know if the missing BoS soldiers are prisoners, dead, or have gone AWOL. The Enclave suffered heavy casualties too, we could tell from the intelligence collected and written reports from a small scout party that surveyed the Jefferson Memorial. They burn their dead, they don't bother to bring them back to base and ship them back to their families, wherever they are. They strip them of their armour and weapons, and throw them naked onto the fire. Jesus Christ.

I can feel Amata's eyes drilling into me while I'm reading. I try to keep my face blank, or at the least curious, in an attempt to hide the panic in my eyes. She pretends to eat some soup but it's obvious she's studying me for my reactions. Whenever I look up at her she gives me an assuring smile and pretends she hasn't been inspecting every little movement I make.

Eventually, I close the file shut and rub my tired eyes. Amata sits on the bed in front of me and I open my fingers a bit so I can see her. She's just starting to show now, with a tiny little bump sticking out of her tank top.  
"I love you," she smiles and puts a hand on my cheek. "We can figure this out, alright? We're good. No matter what, we'll have each other."  
I look down at the file and shake my head, "Yeah…"  
"What's wrong?" her thumb moves up to stroke my cheek bone, something that used to make me feel… calm? Now it just hurts, knowing that every touch, kiss and word exchanged to each other is just a pleasure and feeling that I won't be able to feel for much longer.

This war between the Enclave and the Brotherhood; this could very well kill me. I can easily be shot in the head, or bleed out in the battlefield. I could get brain damage, or some disability that means I can't take care of her anymore. No amount of skill or speed a person has can avoid a bullet. What then? What happens if Amata is left alone with that baby in this horrible world? Working for Church doesn't earn enough money to buy food. She's a horrible shot, she's vulnerable, she's shy when she needs to be. If I'm gone and she's still out here…

But… if she's in the Vault. She'll be… normal. She'll raise the baby, she'll be happy. The worst thing that could happen to her is a bad radroach bite that a course of antibiotics can heal in a few days. The kid grows up to read and write and be smart. One day, I can come back; when it's as close to safe as this world can get. I can come back for her if I live through this and make this world safe for them.

"Come here," I sigh.  
She shuffles closer to me and smiles at me when she rests her forehead against mine. I close my eyes and feel the warmth of her skin against mine.  
"You know that I will do anything for you and this baby," I whisper.  
"Of course," she smiles.  
I move my hand up and brush a strand of hair off her face. "I… I need to take you away from here."  
"What do you-"  
"It isn't safe here for you or this baby anymore, Amata. Washington is wrong, this kind of thing just won't brush off into nothing. I can't just sit by and have you and our baby girl be in danger."  
Tears well up in those beautiful brown eyes, but I refuse to cry.  
"I love you so much," I shake my head when she rips my hand away from her. "You have to understand why I'm doing this."  
"No, I'm not leaving you," her voice catches and she puts a hand on my shoulder and almost breaks my collar bone from the pressure she puts on it.  
"Do you think I want you to? If it was just the two of us, I wouldn't be doing this. But I don't want _anything _to happen to the two of you. It's just a risk we can't take, Amata."  
She looks up at me and shakes her head rapidly, "N… no… Winter I can't raise a child without you. Oh god. I can't _operate _without you. I've known you since I was _born_ for fuck's sake! Think about it, what was the longest time we've been separated?"  
"Amata…"  
"It can't be more than two weeks!" she ignores my protest and drills her eyes into mine. "In the 21 years I've been alive, I have only gone two weeks straight without being in contact with you. I can't just cut you out of my life!"  
"It isn't forever," I say firmly, "just until this war is over."  
"Oh fuck off with that!" she shouts. "You were a WW2 fanatic, Winter! That war lasted _six years_! Can we _really _go without each other for _six years_?! It might be 50! Like the Cold War!"  
"This won't be that large a scale," I say firmly. "This isn't _that _bad! The BoS operates in different states! You don't think that soldiers won't be tripping over themselves to charge into a battlefield?"

I grip her hands firmly, "Listen to me. I love you. We _will _be together again, okay? I will do everything I can to protect you, alright?"  
"Prove it," she mumbles and looks down at my hands holding hers.  
"Prove what?"  
"That you love me, and we'll be together again. Marry me."  
"Amata I-"  
"Marry me!"  
I give a hint of a smile and shake my head, "I was supposed to ask you that."  
She grabs the front of my jacket and shoves me forward toward me. "Prove it to me," she growls with intensity in her eyes I haven't seen in her before.  
I smile at her and nod, "Okay. But I'm only giving you rings. We aren't having a ceremony that has a bad taste to it. When this war is over, _then _I'm going to marry you. And it's going to be the best day of your life, Amata."  
She laughs and wipes tears from her eyes. She hugs me tightly and I give her a few kisses.  
"Love you," I smile.  
"I love you," she sighs and smiles big up at me, "Just promise me something. Promise me that you'll be back before the baby can talk."  
I laugh and nod, "I'll try my best."

…

Dad arrives at the Citadel while a doctor is prodding my stomach with icy cold fingers the next morning.  
"Argh! Quit it!" I yelp and slap his hand away.  
"Still in high spirits I see?" Dad sighs and sits down beside me. Amata is holding my hand and kisses my fingers when I look over at her.  
"Can you give us a few minutes, honey?" I glance over at her. She nods and kisses me, before excusing herself to get some food for us.

Dad looks like hell. His arms are bandaged and he has a nasty burn on his right cheek that's leaking a yellowish puss from tender, bright pink skin that's accommodating a small collection of blisters. His eyes, like Amata's are rimmed red and he looks absolutely exhausted.  
"We lost the project," he grumbles and buries his face in his hands.  
"I know," I shake my head and grasp his hand, "I'm really sorry Dad."  
"It's in Enclave hands. As far as we know it's still intact. I managed to create a few problems for them to work on that should take them a few months."  
I nod, "We'll get it back. It's just a matter of what it will be like to come back to."  
He makes a small smile, "I knew you would say that. Anyway, I'm ready. Lay it on me."  
"I'm not mad at you for shooting me. I understand why you did it. Though I'd prefer you shot me in the left arm or somewhere where it doesn't hurt every time I sit up. I… I need your help."  
"With what?"  
"She isn't safe here while this war is going on. I owe it to her to make sure that this baby is safe."  
He sighs deeply, "I know you'll do right by her Winter… what do you need me to do?"

_10 days later_

"Okay…" I sigh and close my eyes. I look down at the ground and concentrate, "this is the reactor room…"  
Dad, Amata and I stand outside Megaton and on top of the hill roughly 30 metres from the wooden door to the entrance of the Vault.  
"Right. So that would mean that the west side of the entrance is roughly…. Here," Dad takes 40 paces away from our spot.

I watch him walk while supporting myself with my crutches and Amata by my side. It's been a while since I've been back to hopping around, but my fake leg got banged up pretty bad during the assault on the Project and Moira's repairing it. I feel vulnerable like this. I'm not as fast and I feel awkward when people stare at me. I can wear my revolver where ever I go for as long as I want when I'm with Amata, but two women, one of them with one leg, is easy pickings for a gang of raiders. I forgot what sheer terror, desperation and helplessness tag teaming you at the same time felt like.

Dad drives a shovel into the ground and sticks a long wooden stick into the small hole he creates.  
"Do you think that this will work?" I sigh.  
"Don't see why it shouldn't," Dad sighs. "It's simple when you think about it. We have a surplus of explosives from the Project and a ton of drills. The machines from the reactor will drown out any noise and those damn machines are always faulty when the mention breeches. You slip into the hole we create; you sneak around and get into the Overseer's office. You dismantle the security alarms and any obstructions our breach has created. Meanwhile, I prepare Amata you meet us back at the opening and go into your old apartment. You two say your goodbyes and then I lift you up, seal the breaches, then we leave like nothing happened."

"Oh god this isn't going to work," I laugh and rub my eyes with my knuckles as I sit down. "Oh we're fucked."  
"Always the optimist, Winter," he sighs. "Okay. I'll start digging tomorrow then?"  
"Um… yeah sure… how long do you think this will take?"  
"Probably… if it's just me… around a week maybe? It will only be around 5 metres."  
"That little?"  
"Erosion, Winter."  
"Erosion doesn't work that way Dad. It has to rain for that," I sigh and bury my face in my hands as the time I have left with Amata dramatically decreases before my eyes.  
"You're forgetting the 5 month rain storm of 2077-2078." Why the fuck does he sound cheerful?  
"What?" I groan.  
"Yeah all the fallout got into the air, massive ashy rain fell onto the Earth for a good few months. Eroded the hell out of the soil meant to cover the Vault, not to mention some of the dirt shifted to form the dirt hill we just walked across."  
"I don't like the final part of the plan," Amata speaks up and looks at me. "I don't want to be left alone to deal with Dad."  
"You're pregnant, what's he going to do?" I shrug.  
"I shot him the last time I saw him, Winter. We don't know anything about what happened between them."

I sigh and look at Dad, "What do you think? He's going to probably shoot me on sight."  
"I'd say your best bet is to go in with no visible weapons. Carry a concealed pistol in case the worst happens. Make it clear that you aren't going to be a problem; swallow your pride if you have to and beg."  
"You don't have to beg, honey," Amata smiles at me and kisses my cheek after I pull a face. "I'll do most of the talking."  
"Oh… kay…" I sigh and get up, "I'll um… leave you to it then."  
He smiles at me and starts to dig the hole.  
"Give us a second?" I smile at Amata and nod toward Megaton. "I'll catch up, alright?"  
She nods and walks down the hill, leaving Dad and I alone.

"Did you get it?" I smile.  
"Your mother made me save these for you," he chuckles softly and brings out the black box. I open them and see my mother's engagement and wedding rings, as well as my father's.  
"Catherine and Amata are roughly the same size, she should be alright. You're going to have to change the size of mine if you intend to wear it though," he says awkwardly, "for obvious reasons."  
"Yeah, I know a girl for this," I drop Dad's ring onto my ring finger and smirk at how big it is on me, and how I'm going to have to sit through one of Amata's best friends, Moira, screaming her shop down as she adjusts our wedding rings.  
"I'm proud of you, Winter," he smiles.  
"Thanks, Dad," I chuckle and tuck the box into my BoS jacket.  
"Welp. I better get to it. Wish me luck."  
"Thank you, Dad. Good luck."

…

"Hey," Amata smiles when I open the door to the house. She's sitting down on the couch, beautiful brown hair let down for a change instead of strung high up into a messy bun, and skimming through another of those mind numbing pregnancy books.  
"Find anything interesting?" I smirk and sit down beside her. The air between us has kind of grown awkward in the past 10 days. We still act the same around each other, though the smiles are a tad bit faded and our kisses linger for a few more seconds than they usually do. Both of us ignore the looming separation hanging over our heads for a little while longer and Amata rests her head in my lap, even though it's awkward as her neck slips entirely into where my right thigh should be. I smile down at her and stroke her hair.  
"A week left, huh?" she whispers.  
"Don't think like that. Think of it as a week of doing whatever you want. Knowing Dad he probably will take longer than that."  
"Lucas saw him when he was on watch and is going to help him out."  
"Oh damn," I sigh. A week just turned itself into three days, hasn't it?  
"We don't have to do this. I'll hide out somewhere."  
"Don't make me feel more shit for doing this than I already am, honey," I laugh. She sits up and kisses me, "I'm not mad at you for looking out for my well-being and making sure our baby grows up safely. I'm not psychotic."  
"No shit," I roll my eyes and laugh again when she whacks the back of my head. I quickly wrap my arms around her back and pull her close to me so she can't break free and dig my fingers against her back.  
"Don't!" her body spasms and she bursts into an explosion of giggles as she struggles to escape me. I eventually let her go when she's reduced to a drooling wreck and she eventually snuggles against me when I lie sideways on the couch.  
"What's in your pocket?" she mumbles against my neck.  
"Hmm?"  
"Something's in your pocket and it's crushing my hip bone."  
I laugh and tap her shoulder to get her to sit up.

I get her to close her eyes and I take out the engagement ring and hurriedly tuck the box back into my pocket before she can peek.  
"Open your eyes," I smile and hold the ring in front of her.  
Hey brown eyes slowly open and she grins when she sees the ring. It glimmers in the light, made of polished silver with a blue gem at the top in the centre.  
"W… what are you doing?" she stutters and covers her mouth.  
"I'm asking you to marry me," I grin at her bewildered expression. "I thought you would be a little less surprised."  
"I didn't expect you to actually ask!" she grins and looks down at the ring like it's the cure for the memory loss she must have had after she almost crushed my hands demanding I marry her to prove my undying love for her. Ah, love.  
"Will you marry me, Amata Almodo- hey!"  
Amata flings herself at me and tackles me to the ground. I just manage to hold onto the ring before she kisses me deeply.  
"Hey…" my grin fades into a smile when she straddles my waist and gazes down at me.  
"I love you Bright Eyes," she laughs.  
"I love you," I move my hands up and down her body. "We'll be okay, sweetheart."

…

_Two days later_

I wake up feeling like today is the day that I'm going to die. I'm lying in bed with Amata and tangled with her in a heap of blankets and pillows. She's clinging onto me like a vice, her warm skin radiating against mine and warming me. I look down assuringly at the wedding band on my finger and nod at it. It was a hilariously quiet affair. I walked home with my fixed wedding ring in my hand after a few hours of listening to Moira squeal her store down. Quite an accomplishment considering I could hear her outside of the mask she was wearing and the blowtorch she had on full blast. I literally walked (with crutches) home, grabbed Amata and kissed her dizzy. We declared our undying love for each other and we slid on our rings. I promise her a proper ceremony when I come to get her from the Vault, before she drags me upstairs and slams the door behind us.

We still haven't told anyone aside from Dad what's happening. Lucas himself knows only because I trust him with my life and he volunteered to help Dad with the digging. Today… they're done. We heard the soft explosions last night to clear most of the wall away while we were in bed together. Both of us just froze, and Amata did her best not to cry.

I carefully move her off of me and sit up to get dressed. When I sit down to put on my shoe, I feel a warm arm slide around my waist and a head resting against the back of my shoulder.  
"They're ready, aren't they?" she whispers.  
"… Yeah…" I sigh and run a hand through my hair.  
"I love you, Winter," she smiles softly when look back at her.  
"I love you too Amata," I murmur and softly kiss her lips. "We shouldn't keep them waiting."  
"Okay…"

…

"Hey you two," Dad greets us, "are you ready?"  
"As ready as we can be," I sigh.  
"Right," he fires up the drill and cuts the last bit off the metal. He peels back the clean metal square and lifts it onto the dirt beside us.  
"Okay, I'll go first," I smile assuringly at Amata. "You have to stay right behind me, okay?"  
She nods rapidly, "Right."  
I bend down to drop into the hole, "Wait!"  
"What?!" Amata gasps when I grab her wrist.

My hands latch onto her Pip-boy and I press a few buttons, "Come on… Yes!"  
I grab her and kiss her lips deeply, "I fucking love you!"

I always thought Amata downloading those files from her Dad's computer was a waste of time during a desperate escape. I can always rely on two things, however. One, Amata is a compulsive data hoarder and refuses to delete anything. Two, Amata's father tends to dump all of his extremely important Vault files on a simple four letter password computer. This included patrol times for guards and standard rosters. It just so happens that 4AM in the morning is when no one patrols around the Vault entrance, only at 9AM; which means that Dad can leave the gap loosely open to ensure a quick escape, if needed.  
I take a deep breath, then drop down.

My foot lands quietly down onto the cool metal floor. I don't bother wearing a shoe; it makes too much noise. I help Amata down and she crouches down beside me with a bag of all her stuff strapped tightly around her. The air smells… clean. Compared to the crap we've been breathing for almost three years having an air-purifier makes breathing so much easier.  
"Stay behind me," I whisper when Dad seals the gap.

4AM for Vault 101 means everyone is sleeping. Only two or three guards are on duty, and even then they mostly sleep in their apartments. My leg is quiet enough, but I wrapped it with a few layers of socks so it's reasonably quiet. The place feels dead, compared to the constant bustling of a settlement I would even call it boring. There's no creaking of tin houses, no dogs barking, no fires crackling, no people arguing, no… nothing. The quiet is deafening. I slip open the door past the main entrance and poke my head around, "What the hell…?"  
The hallway is in complete ruins. Safety signs are tossed around the cramped space an graffiti is everywhere.  
"Get back!" I whisper loudly when she tries to look into the hallway.  
I slowly slide out the gun I kept tucked in the back of my pants and she grips my wrist, "Honey…?"  
"Shh!" I whisper loudly, "Stay here."  
"Winter!" she scolds when I step out into the hallway. "I thought we agreed on-"  
"Just stay here!" I snap, "I'll be right back!"

I creep further down into the Vault, and only into more chaos. There's no blood, as far as I can see. So far it looks like some dickhead went over the place with green spray paint. There are no shell casings on the floor or bullet holes, there's no sign of any fighting what so ever.  
I move further down into the Vault and into the cafeteria. This place is clean and well organized, like always. The cook will be awake soon and starting to cook breakfast, even though it won't be served for another two and a half hours. I unlock the door and go into residential. As usual, everyone is asleep with the blinds drawn, leaving me masked by darkness. It still drives me insane how quiet it is. Every tiny movement I make has more volume now. I don't think my leg has ever made so much noise. I move my leg slowly with every step I take, I even grip it with both hands to make sure it moves as slowly as I can. Carefully, I make my way to my old apartment. I unlock the door with the code I vaguely remember, and the door slides open.

"Oh shit!" I gasp. Most of my stuff has been moved around to make room for more stuff, but it isn't gone. Someone is in my bed, and I see that bright orange hair lying on my bed, fast asleep until I spoke.

Susie turns around in bed and I dive out of sight.  
"Who's there?!" Susie shouts. "Butch I swear to g-"  
"Shh!" I gasp and dive into the room, "Shh!"  
"… Winter?" she gasps and turns on the lights.  
I instantly raise my hands and take a step back from her, "I'm not going to hurt you, I promise! Just be quiet, okay?"  
She stares at me for a long time, directly into my eyes. She can't see my fake leg because my leg is covered by jeans. She runs up to me and hugs me tightly.  
"Whoa!" I gasp.  
"They told me you were dead!" she laughs. "I _knew _you weren't dead! I _knew _those assholes were lying! Wait- this is a dream isn't it?"  
"Umm…" I watch her detach herself from me, grinning from ear to ear, "no…?"  
"Oh _man, _I can't _wait_ to see Alphonse's face when he finds out you've come back!"  
"Susie I-"  
"Oh shit, sorry!" She laughs and wraps her arms around me and kisses me.  
"Whoa, okay!" I gasp and push her away. "Okay, we need to have a talk real quick."

That's when I think she sees my wedding ring. The grin on her face instantly disappears and she frowns, "What the hell is that?"  
I open my mouth to speak but she sits down on the bed and laughs, "You got _married_?"  
"Um… yeah. Yeah, I did."  
"It was to Amata, wasn't it?"  
"How did you know?" I frown and cross my arms.  
She laughs and crosses her legs, "Winter, she ran out of this Vault after you, _twice_! What the hell was I supposed to think?"

She looks over my shoulder and bursts out laughing, "Oh that's absolutely perfect."  
I look over my shoulder and see Amata standing at the doorway, "I thought I told you to stay put."  
"You were taking too long. I thought something happened," she sighs and points to Susie. "What's the story here?"  
"I tried to kiss her, she set me straight. Congratulations, by the way," she mutters, "that as well as the baby."  
"Oh shit is it that obvious?" she gasps and zips up her jacket and hugs herself around her waist.  
"Honey it won't be a ground breaking shock! That's why we're here!" I whisper irritably.  
"Wow you got _serious_!" Susie laughs, "What happened to that goofy grin?"  
"I lost it the second Amata got-"  
"Freeze motherfucker!"

"Shit!" I gasp and turn around. I glimpse at the flying black object before it hits me square in the face.  
"Urgh! OW!" I groan and collapse onto the floor.  
"Wally! Don't!" Susie screams. I fling my eyes open and manage to catch the next baton that comes flying at me.

Wally Mack, dressed fully in Vault security uniform, his head shaved, looks furiously at me with wild eyes. "What the _fuck _is wrong with you?!" he growls and tries to shove the baton away from me.  
"Calm the fuck down, Mack. Don't think I won't kick your ass," I snarl. "Your little piss-ant baton doesn't scare me. Now get off me before I bite your fucking nose off.  
Wally shifts his weight so it presses against my right leg and raises his fist to punch me. I drop the baton, grab his fist with one hand and punch him square in the throat. His eyes widen and he gasps for air. He slumps off of me and I rip his weapons off of him.  
"Listen to me. I'm not here to hurt you or your family," I say firmly. "I'm going to be out of your hair in less than an hour. You won't see me again for a reasonably long time."  
"You think with all you've done, you can just walk back in here?!" he croaks, then points at Amata. "And _you_! You killed my father!"  
"Yeah well I'm pregnant from getting raped," Amata sighs irritably. "I think I've gotten my punishment for that."  
The room goes deathly silent and I look back at her with a frown, "You didn't have to be that direct."  
"Fuck you, Winter," she groans. "Can we just… we need to go see Dad."  
"He's locked himself in the Overseer's Office when he saw you creeping through the hallways," Wally grunts and lies on his side. "You won't get to him."  
"We aren't coming here to kill him. Or to take over the Vault," I sigh. "Amata needs to be safe… and why the fuck are the security cameras working? They haven't been working for _years_!"  
Wally glares at me, "You're here to dump Amata on us?"  
"I'm here to protect my family," I say simply. "My beef isn't with you, Wally. I know you're a good man, and I know you're only doing this to protect Susie and maybe have a chance at shooting me, but I'm not your enemy. I'm just a desperate soldier trying to protect her wife and kid."  
He takes in a deep sigh and looks up at his sister, "Stay here and keep an eye on Amata. I'll take Winter to the Overseer."

Wally looks at me and produces a pair of handcuffs, "It will make everyone happier if you wore these."  
"Not me, though," I frown and take a step back.  
"Winter," Amata sighs, "it might be better that way."  
I groan in frustration and put my hands behind my back. Wally cuffs me and Amata kisses me quickly. "Don't be an ass," she warns.  
"'Course not," I smile. "Love you."  
"Love-"  
"Come on love birds," Wally sighs and pushes me out of the apartment. "I'll feel better when you're locked in a cell."

…

The cell door slams shut and I lean against the bars.  
"I'm going to get the Overseer," Wally mumbles as he locks the door. "Can I trust you to not cause any trouble when he gets here?"  
"I'm locked in a cage; I think the question should apply to you, or him. I'll behave myself…"  
He rolls his eyes and closes the door behind him when he leaves. The cell is small, barely enough room to hold five people. One bench for sleeping and a sink, that's it. There's only one cell in the entire Vault, unless you're willing to get creative with one of the small apartments.

"Winter?"  
I spin around and gasp in surprise, "Brotch?!"  
Brotch, my old school teacher. The man's always been a twig, and he could never hurt a fly. He and I got along okay; we never had any major problems. He always had a spirit about him though; he would pace around the classroom whenever we were taught about history and what life was like before the Great War that ruined the Earth. He always had energy and he could make almost every subject interesting.

The energetic man I grew up around looks slowly up at me, and I hold back a gasp in surprise. His right eye is gone, crudely covered with some filthy rags. Crusty blood is all over his face he looks almost dead in his other eye.  
"Holy shit…" I gasp.  
"That bad, huh?" he coughs.  
"Shit, man," I rush over to turn on the tap; no water comes out. "Oh, of course."  
"Don't worry, I'm fine."  
"What the hell happened to you?"

"Alphonse went… angry, when you left. He spun up a story about you breaking into the Vault and trying to kill him. He said you died during the escape and Amata and some other guy dragged you out. Well… some of the younger ones started to pick up on the knowledge that there are actually _people_ out there in that supposed death zone called Washington DC. So, we started to…" he suddenly erupts into a huge coughing fit and holds a part of his ripped jumpsuit sleeve in front of his mouth.  
"Rebellion," he eventually croaks.  
"Oh Christ…" I groan and bury my face in my hands.  
"I started to speak up a bit, that we should at least take a peek outside… Alphonse didn't like it." He points at his eye and my eyes widen in shock. My hand brushes against the gun at the back of my pants that Wally stupidly didn't check for. It's a false sense of security.  
"He's going to kill me," I whisper.  
"Probably," he grunts and rolls over onto the bed. "For whatever reason you're back here for, kid, it must really be desperate out there."  
"Oh, Christ," I groan.

The door to the "jail" swings open after _two fucking hours_ and I see Alphonse walk in with a limp and absolutely livid. I make the mistake of standing within arm's reach of him behind the bars. He grabs a handful of my hair and slams my face against the bars. I go into tunnel vision and my ears ring, before he smacks my head against the bars again.  
"Ungh…" I groan and fall onto my knees, "don't…"  
"Don't?" he laughs as Wally opens the door to the cell. Alphonse grabs the collar of my jacket and drags me out, "This is my house, and I'll do whatever I want."  
"Don't hurt… her…" I groan. "I'll kill you if you hurt her…"  
My body fights to stay alert. The tunnel vision starts to fade and I feel a surge of adrenaline wake me up as he yanks me to my feet.

I'm forcibly dragged into the security room and shoved into a chair. Alphonse sits down in front of me and just laughs. He shakes his head and looks simply down at me, "Did you _honestly _think you could just waltz back in here and everything would be forgiven?"  
"I'm not staying," I shake my head, "Amata is."  
"Damn right Amata is staying! She's tainted!"  
"She's pregnant," I frown as he stands up.  
"Oh I'm aware. I blame you for that. You were in a position to be her protector. You let my baby girl get raped and you did _nothing_!"  
"You weren't there!" I shout, "I was saving an injured man! I thought that she was _safe_! I _murdered _that man for what he did to her. I slaughtered him, I made him die in a pain that only the cruelest of monsters deserve. You have _no _idea what I did to him, and neither will Amata. That's something I have to live with, and I'm not going to forget it. Hate me all you want, but I did my best to make sure that that fucking monster died knowing that he made the biggest mistake of his life. I will spend the rest of my life _loathing _myself that I couldn't protect her, and the only way I can make that up to her is if I protect her and her baby with my life, and you damn well better get used to the fact that I'm in love with this woman, and I intend of doing whatever I have to to make sure that she's safe."  
"I think you can't handle the responsibility of a child. No murderer can."  
"There's a war going on out there!" I shout. "I'm not having my wife and infant child in the middle of a warzone!"  
"It's not your child!" he snaps and grabs a pistol.  
"Don't even think about it," I snarl.  
"Give me one good reason."

"Because if I die, what do you think Amata is going to do?"  
"I won't tell her."  
"She's going to ask to see me before I leave."  
"I'll kill you after she says goodbye to you."  
"But my father is waiting for me to come back. What do you think will happen when he finds out I'm not coming back? He'll charge down here and kill you, seeing as he doesn't have much else left in the world. I made a promise to Amata that I would come back to her, and she will run out of this Vault in a second if she thinks that that kid is in danger."  
He groans and takes the gun away from me, "You have no idea how lucky you are."  
I stand up and sigh, "Trust me, I'm not lucky."

…

"Hey!" Amata gasps and hugs me tightly.  
"Hey, beautiful," I peck her lips and hug her.  
"The baby started to kick!" she grins. "Well… not kick, but I definitely felt him move!"  
"She hasn't shut up about it for at 45 minutes," Susie groans. "I never thought I would be forced to repeatedly touch Amata's stomach for more than half an hour, but there you go."  
"That's great, honey," I smile.  
"What happened to your head?!" she gasps and runs her thumb gingerly across the bruise growing on my forehead.  
"I got my welcome home present," I sigh. "I'll be fine. I didn't get knocked out so that's a plus."  
"Amata?"

We both turn around and look at Alphonse, who's standing at the door.  
"Dad," she whispers and cautiously moves closer to me.  
"He's fine," I murmur against her temple.  
Amata shakes her head, pushes herself off of me, and slaps him hard across the face.  
"Amata!" Susie and I both shout. I lunge forward and grip Amata's arms and yank her back.  
"You son of a bitch! You touch her again and I'll fucking end you!"  
"Amata! Calm the fuck down!" I gasp as Alphonse numbly staggers away and clutches his stinging red cheek in shock.  
"She's my fucking family asshole!" she screams and struggles against me to get to him.  
"Honey, calm down!" I say firmly. "It's fine, I'll be fine!"

Amata bursts into tears and I spin her around and pull her close to me.  
"Hormones?" Susie frowns.  
"Don't-!" I cover Amata's mouth when she goes to shout at her. I look back at Susie and shake my head, "Pent up anger."  
Alphonse shakes his head and leaves, mumbling something to me about having to be ready to leave in half an hour. But there's something I still need to talk to sort out first.

"You and I need to talk about something," I look at Susie who's busy helping Amata calm down.  
"About what?"  
"This rebellion I've been hearing about. What side are you on?"  
"I'm for us leaving. We can't stay here forever, we're going to run out of food eventually."  
"You've literally picked the worst time to be talking about this then. There's a war escalating between the B… look. It's really difficult to explain. Who's involved?"  
"Brotch, Christine Kendall, all of the Tunnel Snakes except for my brother, and the Gomezes."  
"That's it? Alright, get everyone together, we all need to talk."

…

"Alright. Is everyone here?"  
"What the fuck? Since when were you here?" Butch frowns and sits down at his desk.  
Susie, very helpfully, gathered everyone into the classroom (exception to Brotch for obvious reasons), so I have access to the blackboard.  
"Alright, questions to me later. Raise your hands if you want to leave the Vault today?"  
To nobody's surprise, Butch and Paul shove up their hands.  
"Idiots," I point at the using a piece of chalk.  
"Hey!" Butch cries out.  
"Shush. Listen up," I draw a circle on the black board "This represents the Capital Wasteland, what we call the shit hole we live in. Now, the shit has officially hit the fan, except for here," I draw a tiny circle in the centre of the larger one. "This, is the safest place in the entire fucking wasteland. Until this war is over, don't even bother to-"  
"War? What war?" Officer Gomez frowns.  
"The old American government versus the Brotherhood of Steel."  
"Who are the good guys?" Butch asks eagerly.  
"Brotherhood, I'm a Corporal with them." I point to my jacket with the BoS logo on the left breast.  
"So? What do we know about them?" Christine shrugs.  
"That they're good people," I say firmly. "We were working on a project to supply clean water across the wasteland when the Enclave invaded and shot up the place."

"Sounds like my type of game!" Butch grins. "Come on Daniels! Let me go out there! Just _one_ person out of a few dozen!"  
I look at Officer Gomez, "Has he been drinking paint again?"  
"No!" Butch yells out defensively.  
"Honey, show them." She slaps my leg lightly.  
"Don't freak out," I sigh and shove my hand down my jeans and into my right thigh. I expertly unstrap the belts around my right hip and jump up. Everyone gasps as my right leg flies off. Amata stands near me so that I can slip an arm around her shoulders to support myself and she puts an arm around my waist. She kicks my leg away and everyone stares at the prosthetic.  
"Landmine," I explain, "right the fuck out of nowhere too. Look, I really care about you guys. I grew up with you, and some of you had to listen to my teenage self rant on and on about going outside. If you want to go out, fine, but I am _begging _you, not now. I'm coming back to get Amata when this war is over, and when I do we can talk, alright?"

…

Everyone files out of the classroom, some of them grudgingly, before Alphonse walks in.  
"Give us a minute?" I turn to Amata and Susie. They leave with Amata mumbling something about going to wait in the hall to help me get back to the apartment.

"You just solved a major problem," Alphonse grunts.  
"They don't know any better." I sigh and lean against a desk. "I didn't, and look where that got me."  
He crosses his arms and sighs, "Thank you, for restraining Amata."  
"She's angry and upset," I shrug.  
"Isn't everyone?... I actually… wanted to thank you for something else."  
"Yeah?"  
"For not leaving her, and for marrying her. You and I both know how sensitive Amata can be."  
"She's not as sensitive as you may think," I chuckle. "I didn't stay with her from pity. I stayed with her because I love her, and it annoys me how often I have to tell that to people."  
"I know that you love her. You two have been inseparable since the day she was born."  
"It's going to be hard on her for us to be separated for so long," I mumble, "but it's for the best."  
"It is. And don't worry, I promise I will take care of her."  
"Do we have a doctor?"  
"We _had _one," he grunts. "Do you know anyone here who knows anything about this sort of thing?"  
"Only people from the outside."

Alphonse takes in a deep breath, "Listen to me. I'm only going to say this once. When Amata is set to go into labor…" he sighs deeply, "I'll send out an emergency broadcast. The door password will be changed to my name and… you and a doctor will be allowed in. I think it's important for her that you're there with her."  
"It can be a surprise for her," I smile. "Thank you, Alphonse."  
He nods, "The door is open whenever you want to leave. I'd prefer if you left within the hour though, people are already flustered."  
"I'll do my best."

…

"Hey," Amata murmurs and grips my shoulder when I pull my leg back on in the safety of Susie or Amata's apartment. I look up at her and she kisses me passionately. I pull her onto my lap and hold her tightly. I kiss her jawline and bury my face into her neck. I do my best to try and remember her smell, her voice and everything about the woman I love.  
"I promise you, we'll be together again. Who knows, this war could be over before she's born." I smile, though I strongly doubt that it will.  
"It's going to a boy, dickhead," she laughs and hops off my lap.  
I nod and kiss her again, and again, and again.

"I… I've got to go," I choke out, but cough to try and cover my emotions up.  
She nods rapidly and wipes her eyes. I give her the gun wrapped up in her jacket. She takes it and hugs me tightly.  
"I'm not stupid," she whispers into my ear, "I married an impulsive soldier who runs into the battlefield to help the wounded, I did not marry a coward. You need to know something. It isn't just me you're fighting for anymore. I want our child to grow up with two parents, I don't want you to run and save a soldier you know isn't going to make it and then get shot. Am I clear with that?"  
I slowly pull away from her and look into her eyes and nod, "Crystal."  
"I love you," she smiles and kisses me.  
"I love you," I grin, "and don't worry. I'll be careful."  
"Promise?"  
I smile and gently stroke her cheek, "Promise."

* * *

**Guess what? This is the last chapter. I don't have time to write anymore. It's gotten to be too much of an effort so, sod it. **

**Haha, just kidding. Second story is well underway and I'm working on the first serious chapter now. Big thanks to TrueNeutral for being my beta and for you guys for reviewing, following the story, and having me laugh my ass off when I see that the monthly visitor count so far (15th of April) is 276. That's 275 more than I was expecting it to be when I started this! Thanks guys, you're all awesome!**


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